Why Shadow Fears Fan Girl Writers
This is an idea I got while painfully reading over my first story. Shadow was so OOC in it and the story line was just so silly, the story seemed more like a parody. So I decided to write a parody which will show 'Why Shadow Fears Fan Girl Writers.' I'm one of the Fan girl writers he fears the most because Shadow get's these awful dilemmas to go through in my stories. Like this one…
This is a story about Shadow the Hedgehog. It takes place after he defeated Black Doom not taking into account anything that happened in the games after it, even though it's being written over half a decade after it. Shadow stood at one of the windows of Space Colony ARK as he does in the beginning of a lot of the author's stories, thinking of how lonely he was but not simply doing chaos control to go down to the planet below and find some friends.
After a long battle and hard life Shadow thought his troubles were over in fact, they had only just began. "No…. just no! You can't do that. I've already had my moment, I've saved the world and gone through my fair share of suffering, it's over now! Its over!" Shadow yelled. There was silence. "Now… if you'll excuse me, I'm going to live my life… and you can't stop me!" Shadow growled and pointed up to where the author was looking down on him and left the room.
To start his 'retirement' from suffering and adventure he decided to take a look around the ARK. It had been a long time since he'd seen the place and knew there were some unseen area he could explore. He came to a dark area, all of the lights had gone out in this place and instead of finding the power switch to turn the lights on Shadow went in with a small lit candle and went far into the dark corridor.
It was then Shadow started to feel abnormally cold yet he decided to go on, getting colder and colder. Then he saw an ominous glow in the distance. Feeling afraid, even though he was the Ultimate Life form who claimed he never felt fear, he walked towards it to discover the source of the light. "Why do I feel so nervous… so afraid… I'm never afraid." Shadow trembled. "When I get my hands on that author for making me act like a pathetic fool…" he grumbled.
He then stopped in his tracks when he saw what was making the light, it was a ghost… the ghost of Maria. A tear fell from Shadow's eyes when she saw her but then he shook it off in anger. "No way! This has been done too many times! Brining Maria back from the dead isn't exactly that original, is it?" Shadow yelled in anger.
"Shadow…" Maria said happily when she saw him.
"Hello Maria…" Shadow sighed and continued with his rant. "Also, to bring her back as a ghost so that I can't give her a wonderful reunion hug is just… cruel." he grumbled.
"Shadow, it's been so long, what have you been doing all of this time?" Maria asked kindly, floating in her misty ghost form.
"Well… as soon as you helped me escape… I was captured by GUN." Shadow said quickly in an irritated voice. Maria gasped, she was going to complain but Shadow cut in. "When I was freed 50 years later, not so long ago I took revenge against the humans. Now I know that was against your wish but later realised that and put everything right again. I lost my memory in the process, I just got it back- let's move on!" Shadow rushed and walked back down the corridor, Maria followed him confusedly.
"Shadow… you're not being very nice… what happened to you?" Maria asked, getting tears in her eyes.
"Fanfiction… that's what happened to me." Shadow growled. "I'm sorry Maria… but your return is just… predictable… I think we should just move on from this.. Try again Lucy." Shadow said, looking up again.
Suddenly, Maria was gone and Shadow felt uneasy. "Oh no… what could you possible come up with now?" Shadow said, looking around for his next challenge.
"Hedgehog, it is time for the ultimate revenge!" Shadow heard Black Dooms voice boom and echo. Shadow's tail went between his legs and he tensed up. Black Doom then appeared at the end of the room.
"This… couldn't be worse. I've only just defeated Black Doom. I know villains tend to return… but not this soon… he's not Eggman, who returns every five minutes, give me something new to deal with." Shadow complained. Black Doom held out his hand as though he was trying mind control. "Don't bother with that, that power no longer works on me-" then Shadow choked up and fell to the floor in agony. "But my immune…" he rasped from the floor in pain.
Maria popped her head in from around the corner. "Do you want my help now Shadow?" She asked in an 'I told you so' voice. Shadow let out another hiss of pain and said,
"No!" then cried out in pain again. Black Doom then made a swiping motion with his other hand and sent a swift strike attack. It his Shadow, sending him darting into the window, smashing it into exactly a dozen pieces. Why a dozen? I dunno, it sounds good. Shadow then cried out as he was sucked down to the planet below but he was in space so no one could hear him screaming the words; "You can't do this… it was done in Sonic unleashed, Lucy Labrador you copy cat!"
But the author took no notice… she didn't care it never happened, in fact she had the idea before the game was even released and again, she was not taking any notice of what happened in those games.
A while later on earth, Mobius or wherever it is, in the field where Shadow was once standing by the tree in his game, Shadow was plummeting to the ground yelling "I'm not Sonic, he's the one who falls from the sky a lot, not me!" He then landed in the tree making leaves fall out of it. He then fell to the floor, covered in splinters and leaves. Shadow felt dizzy but once he got all of his senses back he noticed a couple of GUN soldiers running towards him. "Just my luck…" Shadow groaned, struggling to get up and run.
As he was trying to get away he began to think to himself. 'How come I'm alive and conscious… the last time I fell from the ARK it caused my near death and amnesia.. Is makes no sense at all to be perfectly fine.'
Shadow made a dash for freedom, "This is getting out of hand… seriously… why does Lucy Labrador have me one the run from GUN all of the time… even though I was supposed to join them after my game!" Shadow raged to himself while running away from the soldier who were keeping up with him even though he had super speed. "None of this makes sense!" Shadow cried out and zoomed off into the city.
After several hours of chasing which was a waste of time when the solider could have in fact, shot Shadow at first sight of him, Shadow turned around to face them, an exhausted look on his face. The two soldiers stopped with the guns pointed at him. "I'm too tired…" Shadow groaned. "Even-though-I'm-The-Ultimate-Life Form-screw-you-Lucy-Labrador." he then coughed out. "I surrender…" he added and fell to his knees with his hands up.
He was then picked up by the soldiers to be taken to GUN HQ. However, Shadow got a different idea. "Sudden burst of energy, I change my mind!" he yelled all of a sudden, broke free and ran down the pavements, bumping into a lamppost and knocking himself unconscious… outside of a Police Station.
When Shadow awoke he realised that he had been taken in by the Police, he was now in a little cell in the Station. "What's up with me today. Seriously." Shadow said to himself, getting up off the bed that he was laying on.
One of the guards came to check on him. "Please let me out… I haven't done anything." Shadow exclaimed, running over to the bars urgently.
"You'll be out… when The Commander of GUN comes to take you to GUN Headquarters." The guard teased.
"Couldn't you have brought me there In the first place… while I was unconscious… there were soldiers after me… they could have taken me there." Shadow said, feeling as though he couldn't take it any more, the logic of the story was completely, well, not even there.
"The Commander will be arriving soon." The guard said and left. Shadow had to wait for The Commander to arrive, whoever that would be. Shadow sat on the bed and waited impatiently for him to arrive. When he did get there, Shadow's eyes widened.
"It's you… you tried to kill me when I had memory loss!" Shadow exclaimed. He then got up and rushed under the bed to hide from him. "Why am I doing this… you know where I am." Shadow said and popped his head out from under the bed nervously. The Commander was let in the cell, he got down and dragged Shadow out by his ankles.
Shadow sat on the floor in a rotten mood. "Shadow, you are guilty of such horrific crimes. Millions of people died during the Black Arms invasion because you decided to help Black Doom." The Commander said to him angrily.
"But you don't take into mind who stopped Black Doom in the end." Shadow grumbled. "But of course you wouldn't… I would never be given a reward… that's nowhere near as interesting as me being chased day and night." Shadow sneered under his breath.
"Look at you… you're pure evil… I can see it in your eyes." The Commander hissed.
"Is it because they're red." Shadow asked, sighing,
"Partly, I guess." There was silence. The Commander looked at Shadow, as though he was expecting him to say something.
"Oh no… I'm not going to say it… no way. I'm out of character enough without having to way that line…" Shadow said, folding his arms. Shadow then felt a zap from above. He cried out in pain and shock.
"SAY IT!" they heard a feminine voice called. Shadow sighed looking down the floor. He cleared his throat and said;
"Well… it matches my… fur…" Shadow groaned. "Seriously… who says that apart from girls." he said under his breath.
Shadow was then given an extra set of inhibitor rings to put on so that his power would be limited even more and was taken out to a van belonging to GUN that would take him somewhere else. They arrived outside another building. "What is this place?" Shadow asked as he was taken out in hand cuffs that would ensure that he wouldn't run away… somehow…
"This is a science block… we're going to run a few tests…" The Commander teased as him and some soldiers brought Shadow into the building, surrounding him back, front and both sides of him. "You're getting a DNA test…"
Shadow gulped, he didn't want them to take tests on him. "Is this… really necessary?" Shadow asked nervously.
"Yes, we need to find out exactly what you are." The Commander said as they brought Shadow into one of the labs. There were needles on the tables by the microscopes and other machines. Shadow began to feel even tenser, he did not like the look of this and he didn't like needles.
Shadow was made to sit on a stool and one of the scientists in the room took a blood sample from the veins in Shadow's arm. Shadow gave a hiss of pain, they had not been gentle. They when put the blood sample into a machine to be analysed. Shadow waited nervously for the results, he knew what it would be, and they would know that he was related to Black Doom.
All of the matches came up on the computer screen, it said; SONIC! They all went silent until Shadow started screaming. "No, it can't be! This has to be a joke!" Shadow cried out, trying to get up and run out of the room but he was held back.
"We'll have to clean out the machine… we've been taking a few tests on others recently… it must have been corrupted or something… bare with us Shadow." One of the scientists. After the machine was cleaned and sorted out, the real result came up on the screen. BLACK DOOM.
Shadow gulped, he knew he was done for. The Commander now knew he had Black Arms DNA. Shadow decided not to kick up a fuss. "This is a Lucy Labrador story… no matter how hard I try I'm not going to escape… might as well give myself up." Shadow sighed to himself and let the soldiers take him away.
Shadow knew he would be locked up for a long time, or The Commander would at least plan to keep him locked up 'forever'. There was no way out of it… at least he wasn't related to Sonic.
I know Humour isn't my strong point… going from angst to humour is a big jump! Is it funny or does it just point out the silly little flaws in my first story and make you come to realisation rather than make you laugh?
Lucy Labrador