Author's Note: I would just like to say I do not own any of the characters of Divergent, Veronica Roth does. This is also my first FourTris fanfiction, so bare with me haha.
I always thought dying would be a less conscious experience; that when it was my time, I would just peacefully drift off, oblivious to what was going on, but that was not the case. As I felt the first bullet rip through my side, I realized my fate, and I felt the full spectrum of emotions pulse through me as I fell to the ground. The world around me seemed to slow down significantly, and flashbacks of my life began to flicker before my eyes. I see Tobias, staring at me with a bewildered look across his handsome face as he lifts me from the Dauntless net; I see my mother and father smiling as they pull their bed sheets taut in our Abnegation house; I see the landscape of Chicago spread out below me as I soar above it on the zip line from the Hancock building, my arms spread out like a bird, and I feel a pang in my chest when I realize that I will never see that again, because I know I'm going, that I have to leave this all behind and everyone I love. I wish I couldn't feel a thing, but I do as my life draws to a close.
I'm on the floor with a warm sticky substance pooling around my neck, and I look up to see David slumped in his wheelchair with blood soaking his chest. I struggle to turn my head and I see dark figures rushing towards me, but I am fading, and my vision clouds, and then it all goes dark.
The first thing I'm aware of when I wake up is the steady sound of a beeping heart rate monitor. My mouth is unbelievably dry, but I try to swallow anyways, and it is painful. My head feels heavy, and I creak it to the side and open my eyes. I am surprised when I see Tobias, asleep, leaning on the side of my bed with his head nestled in the crook of his strong arms. My Tobias, my Four. His closed eyes have large dark bags that sag beneath them. His dark brown hair is tousled and unkempt. I hadn't realized I had been crying until a tear dripped off my chin and fell on my hospital gown. I thought I had died, and these words hit me like a tidal wave, because as I lay here with the person I love at my side, I know that right here and right now, I am alive.
I shakily lift up my left arm and softly run my fingers through Tobias' hair. He stirs, and blinks his dark blue eyes, confused, before settling his focus on me. I see his face fall, his eyes grow wide before they begin to brim with tears, and he quickly unhooks his arms to embrace me. I weakly smile, and he stifles a sob as he presses his forehead to mine.
"Tris...yo- you're okay," he chokes out, his voice unstable.
"So it seems," I say. I stroke his hair with one hand and clutch his muscular back with the other, desperate to feel him, to be close to him. He was trembling, and I barely noticed his crying as it mixed with my own.
We stayed like that for awhile, clutching each other like there was nowhere else in the world we wanted to be.
"Tobias...what happened exactly?"
"You don't remember?" His forehead still resting on mine, he looks into my eyes.
"No, I mean... I thought I was dead." I bite my lip. He brushes the cold tears away from my cheeks with his thumb.
"You were shot," he pauses, struggling to get the words out, "and...and they said it looked like you weren't going to make it. God, Tris I lost it. I-I almost lost you," he stops, his words choking in his throat. I bring my hand up to the side of his face and rest it there. He continues, "Cara came into the lab and saw David had shot you, and she shot him with no hesitation. You were out for about 2 weeks. I've stayed with you the whole time; I couldn't leave your side in case you woke up. It was a miracle you responded well to the treatment." He shudders.
"Hey, I'm here now," I say as I gently bring his chin over to look at me. He smiles weakly with relief. "Is Caleb alright?" Suddenly, I remember my brother, and what I said before I went into the weapons lab instead of him. Caleb, I love you. "I love you too, Beatrice." If I don't survive, tell Tobias I didn't want to leave him. My heart aches as I remember, and I hold Tobias even tighter.
"He's okay. He's incredibly annoying, but he's doing okay." Tobias sighs into my collarbone. "He won't stop coming in to check on you; he'll probably be here in about a half hour if he keeps up with his current pattern." I laugh, but quickly stop because a sharp pain shoots up my side and into my chest.
"What is it? Are you okay?" Tobias asks with a worried look strewn on his face.
"Yeah I'm fine," I wince, "Just a little sore." I reach down and pull up my gown to examine my wounds, and there are some stitches holding together my injuries with some redness around the edges, but then I remember that I'm half exposed to Tobias. Blushing, I pull it back down. Even though we had sex the night before I went into the weapons lab and Tobias went back to Chicago, I found myself still feeling embarrassed about my bare form around him.
"I should call the nurse in to let her know you're awake; and to also check those stitches." Tobias says. He kisses my forehead and squeezes my hand, before he gets up to leave the room. Within a minute he is back with a nurse, and she hurries in.
The nurse does a routine check up, making sure my stitches aren't infected, and that my vitals are good. It takes a bit for her to give in but Tobias insists I be released from the hospital that day.
"I got us our own room," he whispers into my ear as we walk away from the hospital. I think my face flushes because Tobias gives me a reassuring smile.
"We'll finally get to be alone," I say. He grins again and leans in to kiss me. His mouth is warm and pliant, and it fills all the voids that were once empty. Heat spreads through me as I reach up into his hair and I deepen the kiss. His arms wrap around me and he pulls me into him, and I can feel the contours of the muscles in his chest and abdomen. I almost melt into him.
"I hate to do this," Tobias sighs, breaking from the kiss, "But I think it would be unfair if I just took you away to the room without at least saying hello to Caleb and the others." I nod my head. He takes my hand and leads me towards the dormitory. I feel eerie as I walk along the halls of the Bureau; ghosts of my past experiences linger among the air, both good and bad. People's who's memories have been wiped by the memory serum drift through the halls looking around like newborn baby that was just born into the world, oblivious to the war that could have happened.
We turn onto the familiar corridor that leads to the dormitory. I hear the mumble of subdued voices and we reach the room. The voices fade out to silence and I lift my head up to see all of the people I care about standing in frozen positions, eyes wide and facing me.
"Tris?"