Soukoku Angst Week 2019 – Day 3: Illness/Disease or Hallucination/Illusion
"Look out!"
Dazai falls as he's pushed to the ground by someone, who turns out to be Atsushi-kun. The teen yelps as a dart sinks into his forearm, and Dazai sighs as he pulls himself into a crouch, dragging Atsushi down and under the next dart that flies over their heads.
"Don't hurt yourself on my account, Atsushi-kun," he begins as he plucks the dart out, ignoring the scuffles and groans behind him as Kunikida and Kenji decimate the last of the group they were fighting. "I would've avoided that dart even without your help."
He waits for an answer, but Atsushi doesn't reply – instead, the man-tiger stares at the place where the dart sunk in. There's a dark spot there, which swells into a little black skull. Which then opens its mouth to spew out a sentence.
I love Akutagawa Ryuunosuke.
They both stare at the sentence, then at each other for a good minute. Then Dazai breaks the silence, guffawing as Atsushi squeaks and covers the skull with the damning sentence with the remains of his tattered sleeve.
"Really, Atsushi-kun? Him of all people?" Atsushi doesn't reply, instead shooting to his feet and dashing off to stand awkwardly near Kunikida, who turns on him in order to lecture him. The teen looks as though he's regretted his choice, but one glance backwards at Dazai, who is still laughing his guts out, makes him stand his ground against the tirade from the blond detective. When the matter of his wound is brought up, everyone decides to dismiss it as a harmless side effect, since using Yosano-sensei's Ability doesn't send it away.
It turns out to be a bad idea.
Days later, the skull has multiplied, and Atsushi's skin is covered in sentences that spell out his secrets and guilts. Dazai isn't laughing now, focusing on the task of finding the culprit. The Port Mafia reaches out to the ADA, asking for assistance on tracking down the Ability user behind the newly dubbed 'Skullitis' – apparently, a few of their own members were unlucky enough to fall prey to it. One of the earliest victims is now bedridden, suffering from a raging fever. During one of his breaks, Dazai decides to pay a visit to see them.
It's Chuuya.
His skin is a myriad of black against flushed skin, words spelling out sentences that overlap and spread out over his entire body, some even encroaching on the skin of his face – Dazai can see the black lapping at the edges of the sharp jaw. Worst yet, those clear blue eyes that he falls into are now hazy with exhaustion, skipping over him every time he tries to get Chuuya's attention. He's stuck between trying to talk to an unresponsive petit mafiaso who stares blankly into the distance and surreptitiously sneaking peeks at the words on his skin. He doesn't like what he sees.
I don't know what it means to be alive. I stay up at night wondering whether I left anyone back at the facility. I regret killing Rimbaud – he was the only one who knew who I was before Arahabaki. I'm scared of my own powers. I helped Dazai escape Port Mafia. I hate Oda Sakunosuke for taking Dazai away. I drink at night to drown out the pain from using Corruption. I'm scared that Dazai will die and leave me alone. I don't want to die. I wish I could leave Port Mafia behind. I love Dazai Osamu.
Dazai stays at Chuuya's side for an hour more, then he leaves, throwing himself back into searching for the person that he's going to kill.
They finally track the Ability user down, cornering him in one of the various warehouses that line the port. The fight is bloody – Akutagawa is at the forefront, tearing through the enemy like shreds of paper while Dazai uses a gun for the first time in years, shooting at the Ability User who laughs like maniac, driven crazy by the weight of his own sins.
In the end, Dazai finally guns the madman down, punching him in the face for good measure. His Ability nullifies the effect of the darts, and they all rush back to the camp set out for the victims.
The camp is overflowing with people, and Akutagawa reaches Atsushi first, the black-haired mafiaso actually crying as he hugs the man-tiger in relief. But when Dazai approaches the last bed in the camp, he feels his heart sink to his feet.
Kouyou is bowed over the bed, shoulders shaking as she grips the cold hand that is overtaken with black.
"No."
Dazai's steps are heavy. He can't take his eyes off Chuuya's face, which is streaked with black words, blue eyes wide open in death. He can't breathe.
"Chuuya."
Kouyou suddenly lashes out at him, and he lands on his back, still staring at the bed which Chuuya died in. Which is replaced with Kouyou standing in front of him, screaming at him. He deserves every bit of it.
"He loved you! He loved you and you left him!" The world's spinning, now. All Dazai can think of is of Chuuya. Chuuya who loved him. Chuuya who helped him escape from Port Mafia. Chuuya who trusted him even though Dazai betrayed him so many times. Chuuya who's now dead.
It's all Dazai's fault.