This is a really quick story I made up for Neji's birthday. I had to rush it, though, because it's getting late and my parents are going to kick me off at any minute. This is for Neji's birthday! Happy Birthday Neji! (I made a cake for him, and I'm about to eat a slice.) And please ignore spelling and grammar mistakes. Like I said, this is rushed.

Disclaimer: Don't own, and never will.

Warning: Neji is OC (out of character). But it's supposed to be humour. How can Neji X Tenten be funny if Neji's in character?

Neji rolled over on his bed, tangling himself in his white bed sheets. He looked over at his side table, and peered at the calendar Gai gave him for a New Year's party. "Youthfulness means not being tardy!" he exclaimed, thrusting the wrapped gift at Neji, who wasn't completely sober. Sure enough, it was the day he dreaded: July third. His birthday.

Why did the Hyuuga prodigy despise birthdays? Last year, Lee threw him a surprise party in a room that looked as though it was the stomach of a green monster. Everything was bright, neon green. Apparently, neon green is youthful for cold-hearted ninjas. After thirty minutes of staring at everything, Neji felt like he had to throw up. He stumbled to the bathroom to save himself from public humiliation. After another ten minutes, he was finished. When he entered the party room once again, Naruto and Kiba thought it would be a fantastic idea to light ten scented candles and place them in a circle. They insisted that everyone sat in the middle of the circle and play truth or dare. In less than five minutes, Neji could no longer take the smell. It seemed to snake up his nostrils and choke his brain, because he fainted. Unfortuantely, he fell back and his hair caught on fire because one of the candles. He had to about four inches off, and it took months of shampooing and conditioning until his hair returned to its usual lustrous look. "It was a freak accident," Tenten said slowly, trying to make him feel better. At that moment, Neji felt his birthday was a freak accident. Or maybe it was just having the strangest friends.

Tenten planned the birthday before that. But, to Neji's dismay, she had thought a quiet dinner with the Hyuuga family would be nice. How wrong she was. Most of the important Hyuugas were invited. There was a long table with uncountable utensils and plates for each person. They all took a seat and stared at Neji, who sat at the head of the table. Hiashi sat at the other end, his gaze fixed on the poor boy. It was indeed awkward. They began bombarding him with questions about his future plans. Then they began asking about Tenten. "She seems like a nice girl, planning a dinner for you," one said.

Then another one around Neji's age spoke up, "Yeah, I wouldn't mind going for her if you aren't interested." Neji almost threw up at hearing that. The Hyuuga that spoke was extremely perverted, and overly muscular. Sometimes Neji wondered how the boy managed to move. Even his lips had protruding muscles, making them look swollen. If he tried to kiss Tenten, surely she would be crushed by the weight of his lips alone. The thought of him doing anything with or to Tenten made Neji wish he could pull his brain out and wash it. And the wink he threw at Neji made the poor prodigy wish he could yank his eyes out and chuck them as far as possible.

This year, everyone decided to let Neji's closest guy friends, not including Lee for obvious reasons, plan the party. Neji overheard their conversation, which Naruto did an oh-so-well job keeping his voice down. But Neji felt slightly confident that his birthday would not turn out as horrible as the other years. Slighty, being the operative word. And as horrible as the other years, being the operative phrase. He didn't think anything the three of them planned could be worse than his other birthdays. Naruto would probably come up with a stupid suggestion that he thinks is smart, and it would immediately be shot down. Sasuke would probably think up a plan that completely and utterly humiliates Neji. But that would take a lot of effort to do, and Shikamaru is not one to put in a lot of effort. He would surely stop anything that was too hard to prepare, and they would end up throwing something simple. Like a party at Sasuke's compound where the food is pizza and the drinks are pop.

He scratched the itch on his bear chest and moaned. It was summer and quite hot in his room, especially with the sun shining through his window. Because of that, he slept shirtless.

"NEJIIII!" a loud voice screeched, pouncing onto the edge of Neji's bed.

Neji blinked once, and saw blue eyes staring into his own. "Holy shit!" he cursed, pulling his covers up to cover his chest. "What the hell are you doing, Naruto?" Neji's eyes darted to the clock, then back to Naruto's face. "It's 7:43 in the morning! I thought you had training today."

Naruto smirked. "Yeah, but we finished early today. Started at 6:00, ended at 7:30. Sasuke and I were excused because we have to plan---" he paused and recovered from the near slip, "---the squad seven dinner tomorrow night. Sakura planned it last year."

Neji was impressed. Naruto was never able to cover up his mistakes that well. The pause was hardly noticable, and the cover up wasn't half bad. If Neji didn't know about the plan, and if he didn't remember it was his birthday, he might have believe Naruto. But, alas, he didn't. "Oh, I see," Neji said calmly.

Naruto's eyes then drifted down to the blanket, which was slipping out of Neji's grasp and revealing more of Neji than Naruto ever wanted to see. "Put on a shirt!" he exclaimed, wrinkling his nose and scrunching his face up with disgust. "I don't want to see that half of you."

"Then get out."

"Fine, but hurry up. I'll be waiting outside your room."

"Mmhmm."

Naruto jumped off the bed, gave Neji a suspicious look, then gradually closed the door.

Neji walked over to his drawer and grabbed a loose white shirt. He slipped it on, but stopped midway when he saw the picture of his team on his desk. Lee was giving a thumbs up and winked at the camera, determination shining from his open eye. Gai was behind all of them, giving a thumbs up as well. His teeth sparkled, but not too brightly, because they didn't want to distort the pictures...again. Neji's arms were crossed, and he seemed to be glaring at the camera man. Neji refused to smile, no matter how many times the photographer begged him, and no matter how many tricks thrown his way. Neither Neji nor the photographer would give in. Tenten finally got fed up with this, and stuck a stick she found on the ground up his butt. In the end, it wasn't a smile, but it was the closest thing to emotion that he had ever showed (besides anger). One of his eyes were squeezed shut, while the other was dementedly larger than usual. He gritted his teeth. His mouth formed an abstract shape, and his whole face screamed silently. Tenten, on the other hand, was smiling too much. She innocently looked at the camera, as though she didn't do anything.

The picture was mailed to each of them a few days later. Hiashi checked the mail and found an envelope addressed to Neji. He called his nephew over and asked him what it was. Neji blushed madly and grabbed the package, but as he tried to get away, dropped the item. Hanabi picked it up and unwrapped it. She howled with laughter at the priceless look on Neji's face. Tears began welling up in her eyes as she clutched her stomach and fell to the ground. Hinata suppressed her giggles. She gently ordered Hanabi to stop laughing, but in the end, Hinata scurried away to laugh in her room. And what about Hiashi? The Hyuuga clan's prodigious, respectable leader? Well, he was laughing his royal ass off as he picked the picture up. He calmed quickly, but after looking at Neji's photo once more, burst out laughing again. He handed it to Neji then stumbled away. Neji lost all respect for his uncle that day. They had a retake of the group photo, but everyone swore to keep the original.

"You done?" Naruto's muffled voice called from the other side of the door.

"Putting shorts on," Neji responded. "Unless you want to see more of me than before, I suggest you stay out."

Naruto didn't reply. Neji found the shorts he always wore, and the cream jacket as well. He put those on and quickly wrapped his right arm and leg. Before opening the door, he grabbed his headband and placed it on his forehead.

"Took you long enough," Naruto stated in a matter-of-fact tone. "And you didn't even comb your hair!"

Neji paused. Everything happened in slow motion. Naruto grabbed a randomly and conveniently placed hand mirror. He slowly brought it up. Neji could hear the dramatic music gradually getting louder and louder with every heartbeat. Finally, Neji was able to look at himself clearly. He hair was a mess. It was disarray, like he was just thrown into a tornado. "M-M-M-M-M-My---" but he couldn't finish his sentence. He immediately grabbed for the comb on the same desk as the mirror (which was also conveniently placed) and because furiously brushing his hair.

Naruto continued laughing at Neji. Finally, after a few dozen brushes, Neji slowed to a stop. "Are you done?" Naruto asked, stifling his chuckles. Neji nodded sheepishly and placed the comb back. "Well, let's go! I want to take you to lunch for your special seventeenth birthday!"

Neji nodded, playing along with the little plot. Naruto grabbed his hand and dragged him to a secluded part of Konoha. They had only been there once. Neji, Naruto, Sasuke, and Shikamaru were dared by Tenten, Hinata, Sakura, and Ino to go there. Supposedly it was haunted. And with their inflated egos, the four (Shikamaru was dragged) headed off to the house. "Nothing is going to scare me," Naruto exclaimed loudly, "believe i----" But before he could respond, four monster masked figures jumped out of the darkness. Shikamaru, who wasn't paying attention and didn't see it coming, literally peed his pants. Naruto shrieked a high-pitched scream. As for the two stoic prodigies, well, they were no where to be found. The only clue the six teens had to which direction they went in was the door swinging back and forth, and the echoing yells.

They finally reached the door. "If you're trying to scare me---"

Naruto brought a hand up to Neji's face, interupting him. "No way," he said, smirking. "We don't need you running out screaming again."

Neji rolled his eyes and grabbed the doorknob. Three, two, one, he counted down mentally. The doors burst open, and the lights clicked on.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY NEJI!" everyone screamed, jumping out from the corners and sides of the wall.

Neji didn't feel like pretending to be surprised, so he stood there emotionless. "Wow, I never saw this coming," he said sarcastically.

Everyone frowned with disappointment. "Who gave it away? Sakura spoke up, disappointed.

"One: I overheard you conversing a few days ago. Naruto, Sasuke, and Shikamaru were supposed to plan this. And even if I didn't hear you, Naruto said, 'We don't need you---'" Neji paused, not wanting to finish the sentence. "He said 'we', and it was obvious there was more than one person waiting inside."

Sakura shot Naruto a death glare, causing him to retreat behind the Hyuuga. "I told you Sasuke should have been the one to get Neji," Ino said in a know-it-all voice. "We all knew he would slip! Sasuke, on the other hand, wouldn't have said anything to give it away!" Then she turned to Naruto, fire burning in her eyes. "And you! I told you to keep your voice down. It's all your fault Neji overheard us!"

Sasuke looked over at Naruto, who gave an approving nod. Then he looked at Shikamaru, who smirked mischievously and nodded as well. "Hey, Tenten," Sasuke whispered.

Tenten looked over at Sasuke and raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"Go tell Neji to get over here so I can ask him something."

"Why me?"

"Why should I go?"

As much as Tenten wanted to retort to that awful comeback, she couldn't. Sasuke gave her that look that made it seem like the best comeback in the world. "Fine," she mumbled, walking towards him. "Hey, Neji!" Neji, with the eyes of an eagle, caught the look Naruto, Sasuke, and Shikamaru exchanged. He looked at Shikamaru, who bent down and grabbed string that blended in well with everything around it. He tugged at it. Neji quickly looked at Tenten, then down. The string stretched across the room, and suddenly tightened. Then the cogs clicked in his head.

They're going to make her trip! He started moving towards her, and stretched out both of his arms to push her away. "Tenten, stop! Look out!"

The next thing he made contact with was soft. He didn't know what they were until he looked down. "N-Neji," a murderous voice called. "Get. Your. Hands. Off. Of. My. BREASTS!" POW! A painful punch landed on his cheek, causing him to stagger backwards.

"N-No, I didn't mean to touch them!" he stuttered, blood rushing to his face faster than he could control it. He pointed to Shikamaru and let his mouth hang. He tried to say something, but nothing came out. He began rapidly pointing at Shikamaru, exclaiming gibberish. Tenten locked in her stance and crossed her arms. She angrily bit her bottom lip and began nodding, humming "mmhmm" multiple times. He could tell she was ticked off, and that wasn't helping the situation at all. Anytime now, she's going to pummel me! Wait, why am I so afraid of her? I could easily beat her like we do when we spar. His flushed face and troubled lips tugged up into a smirk. "So what if I did? What are you going to do about?"

Tenten's eyes widened maniacally as she cracked her knuckles.

"N-No, I didn't mean that!" he said automatically, fearing her wrath. So much for standing up to her. He quickly realized he found his voice again and decided to expose the evil masterminds---Neji paused in his thoughts. Masterminds? No, that doesn't work. I'm going to expose those two evil masterminds and the evil idiot for what they did! Surely they'd get beaten up. He cleared his throat professionally and pointed to Shikamaru. "As you were walking towards me," he said loudly so Sakura and Ino could hear, "I saw Naruto, Sasuke, and Shikamaru exchange looks of pure evil."

I didn't think it was pure evil, Tenten thought, but decided not to say it out loud.

"Then Shikamaru bent down and pulled on a string that stretches across this room. If you continued running towards me, you would have tripped on it. So I did the only thing I could."

Tenten cocked an eyebrow and fought back a smile. "And that was grabbing my chest?"

Neji blushed lightly. "Well, no. I stuck my hands out to stop you from coming any closer. And my hands just happened to touch...that area. I swear I didn't plan to! Please forgive---"

The next thing he knew, Tenten's soft lips planted on his. Then, they disappeared as quickly as they came. "---me," he finished, shocked.

Tenten blushed lightly as well and clasped her hands behind her back. "Happy Birthday Neji," she said softly.

"Thanks." The two stood next to each other awkwardly, not knowing what to do next.

Shikamaru, Sasuke, and Naruto, who had finally joined them, stared at their finished work of art. "I think we did a good job," Shikamaru said proudly.

Sasuke and Naruto nodded triumphantly.

And at that moment, no matter how awkward, Neji finally realized that he would never, ever, trade his team members for any other members. That was, until his next birthday party. But that's another story.

Well, that's it. Don't forget to review!