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An Artie/Tina fic
Chapter One.
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Disclaimer:Hallo thar! I am most definitely NOT Ryan Murphy or anyone else that may own Glee. I am simply just a devoted Gleek and undying fan of Artie and Tina.
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A/N: Yup, it's a little dark. But most of whatever I write is. Guess it's just my brain.
Anyways, it's really my first fic on my own, as in not collaborative or whatnot. Hope it's alright. This is just the first chapter, obviously, and I'll probably hold off on writing the second one if I don't get too much of a response. Not that I'm 'pressuring' anyone who's reading this into a review, but I'm on the verge of where I'm taking this, so I'd like to wait for some response, seeing where people would like to see it go. Does that make sense?
Just another note, I have no Beta, so it's just me and my bad self over here. That might make for a few awkward sentences or some spelling mistakes. If there are any, please please PLEASE tell me about them so I can fix them, 'kay? I'm not too proud to take that criticism. And if you'd like to say anything else, obviously, don't hesitate!
Anyways, enough of my rambling!! Here we go!!
PLEASE REVIEW! And enjoy!
The auditorium house was pitch black and the only lights in the large room was a solitary spotlighton the center of the stage. Under the heat of the light stood a lone, ebony-clad junior, raven-haired head bent and whole body still save for a converse covered toe tapping rhytmically, in sync with the beat blaring from the stereo off-stage. Tina waited for her cue patiently, the words swimming through her mind and blotting out all other thoughts. Thoughts of her parents' red faces when she brought home a french test weilding a less than acceptable mark. Thoughts of the frigid grape slushie that was dripping from her face only hours before, drenching the third shirt of the week. Most of all, thoughts of Artie's dissapointed face as she confessed her deepest secret.
It had been nearly a month since Tina had opened up to Artie and had been devastated by his response. No one had really noticed her lack of a stutter, aside from a few proud smiles from Mr. Shuester for her flawless speech. The knowing looks from her usually best friend tore deeply, implications of the knowledge that she was now "normal", while he didn't have that opportunity laying heavily across her shoulders. The weight that seemed to be building there caused her step to become a little more shuffled, her smiles a little sadder and her stutter-free voice a little quieter. How could she have hurt Artie as badly as she did? How could she let herself push him away, the very last person she felt she had to hide from. She had beaten herself up for the last few weeks over it. Alone.
She walked through the halls by herself lately, no wheelchair before her and her hands empty. In class, she kept her head down and her mouth shut. At lunch she ate quietly with her friends, rarely raising her eyes from her tray to meet those of her lunch mates. She hadn't studdered for weeks, but she also had seemed to stop talking. She just didn't feel like it. And no one seemed to notice. No one seemed to care.
Outside of school, she was faced with her father's apparent disappointment in her schoolwork. She would never live up to her brother, Marcus, and he would not let her forget it. She would never get as good of grades, never have as many friends. In her father's constant comparison, Tina would always fall short.
On nights when her father would berate her mercilessly, she would often look to her timid step-mother, who would only look away, rapt with fascination over the intricate carvings of a near-by vase or how the paint peeled off of the wall at the corner. Ascertained that she was alone in fighting her father, Tina would simply accept the harsh words, nodding and watching the ground as he tore her down with his words, mumbling a soft "Yes father, no father." Often, she would catch a drunken, swinging fist on her ear or an open palm on her cheek before being dismissed to her room, where she'd cry and search for her only relief, steel and cold. She'd submit herself to her own inflicted pain, easing the vulnerable skin on her wrists open, letting the relief seep out. In a rush of pain, she'd feel better about herself and she'd fall asleep on her tear stained pillow, resting up for a new day.
Since Artie had walked (wheeled) out of her life more or less, these nights seemed to be far more frequent. She was beginning to lose hope. It was beginning to be more and more difficult to wake up each morning, to go through the motions. It seemed as if Glee was sometimes the only reason to even try. Because it gave her an opportunity to smile, to forget. To lose herself so wholly in music. And, as painful as it was, it gave her an opportunity to see Artie.
Every time she saw him, she couldn't keep her heart from leaping slightly. Her blood always rushed a little faster when he was around, and she was always a little more likely to smile. But she still couldn't bring herself to actually talk to him. She knew how badly she'd hurt him, She couldn't ask for his forgiveness. She didn't even know the words to begin. So when Mr. Shuester assigned her the lead in "True Colors", she beamed widely. Not because it was a lead, but because it was as if she could have written the song to Artie herself. It was exactly what she wanted to say but couldn't.
As she readied herself to begin, she closed her eyes, conjuring Artie's face, listening, waiting for her to tell him what she wanted. She took a deep breath, lifting her head and letting the first few words flow, her eyes held closed tightly, holding the picture. She poured every ounce of emotion into it she could muster, really letting everything flow.
"You with the sad eyes
don't be discouraged
oh I realize
it's hard to take courage
in a world full of people
you can lose sight of it all
and the darkness inside you
can make you fell so small"
Her voice was soft, but it still had unbelievable power in it, easily carrying through the auditorium and a bit beyond through the open doors at the back of the room.
While her eyes were shut, she failed to notice a silhouette in the doorway, watching in rapt silence. Slowly, the shadow wheeled into the auditorium, stopping on a landing before the light and sound board, fading from the light filtering in through the door once more. He was checking to see if the auditorium was open to use for a song he'd been working on to show Mr. Shuester, but when he'd heard the familiar voice wafting into the hallway, he couldn't resist the urge to come in and listen. He had always thought her voice was beautiful, but he'd always thought everything about her was beautiful.
Artie watched Tina singing, alone on the stage, and he felt a tug at his heart. It had been so hard for him to be without her. He often watched her throughout the day, looking away the second she chanced a glance in his direction. Which seemed very rarely. Her attention almost always seemed to be cast at the ground, her face hidden behind the black curtain of her hair.
But now, while she sang, she lifted her head, singing out to the house with tear-filled eyes. Artie saw the first one roll slowly down her cheek. Tina felt it, wet and warm, but did not lift her hand to wipe it away. Soon, it was followed by another, then another, until they were simply showering her cheeks, leaving damp trails down the soft skin, running under her chin and down her neck until met with the fabric of her fitted black t-shirt. Artie wished he could approach her, wipe the tears away reassuringly. But he stayed in the shadows, not wanting to interrupt her. Besides, there were stairs, and he could not manage those in his chair. So, instead, he decided to wipe the tears from his own eyes.
As the words began to flow from her lips, Tina felt the familiar pressure in her chest, as if her heart were stretching wings it had long forgotten it had. She spread her arms outwards, stretching herself. She lifted her tear dampened face even more, letting the light flood it, smiling slightly. She dropped all inhibitions she would otherwise cling to if she were around other people.
"But I see your true colors
shining through
I see your true colors
and that's why I love you
so don't be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are beautiful
like a rainbow
She wallowed in the feeling of being alone. Completely alone, but not lonely. Just undisturbed, left to be herself. As the song wound towards the end, she really began to belt the words, her voice filling the auditorium completely, corner to corner.
"Show me a smile then
don't be unhappy, can't remember
when I last saw you laughing
if this world makes you crazy
and you've taken all you can bear
you call me up
because you know I'll be there"
Her voice had taken on a hint of pain, as if she needed to say the words spilling from her lips. She needed them to be heard, to be acknowledged. Artie realized that this wasn't just simply a song. This was Tina talking, crying out to someone to listen. DId she want just anyone? Or was it more specific?
"And I'll see your true colors
shining through
I see your true colors
and that's why I love you
so don't be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are beautiful"
The background music began to fade, and she softened her voice for her last line, still loud enough to be heard from every seat in the empty audience area.
"Like a rainbow."
As the final note hung in the air, she took a step towards the stereo off in the darkness offstage before her movement was halted by a sound coming from the suposedly empty audience. Fear filled her veins as she snaped her head in the direction of the noise, which she now was able to identify as clapping. She obviously could see nothing, as the spotlight successfully blinded her to anything in the darkness beyond.
She lifted a hand to her forehead, forming a bill over her brow to block out the light in order to see the other person with no success. As she opened her mouth as if to say something, the lights suddenly shifted, the spotlight turning off and the house lights rising to reveal Artie at the sound and light board. With a soft sigh, Tina dropped her hand to her side again, her fingers curling into a fist softly at her side. She shifted awkwardly, unsure of what to do. Was he there to simply listen to her? Doubtful, she thought.
Recalling her damp cheeks, Tina decided her best bet was to get out of there as soon as possible. She rushed of of the stage and up the stairs, looking down at the ground as she moved.
"Sorry, I didn't know someone was scheduled to use this space." She mumbled softly as she rushed past Artie, who snapped into action.
"Tina." Artie called, wheeling quickly to her side. When she failed to stop for him, he reached out for her, catching her wrist in his hand. A yelp of pain passed Tina's lips as she tugged against his grip, which was hardly tight enough to cause pain, and she felt the torn skin beneath the arm warmer she wore objectify to his touch. She turned on her heel to look at him, seeming horror on his face. Quickly, his fingers released from around her wrist and she cradled it to her chest. He knew he hadn't held hard enough to cause any damage, but the idea of inflicting any pain on her was one he could hardly bare.
"I'm sorry.. I…" He began, but she just shook her head.
"No. It was my fault." She said softly, looking into his eyes as if to assure him he was not to blame. Blood began to seep through the blue fabric and, though she tried her best to hide it from him, Artie noticed immediately.
"Tee, you're…" Suddenly, it dawned on him, and his soft, apologetic tone was washed away, replaced with one of urgence as he wheeled himself closer to her, holding out his hand to her. "Let me see." He demanded, waiting for her arm. She looked down at his outstretched arm with a wounded, pleading look, as if she would do absolutely anything if he would just let her turn and walk away. "Tina." He fixed his gaze on her face. " Please. Let me see."
Slowly, cautiously, Tina stretched her arm forward. Gently, Artie took her hand in his, reaching up to peel away the fabric covering her wounds with another. As the lines slowly came into view, one by one, his eyes held more and more pain.
"Oh, Tee." His voice was soft and breathy, and the hitch at the end of her name bestowed the tears that now crawled down his cheeks. Tina couldn't handle it, and she pulled her hand from his, hugging it to her chest again.
"I have to go." She said, turning away from him, heading through the door to the auditorium and rushing as quickly out of the school as she could. She didn't think as she ran across the parking lot. She realized she had left her book bag on the side of the stage, but refused to turn around and get it. She didn't have any homework anyways. She'd just go early tomorrow and fetch it, she assured herself as she half walked half ran home.
As Tina ran away, Artie couldn't manage the words to stop her. He simply stared at his empty hand where hers had been, picturing the many cuts, some possibly weeks old, some from only last night. How could Tina, his Tina, ever want to do that to herself?
After a few moments, he finally snapped out of his trance. He looked back at the stage where he'd watched her, singing, completely bewitched by her. At the edge of it, he saw a black messenger. Tina's back pack. He wheeled out the door and back around the back were there was a wheelchair ramp leading to a door to the stage. He wheeled up to the bag and lifted it off the ground, holding it in his lap.
He slid his phone out of his pocket, quickly shooting his younger brother a text message that he would be late and to tell his parents so. Then he made his way out of the school and down the road to the Cohen-Chang residence.
End of chapter one.
I love this pairing *sigh*
Anyways… That's the first one… Its not too bad, right? Yeah, admittedly a bit dark, but that's life.
And it's a bit short, but hopefully I'll be able to remedy that later.
Hope it's tolerable! If not enjoyable!!
Like I said before, reviews are appreciated, positive or negative.
Until next time ...!