THE JOKER
Now I don't know about you
I don't know what you can do
But I can tell you this is true
I don't want to deal with the New 52
Baby, it's a breeze
To see you look like Bleez
But less bloody
When you get sexy
HARLEY QUINN
I show more skin
Because there's less skin
On the face of my puddin'
But I have a question
Like Vic Sage
For you
Dick Grayson
How can you stop sin Bludhaven
Rocking bright crimson?
You mock the legend
Kandorian Kryptonian
They say you're secretly a crazy killer
But it's mythology you're murderin'.
THE JOKER
There was a time when I was all locked up
An evil genius waiting for my Clarice Starling
Til one day I saw not your face but just your chin and mouth
And I sang out "Batman, darling!"
The only life I have
The only joy I need
The only way for me to fall asleep at night
Is knowing I made Gotham bleed
And when my mouth is foaming
All over the rug I devour
I know you're in your cave somewhere
With your tights drying right by your shower
I may chew you and you may spit me out like Skoal
But Batman, my darling
We're just halves of a whole
HARLEY QUINN: Well that's all well and good, Mr. J, but why do you have to go it alone? Or kill everybody who works with you? Why are you Batman's primary antagonist? I've seen a lot of nature documentaries and I've never heard anything that suggests that clowns and bats are natural enemies. And besides, don't you need love in your life? I threw away a very promising career studying the criminally insane just to be with you.
THE JOKER: Hey, lady, if I wanted an old ball and chain, I'd have stayed at Black Gate!
There is a general crowd reaction from those gathered at that comment.
HARLEY QUINN: You know, Mr. J, it's times like these…I really love you.
HARLEY QUINN
You broke my heart
Just like you broke Jason Todd's back
But no matter how many times
You push me aside
Puddin' you know I'll be back
Just to see the way you put smiles on faces
It kills me
In a way more meaningful than the way it kills them
I look at the way you crash school buses into banks
The way you poison cosmetics for pranks
And all I can do
Is long for you
Deeper for you I am falling
If I were you
It'd be an odd sight
Because I'd see you as you see The Dark Knight
Mr. J, you're my darling