AN: Okay, this is going to be a series of oneshots that happen in no particular order of time, except that they most likely happen after My Brother, My Child.

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or any of its characters.

The Joys of Piracy

"You want me to what?!"

"Why are you so surprised? Did you think I would only ask you once? I honestly don't understand what your problem is, Russell. No wonder Al thinks you don't like him."

That had been nine hours ago, when Russell was shocked speechless into watching Alphonse. It was true that they really didn't interact much, since Fletcher was the one who usually took care of him. But still . . . Did Al really think Russell didn't like him? He had tried to bond with Al during that day, but Al would only snuggle against Fletcher and peek at him. Fletcher would give his brother sympathetic looks and shrug his shoulders.

"Just give him some time, brother."

It was now six p.m., almost time for Ed to pick up Al on his way home from Central Headquarters (Ed thought it would be good if he let someone other than himself watch Al every now and then, though Al still stayed with him most of the time). Russell sat in a slouched position on his sofa, with his hand covering his eyes. Hearing the shuffling of tiny feet, he moved his hand and looked down. Al stood in front of him, his clenched fists at his sides and a look of determination on his face.

"Al, what is it? Is something wrong?"

Al looked at his feet for a moment, then looked back up.

"Are you a pirate?"

Russell almost fell over.

"What?"

"Are you a pirate, 'cause you look like one."

"How so?"

Al crawled up on his lap, and began messing with his hair.

"Are you hiding an eye patch?"

"Why would I be hiding an eye patch?"

"Your hair covers your eye, so I thought you were hiding an eye patch."

"Well, I'm not."

"Oh."

Russell frowned at the disappointment on Al's face, then had an idea.

"But you know what?"

Al tilted his head slightly to the side.

"What?"

"That's because I'm in disguise."

Al's eyes widened in wonder.

"Really?!"

"Uh-huh. And you know what else?"

"What?"

"If you make your brother my prisoner, I'll let you be a pirate too!"

Al thought really hard for a moment.

"Promise you won't hurt him?"

Russell chuckled.

"I promise I won't hurt your brother."

"Okay!"

At that moment, there was a knock at the door, and Ed entered the room.

"Hey, Al. It's time to go home now."

"Okay, but first I have to make you Russell's prisoner."

"Prisoner? What are you talking about?"

"Russell says if I make you his prisoner, I'll be a pirate."

Ed looked up at Russell, who was grinning. He turned his attention back to Al.

"Well, as much as I'd love to be Russell's prisoner, I'm afraid I can't let you do that."

Al hung his head in disappointment.

"Why?"

Ed, sighing, knelt down and picked him up.

"Because Uncle Roy is king of the pirates, and he wants me to be his prisoner."

Al gaped at him.

"Really?!"

"Uh-huh."

"Brother?"

"Yes, Al?"

"Can I make you Uncle Roy's prisoner?"

"Of course you can, Al."

Normally, Ed wouldn't think of doing something like this, but after everything Al had been through, he figured he could suffer a little indignity for Al's amusement. And besides, he figured that it would only last a week at the very most. On his way out the door, he looked at Russell.

"Hey, thanks for keeping an eye on Al for me. Tell Fletcher thanks too, okay?"

"No problem. Oh, and Ed, if you ever need me to watch him, I'll be glad to."

Ed smiled, nodded his head, and left. After he was gone, Fletcher walked in the room.

"And when were you planning on telling me you were a pirate, brother?"

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After Ed sat Al down in the car, Al scrambled excitedly on Roy's lap.

"Uncle Roy, guess what! I made brother your prisoner!"

"You did, did you?"

Roy gave Ed a confused look, and Ed gave Roy a 'ruin-his-fun-and-Amestris-will-be-in-need-of-a-new-Fuhrer' look. Roy decided to play along.

"Well, I thank you very much, Alphonse."

"Am I a pirate now?"

Roy smiled, ruffling Al's hair.

"Of course. You're my first mate."

Havoc looked in the rear-view mirror as he was driving.

"Hey! If he's your first mate, what does that make me?"

"My lackey."

". . . What does that make Hawkeye?"

Roy grinned.

"My wench."

That night, Roy felt it would be safer to sleep on the couch.

AN: This was another story that was stuck in my head. I love how children use their imagination and come to funny conclusions.