INT. IN LARRY'S HOUSE - DAY
Larry and Loretta lying in their Bed and sleeping as the Doorbell rings and rings
Loretta screams
LORETTA Ey yo Leon open the fucking Door you dirty Motherfucker
Leon who sits on the Couch and watching Football screams
LEON Yo i fucken open the motherfucking door you ugly Bitch
and stand up to open the Door and it's Richard Lewis
LEON Ey yo R.L. my Man whats up wanna come in watching Football and drink some Beer
RICHARD Hey Leon That sound terrific but i don't have Time we must be in One Hour at the Airport its Larry allready finish?
LEON No
RICHARD Did he packed allready?
LEON No
RICHARD Did he showered allready?
LEON No
RICHARD What the Fuck he is doin all the Day
LEON Sleeping
RICHARD What a Schmock I go wake him
Richard Lewis go into the House and walk upstairs Larry and Loretta sleeping peacefully and cuddle together until Leon and Richard Lewis crash into the Room
LEON Ey yo L.D. wake up you horny Motherfucker
RICHARD Larry wake up whats the Matter with you we miss out Plane
Larry wake up
LARRY What Plane?
RICHARD What Plane? The Plane to New York City!
LARRY What do we want in New York?
RICHARD What do we want in New York? The Woody Allen Movie we work at!
LARRY Oh i remember i make me ready
Larry stands up and walk to the Bathroom shortly after them Loretta stands up to and walk to the Bathroom wairing a neglice and have lazy hair smilin to Richard Lewis he smilin back and falls shortly after that back in his neurotic Phase
RICHARD Larry hurry up Eugene Levy is waiting for us at the Airport Burger King
Meanwhile the Kids are wake up too and ran to the Kitchen where Aunt Rae making Waffles and Eggs with Beacon for Breakfast Leon sits allready at the Table eating a Crossaint drinking a Orange Juice and reading the Newspaper Richard Lewis join them and ask
RICHARD Whats with the Beer?
LEON Yo you get em Keysha handle Uncle Richard some Beer
Larry is now finish and he ran the Steps down grab some waffles and say to Richard Lewis
LARRY Lets go Lewis
kiss Loretta on the Back and say to the Blacks
LARRY Bye to the Blacks, watch my House and promise me No Houseparty
LEON Allright L.D.
LARRY Can i really trust you?
LEON Yo
Larry looks at Leon to found out if he lying
LARRY Ok i believe you
LEON Allright L.D. show that Apple Pussys from which Flava L.D. from L.A. is
LORETTA And then i show that Apple Bitches the Flava of my Fist
Richard Lewis interrupts
RICHARD Sorry to disturb this Conversation but we must hit the Plane the Shuttle Bus is allready waiting
INT. AT THE AIRPORT / AT THE AIRPLANE - DAY
And so they ran into the Shuttle Bus who bring them to the Airport where there arrive scrape trough they ran to the the Burger King where Eugene Levy is waiting he greets them
EUGENE Where are you been i waiting here for Hours
Together they ran to the Boarding Gate and than right trough the Airplane to New York City in the Plane their sitting there Richard Lewis get drunk Larry tries to sleep Eugene Levy sits there he had drink 22 Coffee while waiting for the others so he is totally squirrelly and his Eyes are wide open so he noticed that Phillip Michael Thomas is with them on the Plane he stands up and greets him
EUGENE Hey you the Black Guy from Miami Vice
P.M.T.
Oh yeah that i am
EUGENE Fantastic i love that Show
P.M.T.
And you are the Father from
American Pie right?
EUGENE Guilty in the Sense of the Accusal
P.M.T.
O yeah that was a cool Movie i
love it wanna join me for some
Coffee
EUGENE Oh yeah i love Coffee too when i tell this to my Optician he is a big Fan of you
P.M.T.
Oh yeah did he also sell
sunglasses?
EUGENE Ya he do that he have beautiful Sunglasses
P.M.T.
Oh thats great maybe you introduce
me to him when we back in L.A.
EUGENE It will be a pleasure for me
Meanwhile Larry wakes up look around and see Eugene Levy talkin to Phillip Michael Thomas and a drunken Richard Lewis who flirts with a Flight Attentand he gets hungry so he eats some pretzles now he is getting thirsty
Larry scream
LARRY This Pretzles makin me thirsty
He looks around and see only Flight Attentand the one who is flirting with Richard Lewis so he scream a bit louder and harsher
LARRY This Pretzles makin me thirsty
No Response he says to and Old Fat Man
LARRY Do you see that instead she is doing her Job she is flirtin with a drunken Richard Lewis ok when it was a sober Leonardo de Caprio i can understand i understand it even a little bit when it was a squiffy Alec Baldwin but thats a drunken Richard Lewis
So he scream again louder and harsher
LARRY This Pretzles making me thirsty
No Response again so he scream as loud and harsh es he can
LARRY This Pretzles makin me thirsty
so that the whole Plane is watching at him and Richard Lewis disabuse him
RICHARD Larry a little bit discipline please
Larry shake his Head and then talk to the Flight Attentand
LARRY Whats with the Soda?
The Flight Attentand give Larry a Soda
FLIGHT ATTENTAND Are you satisfied now?
LARRY Yes for the Moment
The Flight Attentand go away and Larr is satisfied Eugene Levy winks him by
EUGENE Hey Larry come over here is somebody who wanna met you
Larry goes to them and greets Phillip Michael Thomas
LARRY Hey you the Black Guy from Miami Vice
P.M.T.
Yeah i am and you the Guy who
wrote Seinfeld
LARRY Well not all Episodes but most of it
P.M.T.
My Favourite Episode is The Puerto
Rican Day is that from you
LARRY No
P.M.T.
Ah but i think you are a great
Writer too and im glad to met you
anyway lets meet for some drink in
New York
EUGENE Yes that is a good Idea we are at the Mario's for Diner this Evening be invited to step by
P.M.T.
Yeah i will do that
Larry puts Eugene Levy on the Side
LARRY Hey why you inviting this Guy if you sure that Woody Allen will agree with that?
Eugene Levy laughs
EUGENE Woody Allen likes everyone
LARRY No he didn't
As they arrived Woody Allen is waiting for them at the Boarding Gate Phillip Michael Thomas walks forward and farewell
P.M.T.
Bye Fellas until then
EUGENE Goodbye Mr. Thomas until later
RICHARD Bye
LARRY Goodbye
He and Woody Allen look each other with grimmy Faces and when he is away Woody Allen says
WOODY Do you know this Guy?
LARRY Briefly
WOODY I hate him he is my worst Enemy since
EUGENE Why you hate him he is such a nice Guy?
WOODY That's since he did his Motivation Programs i lost a lot of Fans who can't identify with me anymore because they are happy now
Larry punches Eugene Levy soft in the Side
LARRY See i told you
WOODY But who Cares so lets drive to the Hotel
They get into the Car and drivin while the Ride Larry asks Woody
LARRY In which Hotel we housing Carlton Ritz Hilton?
WOODY No non of them
LARRY Where else Palace Mariott Waldorf Astoria?
WOODY No somerwhere else
LARRY Where somewhere else?
WOODY Just somewhere else
it depends that they sleeping at the Appartment of Woody Allens Aunt in the 76th Street they arrive at the Appartment House
LARRY Where are we here?
WOODY That's the Appartment of my Aunt Fanny
LARRY That's not a Hotel like you told
WOODY
She declare it as a Bed &
Breakfast that's a Kind of Hotel
LARRY No it isn't
WOODY It is!
LARRY Whatever why we sleeping here Woody?
WOODY Well the Check for the Film Budget is not arrived yet so i place you here for the First Time
LARRY But we can afford Hotel Rooms by us self
WOODY No i say you invited and so you are invited
They get into the Appartment Woody Allens Aunt comes in and its Barbara Streisand in colourful Dress screaming
FANNY Hi everybody
LARRY Hi
RICHARD Hi
EUGENE Hello pretty Woman it's a Pleasure to meet you
Eugene Levy kiss Aunt Fanny on the Hand
FANNY Oh a Chameur
WOODY Hello Aunt Fanny
FANNY Hello my favourite Newphew who want some Bagels?
EUGENE Oh that will be wonderful
and everybody is hungry so she brought a Ton of Bagels and everybody is eating and Woody Allen notice
WOODY But don't eat to much spare your Hunger for the Dinner
so they pack over their Packages now the Appartment is very big so everybody has an Single Room everybody go on it Larry is in his Room ang pack over his package as Woody Allens Aunt come in and pack him from the Behind
FANNY Oh Larry i waiting for this Moment all the Time take me take me as you never take any Woman before
Larry try to resits but she is in a Mad Rage bun in this Moment Woody Allen comes in and his Aunt turn normal from one Second to the Other
WOODY Go get Larry some Alone Time Aunt we go to the Living Room and play some Chess
FANNY Ok bye Larry
Woody looks curious to Larry and Larry look shocked as they alle enpacked they go the Restaurant their Table is waiting and everybody orders a Big Expensive Meal because Woody Allen can chalk here as much as he want because the Owner is a Big Fan from him
WOODY You can order what you want i can chalk it on because the Owner is a Big Fan of me
The Owner comes to the Table and greet them
RESTAURANT OWNER Hello Woody is glad to have you here and you brough some other famous Friends with you that's great so what do you want to eat?
LARRY I take the Filet Mignon
RICHARD I take the Gambas with House Seasoning
EUGENE I take the Lobster
WOODY And i take the Steak Tatar
RESTAURANT OWNER Excellent Choices
The Owner brought the Food all is perfect and everybody is happy and enjoin their Meal until Phillip Michael Thomas arrived Woody Allen noticed him directly and as he sees that hes smilin an walk to their Table
Woody Allen screams
WOODY "What want this Guy here i hate him that ruins the complete Diner for me
EUGENE Whats the Matter with you he is a nice Guy
RICHARD Yeah he's allright
WOODY Did you think so too Larry?
Larry makes his sceptic Face
LARRY Eeh
Phillip Michael Thomas looking mad at him
WOODY Allright when all of my Friends say this Guy is allright i agreed to go on with the dinner but Larry didn't like him too so i have enough of this
Phillip Michael Thomas looks to Larry
P.M.T.
What the Fuck?
than P.M.T. says to him and Woody
P.M.T.
Fine im goin but when i met
somebody of you at the Street i
didn't guarantee for nothing
leaves the Restaurant and rams the Door behind him
Larry says all about nothing happenend
LARRY So we finish Diner now?
But Woody Allen isn't in the Mood for Eating anymore and decide to leave
WOODY No when a Dinner is once ruined it keeps ruined
So they leaving the Restaurant
LARRY What a fucked up Evening i hope its allright at home
Switch to his Home where the Blacks celebrating a Party and invited around 300 Primaly Black but also Latinos, Oakies and Asians theres Hustlers with their Bitches Gangsters with their Uzi's and Biker with their Bikes in the House Strippers dancing at Poles, Gamblers at the Poker Tables and Drunks at the Bar Coke Sniffers at the Toilet and Stoners in the Living Room
Switch back to Larry
LARRY Im sure it is
They get into a Taxi who is driven by an Asian Indian Woody Allen describe the Way to the Appartment of his Aunt and the Indian look at them
ASIAN INDIAN TAXI DRIVER Hey you the Man with the Glasses who fuck the young Girls and you they Father of the Guy who have his Dick in the Apple Pie and you are the Guy who the Girl from Halloween always wanna sleep with and you the Grandfather from Arrested Development
Everybody is amused except of Larry who hate it when he was confused with Will Arnett they all share the Bill and give a greatful Tip except of Larry and they go back to the Appartment to get some sleep before the Filming begins
Larry showers, brush his tooth, put his Pyama on and lies down in the Bed switch the Light off and then he hear the Voice
FANNY Hello Baby im waiting for you all the night
and so the Raping begins and Larrys Crys will be heard in a thousands of miles away
FADE OUT.