As I Think Back…

A/N. This is a requested story by RSlikestoread. She asked for an adaption to 'Philip to the Rescue' where it was more centered on Thomas and James.

Notes: Established relationship between Thomas and James. Thomas x James slash. Also, first person POV

This story is not connected to 'Welcome Home…'

I hope you enjoy this R.S.!

…

I grumbled to myself as I steamed to the yard- Sir Topham Hatt wants me to collect a goods train. A goods train! Splendid engines like myself shouldn't be going around pulling olds cars. It's not right!

But my grumbling stops as I hear a laugh. An all too familiar laugh- Thomas' laugh. I smile to myself. Thomas and I are together, and we have been for quite some time. At least one good thing will come out of today. But that thought immediately stops as I hear Thomas speak.

"Hello Philip! How are you today?" I heard Thomas' cheery voice ask.

"Great! Thanks Thomas!" Came Philip's breathless reply. "Hey, look how fast I can get to the other end of the shunting yard!" Philip yelled as I watched him back away. Then I hear Thomas' amused laugh as I moved closer.

I blew my whistle to announce my arrival. "Humph!"

Thomas looked over at me, a worried expression on his face. "What's the matter, James?"

"Sir Topham Hatt wants me to pull a goods train again." I groan. "I'm such a splendid engine, Thomas." I sigh. "I shouldn't be pulling dirty, dusty old cars." I say, looking over at the cars with disgust.

Thomas laughed. "Oh James, stop complaining. Everyone has to pull cars every now and then. If you just do it now, it'll be done before you know it." He smiles.

"Oh, James!" I hear Philip yell as he rushes towards Thomas and me, before I could reply. "Did you see how fast I was going?"

I rolled my eyes. "No Philip, I wasn't watching." I say.

"Oh. Shall I show you again, then?" He smiles.

Thomas laughs. "Go on then Philip! Show us again!"

"Ok!" Philip smiles. "Ready?! Here I go! Wahoo!"

Thomas watched him speed away with a smile on his face. However, I was looking at Thomas suspiciously. I kept doing so even as I moved forward and reversed to couple up to my train.

"What was that just now Thomas?" I ask him as I backed up in front of my train.

Thomas looked over at me, still with a smile on his face, but it lessened. "What do you mean..?"

"What was that, just now?" I repeated.

Thomas' smile was gone now, as he stared at me with a confused face. "I- I don't know what you're talking about…" He sputtered.

I scoffed as I rolled my eyes. "You know, if you like Philip more than me, you could just have told me instead of messing with my feelings like that!" I growled.

Thomas' eyes widened. "No, James, it- it wasn't like that! Please!-"

"Stop." I said. "I don't want to hear it." I said as steamed away from him in anger.

As I moved away, Philip stopped in front of me.

"James!" He said. "Did you see me that time?" He asked.

I glared at him. "Yes, yes, I saw. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a train to pull."

"Oh, are those you're cars?" The box cab asked. "I just shunted those, it was easy! I usually pull much more than that! I'm a very strong engine!"

"Yes, yes, fascinating. "I said. "Now move out of my way!"

Philip looked shocked as he stop rambling. "You could at least say please…" He mumbled.

"Fine. Please move out of my way!" I growled.

Philip quickly reversed into a siding to let me through.

I then quickly moved past him. He thinks he's so strong. Well, I'll show Thomas and Philip that I'm much better.

…

I watched as James chuffed away from me with tears in my eyes. He just accused me of liking Philip more than him. That's just not true. I don't like Philip that way. I love James. I love him so much….

I saw him having a small conversation with Philip a little ways away, but I couldn't hear what they were saying. After James said something, Philip looked rather shocked before he mumbled something. When James replied, Philip quickly moved into a siding before James steamed away.

Quickly, he came over to me. "Why is James so mean all the sudden?" He asked.

I sighed as I felt a few tears run down my face as I averted my eyes to the track below me. "I… it's something I don't, wish to talk about…" I said as I quietly left.

…

"Ready Clarabel? Here he comes!"

I hear Annie say as I move to couple up to them.

Through the sadness I felt, I chuckled. "Come on you two! Our passengers are waiting!"

"Oh, look Thomas!" I hear Clarabel cry out. Suddenly I heard James' whistle.

Then, he slowly steamed up next to me, pulling an enormous amount of cars. "I'll show that little box cab showoff what a really splendid engine can do!" He says as he moves past me with a small glare.

I can't say anything. I'm still sad and now in shock. Just how many cars is he taking?

A while later, I sighed as I steamed up to Knapford Station with a small smile plastered on my face to deflect any suspicion anyone may have at my demeanor.

"Look at me Thomas!" Philip yells as he moves past me. "I'm taking even more cars than James!"

"But, those cars are empty Philip." I say while smiling.

Philip chuckles. "I know! Nice and light! But it's still more than James' and besides, they do need them up at the quarry!" He says.

Despite myself, I laughed, just as Edward came up to me. "That little box car can be very cheeky sometimes!"

"Yes." Edward replies. "Reminds me of a little tank engine who wanted to see the world!"

When Edward leaves, I blush in both embarrassment and nostalgia. Because he's right.

…

I pant heavily as I slowly steam forward in exhaustion. I feel very sorry for myself for taking so many cars now. This is very hard. My wheels are aching oh so terribly.

It's even harder uphill. No matter the size, it doubles my torment. Finally, I make it up the hill, and smile. I did it!

But it was even harder downhill.

The cars weighed so much, that they began to push me down the hill awfully fast.

I cry out in fear and shock as I went down the hill. I tried to put on my breaks, but they were of little help to me.

I screamed as I went around a bend. "Oh no!" I cry out. "No!" Unsurprisingly, I derail. My fear increases however as I skid towards a bridge. I ram into it and it breaks leaving me halfway off the track, dangling dangerously over the track below me.

"Help… Help! HELP!" I cry out.

"Woah! Woah!" I whimper as I start teetering. "Somebody help me!"

Suddenly, I hear a horn.

I gasp. "Who's that? T-Thomas?" I instinctively call out.

Then Philip pulls into view from under the bridge. "James! What are you doing up there?"

"Oh, it's you!" I say, as I teetered more. "I've had an accident!"

"An accident?" Philip asks as he moves towards me.

My eyes widen. "Don't come any closer! I think I'm going to fall! Quickly, get help!"

I whimper as I completely fall off the track. I close my eyes, expecting to feel a harsh impact. Instead, I found that I barely fell at all. I open my eyes, and I see that Philip is under me. He prevented me from falling.

Philip smiled. "See James? I told you I was very strong!"

"Yes," I pant. "Thank you… but I still can't get up on the tracks again."

"Don't worry!" Philip says. "I'll get help! ... Oh wait, I can't."

I sighed to myself. I feel horrible. Not because I can't be helped- but because I yelled at Thomas. I know now that Thomas didn't like Philip, not that way. I hope he can forgive me…

…

I smile as I put Annie and Clarabel back in their shed. I say them farewell, before leaving. As I start heading home, I see Percy talking with Sir Topham Hatt. So, I move forward to see what's happened.

"Percy, you need to get Rocky, and take him to help James. He's derailed, and is hanging off a bridge."

My eyes widen. Before Percy can reply, I move forward. "James had an accident?! Sir, let me take Rocky! Please!" I say urgently.

Sir Topham Hatt looks at me in astonishment. Before long, he's nodding. "Alright. Let's go." He gets into my cab, then I quickly steam off to fetch Rocky.

…

I'm finally lifted in the air, off of Philip, and moved onto a flatbed. "Oh, my splendid paintwork is scratched terribly now…"

"At least you didn't hit the ground." Rocky says.

"Thanks to me!" Philip says.

"That's right! Thanks to Philip!" Rocky said.

"Yes… thank you, Philip." I say. "I'm sorry I called you a showoff before."

"Did you?" Philip asks. "A showoff?"

"That's funny coming from you James!"

I look over and see Sir Topham Hat… next to Thomas!

"Taking more cars than you can manage is what I call being a showoff!" Sir Topham Hatt says.

I sigh as I close my eyes. "I'm sorry, Sir." I say as Thomas steams away, with me on the flatbed. It was a rather awkward trip. Neither of us say anything on the way to the Steamworks.

But when we got there however, Thomas chuffed up to me just less than six feet away.

I smile tenderly at him. Slowly, Thomas smiles back, before sighing. "I'm sorry James." He says.

I was bewildered. Why was Thomas apologizing?

"I'm sorry I was talking to Philip so much, James. I-" But I cut him off.

"No, don't apologize Thomas." I demanded. "It should be me apologizing. I, like most times, judged too quickly about what was happening. I shouldn't have yelled at you just for talking to one of your friends. I had no right to. I'm sorry."

Thomas looked at me with a small smile. "Does that mean you'll take me back?" He asks softly.

I chuckled. "I never let you go." I said sincerely.

Thomas laughed, and looked at me with a small blush.

I smiled. Now, I'm not really one to be all- sentimental or lovey dovey, but I believe that this is a time where I should be.

"Thomas." I say. "Come here."

The blush on Thomas' cheeks went from a light pink dusting to a bright cherry red as he moved further towards me.

I smiled at him as he moved closer.

I looked at my blue treasure with awe. I couldn't believe how lucky I was to be with Thomas. Slowly, I moved forward, as did Thomas.

"I love you Thomas." I whispered.

"I love you too James." He smiled.

Quietly, I then placed my lips on Thomas'. I felt Thomas gently kiss back, and I was glad that we were finally back at an understanding. We kissed for a while, neither of us willing to pull away first. Thomas was the one who finally pulled away. But I chased him a bit, and stole one more kiss, making Thomas blush.

He smiled once more at me, and I did the same.

"The workers say I have to stay overnight." I said.

"I'll stay with you." Thomas said, not missing a beat.

I chuckled. "Alright."

Thomas then moved so that he could back onto the other track next to me.

We talked for hours as I was being repaired and repainted. The workers even joked at us that they should paint us both purple since we're always together. It made us all laugh.

Some time, later in the night, Thomas fell asleep. I looked at him for a while whiling smiling.

As I think back, I realize how many adventures he and I had been through. How many times we had been so close to losing each other. I think back to everything we've been through. The laughs, the sad moments, the fights- everything. And while some things were less pleasant than others- I wouldn't change a thing.

Because everything that has happened, has led me to this moment.