I hadn't really been surprised when the door opened to reveal Josh. I think I am always hopeful that when doors open in my life they would reveal Josh, so perhaps I thought it was just natural when they did and wrong when they didn't. So I wasn't surprised to see him, despite the fact that this was "Elect Russell Headquarters" and we had lost and the party of the year was happening because of Josh just a few hundreds yards away: and yet I wasn't surprised. I was, however, slightly surprised to see the three beers in hand and his patented "I'm da man" demeanor being overshadowed by his "I am a decent man and a great friend and know you worked your ass off so let's be together" look. It was as if he'd reached into my mind, no my heart, and thought of the thing I needed most and supplied it. He had come to show his respect, a "hats off to you for your efforts" with a beer in it for Will too. It was just what I needed. He was just what I needed.
We sat in silence for several minutes just sipping our beers and watching the now unanimous cheers from the delegates rising to the rafters as if they had all always wanted this. As if they had come in full agreement to nominate Santos and Leo and none of this multi-ballot squabbling had ever taken place. I almost laughed out loud at the irony. I hadn't laughed in days. The ballot process had been so stressful and so hard on all of us. I stole a glance at Will, thinking of how he had screamed himself hoarse promising sub-cabinet positions to anyone he could get on the line. He was looking right at me. He made a motion with his head towards the door indicating he was going to go. I got up and met him by the exit.
"I think I'll go freshen up before heading back down for the party" he said, a wry grin spreading across his tired face.
"You done good Will" I said in my most matter of fact tone and without thinking I reached out to wrap my arms around his neck. Will practically melted into my embrace and in the few seconds from my reaching to his melting I became acutely aware of Josh's presence in the room. He was behind me now but I just knew he had peeled his eyes away from the tiny t.v. broadcasting his victory and I could feel his glance burning into my back. I parted from Will and smiled, allowing him to hold my arms just below the elbows. I wasn't sorry for working with,and learning from Will, or for all of the dinners we had shared. I wasn't sorry for being his friend. He smiled at me too and looked over to Josh, who casually put his beer to his lips and took a long swig while never taking his eyes off Will. They seemed to be in some sort of staring contest until Will spoke up and said "Thanks for the beer Josh, and Congrats on the win, Santos is a great candidate". Josh now lifted his bottle as a salute and said "See you around the party!" He turned his head back towards thescreen but I could see him looking at us out of the corner of his eye. His whole body was ridged.
"I really will be down later to eat and rub elbows" Will started, with renewed eagerness to play politics. "Can I look for you there?"
"Absolutely" I nodded, genuinely wanting to encourage him although I doubted I would be able to stand on my feet much longer, never mind schmooze with key party players.
"Then until later" he joked, a wide grin now overtaking his face.
I smiled and watched him leave the room. I headed back towards Joshand stood behind my chair.
"You going back to your room?" Josh asked in the middle of a stretch, both of his arms (beer in hand)raising slowly into the air.
"Yeah" I offered gathering my stuff and waving good-bye to the few interns left in the room, being low on the totem poll had them missing the parties although they definitely looked way to young to be drinking.
Josh too stood up and waited for me to pass before gently placing his hand on the small of my back and guiding me towards the door, just firm enough to let me know he was close and just soft enough to make me wonder how close.
In some cruel twist of fate mine and Josh's rooms had always been within close proximity on the campaign trail. When my more rational thoughts were present, I would think it had something to do with our last names, Ly most certainly being the end of the L's and Mo could be the front of the M's. I didn't recall meeting any Madisons or Mitchells on the trail, or had I? Anyway despite any possible rational explanation for why our rooms were practically on top of each other in countless cities across the nation, I preferred to blame fate and it was working so far. Only fate would have it that I would spend several awkward elevator rides and silent walks down a seemingly endless hallway with a man I used to banter with effortlessly. Fate is cruel and Ice cold.
It is no exception that this same fate would have Josh and I, just moments after stepping out from the Russell Headquarters into the overcrowded and noisy hallway to find ourselves standing face to face with Cliff Calley. Cliff Calley, JUST GREAT! I can't help but flush immediately. I think I see him first and Josh must notice the change in my completion because he looks up and stops short, causing a brief interruption to the flow of motion in the busy hallway.
"Donna!" Cliff is first to speak and advances for a brief hug. Josh's body goes ridged for the second time tonight. "Josh, you da man!" He exclaims letting go of me to grasp Josh's hand and pump it furiously up and down. The White House lingo must have already worn off on Cliff after just a month of being there.
I glanced to Josh who looked incapable of speech and smiled sweetly to Cliff, "You must be here with the President", I managed, making Josh noticablywince.
"Yeah, we just flew in on Air Force One today" Cliff started, forgetting just who he was trying to impress, "and we were working on the speech up until the last minute considering how everything was so up in the air." I wasn't sure if I should consider this a dig at the democratic party or just a statement of the facts but I wasn't about to stand around to hear how Josh took it. Speaking quickly I said "Yeah, well we have a candidate now who is strong and arealleader so I guess we will be on our way back down to party with him soon!" I was trying not to sound too eager to leave but Cliff didn't seemed to mindeither a.) that we were leaving or b.) that Josh hadn't even spoken to him at all. He was suddenly focused right on me and said, "Well please look for me at the party, your face is one of the only ones I can consider friendly in this territory." He had meant it to be nice and funny but the joke only made me cringe as memories of uncomfortable moments flashed through my mind. This time it was me placing my hands on Josh's arm and guiding him past Cliff while glancing over my shoulder to untruthfully and over enthusiasticallysay, "I will, see you there!"
Josh and I weaved our way through the crowd to the elevator bank in the back of the convention center. We both had passes to go by the secret service agents stationed there, the hotel and a few select offices were an area for campaign staff and V.I.P.'s only, not that the delegates had even noticed in the huge center. It really had been quite an event and I suppose I had seen it with fresh eyes this time around. I had more access to the back channels and policy meetings that made the event more than just and event. I now walked with a sense of pride and confidence that I really had never experienced before, the Russell Campaign had changed me.
We loaded the elevator and now were on ANOTHER ride of silence. Josh was looking down and I was watching the lights light up one at a time each with a seemingly mesmerizing ding so fascinating that I couldn't pull my eyes away from them. Our rooms were on the 8th floor, but the elevator stopped at the 4th to let on a young couple who were cracking up and wearing little foam hats. If I didn't know any better I'd say they'd slipped past the agents, but Josh spoke up with what I recognized as his cocky "I'm da man" grin even though he wasbehind me, "Hey Paul…Maggie."
"Oh, Hi Mr. Lyman" Paul straightened up immediately and removed his hands from I suppose Maggie's waist. "Congratulations on the win!"
"Congratulations to you too Paul, you worked just as hard as I did!"
"Not that hard Mr. Lyman" Maggie said disbelievingly.
"No, not that hard is right" Josh said smugly "but hard enough, both of you, great job"
The two of them were getting off at the 6th floor at this point but both with a huge smile and a renewed sense of importance in politics with just one sentence from Josh.
"That was nice" I smiled and turned toward Josh as the elevator doors closed and Paul and Maggie's laughter echoed in the hall.
"Her name's Theresa" Josh started laughing, "and his name is Mark".
"You called them the wrong names?" I asked incredulously.
"Yeah, but they didn't correct me did they?I gotta keep thosewho assistme in their place or they will wise up and take other jobs and leave."
I couldn't really believe what I was hearing but the elevator had stopped on our floor and he pushed by me to get off. I considered his tone, it hadn't been mean, almost playful, but still, there was so much there. Did this mean he had forgiven me for "wising up" but felt that I had left him? I wished I really could read his mind as he had accused me of so often, but admittedly I was out of practice after being away from him for so long. Suddenly his voice broke through my thoughts as he bellowed "Donna" and started jogging back towards the elevator. I realized the doors were closing and I hadn't stepped off so I put my arm up just in time to catch the heavy doors. He too put his arm up as if to hold them open and looked at me expectantly, "Are you getting off?" He was mocking me with his voice and eyes, his eyebrows raised ever so slightly and his head cocked.
"Yes…I was just…thinking" nice cover.
"Donna", he laughed saying my name as only he could, "let's go." He again placed his hand on the small of my back and led me towards our respective doors.
My idiotic behavior, though embarrassing, seemed to be a bit of an icebreaker and I was glad at the moment, for the first time in my life, for looking stupid in front of Josh. We got to our doors and he opened his in record speed. Impressed, I turned to glance over my shoulder and he was looking right at me with a huge grin "I've been practicing". A smile spread across my face and I was about to open mine when a door three rooms down swung open and a large entourage entered the hall. It was none other than Ryan Pierce, Josh's intern from hell but the only ally I had ever had against the insane amount of work Josh required. Ryan looked good in khaki's and a navy blazer, his red tie pulled loose around his neck and a girl under either arm. He was no doubt going down to the party and he was obviously going to make an impression. When he saw us in the hallway his face brightened and he slowly sauntered right between us. "Hey ya'll, How goes it?"
"It goes fine, thanks for asking Ryan" Josh sneered, "I see you are doing alright for yourself" he said indicating the gathering Ryan led.
"Yeah, these are my Boys and this is Lisa and Rebecca" Ryan explained (although Josh could've cared less) with a slight head flick behind him to the group of guys and a turn to either side to indicate which girl was which. Ryan gave a quick wink at Josh before turning to me.
"Donna, Donna, Donna, you are looking good tonight! I do hope I will see you down there later to hang, you are way too young to be going to bed this early!" The line was obviously a dig at Josh, since Ryan made no attempt to say the same about him. He had always brought up how I acted way too old for my age: "Just think about it" he used to say, "we are only 6 years apart and you act like my mother not my girlfriend". I would always quickly remind him that I was NOT his girlfriend and would never act like it and then ask him to photocopy an encyclopedia.
Almost as quickly as Ryan and his party had emerged they continued down the hall with only a "Peace Out" as they left. I watched as they passed recognizing two Senator's sons and one overweight nephew of the minority leader. They had attended a stump event for us and I had spent the evening finding them cokes.
When the group had gone I looked up to see Josh leaning against his doorframe with one foot crossed behind the other propping open his door. He was studying me carefully with his deep brown eyes and a slight smirk across his face. "What?" I asked unable to keep a matching smirk from spreading across my own lips. "You're popular tonight" He stated.
"How do you mean?" I started cautiously.
With mocking sincerity he began "Well, first there was Will who wanted to rub elbows and then there was Cliff," he voice now filled with disdain, "who wanted to see your friendly face" at that he smiled "and finally Mr. Ryan Pierce himself who wanted to remind you that not only were you the right age to be at the party, but if you do go you can hang out under one of his pre-pubescent armpits."
He seemed to be amused at that last line.
"I am pretty sure he is past puberty Josh" I said turning again to my door to unlock it.
"He could be a late bloomer"
"I could do some research" I said suggestively
"I guess Will would have to give that assignment" He said it and went silent, slumping down against the door frame and looking towards the ground.
"Yeah, I guess" I said, unsettled by his sudden accusatory tone. At this point I was just eager to get into my room, although he made no attempt to go into his own, his door still resting ajar on the heal of his shoe. I turned toward my door and started messing with the key card.
"So are you going to go?" His tone had done a 180 and was now just as casual as could be.
"I don't know, maybe" I said relieved to finally be getting my door open. Just as I crossed the threshold into my dark and inviting room he said,
"don't go". It was soft and just above a whisper.
I turned back to see him looking up just slightly from his bowed head and upper body, he was still leaning against his door frame but now instead of casual he looked rumpled and uneasy.
"What?" I replied genuinely curious if he'd said what I thought he'd said.
"Don't go". Now he was just slightly louder and he stood up straight.
I shot him a confused look. I genuinely didn't understand what was going on. Was there a political reason I shouldn't go? I needed to save face for Russell or something? I just wasn't sure what he meant. It never occurred to me that what follows would take place:
"Donna, don't go, don't go because I am not going and from now on I don't want you to go anywhere where I don't go." He says this with an emphatic tone, the words spilling forth like he has opened a floodgate. "Since you left me these past few months my chest has ached, ACHED just thinking of you and wanting to be with you." He pauses for a moment and looks me dead in the eyes smiling, "I don't think that is a normal employee/employer relationship," back to serious, "what I am saying, Donna, is that there is a huge possibility that I feel something more for you than just being my favorite assistant, the fact is that you are my favorite person; and I don't want you to go tonight so that I can spend time with you figuring out what that means."
I immediately begin to cry, I can feel the smile spreading across my face and the warmth filling up my chest. I move to embrace him but he has already met me halfway and as both of our doors click shut we hold each other in the middle of the hall, in the middle of the democratic convention, in the middle of the country, and block everything out as we just hug. It is the beginning of something that I have always wanted. I know that Josh wouldn't have spoken up if he wasn't ready, and I knew what the ache was the moment he described it because it had been filling my chest since the moment I left him in the bullpen and dialed the number for the temp to replace me. But all that is behind us and all we have now is a future. I pull back to smile at him and ask:
"Why now?"
"Do you really wanna know?" he teases.
"Uh huh" I nod, biting my lower lip and looking him right in the eyes.
"Leo said he wouldn't accept the Vice President Nomination if I didn't." I playfully punch him in the arm.
"Remind me to thank him later" I say and lean in to resume my place in Josh's arms. Before I can place my head back on his shoulder Josh leans over and briefly brushes my lips with his warm breath. A tingle goes up my spine and I realize that he is about to kiss me. I feel his grasp tighten around me and I think I can literally feel his heart beating through his chest, although it could be my own that I am sure is echoing through the hall. He gets close, as close as he can and with an intense and hungry voice asks, "Is this alright?"
"Yeah", I smile again welling with tears and seeing his own features brighten as we kiss for the first time with huge goofy grins on both of our faces. He holds me even closer and deepens the kiss and I am lost in the arms of the man that I know I will be with for the rest of my life.
We part and he rests his forehead on mine. "Hey Donna," he asks arrogantly.
"Yeah" I answer cautiously
"You wanna help me get Matt Santos elected"
"Did you do all of this for a job offer?" I ask.
"Yeah, pretty good strategy huh?" He quips.
"Oh Josh," I say slyly, "you have no idea what good strategy is, however I will make it my life's goal to help you figure it out!"
"I am counting on it!" He grins before lifting me up for a brief spin and kissing me one last time before setting me back down on the floor and walking us hand in hand to the elevator bank. I guess I will be making it to the party after all…I just hope Will, Cliff and Ryan aren't too bummed that I brought a date!