He could feel the cotton fabric of Aoba's bedsheets beneath his trembling fingers. He could almost feel the pastel blue hues that he had spent many a night sleeping under, the warmth of Aoba's body pressed against his own.
The sound of the bedroom door sliding open startled him and he tried once more to open his eyes, to see rather than to feel, and the shock of his condition spiked within him, biting into him with a cold bitterness.
'Ren, it's me.' Aoba said, feeling a little helpless as he walked slowly over to the bed.
'I know.' Ren replied with a heavy sigh, tilting his head to pick up Aoba's location in the room. He listened to the gentle sigh of his jeans, the creak of the floorboard that was never fixed and probably never will be, the soft intake of Aoba's shakey breath. They both tried to hide their feelings, trying to protect the other from the hurt they felt inside. Though Ren would never again know the worried look on Aoba's face but in his memories, he had quickly learned to hear its presence. To feel it. As that was all he had left now.
The worn out springs of the mattress almost groaned, sinking under Aoba's weight as he sat himself carefully down next to him. They sat in silence for awhile, lost in the maze of their own tangled thoughts.
'Aoba...' Ren's voice was strained, barely containing his helplessness. Beneath the bandages wrapped tightly around his head came trails of moisture, sliding out beneath the tiny gap either side of the bridge of his nose. He couldn't stop them from falling, nor could he help the way his broad shoulders began to heave with the force of his sobs. '...Please don't leave me.' He whispered in gasps, collapsing into Aoba's chest as he felt his arms encase him.
'I would never leave you.'
'It is selfish... of me to ask this of you, Aoba. I cannot protect you like this... instead...I need you.'
The last words broke Aoba's heart. It shattered in two, tearing straight down the middle. He held onto Ren in a desperate embrace, resting his chin on the silky black mane of his hair.
'I promise to always be by your side, Ren. I only just got you back; I wont lose you again because of...this.'
Clinging to his fragile frame, Ren let Aoba's words fall over him, letting them chase away a fragment of the despair he felt inside. Sei's body was weak; weakened further by the sudden intrusion of Ren's existence. He listened to the nurses around him, picking out the differences int heir tone as the weeks dragged on and he regained consciousness. At first they had high hopes for a full recovery, but as time passed by it soon became evident parts of him were irreparably broken.
He didn't care that he would never see the world around him again. It was colourless without Aoba.
He didn't care that he would never see the changing of the seasons or the sun set again. It was meaningless without Aoba.
He only cared - his only regret - was never being able to gaze into Aoba's golden eyes with his own.
He had human arms to hug Aoba. Human legs to run alongside Aoba. A human heart to love Aoba. But he did not have human eyes to see Aoba. And he never would.