I slowly opened my eyes and they were greeted with the bright sunlight that was streaming in my room through the window. I smiled and slowly sat up stretching out my arms. Another relaxing Saturday in South Park. I stared to get out of bed but once my feet hit the floor my door flung open and there stood Stan. His hat was halfway off his head and he was panting.
"Oh… my… god! Kyle… you" Stan panted in between each word. I got out of bed and walked over to him, I put a hand on his shoulder. "Dude calm the fuck down" I said and sighed. Stan took a few deep breaths and while Stan was calming down I grabbed my usual clothes. "Holy fuck Kyle, Cartman had the best idea ever!" Stan excitedly said and jumped a few times.
Cartman never has any good ideas, what are we getting ourselves into this time. "What?" I asked sighing; I really don't want to know but no matter what I'll be pulled into it anyway. "Well Kenny's 13th birthday is next Saturday and Cartman suggested we should get him some exotic dancers" Stan said smiling broadly.
"God damnit" I muttered changing into my clothes. Cartman just then busted in the door, "hurry you guys we gotta find Kinny some dancers" Cartman looked at me "Kahl! Put some clothes on your Jew body is gross" fat ass said making a face of disgust. "Then don't look" I replied lazily. This is going to fucking suck; I finished getting dressed and brushed my teeth. While I was in the bathroom washing my face and stuff, Stan stood there impatiently and Cartman was still in my room.
"Kahl! You have a faggy ass room" Cartman shouted. I just grumbled. Fat ass pushed Stan out of the doorway and held up two pictures in frames, "Kahl this is gay", fat ass said and Stan looked at the pictures "how is this gay dude?" Stan asked looking at Cartman with a confused face. They were two pictures of Stan and I, one he has his arm around my shoulders and the other we were just smiling.
"H-how are they gay?! Kahl has two pictures of you two looking like fags" Cartman said in disbelief. I pushed Cartman out of the way and took the pictures from him walking to my room to put them back where they were.
"fatass I have pictures with all my other friends too" I said, starting to walk downstairs. "Well I'm just sayin" Cartman said. We all walked downstairs and out of my house. "Ok Cartman how are we getting the dancers?" Stan asked trying to contain his excitement. What the fuck is up with him? "Well you guys, remember Kinny likes big boobs" Cartman said and started walking.
"Their strippers, not dancers" I said blatantly still not caring. "Whatever Kahl" Cartman said not caring about my opinion. "Stan do you really think this is a good idea?" I asked whispering to him, he looked at me weirdly "yea? Kenny will love it" he said smiling. I couldn't help but smile back "fine" I said giving in. We all arrived at the strip club and went straight to the owner, being that it was noon the club was empty. A few of the strippers were practicing and the owner was smoking a cigar.
"How can I help you boys?" he asked puffing out a ring of smoke. I coughed, I hate smoke. "We would like to see your strippers that have the biggest boobs" Cartman said stroking his fake beard. "Ok, you boys have good tastes. Luckily for you the girls with the biggest boobs are all here right now" he called the girls over and they all had big fake boobs, eww.
"This is Star, Sparkle, Gem, and Moon" he said gesturing to the girls standing next to him. Star and Sparkle were blonde, Gem had black hair and mood had brown hair with white streaks in it. Stan was acting excited but I saw something else in his eyes. What is that?
"We would like to rent these girls for a private party" Cartman said in a weird deep voice still stroking his imaginary beard. I looked sadly at the girls. People just treat them like objects, it's so sad.
"Sure, just pay me $500 and the girls will tell you their prices" the guy said. Cartman's face turned to shock but he kept his composure, "you're breaking my balls sir" Cartman said now switching to his bargaining voice. "How about $50" Cartman said. The guy looked at him like was crazy, goddamn this is going to be a long day.
"No" the guy said "$400". "Your breaking my balls, these strippers, I mean dancers are not your propertah so how about $75" Cartman said. "Ugh!" I complained "Stan let's just leave Cartman to this and go get some food" I said to Stan who was no longer excited, he just looked defeated. "Sounds good" Stan said once again smiling. We ran out, Cartman didn't even notice.
We went to McDonalds being that we didn't have much money with us. "I don't get what you guys see in those girls" I said glancing over at Stan, he frowned. "Dude their chicks" Stan said in a fake happy voice. We were right outside of McDonalds and I stopped in my tracks and grabbed Stan's arm. "Dude what's with you" you've been acting weird today?" I asked. Stan looked everywhere but me and stuck his hands in his coat pockets.
"Nothing Kyle" Stan said obviously lying. Ugh I don't get it, earlier today Stan was so happy about the girls and then he just lost interest. Maybe he just misses Wendy. Yea that's it! "Stan do you miss Wendy?" I asked almost certain that this was it.
Stan sighed and looked at his feet, a few strands of black hair fell out of his puffball hat. I reached over and tucked them back in. Stan's cheeks got red, "are you cold dude?" I asked. Stan pinched the bridge of his nose. "No Kyle I'm not cold and it's not Wendy" Stan said. He quickly turned and walked through the doors. I'm so confused right now.
We stood in line completely silent and ordered our food. We both got big macs, medium fries, soft drinks and I got an Oreo Mcflurry. We sat in the kid's room in the back because it was completely empty. We sat across each other in a booth and Stan immediately started to dig into his food. "So what's going on?" I asked not willing to let this go. "Just shut up Kyle" Stan said meanly. I frowned and looked away from Stan… what did I do?
We both ate our food, Stan was done and I started to eat my Mcflurry. I took a bite and hummed. Damn I love ice-cream. Stan's eyes immediately shot up and he was looking at me. I got another spoonful and licked it slowly taking it into my mouth. I pulled out the spoon and swallowed. "S-stop it Kyle" Stan said fidgeting with his hands. I furrowed my eyebrows and look at Stan. "Stop what?" I asked. "Just stop" Stan muttered. The fuck!?
I continued to slowly eat my ice-cream and Stan continued to stare at me and look away and fidget in his seat. Aww goddamnit. What. The. Fuck! "Stan what the hell is with you?" I said loudly. He threw up his hands, "ugh!" Stan screamed. "Stop teasing me" Stan said looking at me with wide eyes. "What do you mean?" I asked still eating my ice-cream. Stan had tears in his eyes and I slowly ate another spoonful.
Stan quickly jumped out of the booth and stood in front of the entry to my seat, "what?" I said eating more ice-cream while looking into Stan's eyes. Stan jumped on me and pressed his lips to mine. My eyes fluttered closed. His soft wet lips moved against mine and I kissed back, there were butterflies in my stomach and I felt sparks. Stan licked my bottom lip and I let him explore my mouth. My hands found their way to Stan's neck and one of Stan's hands were clenching my coat and pulling me towards him.
We both pulled away panting. That was amazing. "You taste like ice-cream" Stan said smiling. His face is completely red and I bet mine is too. I bit my lip and quickly kissed Stan again not wanting the feeling to go away.
"I-I've been trying to push my feeling for you away Kyle but no matter what I did they wouldn't, I wasn't attracted to those strippers and why do you think I didn't get back with Wendy a month ago whenever she asked" Stan said putting his hand on my cheek, "I love you Kyle" EEEEEEEEEE I could contain my excitement, "yay!" I shouted hugging Stan, "I love you too Stan!"
"Well well well, you fags finally got together. Took you long enough" Cartman said not surprised in any way. We quickly got out of the booth and stood next to each other holding hands. "Well in a more important matter I got the strippers for $200 and each one wants $400 and since you guys won't be into the show ill just get Star and Sparkle. Their sisters so I made a deal with them for $500 for both of them" Cartman said proud of his bargaining skills. "Kinny is going to be so happy" Cartman said. Stan and I looked at each other, "fatass how are we paying for this?" I asked already knowing the answer. "I did the hard work, you two love birds can get the money" Cartman said smirking. "No fatass!" Stan and I said in usion. "skrew you guys, I'm going home!" Cartman shouted and walked out.
Stan I and I left still holding hands. "How are we getting the money?" I asked looking at Stan. "We could ask Craig" Stan suggested. "Dude remember the Peruvian flute band? Craig is still pissed because of that and we never gave him the money back" I stated. Damn you Cartman. Damn you.
An idea popped into my head and I looked at Stan, obviously the same idea popped into his head because at the same time we both shouted "Butters!". We rushed to Butters house and easily got the money from him. "Don't tell anyone or my parents will ground me" Butters said grinding his knuckles. "Come to the party though" I said smiling at Butters, he is so easy to get things from. "Bye Butters" we both shouted and went to Cartman's to tell him.
On Saturday (Kenny's b-day) we were having the party at Cartman's. Most of the people in our grade were there and Kenny was stuffing his face. Stan and I had to get the strippers. Stan and I covered Kenny's eyes as Cartman and Butters set up the stripper poles and the girls took their places. Cartman stared the music and we uncovered Kenny's eyes.
"Woohoo!" Kenny shouted and watched the strippers. The party was absolutely crazy and Kenny had the time of his life. After the party Kenny came up to us and gave us hugs. "This was the best birthday ever and it makes me happy that you two finally got together" Kenny said.
Stan and I blushed. "And those girls had nice tits!" Kenny shouted "I got to touch them! Over and over!" Kenny jumped up and down, Stan and I laughed. We gently kissed each other. "South Park never changes does it?" I asked Stan, "nope" he replied. We smiled and went to find Butters so he could clean up this mess.