A new fic!!! It is yaoi of course, with various pairings. Firstly, I like to apologize to my other fic 'cruising love' 's readers. I am facing a really serious writer's block for that fic so should you have any ideas on how to continue, feel free to tell me. I will definitely consider it and if I use it, there will be acknowledgements. But don't worry, readers, I swear on my life that I will definitely not abandon that fic and someday, there will an update and it will be a long one as a form of apology.

Since I don't know how to continue that fic, one way to solve the problem for the time being, is to come up with a new fic. Actually, you can treat it as a prequel to Cruising Love since I said I would do one. But for those who haven't read that, you could just treat this as an entirely different fic altogether. I suppose it won't matter a lot since it's a prequel not a sequel.

Okay, here goes!

Title: Emptiness

Pairings: Implied s/j, yy/y, b/r.

Warnings: This fic contains yaoi.

Disclaimers: I don't own YGO, so don't bother to sue me since I haven't got any money anyway. I am really just a poor little girl.

~*~

To normal people, it was really a fine day. It was nice and sunny, the sky a beautiful cerulean blue with wisps of clouds. Gentle breeze, which ruffled hairs and birds singing with melodious voices. It was almost perfect and to top it all, it was Valentines Day. As a bonus from God, it actually fell on a Sunday and it was a gift to all happy couples. Chocolates which simply melt in one's mouth were almost sold out and flowers especially roses of all colors were swept away by boys whose eyes were shining with love and pure happiness. This was a typical Valentines Day's scene in Domino City, which was now full of young couples and a few senior pairs who just sat on benches in parks holding each other's hands, satisfied with the peace they felt.

Somewhere, along a street, which was too, crowded with people, a young blonde walked slowly. He was dressed in a pair of worn out blue jeans and a white t-shirt along with a pair of sneakers. His hands were stuffed in his pockets and his foot shuffled loudly against the ground, but the noise was lost in the others' endless chatter and rich laughter.

Jounochi Katsuya felt empty. It was not this day he hated. It was the emptiness he felt in his heart on this day, which he hated. He did not try to deny the fact that he was lonely though there were swarms of people around him. But every time it was Valentines Day, in these people's eyes, he was nothing. He was invisible and it was as though he never existed. He did not blame them, only one's lover would be important in one's eyes on this day. Jounochi was too used to this kind of scenario already. However, try as he might, he could never get use to the loneliness and the isolation he felt.

He thought of going to his friends. But he did not want to interrupt them. Yami would surely be cuddling with Yugi on the couch at home, and Ryou would be busy with Bakura doing God-knows-what. Anzu probably would be out with a boy or practicing dancing. Honda would probably be at home, dialing the number of every girl he knew to persuade them to go on a date with him. So that left him alone, with nobody.

He always came to the conclusion that he should just find someone. Honestly, he had tried that far too many times already. He knew he was not smart, but with his good looks, it was not that difficult to hook up a girl. But none of them worked out. When he was with them, he could not help but notice the heavy pang of hollowness in him. And there was always the same undesirable ending. He ended up alone, with his own empty shell.

He did not regret and he forgot about them the next day. But there always was this fact nagging at him.

It was the fact that, he, Jounochi Katsuya, could not find love. He did not even know how to love. He had never had that feeling before and he always wondered how it would feel like to be in love. A part of him was missing. He felt incomplete.

But instead of praying directly that he would be able to find someone to complete that part of him, he only prayed fervently that he would be able to get used to the feeling of emptiness.

~*~

Jou sat on the sandy white beach and watched the blue-green sea. He would come here on this day every year. The sunlight cast its bright strong rays on the vast expanse creating reflections and the shimmering only acted as a minor source of comfort for him as he watched the waves lapping gently on the shore.

At least the sea accompanied him. He wondered why there were so few people on the beach. 'Maybe it is outdated to be dating on beaches now.' he mused. 'Just as well. It will give me some peace and silence.'

Lying down on his back, he took a deep breath and closed his honey-colored eyes, willing himself to go to sleep. For only in his sleep, would he forget about the hollow feeling in him. Only in his sleep, he would be unaware of his surroundings. Only in his sleep, he could pretend that everything did not exist. As he slowly drifted into darkness, he could not help but let a small contented smile crept across his handsome features. The wind tugged playfully at his blonde hair but he was already lost.

~*~

Jounochi walked slowly and reluctantly back to his house with heavy footsteps. It was midnight and the silence that surrounded him like a veil was too much that it was almost deafening. He had slept through almost the whole day at the beach and he felt a small tinge of disappointment as he was reminded of the fact that he missed the sun set.

As he reached his front door, he hesitated for a while before inserting the key and turning the doorknob, bracing himself to avoid any glass bottle or sharp objects that might be thrown his way. The last time, a small table lamp hit him. It was not pretty and he had to lie to Yugi and the others to account for the bandage wrapped around his head.

To his mild surprise, nothing was hurled his way and unconsciously, he heaved a small sigh of relief while it sank into him that his father might be asleep. The room was dark but not to the extent that it was pitch dark so he could still see, thanks to the moonlight, which had seeped in through the window, which the curtain only covered partially. Every time he saw the curtain, he wondered why his father would care for one at all.

Looking around the room, Jou's breath hitched as he saw his dad's body on the ground. But he calmed down as soon as it registered in his mind that it was a big possibility that he was asleep and that he might just be able to appear in school for once without any bruises or bandages tomorrow.

Stepping past his dad so that he could get to his bedroom, he made sure not to make any major noise that would be sure to cut a line across his throat. In the dark, he vaguely saw a puddle where his father lay and cursed inwardly at this. It meant that he would have to clean up the mess first thing tomorrow morning, which meant he would have to wake up a little earlier. If it was anything he hated, it was waking up earlier. He loved sleeping.

He did not know why or how, but something he dreaded happened. He dropped his keys accidentally. It made a loud clinking noise. He shut his eyes, and waited for a drawling voice, which meant impending doom, to reach his ears. But it never came. After a while of silence, he opened his eyes, finding his father still asleep and in the exact same position as before. Confused yet relieved, he bent down on his knees, feeling around for his keys. It was not a good idea to find it in the morning, it would only give his father another reason to punish him with a shout of "Don't leave your keys lying around!" should his father wake up before him.

Since the dropping of keys did not even make his father stir, he assumed that turning on the lights would not do any harm. So he did that. When he turned around, his brown eyes widened. The puddle was red. It was blood and by the amount of it, his dad was badly injured. Near him was a broken bottle of liquor and the small table beside was covered with red murky liquid too.. He narrowed his eyes and advanced slowly towards the unconscious man.

"Dad?" he called out tentatively. Turning the man over, a gasp escaped his slightly parted lips as he saw the bloody face. Hesitantly and shakily, he raised a finger under the nose of the man he had come to fear and detest. He suddenly found himself unable to breathe. There was no breath. Forcing himself to take in air, he collapsed on the floor, mind blank and looking dazed.

He felt an indescribable feeling came over him as it barely registered in his mind. His father was dead. He was drunk and had hit the table by accident. The realization slowly sank into his still shocked mind. He was free. No more beatings. No more abusing. No more harsh words. No more fear. These thoughts dawned on him one by one. And each time, that indescribable feeling became more intense and more distinct. His father was dead. His nightmare was over. It was then, did he identify what he was feeling. A combination of joy and relief, and it was getting stronger by the second. A small part of him admonished him for not feeling sad, for not being a filial son, for not grieving. Jounochi's lips curled up into a bitter smile as he stared transfixed at the body in front of him, feeling a sickeningly strong emotion.

~*~

The next day, Jounochi had called in the school early in the morning to explain what happened. The principal's voice was irritatingly false as his words of how sorry he felt poured out of his mouth like a memorized speech. He had hung up with a statement, "You can rest at home as many days as you want, until you have fully recovered. Don't worry about your homework. I will get someone to pass it to you."

Jou knew the principal couldn't care less whether he came to school or not. The principal and the teachers seemed to have given up hope on him already. 'Maybe,' Jou thought as he smirked, 'I could go to school right away tomorrow just to spite them.'

The police had labeled the case under accidental death. (Is that what you call it? I am not too sure-_-0) Jou told them he did not want to see the dead body again. He said in a monotonous voice that it would only made him feel sadder. It was partially true. He did not want to see his father again and it would not be difficult not to miss him. The police gave him an assured smile. "Your father will be pleased to have such a filial son. He will rest in peace."

Jou inwardly snorted at this, but he plastered on a fake smile and silently wondered how gullible could the police get.

It was mid-morning when he decided to go for a walk, since he could not find anything else to do. However, it was not a nice and comfortable walk. One moment, he felt at peace. The next, he would be questioning himself if he should be feeling this way. Another moment, he would be wondering if his father was really gone for good. Due to all this, he did not notice anyone in front of him until he brushed past someone roughly. He mumbled an apology, not lifting his head. He was about to move on when a voice made him halt all his thoughts and he stopped in his tracks.

"Going blind this morning, mutt?" He could recognize that voice anywhere. No doubt about it, it was Seto Kaiba.

He turned around, feeling weary. 'Just the thing I need right now,' he thought sarcastically. 'An arrogant bastard to bother me.' Actually, he could very well just ignore him. He did not know why, but every time Kaiba gave a curt comment about him or taunted him, he felt the need to counter back or reply.

"Go find someone else to bother, Kaiba. I am not in the mood." He turned around and muttered a "bastard."

"Wait." A hand shot out and grabbed his wrist, pulling him back. Brown eyes met blue and for a second, both thought they saw longing in the other. Jou glared. "What do you want?"

Kaiba's face remained impassive as he spoke. "I heard about your father."

The blonde's eyes widened. News sure traveled fast. "Oh." there was a pause. "So what about it?" he mumbled.

The rich CEO smirked. "The puppy must be wallowing in his own grief right now. Emotions are certainly stupid."

There was a flash of anger in Jou's eyes as something in him snapped.

"What do you know about emotions, Kaiba? How do you know what I am feeling? How do you know I am grieving? What makes you so sure that I feel sad? Is it because I am suppose to? Tell you something. I DON'T." He lashed out. Jou felt a tear or two escaped his eyes. But he did not care. Although a tiny part of him was telling not him to give Kaiba the satisfaction of seeing him cry, the rest of him told him to give in to his emotions. It was hard to bottle everything up inside of him. "You won't understand what the fuck I am feeling. You never will. You don't know anything about me. Why don't you leave like you always did? Go on, leave. And don't turn back."

Blue eyes widened at the sight.

Above them, the slate gray sky seemed to know that it was time for it to unleash its rain. The raindrops came down in torrents, masking the tears, which now poured freely out of Jou's brown eyes.

"I saw him. He was still bleeding and he was dead. But I did not cry. Not even one drop of tear came. I felt happy. I felt free. I wanted him to die. I really did. I sat there and watched him, and I knew I smiled. I so was close to laughing." Jou collapsed onto his knees, his eyes lost and his words were almost incoherent. It took Kaiba extra effort to figure out what he was saying against the sound of the rain.

"Maybe if I had called the ambulance he would be saved. Maybe if I did something he would still be alive. But I didn't want to. He was my father. But I hated him. I am a monster. I am not even capable of a simple emotion like love." He looked up and stared at Kaiba and smiled bitterly. "Maybe you are even more capable of feelings than me." He laughed. "Maybe you could even teach me."

Kaiba lowered himself onto the ground so he was almost leveled to Jou. A small voice at the back of his head was asking him why he even cared and was telling him to leave this instant. But he could not. He placed both his hands on Jou's shoulder. "Pup, get a grip on yourself."

Jou stared up at him, whether it was the rain or real tears that streamed down his face, Kaiba did not know. "I wanted him dead. I wanted him dead." The blonde whispered softly. His eyes were pleading at Kaiba for him to do something. He did not know what he wanted him to do but he just wanted to be out of this turmoil.

The brunette did not know how to react but he felt himself drawing closer to Jou. And before he knew it, he had pressed his lips against the other's. Jou's eyes widened and his lips parted in a gasp, allowing Kaiba entrance. Jou tasted bitter sweet, a taste Kaiba wanted more of. His hand on Jou's left shoulder came down to his waist and tightened, pulling Jou against his body.

The blonde was in a daze. His mind was still in shock. He was only vaguely aware of the fact that he, Jounochi Katsuya, and Seto Kaiba were in the rain, kissing like there's no tomorrow.

When they broke for air, Jou laid his head on Kaiba's shoulder, one arm around his neck.

"Love is not a simple emotion. It is very complicated." Was the only thing the blue-eyed duelist said as he wrapped his arms tighter around Jou.

Jounochi clung on to him desperately, "Don't let go. Not now." His voice was hoarse and it was a near whisper. "I won't." was the response Kaiba gave. Jou knew he was weak and he might only be a pathetic little whimpering puppy in the blue eyes, but he didn't care. Nothing else matter, except the peace, which was now slowly coming over him and the warmth he felt.

Jou smiled a little and closed his eyes. Although the rain was getting heavier and it was starting to get cold, he noted that he felt warm. As he felt darkness pulling at him, he was vaguely aware of the fact that in Seto Kaiba's embrace, he felt the emptiness disappearing and he felt whole, something he never experienced before. And he found himself wondering, 'What was that feeling?' as he succumbed to his fatigue, once again lost.

~*~

To be continued…

~*~

First chap completed! *Dances in joy and open a bottle of champagne *

How was it? It's very different from Cruising Love isn't it? I think the style's quite different. If you read Cruising love, you will notice that in the third chapter it was stated that Jou liked the sea, so now you know why.

Oh well, hope you enjoyed it! By the way, the title for each chapter sometimes might not make sense so…

I might not stress so much on other couples since this fic centers on s/j.

See ya next time and don't forget to review if you like it!