Disclaimer: I do not own Castle or any of the characters associated with its production. This story is fiction and no gain will ever be sought by its author.
Summary: Castle and Beckett are spending a Saturday night at home in the loft. Rick starts pestering Kate about her "number" which leads to a serious discussion about many of the issues our favorite couple has never properly addressed. Angst, romance, and smut…this story is rated M for dialogue and sexual acts. Set Season 6 anytime after episode 3. Consider possible spoilers for all previous episodes.
Enjoy
"Kate, why won't you just tell me? How bad can it be?" Rick pleaded walking into their bedroom. He sunk down on the bed with an adorable, pouty expression.
"Castle, we have already had this conversation, you don't want to know", Kate smirked flopping down next to him on the bed.
"You asked me, if we were getting married, would I want to know about all the guys that you have been with? Well I really want to know," Castle whined.
Kate shifted nervously on the bed, pulling her legs up and resting her chin on her knees. "Why is this so important to you? Do you think that my number is going to be high enough to make you feel better about your playboy days?"
"Kate, I can't change my past, but I don't think it's as bad as you believe. I just wanted us to really know each other," Rick answered sincerely. "I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and there is nothing in your past that could ever change that." He shifted uneasily on the bed. He didn't want to force Kate to share her past experiences with him, but he was just so damn curious.
Kate looked at the expression on Castle's face. She knew he was never going to let this alone. She decided to use this to her advantage. There were a few things she has wanted to discuss with Castle and this was the perfect opportunity. "Alright, Castle. You want to have a little truth? I will answer your question, but you will have to answer all of mind. Deal?"
"So we are playing truth or dare, without the dares? Baring our deepest, darkest souls? Of course I'm in." He beamed with excitement, running all of the salacious details he could pry out of her in his mind.
Rolling her eyes, Kate said, "something like that. If we are doing this, it has to be 100% truthfulness. No making up fake stories and no dodging the tough questions. Still want to play Castle?"
"Yeah Kate, I think this is exactly what we need. I will get the snacks." Castle ran to the kitchen with the eagerness of a child on Christmas morning.
Twenty minutes later, Kate and Castle were lounging in their bedroom with a basket of popcorn and a couple of beers. Kate cleared here throat and whispered, "So I guess I should start by answering your question first."
Castle placed his hand on her cheek; "Kate, remember nothing you say here tonight will change the way I feel about you. Also, are we required to answer our own questions in return if they apply?"
"Why, are you worried that I may change my mind about marrying you?" Kate playfully punched Castle on the shoulder trying to mask her own anxiety.
"No, no. Just want to make sure I am following the rules. You know how much of a stickler I am for the rules", Castle smiled proudly.
"Ok, so Kate, how many guys have you been with?" He rolled onto his side staring into her eyes and smiling sheepishly.
"Fourteen. I was with two guys in high school, had a pretty serious boyfriend in college until my mom's murder and then I was kind of wild for awhile where I had a couple of one night stands and a few brief relationships. I dated a guy for about five months after graduating from the academy, but he never liked that I was becoming a cop so we never had a chance." Pausing briefly, she continued. "You know most of the rest. I was in a relationship with Will and rebounded with someone Lanie set me up with after we broke up. That leaves Demming, Josh, and you." She looked down at her hands in her lap, waiting nervously for Castle's reaction to her admission.
Castle sat smiling at Kate. "Castle, say something please."
"That is about what I figured, maybe a few more. Kate, you are thirty-three years old. I know you had experience before we got together. Don't worry, I love you." Castle kissed her lovingly, running his hands through her hair and softly kissing her forehead. "So you were never with Royce?"
"Royce?" Kate looked up surprised. "We were never together like that. I had very strong feelings for him and hoped that he would eventually see me in that way, but the timing never worked out. A lot like us actually."
Taking a deep breath, Caste said, "I guess that means it's my turn to share."
"Rick, I am not sure I really want to know." Kate paused, biting her lip, worry clearly present on her face.
"If you really don't want to know, I won't tell you. But I think you will be very happy with my answer. Either way, you're my last and that's what matters most."
"Ok, Rick. What is your number?" Kate whispered, the worry very clearly coming out in her voice.
"Twenty-six", Castle said apprehensively. "So do I pass or am I never touching you again?"
"Wow, definitely not what I was expecting." Kate smiled, taking his hands in hers. "I tried not to think too much about your past, but I am glad you told me."
"I guess that means my number was much lower than what you thought?
Kate laughed, "By several dozen."
"Several dozen" he coughed. "I think you forget that I was married and off the market for several years each time, plus I wasn't always this irresistible."
"No, I guess I just bought into the media portrayal of your playboy ways a little too much." Kate kissed him softly. "I am very glad to know the real you."
"Alright Castle; it is my turn to ask a question." Kate smirked, pretending like she was thinking hard; when in reality she knew her first question as soon as they started playing. "When did you decide to buy my engagement ring?"
Castle nodded, turning to face her, making sure she could look into his eyes when he spoke to her. "I have been waiting for you to ask me something along these lines. I wondered after proposing to you at the swings, after seeing your reaction, if you actually believed that I wasn't proposing on a whim to keep you in New York. Kate, I thought about buying you a ring at Valentine's Day, but I was afraid you weren't ready yet. When you planned the marvelous birthday murder surprise for me, I knew you loved me as much as I loved you and marriage was our next step. I started looking at rings and after our near-death bomb scare, I picked your ring out and started plotting the perfect evening. Cases and job offers got in the way of the plans, but it never changed my desire to marry you."
Kate sat quietly, taking in everything that he was telling her. She could see the truth in his eyes. The love he had for her, trying to make sure she understood that proposing to her was not an unplanned, spur of the moment decision.
"I love you, thank you for telling me." She kissed him softly. Rick put one hand on the back of her head, pulling her into his kiss. The kiss started sweet, but was turning passionate rather quickly. Rick pushed Kate back onto the bed, moving to hover over her. He leaned in, lightly kissing her neck, moving to her collarbone and running his left hand down her side. Rick moved his hand to the waistband of her jeans, when she suddenly pulled away from his kiss, placing a hand on her waistband. "Castle, as much as I would love to continue this, I am also very interested in continuing our conversation. I can't believe I am going to say this, but you were right. We need to get some truths out and this format seems to be working well for us."
Backing off of Kate, he turned and folded his legs Indian-style again. Taking a few deep breaths, trying to ignore the aroused state that their impromptu make out session had left him in; he asked "how old were you your first time?"
"Are all of your questions going to be related to me and sex?" Kate asked rolling her eyes and flicked a strand of hair behind her ear.
"No, there will be others, but you and sex are two of my favorite things." Rick smiled, wiggling his eyebrows and giving Kate his irresistible, jovial glint.
"Fine, I was sixteen and it was awful. He was my boyfriend; we had been together since the start of the school year. He started asking in January hoping that I would give in to him for Valentine's Day, but I wasn't sure I was ready. I told him that I needed some more time, but that we would soon. A couple of weeks later, I decided to just get it over with. It was awkward, painful, and brief. Within days, he started acting weird and we broke up shortly after."
She looked at Castle wondering what immature comment he must be holding back with that childish look on his face. "First times are meant to be awkward. I was seventeen and her name was Amy. I had just transferred to a new school and was trying out a new image. I thought it worked with Amy, until I found out why she was really interested. Being with the new, bad boy allowed her to get back at her ex-athlete boyfriend and drive her principal father crazy at the same time. We were together for a month or so, until her parents came home and found us on the couch; me with one hand up her shirt and the other unhooking my belt." He chuckled, remembering how he ran out of the house trying to put his shoes and shirt on at the same time.
Kate couldn't stop laughing as she pictured Castle tripping across the lawn and hopping down the street scared shitless. She turned to him, getting more serious, "if we hadn't caught you with the dead body, would you have called or come back after your summer in the Hamptons?"
Taking note of the serious tone in her voice, Castle made sure not to joke when answering her question. "I wanted to call, all summer. I left for the Hamptons to work on my book, but also to get some distance from you."
"From me, why? You even invited me to go with you."
"But, you turned me down and when I saw you kissing Demming, I knew just how strong my feelings for you had become. I needed to get away, try to suppress my feelings if there was any chance of us continuing to work together. You seemed happy and I didn't want to get in the way." Castle hung his head, reliving the hurt he felt when he saw Kate giggling with Demming and then kissing in the break room.
"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. It is actually pretty funny."
"Funny? Hurting me is funny?" Castle squealed shocked and confused.
"No, no, of course not. It's funny that you were hurting that summer too. When you left for the Hamptons, you left me…heartbroken."
"What? How?" You were with Demming, how did I break your heart? Castle looked utterly baffled.
Kate took several breaths, holding back tears that were threatening to spill out. It was unbelievable that after years, thinking about that afternoon could still deliver such an emotional response from her. "I turned you down, but then after talking with Espo and listening to my own heart, I broke up with Tom and was going to go with you to the Hamptons. I still wasn't sure what your feelings for me were, but I knew I wanted more than what we were and I was diving in."
"And I showed up with Gina. Kate, I'm so sorry. I never…I can't believe. All that time we could have been together. No wonder you were so cold and distant when I came back." Shaking his head, he was visibly disgusted with himself. "You had reinforced your wall because I hurt you like all the rest." Castle took Kate into his arms, kissing her hair and stroking her gently. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Rick, we both made mistakes back then. I was hurt, but I forgave you a long time ago. I wasn't clear with myself on what I wanted, how could you have known. Besides, who knows if we would have been as good together as we are now?"
"Yeah, but still…"
"Rick stop! You can't obsess over this, it was over three years ago and we are getting married now. Ok? It's your question."
"I just wanted to get you to tell me your number. I didn't realize this night was going to become so angst."
"Hey" she placed a hand on his shoulder. "One of the reasons we took so long, was because we didn't communicate our feelings. I was stuck behind my wall and you were too afraid to push. I don't want our marriage to be the same way." She smiled at him. "Let's keep going."
"What happened between you and Will?
"Well we dated for several months. It was getting pretty serious. It was the closest I had ever come till you. We had started looking at apartments together and had briefly touched on the idea of marriage. Then Will got a job offer in Boston and decided to move there. He assumed I would pick up and move with him. I couldn't go. Looking back, I know it's because I never really loved him enough. I was still stuck in my mother's case, was trying to prove myself as a detective and I wasn't ready for the commitment that following him to Boston would have been."
They both sighed, understanding that they were growing closer with this conversation, but the emotional toll it was taking was a burden. Looking at Castle, Kate asked the question she had been dying to ask since they got involved and probably even before. "Why did your marriages end?"
"Kate, they were mistakes. They didn't work, we got divorces. We have talked about this." Castle shifted on the bed, trying to avoid continuing on this topic.
"No we haven't really discussed this. Don't you think if I am planning on spending the rest of my life with you, I deserve to know why the other two women who intended to do the same opted out?" Kate was hurt that Castle wouldn't talk to her about this. She knew some of the details, but had never really gotten the full story. It worried her that he had been married twice and they both failed. She had been trying to suppress fears that they would end up the same, no matter how in love they were now. "I don't want to end up ex-wife number three." Kate whispered this revelation, wanting Rick to understand her fears, but also afraid to hurt him with her insecurities. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself, seeking any degree of comfort she could find.
"Kate, you will never be ex-wife number three. Our relationship is so much stronger than either of my past marriages." Sighing heavily he continued, "I don't like to discuss my marriages because they are reminders of my greatest failures. It certainly doesn't feel good knowing that I am going into marriage number three." He stood, pacing around the bedroom. "I wasn't in love with them. Meredith and I got married because she was pregnant with Alexis. I was young, trying to do the right thing. I intended for our marriage to be forever, even though deep down I knew I didn't really love her like I should. In the end, it didn't matter. Meredith was cheating on me. I knew about it and tried to ignore it for Alexis' sake. Then I came home one night and found her in bed with her director. We had a nasty argument; I told her that our marriage wasn't working. She couldn't continue to fuck other guys and be married to me. A few days later she served me with divorce papers and moved to LA."
He stopped pacing, a forlorn look on his face. He turned to Kate who was fighting back tears. She was trying to process what Castle had just told her. How could she cheat on her husband? How could she hurt him so badly? How could he not be enough for her? Kate walked to him wrapping her arms around his waist, looking squarely in his glistening blue eyes; she swallowed roughly, choking on her words. "I lo...love you. I will never cheat on you; I swear on my mother's grave that as long as we are together, you will be the only man who shares my bed. I don't know how Meredith could have been so stupid to let you go, but you are more than enough man for me." She crushed her lips to him passionately, trying to convey all of her feelings and promises into this one kiss.
As they pulled back from their kiss, Castle wrapped his arms around Kate and guided them back to the bed. "I guess I have one more ex-wife to explain." He chuckled slightly, hoping to lighten the mood for both his and Kate's sake. "Gina and I were friends, we worked well together, but we weren't in love. I wanted a mother figure for Alexis and Gina seemed like a good idea at the time. We fought constantly and I never really allowed her to get close to Alexis. Eventually, we realized that the lack of love, lack of intimacy, and the all the fighting wasn't worth it. So we got divorced." He shrugged, waiting to see if Kate had a response or if he needed to elaborate more.
"Thank you." She kissed him sweetly and shifted their bodies on the bed so that he was leaning against the headboard and she was sitting between his legs with her head against his chest. She intertwined their left hands and he softly stroked her right shoulder. "Thank you for opening up to me. I understand how difficult it was for you. As for the fact that this is marriage number three, of course I wish it wasn't the case, but I love you and as long as it's your last marriage then we are perfect."
"How did I ever get so lucky for you to love me?" He kissed her hair and played with her engagement ring on her finger.
"Your rugged handsomeness wore me down." She giggled, throwing him a look that conveyed just how much the sentiment was returned.
"Okay, one more kinda serious question and then I have some juicy ones for you." He wiggled his eyebrows and smirked. "When did you break up with Josh?"
"Before I was released from the hospital. I knew that our relationship wasn't going anywhere. Neither of us was willing to change our lifestyles for the other. Plus, I was falling madly in love with a certain author the entire time we were together. After you confessed your feelings to me in the cemetery, I knew I had to end things with Josh and work on rebuilding myself to pursue a relationship with you."
Rick sat quietly, absorbing this new information. Realizing that he had no respond, Kate continued the questions. "If things ended so badly with you and Meredith, why did you continue to sleep with her? Kate questioned him about his ex-sex because she was really confused. She had hurt him so badly and yet he was willing to have sex with her when she was in town.
"It wasn't always that way. It was in later years that we had our deep-fried twinkie experience. Meredith and I always had a very sexual relationship. That's how we ended up together in the first place, with Alexis." He grimaced after admitting this to Kate. "So if I was single when she was in town, we would end up in bed together, scratch the itch so to speak." He couldn't tell by the look on her face what she was thinking. "For the record, you are even better in bed, the best I have ever had." He smiled, hoping that if she was angry this revelation would ease the tension. "I wouldn't trade one night with you for twenty nights with Meredith."
"Relax Castle; I'm not mad at you. I was just curious how someone who hurt you so severely could become your fuck buddy. I guess I understand a little better now." She shook her head attempting to eliminate any further discussion on this particular topic. "Oh, and for the record, you are also the best that I have ever had." Kate just rolled her eyes at the look of elation that flooded Castle's face; increasing the size of his already enormous ego.
"My turn" Castle bounced his body happily on the bed. "Time for some fun questions. Where to start, where to start? Oh, since I now know that I am the best you have ever had, have you ever faked an orgasm?"
She turned her head slightly to look at Castle. "With you?"
"Seriously? You faked it with me?"
"No, I was asking if you were referring to us. I have never needed to fake it with you. You have always given me at least one, usually more depending on the activities."
"That makes me feel better." He turned his pouting face into a smile. "However, I wasn't actually referring to myself. I was asking about your previous lovers."
"Yes"
"Care to elaborate?"
"No."
"Kate" he whined. "We are being truthful here."
"I was truthful here, you asked if I have ever faked it with a past lover and I told the truth."
"Fine, way to evade the meat of the question." Castle pouted. He wanted desperately for her to say that she had faked it with Tom or Josh. It would be a small victory for the suffering their relationships caused him.
"If you wanted to know specifically, you should have just asked. I'm sure I faked it with anyone I slept with multiple times. But, I'm sure you want to hear me say it so, yes I faked orgasms with Josh. Are you satisfied?"
"Completely" he beamed from ear to ear.
"What is the weirdest thing you have ever done sexually?
"Nice one Kate" He pondered this for a moment. He had some interesting locations, but had never really been into anything really weird. "You know I'm not into anything really kinky. I once let a girl tie licorice around my cock and then eat it off. She was always trying to eat food off my body and…not finishing that story. Actually, the weirdest thing was probably with you."
"With me? We haven't done anything weird. Handcuffs and whipped cream are not weird."
"No, but handcuffed together with a stuffed tiger watching us is kinda weird." He raised his eyebrows waiting for her response.
"Hey that was all you Castle. I was fine with the handcuffs, but you insisted on having that stupid, giant tiger sitting next to the bed. It really freaked me out a bit."
"The sexual tension in that basement was extremely high. Even with the tiger there, I think if I had initiated it, you totally would have gone for it. This was the safer way to experiment." Kate just rolled her eyes.
"Ok fine. Since you didn't enjoy the tiger, what else haven't you enjoyed? Do you like going down on me or do you feel like you need to return the favor?" Castle asked both jokingly and seriously. He was a little afraid now that their sex life may not be everything Kate liked or wanted. They didn't do kinky any shit and they certainly had plenty of sex which he had always thought she enjoyed, but now he was somewhat unsure of himself.
"Castle, when have I ever done anything that I didn't want to do?"
"Probably never." He answered quietly, still a little unsure.
"I don't give you blowjobs because I feel like I need to return the favor. I do so because I like pleasing you and making you feel the same breathtaking sensations that you give to me every time we make love."
"I just don't want you to feel like you have to do anything you're uncomfortable with." He was extremely serious in his statement, this much she could tell.
"Where is this coming from?" Kate wasn't really sure why he was so insecure all of a sudden. She had given him numerous blowjobs since they got together. From her standpoint their sex life was amazing and he has always been a very considerate and caring lover.
"I know we were joking about the tiger, but I just wanted to make sure you weren't uncomfortable with anything we did." He pulled his arms around her waist tighter and kissed her hair.
Kate turned to face him, gently rubbing her hand over his cock. He immediately bucked his hips and gasped. "What are you doing?"
"Babe, I enjoy your cock, very much. I'm going to prove to you how very much I enjoy it right now."
"You don't have to do…ahhhh" She continued to graze his cock from the outside of his jeans. She could feel him hardening and couldn't wait to release him. She slowing unzipped his jeans and tugged his boxers down with them. He was already pretty hard, but she started stroking him, licking the underside of his cock from base to tip. She kneaded his balls in her hand and slowly began working on his engorged shaft. Every time she worked him she was amazed at how big and hard he got. "Uhh…ahhhh, that feels so good." She moved her mouth up and down his cock, licking and sucking in a tantalizing motion. Rick fisted the sheets and tried to keep is hips from bucking, but the sensations she was providing were so incredible. "Baby, so goooood…that feels so good." She relaxed her throat and took him in as far as she could go. He was too long to go all the way, but she worked him in as far as she could go. "You are so amazing, I love you." He moved his fingers through her hair, taking care not to hold her in position instead allowing her to work her magic on him. As he started gasping, she worked her way to the tip of his cock, brushing her tongue lightly over his head and again sucking and humming vibrations on him. "I'm going to cum…I can't hold it much longer." She gripped him more firmly and flicked her tongue on the underside of his tip and he let go. He groaned, "Ohhhh…baby, Kateeeeeee." He was huffing, riding the waves of his release. She continued to milk him, pumping a few times to make sure he finished. She crawled back up his body and cuddled into his side.
"How could I not enjoy doing that?" She gave him a longing; sensual look and he understood she was telling the truth. Rick pulled his boxers back on and they stayed cuddled together and silent. They both knew that the conversation was going to continue, but they wanted to bask in the love that was seeping from their bodies in this moment.
"What is the longest you have gone without sex?" Kate was curious about this question. She hadn't been with anyone for over a year before Castle and there were several times where she went a few months between partners. Since they had gotten together though, they could barely last a couple days. The six weeks they were apart when she was in D.C. and he was on his book tour were unbearable. Although, the night he showed up at her apartment, they certainly made up for it, many times.
"Seventeen months." He answered almost proudly. She was surprised by his answer, but also by how relaxed he was by this admission.
"Wow, seventeen months. I thought our six week break killed you, I can't imagine…seventeen months. When?
"Between Gina and you."
"You weren't with anyone from the time you broke up with Gina until we slept together?"
"No" he said matter of factly. "Who did you think I slept with?"
"You told me you didn't sleep with Natalie, but I figured there had to have been someone in between. What about Jacinda?"
"That was nothing. We had a few lunches and dinners. I only brought her around to try and hurt you like I was when I overheard you say you remembered. I was waiting for you, I didn't want anyone else."
She turned and leaned up to kiss him. "I can't believe you waited seventeen months for me. I can't believe after seventeen months our first time was that great. You should have cum as soon as I touched you." He laughed, "You have no idea how true that statement almost was."
"How much does Lanie know about me, sexually? Castle knew women liked to talk about their partners. He was pretty content with his prowess, but it was a little awkward going to the morgue thinking that Lanie could know as much about him as any previous lover.
"Relax Castle. We talked about our lovers a lot in the past, but not so much recently. Mostly because I don't want details about Espo and I didn't really want to share you."
"You haven't bragged about me at all?" He fanned hurt.
"She knows that you are well-endowed, but not the specifics and she is also aware that you have many talents in the bedroom. Hell, the only specifics I gave her was that most of the time you have more stamina than me, you're always up for another round." Rick was happy that Lanie knew he was a good lover, but he was also relived that Kate didn't share details about their intimate moments. He really loved that it was something just they shared.
"So we established you waited seventeen months, but how many women were you with after you met me?"
"Four, my two ex-wives, Elle Monroe, and a one night stand shortly after we started working together."
"What did Kyra say to you when she left the break room?"
Kate laughed having forgotten about Kyra's declaration to her. "She told me that you were all mine. I guess she was right."
"When you asked me out after the Tisdale case, I wanted to say yes so badly, but I knew you were a heart break waiting to happen. If we had gone out that night we would have slept together. Would it have been a one night stand?"
"Honestly, probably. Maybe not just one night because we are fantastic in bed, but it wouldn't have gone much further. You turning me down intrigued me. It's what made me want to get to know you better. With the intention of getting you in to bed, of course."
"Of course." She rolled and eyes and smiled.
"If I would have kissed you in our hotel room in LA, how far would it have gone?"
Kate shifted closer to Rick, running her hand up his arm, stroking his jaw line with her thumb. "Sitting on that couch, I wanted nothing more than to kiss you and see what would happen." She paused allowing Rick to take in her admission. "I knew we would make love and that is why I retreated to my room. I was still with Josh and I'm not a cheater, but I don't think anything would have stopped me that night. I actually opened the door and came back out to you…but you were already in your room." She looked up and saw both surprise and love in his eyes.
"I wanted to kiss you in the worst way that night. It took all my willpower to not take you right there on the couch. But, when you went into your room I knew it was the right decision. You were with Josh and I wouldn't have felt right if anything had happened that night." He pulled her in for a soft kiss, stroking his hand through her hair.
"When did you first realize you were falling in love with me? Was it in LA?" Kate leaned up and returned his kiss.
"I was definitely in love with you before LA, but that night I realized just how difficult it was going to be to continue to hide my feelings." He planted a warm kiss to her temple, hugging her close to him, pulling the bed covers up over their bodies. "I think a part of me fell in love with you the night you walked into my book launch, but when you let me come back after looking into your mother's case I was pretty sure I had real feelings for you. I knew for sure when I was standing outside your apartment and it exploded. I have never felt that level of fear or regret in my life." She smiled and caressed his cheek. "I knew I had feelings for you for a long time. I tried to ignore them after the Hamptons incident, but they continued to grow stronger no matter how hard I fought them. I realized I was falling in love when I was lying freezing in your arms. I thought I was going to die that night and yet I was content, cuddled in your warmth."
"I thought we were going to die that night too. I wanted so badly to tell you how I felt before we died. Then I woke up and you were huddling with Josh and our moment was lost again." The feelings of disappointment were still noticeable on his face.
Rick was the first to break the solemn that had overtaken them. Dragging up all of these old feelings was taking its toll on him. He needed to get back to the more lighthearted discussions. "Who were you more jealous of, Natalie Rhoades or Serena Kaye?"
"I wasn't jealous of either of them" She tried to lie convincingly, but with little success.
"Come on, Kate. I know it bothered you when both of them took an interest in me. You were practically marking your territory." He let out a sound almost like a giggle. Kate found this incredibly adorable and couldn't deny him the truth. "I guess I was more jealous of Serena."
"Serena? Why?" Castle had a dumbfounded expression on his face. He was sure that she had to have been jealous of Natalie; she was a movie star after all and was playing her, well Nikki.
"I was jealous of Natalie, but I really didn't have any right to be, I was with Josh. Besides, with Natalie it would never have been more than a brief fling. Serena had more personality. I wasn't ready to give you what you needed and I was afraid that if she was interested and you were interested, it might have been more serious." Rick nodded in understanding.
"How were you originally planning on proposing?" Kate asked wondering if there would have been a helicopter ride in her future if not for the D.C. job.
"I had several ideas running through my mind. I knew I wanted to make it special for you. There would have been a romantic dinner, a walk through Central Park, maybe a carriage ride. My intention was always to propose to you at the swings." Her eyes lit up and Kate fell a little more in love with him. "I know it wasn't exactly how you wanted it to be, but the swings were perfect; you're perfect." She kissed him, toying with the hair at the back of his neck. Rick moaned into the kiss, sending a bolt of electricity through Kate's body.
Pulling back from their embrace, Rick decided to ask another serious question. He glanced down to his lap, turning towards Kate and releasing a deep sigh, he asked "did you really believe that I wouldn't have slept with Christina Coterra if you hadn't walked in on us?"
"Deep down I did, but on the surface there was some insecurity left. I wondered if maybe you were bored with me and already looking for an out." She ducked away, trying not to look Rick in the eyes. She knew now that her insecurities about him were unfounded and was slightly ashamed to admit that she ever had them.
Rick hugged her tightly. "I never would have slept with her. That date was only to try and throw people off our trail. I already knew that you were it for me. And for the record, I will never get bored with you. You are beautiful, fun, sexy…extraordinary. I love you." She gave him the megawatt smile that melted his heart every time. She snuggled closer placing her head on his chest.
"How about you Rick? Were you jealous of Erik Vaughn because of all he has accomplished or because you really thought I might be interested in him?
"He was just so impressive and he was clearly interested in you. I was afraid you were going to wake up and realize that I wasn't good enough for you and somebody better was available and waiting." The insecurity was very evident in his expression.
Kate took Rick's hands into hers and peered into his deep blue eyes. She was beginning to fully understand the toll that Meredith's deceit had taken on a man with all he had to offer and an ego the size of his; he should not be worried about his value to her. "Rick, listen to me very carefully. You are everything that I need. I could never do better than you and I have no intention of trying." She placed her hands on his chest and gently rubbed circles across the expanse. Tears were threatening to spill from both their eyes as they realized the true depths of their love.
Again trying to be the one to lighten the mood, Rick dug into the topic of sex. She could tell that this question was going to be interesting from the utter look of pure glee on his face. "Did you ever think of me when you got yourself off?" He snickered extremely proud of himself.
Her eyes bulged in shock from his boldness. She should have known that a question like this was possible from him. He has been obsessed with her, page 105, and her bathtub since he gave her the book. Taking her bottom lip into her mouth and turning her head away from him she mumbled, "I may have a few times." Blush crept onto her cheeks.
He groaned, his eyes darkening and a sudden way of arousal seeping into his veins. Fantasizing about being with Kate was a favorite pastime of his for several years before they became a couple, but knowing that she thought of him when giving herself pleasure left him highly aroused. "That is so hot" He smiled, kissing her passionately.
"I know that you thought about me. There are several sex scenes that are proof of these thoughts." He started to protest her insinuation that the book scenes were about them, but he decided that there was no fooling her.
Kate decided to have a bit of fun herself. "Did I make you harder when we danced undercover or when I got out of the pool in LA?"
Rick's mouth gaped open remembering both events. If he wasn't hard then, he sure was thinking about those wonderful moments now. "Surprisingly, the superb poolside display did not have an embarrassing effect on me. However, after our couch discussion, I retreated to my room with a serious problem that I needed your help to solve." He grinned from ear to ear. You have no idea the effect you had on me. Still do. "Dancing with you undercover, the dress you were wearing, you driving my Ferrari…ughh, God was I hard."
Kate giggled, "Seems like the memories are having the same effect." She lightly rubbed him over his boxers. He quickly grabbed her hand; not ready to continue these evenings festivities quite yet.
"When did you first want to kiss me and when would you have kissed me if we had been alone?"
"I wanted to kiss you after that first case. When you asked me out, you had that adorable smirk on your face and that sexy stubble."
"You like stubble. I can grow stubble." He practically squeaked in excitement. "I can start tomorrow."
"Maybe, I don't know. I am kinda partial to seeing your ruggedly handsome face. It fit your immature, playboy image at the time, but not now." She placed a quick peck to his upper lip. "Besides, I like kissing you too much and I don't want to get all itchy."
He laughed. "How about the other kiss?"
"There were many times. During the vampire case when you told me I smelled like cherries, I almost kissed you until the guys interrupted. I definitely almost kissed you after the bank explosion. I was so happy to see you alive and my wall was nowhere in sight at that point.
"Then my mother spoke." He pouted cutely.
"Speaking of your mother. Has your mother or Alexis ever caught you in the act? Or was our first morning the closest?"
"Alexis has never actually walked in on me in the act. She did come into our bedroom shortly after Gina and I had finished, back when we were married. She was probably about twelve. I could tell by the look on her face, even though she didn't see anything, she knew what we had just done." He shook his head. "It was horrifying. It was months before I would have sex while Alexis was home or awake."
"How about your mother?"
"Yeah, mother walked in on me and Meredith a couple years ago during one of our twinkie escapades. We were going at it on the couch, completely uncovered and she waltzes into the loft." Rick went white, the embarrassment of the memory being relived all over again. "The worst part wasn't that my mother saw us in the act, but for weeks after she tried to give me pointers on my technique so I would deliver award-worthy performances." He made a contorted face and his whole body shook.
Kate was laughing hysterically at Rick's description. "So I have Martha to thank for your brilliant technique in the bedroom. I would indeed thank her personally if it wouldn't result in me dying from extreme embarrassment."
"While I am very flattered that my technique is so brilliant, my mother's pointers are not to be thanked. I can read you perfectly. I know exactly what you want, and how and when you want it," Rick stated in a gruff, sex-laden voice.
Kate seductively whispered into his ear, "What do I want right now?"
He turned and shocked her with his response, "to answer another question."
"I think we have had enough questions for tonight. I think its time to practice our techniques." Kate started to run her fingers down his chest. She nipped at his pulse point, moving up to his ear lobe and gently sucking.
"I have three more questions and then I will indulge you with my brilliant technique for the rest of the night."
"The rest of the night, huh? I just might have to hold you to that."
"Ok, three more questions."
"What do you think was our best time?"
"Man, Rick there have been so many amazing nights. How can I pick one?"
"If Lanie asked you when the best sex you ever had was, what would you tell her?"
"After your birthday party. I knew that I hadn't told you in words that I loved you. I hoped that after the party and making love to you that night that you would understand."
"I understood Kate. Even before that night, but any doubt that I had about whether you felt the same was erased that night." He kissed her with unbridled passion.
"Did you talk to my dad before you proposed?"
Rick laughed as he remembered his conversation with Jim. "I did speak with your dad. I didn't outright ask for his permission. I told him how much I loved you and how I was planning on asking you to become my wife. He asked me what the hell took me so long. I told him that his daughter was very complicated and made me work extra hard for her heart. I assured him that you are absolutely the love of my life and I would do anything to make you happy for the rest of your life. He gave me his blessing."
"I wondered if he knew about your proposal. When I talked to him about the D.C. job he asked why I thought I had to choose between you and the job. Looking back it made me feel like he knew something I didn't."
"Do you regret how D.C. turned out?"
"I regret that I essentially failed. Getting fired sucked, but it brought me back here with you. I never would have been happy working in shades of grey. I need justice and that wasn't happening in D.C. The opportunity was incredible and I am very glad I gave it a shot. I would have woke up one day and hated myself if I hadn't at least given it a try." Her answer was completely honest and sincere. She was so happy to be back in New York with the man she loved and working with her friends again, but there was still a bit of regret about how it ended.
Rick tensed suddenly. "Last question." He took a few deep breaths and prepared to ask the second most important question he has ever asked Kate. "Do you want children?"
Kate looked at Rick, a mixture of fear and love in both there eyes. She stammered as she began to answer, "I...I…Do you?"
"I asked you first."
"After my mom died, I put most aspects of my life on the backburner. I hadn't really thought about the possibility of having a child for years. I was never with a man who I could see myself marrying, let alone raising a child."
"What about now? You have a man you see yourself marrying. Do you see us raising any children?" Rick tried to keep his voice emotionless. He wanted to now Kate's real feelings on the topic before she knew his.
"I would really like to have a baby with you." Kate smiled, locking her left hand with his. "Having a family with you would be amazing. You are the greatest father a kid could ever want and any child of ours would be so blessed."
Rick beamed with excitement. "You have made me the happiest man alive, again. I always wanted more children, but I never found the right woman. You are going to make an incredible mother" He pulled her overtop of him kissing her soundly.
"That was three questions, are you finished?"
"One more" He chirped.
"Seriously, Rick." She groaned.
"Can I make love to you now?"
Kate flipped them over so that he was hovering above her. She grazed the side of his face with her hand. Slowly she began to open the buttons on his shirt. He was already lacking his jeans from their earlier activities. The evidence of his arousal was clearly visible through his boxers.
Rick pulled Kate's shirt over head. He immediately kissed her breasts, tweaking her nipples through the fabric of her bra. As she bucked her hips into his groin, he let out a sexy growl. In one swift motion he rid Kate of her jeans and panties.
Rick ran his hand up the inside of her thighs. He parted her folds to find her glistening with arousal. "You are incredible." He left out a husky moan as he went in for a taste. Flicking his tongue against her clit she bucked her hips. Rick moved one arm over her stomach to hold her still while be slowly began working on creating the sensations that drove Kate wild. Placing two fingers into her wet heat he slowly built a rhythm that left Kate gasping beneath him. Sucking her clit into his mouth he began pumping faster, curling his fingers inside of her. She let out a loud moan of pleasure as he worked her closer to the edge. Lapping at her clit with his tongue, he gradually added more pressure until she was falling over the edge, wave after wave of her orgasm sending jolts throughout her body and sending her hot juices all over Rick's hand. Kate screamed his name and shook until the last wave subsided.
Kate gradually regained control of her senses to see Rick licking his fingers clean. He rose to his knees and again parted her thighs. This time he placed his straining erection at her entrance allowing her wetness to coat his arousal. In one swift movement he was deep inside her. Even after all the times they had been together, he still left her with an incredible fullness she had never experienced before. After giving her a second to adjust, Rick began a rhythm that was slow, gradually picking up the pace until Kate was moaning with pleasure. He rocked his hips, going deeper and harder with every thrust.
"Ohhh God, Rick I'm so close." She rived beneath him. Reaching between them he added pressure to her clit sending her barreling over the edge. Her orgasm pulled him with her. As her inner walls squeezed his pulsing cock, he couldn't hold out any longer. He exploded his hot cum deep inside her, riding the waves of pleasure until he was completely empty.
Rick rolled off of Kate and pulled her close to his side. Somewhat breathless Rick gasped, "I don't know how…it gets more extraordinary every time."
Kate smiled back at him, her eyes filled with the sexiest combination of love and lust Rick had ever seen. "Babe, that's our magic. It will never change."
"I love you so much. I am really glad we talked like this tonight."
"I love you too Rick"
Rick raised his eyebrows, "ready for baby practice…round 2?"
Kate grabbed the covers with one hand and his cock with the other. Yes, this was going to be an all night practice session.
The end
A/N:
So this was my first attempt at writing fan fiction and my first attempt at smut. I tried to touch on all the major issues that our favorite couple seems to have avoided throughout the show and threw in some fun and sexy conversations as well. As far as their numbers I tried to make it believable to fit their personalities. For Beckett I know there has been some debate about Royce and Demming. I decided to go 50/50. For my purposes Demming seemed like the better fit.
Hopefully you enjoyed reading this, as much as, I enjoy reading everyone else's. All spelling and grammar mistakes are mine. Hopefully not too many, I read through several times. Let me know what you think, maybe I will give it another shot.