THE FRED CHRONICLES
By MoonSwirl
Chapter one
'Jake, Newton & life'
*Note: 'Claire' = the woman from 'Belonging' who worked with Fred at the library.
April 30th 1996 - Los Angeles, California
It was just past eleven in the morning. The sun was shining brightly and there was a gentle breeze outside. Basically, it was the kind of day where you just wanted to sit outside and relax. She wasn't one of those people. She preferred the comfort of the library. The rows of dusty books lining the wall were a bit like her life... organized, orderly... She found herself, as she did so often, sitting on the ground with a book in her lap. If it wasn't for the constant movement of her eyes over the words, and her hand turning the page every couple of minutes, someone could have thought she was a statue.
"Fred? Fred!" she thought she heard distantly. "Earth to Fred." Now she was sure. She lifted her eyes slowly, then her head. There stood her friend and co-worker, Claire.
Fred sprung to her feet so fast that Claire was startled. "I-I'm sorry," she managed, hints of a Texan accent noticeable as she spoke. "I-I guess I got distracted."
"Yeah well you better get to work. Steven's on the warpath." Fred nodded quickly, put the book back on its shelf, and returned to her cart. She busied herself at replacing the books where they belonged. She knew getting on her boss's bad side wasn't a very good idea; she knew it from past experiences.
"Burkle!" someone called from behind. She froze... it was Steven. She didn't even need to turn around as he walked around so that he was facing her. "Haven't finished re-shelving, have you?"
"I-I'm almost finished, sir," she said, hoping she didn't let her fear show. "I'll be done in five minutes, tops." 'You jerk,' she thought. Why did he have to be so hard on them?
"Next time," he said simply before walking away. Fred just stood there. She never understood his attitude with her. Several of her co-workers speculated that he had a crush on her, but she didn't listen. Besides, she was beyond happy with her current boyfriend.
"Is everything okay?" Claire asked her as she walked over to her.
"Yeah, it's fine," she assured smiling. She briefly looked up, and noticed a guy standing at the door, looking around.
"Ooh... Romeo's here," said Claire. Fred grinned and signaled him over. "I'll see you later," Claire whispered before rolling Fred's cart towards the next aisle. Fred straightened her clothes, smoothed out her hair, fixed her glasses, and grabbed at the apple-shaped locket on the chain around her neck.
"Hi, Jake!" she said shakily. She cared deeply about him, but she just felt as though there had been something off about him lately. He offered a short kiss as greeting.
"We're still on for tonight, right?" he asked.
"Yes! No..." she corrected suddenly. "I forgot. My boss wants me to work late tonight. Can we re-schedule?" she asked shyly.
Jake smiled. "Sure, no problem. I'll call you tomorrow." They kissed again and he left. Fred wasn't a violent person at all, but she really felt like beating up Steven at that moment. She'd been going out with Jake for almost two months and she'd cancelled on him more than half a dozen times. Most of those were due to work. 'So tonight's cancellation is my fault,' she thought.
There were times when she'd lied to Jake and just went home. It wasn't about him, it was her. She'd always had difficulties with people. She felt relaxed when she was by herself. There were exceptions, of course. She wasn't a complete loner.
She hadn't met a guy who could keep her from canceling, keep her relaxed. There wasn't anyone she knew that she could feel completely comfortable with. She knew he had to be somewhere and she'd find him sooner or later.
That night, she left the library and stopped to pick up a couple tacos. She drove home and just seconds after she'd entered her home and set down the bag of food, a large dog ran up to her.
"Hey, Newton!" she greeted the lab as she crouched and scratched the top of his head just the way he liked. "Guess what I brought you," she said as she grabbed the bag and reached in to snatch a piece off one of the tacos. The dog barked once and wagged his tail happily as she fed it to him.
She smiled and walked into the kitchen, the dog quickly following. She hung her keys above the phone and looked at the answering machine. One message. She pressed a button and went to get a plate and a bowl.
"Fred, it's Claire. I know you're there, so I was thinking... Since you've cancelled your date... again..." the woman spoke. Fred rolled her eyes. She knew her too well... "Maybe you'd like to join me and my sister at a movie or something. Girls' night out, you know? Call me, okay? If not then I'll see you tomorrow. Bye." The message ended.
Fred looked at the answering machine, reached for the phone, then withdrew her hand. She repeated the motion a couple times before finally taking a step back and turning to the plate and bowl that now held hers and Newton's dinners.
She nodded and picked them up. She headed to the living room with the dog behind her. She set down the bowl by the couch and sat down. Newton stopped and looked up at her. She was about to pick up her taco when she noticed his look.
"What is it?" she asked him. He still observed her. She sighed. "Come on, stop that." The dog slowly looked away and finally started to eat. Fred shook her head and picked up the remote control. Sometimes that dog was just weird.
*
May 1st 1996 - Los Angeles, California
"So he got up and he started to walk away. He turned back to say something, so of course he didn't see the crack on the ground. Landed right there, boom!" explained Claire as she and Fred sat down for lunch in the back of the library. Fred laughed.
"Is he okay?" she asked, referring to her friend's husband.
"Oh he's fine. Little red in the face and not because of a bruise." Claire observed her. Fred looked up and dropped her fork back in her salad.
"Why are people looking at me like that? First Newton, now you. Do I have something on my face? Is it suddenly 'Make Fred uncomfortable week' and no one told me? You know I get nervous and I think too much, and it's really starting to get to me and pretty soon I'm going to start yelling at random people that they shouldn't look at me and they're going to think I'm weird or something and..." Before she could continue, or possibly run out of breath, Claire stopped her.
"Alright, calm down. I'm just... concerned."
"What are you talking about?" asked Fred in confusion.
"You know what I'm talking about. You've been canceling on that honey of yours when you really didn't have to... many times." Fred wasn't liking this conversation and it was evident. Her posture had changed and so had her facial expression.
"I don't want to talk about it," she responded as she took a shaky bite of her salad.
"You HAVE to... it'll be good for you to just say it aloud."
"Claire, please," Fred said, not looking into the woman's face.
"Fine, fine. If you ever DO want to talk, I'm here." She smiled and they spent the rest of their lunch break in silence.
Claire had known Fred for a little while now, ever since the girl had started working at the library. She'd approached her and quickly realized she was quite smart. But she also had this tendency of pushing away potential friends. Claire wasn't sure how SHE'd managed to get through to her.
*
May 2nd 1996 - Los Angeles, California
"Steven, I have something to say to you. You have to stop treating us the way you do. Just because you're the boss doesn't mean you can use us as your little lackeys to get your lunch or your coffee, and make your phone calls, pick up this and that... You're a grown man, do it yourself!" said Fred.
"There's no way you'll ever say that to him," said Claire as she walked into the women's bathroom to find Fred standing about one foot away from the mirror. The girl was startled. "My point exactly," Claire laughed.
"It's not funny," said Fred as she sat on the counter.
"I just mean that no matter how determined you think you are, the second he looks at you, you're gonna turn into a stammering fool... No offense," said Claire as she walked to her.
"No, you're right," Fred sighed.
"You know... With the right look, all you'd have to do would be to bat your eyes and he'd be at-your-mercy..." Claire said playfully.
"Ha-ha," said Fred.
"So I didn't hear back from you last night," said Claire. She looked out in the mirror as she spoke, playing with her hair.
"Yeah, I-I was... busy..." she said, looking down at her dangling feet. "I went to bed early, so I figured there really wasn't any point..."
"Fred... you have to stop doing this. Just make up your mind already. Do you want to be with Jake or not? If you don't really care about him enough as boyfriend, you need to tell him."
"I can't... I can't do that to him."
"Are you happy with him? I mean REALLY happy? Would you stay with him to keep him happy while you're not?"
"I don't know..." said Fred, nearly on the verge of tears. Claire was trying to get her to confront this and hoping it would work.
"You've been miserable for weeks now! I saw you two many times and can practically point out the exact moment when your heart wasn't in it anymore... Fred, you have to do something, here!"
"Okay!" Fred exclaimed loudly. Her hand flew to her mouth as she went wide eyed.
"Finally..." said Claire with a smile. Fred looked at her, almost frightened.
"I-I... I'm... I think I'm gonna be sick..."
"Hey, hey, stop that right now," said Claire. She stood before Fred and placed her hands over the girl's hands, which now rested in her lap. "You can do this, I know you can."
"You said the opposite just minutes ago..."
"Well... I'll help you."
*
May 3rd 1996 - Los Angeles, California
"I'm really not sure about this," said Fred as she stood in the middle of her living room. Claire was sitting on the couch in front of her. Newton had made himself comfortable, resting next to Claire, his head on her lap.
"If you get a bit of practice before talking to him, you might feel a little less uncomfortable..."
"You know that never works with me," Fred pleaded, "If anything, it only makes things worse."
"Oh don't be a big baby. Now come on, pretend I'm Jake," said Claire, straightening up. Fred smiled.
"Jake doesn't sit like that."
"Look, that doesn't matter right now. Go on." Fred sighed and looked around the room and back to Claire. The woman nodded in encouragement.
"J-Jake, I need to talk... to you. I-I know that it might seem a bit... sudden, but..." At that moment she launched off into a long speech, gaining more speed and barely stopping to breathe. "I really don't feel like this is working out. Don't take me wrong, I like you a lot and everything, but it just doesn't feel right to me anymore. I hope you understand, I'm doing this for both you and me, so that we don't end up getting hurt. And hopefully we'll each find some happiness after today and maybe we can stay friends, because I don't want to lose you completely." She stopped. Claire, and even Newton stared at her in amazement. "So how was that?" asked Fred.
"Well at least we have your opinion straightened out," said Claire, "Now we just have to make sure you won't freak him out."
"This is hopeless," Fred sighed.
"No, it's not. Come here," Claire said, patting the empty spot next to her. Fred sat. "You just have to calm down a bit, you know? Don't rush off like you did before."
"Do you think I'll ever find him?" Fred asked slowly, playing with a strand of hair.
"What? Did you lose Jake's number or something?" Fred shook her head.
"No, not Jake... The guy who'll feel right. The one that I've waited for my whole life. The one who will make me want to reveal all those little secrets I was never able to tell anyone else... pieces of my life that I kept hidden for fear of a bad reaction or being laughed at for. The one who will be able to understand what I talk about and not just change the subject, and who won't mind when I start babbling... The one who'll like me for me, not some image he put into his head instead of me..." In the middle of her explanation, her voice began to shake, but she managed to keep herself together.
"Wow..." was all Claire could say.
"Don't get me wrong. Jake's not a bad guy. He's a great guy, just not the right one for me..."
"Then you need to tell him that," Claire spoke slowly.
"But how?" Fred said loudly as she got up, causing Claire to jump and Newton to bark. "I can't do that to him... he doesn't deserve it... he didn't do anything wrong..."
"And you don't deserve t be stuck in a relationship you don't want to be in anymore..." said Claire, getting up as well and standing in front of Fred. Newton had managed to remove his head from the woman's lap just in time. "You can do this..."
*
May 4th 1996 - Los Angeles, California
"Monday, I'll tell him on Monday... in two days," Fred thought as she placed book after book in their spaces. She'd never been this nervous about something, and she'd had plenty of nervous moments in her life. And she always tried to calm herself in the same way.
"Three point one, four, one, five, nine..." she mumbled to herself. "Two, six, five, three, five..." Already the numbers began to 'work their magic' and she felt lighter. "Eight, nine, seven, nine, three, two, three, eight, four, six..."
At that moment she heard the sound of hands clapping together behind her. She gasped, startled into dropping the book she'd just picked up. She crouched to retrieve it and turned. She was relieved t see Jake standing a couple feet back.
"Wow... I'm impressed," he said with a smile.
"T-Thank you," she replied nervously. "W-What are you doing here?" she asked innocently.
"Came to see you, of course. Well I figured, you know, work on a Saturday morning..." Fred felt even more nervous then. He was making it so much harder for her to do what she was supposed to do.
'Two, six, four, three, three, eight, three, two, seven, nine...' she resumed mentally. "That's very sweet of you," she smiled, "But I'm sort of busy right now, you know?"
"I do, I do. I was thinking we could go someplace tonight." She froze 'In two days! I'm supposed to do this in two days, not tonight...' She decided she owed him one last time.
"Okay, that sounds great. Uh... you can come pick me up at six, or something? I need to go home, feed the dog, change..."
"Alright, that's perfect. So I'll see you tonight," he confirmed with a short kiss, "And, uh, have fun with work." He winked and smiled and walked off.
Once he was out of sight, she leaned back against the books behind her, but quickly sprung forward again. She turned to see what had caused the reaction. One of the books wasn't quite pushed to the back and it had dug into her long enough to cause a pinch.
"Ouch," she said as she rubbed the spot on her back. She looked down at the book. It seemed strange... intriguing. She reached out her hand to pick it up. Just then, there was a voice calling her name. It was Claire.
"I'm coming!" she said quickly, louder than she's meant to. She pushed the book back and made a mental note to come back for it as she rolled her cart out of the foreign languages section.
*
May 5th 1996 - Los Angeles, California
Fred walked into the library with a hint of anger so subtle, only she knew it was there. Steven had pulled her aside just as she was leaving the previous afternoon, to tell her he needed her to come into work on Sunday. Today... her one day off.
He always did stuff like that... especially to her. At least she was getting paid double-time for it. She went to put away her jacked and headed for Steven's office.
She'd managed to keep her anger hidden throughout her date the previous night. Jake didn't need to hear about her boss and his supposed infatuation.
"I'm here," she said with a fake smile as she stood before him. "What do I have to do?"
"New shipment of books, tags, that sort of thing." He had her do this all the time as well. She nodded and headed to the room where new books were kept. What she was faced with at her arrival left her speechless. There must have been more than one or two hundred books.
"This is a joke," she almost yelled as she walked further into the room. "Right?" She sighed and walked to pick up a stack. She placed the books on a cart and wheeled them to a table equipped with a computer.
It was in those times where she wished she was back in Texas with her family. It was so much easier then. She missed her mom, her dad, her sister, her two brothers. She decided that she'd take a week off and go visit them soon.
She worked without a word for a few hours. She'd gone through almost half of it already. "Good," she thought. She left for a short lunch break, only leaving a note in case Steven decided to check on her and ducking out silently.
About half an hour later, she returned to the library. She was heading back to that room when the thought of the strange book came back to her. She started to head to the section when Steven came out of his office, cutting her path. She sighed.
"Where were you?" he asked slowly.
"Out to lunch," she answered, "Didn't expect me to keep on working on an empty stomach did you?" She could see his mind working on a reply.
"Just... get back to work," he said, going back to his office.
"Aye, Aye, Captain," she muttered with a mock salute. She worked a couple more hours. Finally, she was done. She was exhausted. She dragged herself out of the library and to her car, leaving all thoughts of the strange book behind. 'I'll check it out tomorrow,' she thought.
*
May 6th 1996 - Los Angeles, California
"It'll be okay," said Claire. She knew Fred probably needed all the encouragement she could get at the moment. "You can do this," she insisted, taking the girl's hands into her own. They were freezing, no surprise to her.
"I know, I know," Fred repeated to herself. She'd told Jake to come see her at the library during her lunch break. It was almost time.
"There he is," Claire said slowly. "Good luck." Fred smiled and Claire walked away. She led Jake into a corner of the library, where they wouldn't be disturbed.
They sat in silence for a few seconds. In that time, he observed her. He could tell there was something going on. What it was remained a mystery though. Finally she spoke.
"This is kinda hard for me to say, so please just listen, okay?" she said shakily.
"Sure. Is everything okay?" he asked with concern.
"Yes... and no." She sighed. "This... this just isn't working out for me," she finally said. 'There, it's out, now,' she thought.
"What is?" Jake asked, although in a way he already knew.
"Us... I've tried to ignore it. Believe me, I really did. I thought there was something off about you lately... turns out it was me. I wish I didn't have to do this. But it's the right thing to do. For me and for you. You're going to spend your life with the woman of your dreams. But it's not me," she said, feeling tears coming.
"It's okay. I wish I could have been the one for you, but I guess it just wasn't meant to be," he said, wiping away her tears.
"You're not angry?" she said with a smile.
"Not at all." She leaned forward and hugged him.
"Thank you," she whispered. They talked for a few more minutes, and then she walked him back to his car. They hugged once more and she watched as he drove off. She remained in the parking lot for a few minutes, then headed back inside.
Immediately, her mind brought up the strange book. She walked to the foreign languages section, straight for the row that held the book.
But when she arrived, the book wasn't there. She looked to make sure someone hadn't simply placed it in the wrong spot. She searched but found nothing.
"It's gone," she whispered to herself, disappointed.
Coming soon...
The Fred Chronicles
Chapter II - Foreign Languages
By MoonSwirl
Chapter one
'Jake, Newton & life'
*Note: 'Claire' = the woman from 'Belonging' who worked with Fred at the library.
April 30th 1996 - Los Angeles, California
It was just past eleven in the morning. The sun was shining brightly and there was a gentle breeze outside. Basically, it was the kind of day where you just wanted to sit outside and relax. She wasn't one of those people. She preferred the comfort of the library. The rows of dusty books lining the wall were a bit like her life... organized, orderly... She found herself, as she did so often, sitting on the ground with a book in her lap. If it wasn't for the constant movement of her eyes over the words, and her hand turning the page every couple of minutes, someone could have thought she was a statue.
"Fred? Fred!" she thought she heard distantly. "Earth to Fred." Now she was sure. She lifted her eyes slowly, then her head. There stood her friend and co-worker, Claire.
Fred sprung to her feet so fast that Claire was startled. "I-I'm sorry," she managed, hints of a Texan accent noticeable as she spoke. "I-I guess I got distracted."
"Yeah well you better get to work. Steven's on the warpath." Fred nodded quickly, put the book back on its shelf, and returned to her cart. She busied herself at replacing the books where they belonged. She knew getting on her boss's bad side wasn't a very good idea; she knew it from past experiences.
"Burkle!" someone called from behind. She froze... it was Steven. She didn't even need to turn around as he walked around so that he was facing her. "Haven't finished re-shelving, have you?"
"I-I'm almost finished, sir," she said, hoping she didn't let her fear show. "I'll be done in five minutes, tops." 'You jerk,' she thought. Why did he have to be so hard on them?
"Next time," he said simply before walking away. Fred just stood there. She never understood his attitude with her. Several of her co-workers speculated that he had a crush on her, but she didn't listen. Besides, she was beyond happy with her current boyfriend.
"Is everything okay?" Claire asked her as she walked over to her.
"Yeah, it's fine," she assured smiling. She briefly looked up, and noticed a guy standing at the door, looking around.
"Ooh... Romeo's here," said Claire. Fred grinned and signaled him over. "I'll see you later," Claire whispered before rolling Fred's cart towards the next aisle. Fred straightened her clothes, smoothed out her hair, fixed her glasses, and grabbed at the apple-shaped locket on the chain around her neck.
"Hi, Jake!" she said shakily. She cared deeply about him, but she just felt as though there had been something off about him lately. He offered a short kiss as greeting.
"We're still on for tonight, right?" he asked.
"Yes! No..." she corrected suddenly. "I forgot. My boss wants me to work late tonight. Can we re-schedule?" she asked shyly.
Jake smiled. "Sure, no problem. I'll call you tomorrow." They kissed again and he left. Fred wasn't a violent person at all, but she really felt like beating up Steven at that moment. She'd been going out with Jake for almost two months and she'd cancelled on him more than half a dozen times. Most of those were due to work. 'So tonight's cancellation is my fault,' she thought.
There were times when she'd lied to Jake and just went home. It wasn't about him, it was her. She'd always had difficulties with people. She felt relaxed when she was by herself. There were exceptions, of course. She wasn't a complete loner.
She hadn't met a guy who could keep her from canceling, keep her relaxed. There wasn't anyone she knew that she could feel completely comfortable with. She knew he had to be somewhere and she'd find him sooner or later.
That night, she left the library and stopped to pick up a couple tacos. She drove home and just seconds after she'd entered her home and set down the bag of food, a large dog ran up to her.
"Hey, Newton!" she greeted the lab as she crouched and scratched the top of his head just the way he liked. "Guess what I brought you," she said as she grabbed the bag and reached in to snatch a piece off one of the tacos. The dog barked once and wagged his tail happily as she fed it to him.
She smiled and walked into the kitchen, the dog quickly following. She hung her keys above the phone and looked at the answering machine. One message. She pressed a button and went to get a plate and a bowl.
"Fred, it's Claire. I know you're there, so I was thinking... Since you've cancelled your date... again..." the woman spoke. Fred rolled her eyes. She knew her too well... "Maybe you'd like to join me and my sister at a movie or something. Girls' night out, you know? Call me, okay? If not then I'll see you tomorrow. Bye." The message ended.
Fred looked at the answering machine, reached for the phone, then withdrew her hand. She repeated the motion a couple times before finally taking a step back and turning to the plate and bowl that now held hers and Newton's dinners.
She nodded and picked them up. She headed to the living room with the dog behind her. She set down the bowl by the couch and sat down. Newton stopped and looked up at her. She was about to pick up her taco when she noticed his look.
"What is it?" she asked him. He still observed her. She sighed. "Come on, stop that." The dog slowly looked away and finally started to eat. Fred shook her head and picked up the remote control. Sometimes that dog was just weird.
*
May 1st 1996 - Los Angeles, California
"So he got up and he started to walk away. He turned back to say something, so of course he didn't see the crack on the ground. Landed right there, boom!" explained Claire as she and Fred sat down for lunch in the back of the library. Fred laughed.
"Is he okay?" she asked, referring to her friend's husband.
"Oh he's fine. Little red in the face and not because of a bruise." Claire observed her. Fred looked up and dropped her fork back in her salad.
"Why are people looking at me like that? First Newton, now you. Do I have something on my face? Is it suddenly 'Make Fred uncomfortable week' and no one told me? You know I get nervous and I think too much, and it's really starting to get to me and pretty soon I'm going to start yelling at random people that they shouldn't look at me and they're going to think I'm weird or something and..." Before she could continue, or possibly run out of breath, Claire stopped her.
"Alright, calm down. I'm just... concerned."
"What are you talking about?" asked Fred in confusion.
"You know what I'm talking about. You've been canceling on that honey of yours when you really didn't have to... many times." Fred wasn't liking this conversation and it was evident. Her posture had changed and so had her facial expression.
"I don't want to talk about it," she responded as she took a shaky bite of her salad.
"You HAVE to... it'll be good for you to just say it aloud."
"Claire, please," Fred said, not looking into the woman's face.
"Fine, fine. If you ever DO want to talk, I'm here." She smiled and they spent the rest of their lunch break in silence.
Claire had known Fred for a little while now, ever since the girl had started working at the library. She'd approached her and quickly realized she was quite smart. But she also had this tendency of pushing away potential friends. Claire wasn't sure how SHE'd managed to get through to her.
*
May 2nd 1996 - Los Angeles, California
"Steven, I have something to say to you. You have to stop treating us the way you do. Just because you're the boss doesn't mean you can use us as your little lackeys to get your lunch or your coffee, and make your phone calls, pick up this and that... You're a grown man, do it yourself!" said Fred.
"There's no way you'll ever say that to him," said Claire as she walked into the women's bathroom to find Fred standing about one foot away from the mirror. The girl was startled. "My point exactly," Claire laughed.
"It's not funny," said Fred as she sat on the counter.
"I just mean that no matter how determined you think you are, the second he looks at you, you're gonna turn into a stammering fool... No offense," said Claire as she walked to her.
"No, you're right," Fred sighed.
"You know... With the right look, all you'd have to do would be to bat your eyes and he'd be at-your-mercy..." Claire said playfully.
"Ha-ha," said Fred.
"So I didn't hear back from you last night," said Claire. She looked out in the mirror as she spoke, playing with her hair.
"Yeah, I-I was... busy..." she said, looking down at her dangling feet. "I went to bed early, so I figured there really wasn't any point..."
"Fred... you have to stop doing this. Just make up your mind already. Do you want to be with Jake or not? If you don't really care about him enough as boyfriend, you need to tell him."
"I can't... I can't do that to him."
"Are you happy with him? I mean REALLY happy? Would you stay with him to keep him happy while you're not?"
"I don't know..." said Fred, nearly on the verge of tears. Claire was trying to get her to confront this and hoping it would work.
"You've been miserable for weeks now! I saw you two many times and can practically point out the exact moment when your heart wasn't in it anymore... Fred, you have to do something, here!"
"Okay!" Fred exclaimed loudly. Her hand flew to her mouth as she went wide eyed.
"Finally..." said Claire with a smile. Fred looked at her, almost frightened.
"I-I... I'm... I think I'm gonna be sick..."
"Hey, hey, stop that right now," said Claire. She stood before Fred and placed her hands over the girl's hands, which now rested in her lap. "You can do this, I know you can."
"You said the opposite just minutes ago..."
"Well... I'll help you."
*
May 3rd 1996 - Los Angeles, California
"I'm really not sure about this," said Fred as she stood in the middle of her living room. Claire was sitting on the couch in front of her. Newton had made himself comfortable, resting next to Claire, his head on her lap.
"If you get a bit of practice before talking to him, you might feel a little less uncomfortable..."
"You know that never works with me," Fred pleaded, "If anything, it only makes things worse."
"Oh don't be a big baby. Now come on, pretend I'm Jake," said Claire, straightening up. Fred smiled.
"Jake doesn't sit like that."
"Look, that doesn't matter right now. Go on." Fred sighed and looked around the room and back to Claire. The woman nodded in encouragement.
"J-Jake, I need to talk... to you. I-I know that it might seem a bit... sudden, but..." At that moment she launched off into a long speech, gaining more speed and barely stopping to breathe. "I really don't feel like this is working out. Don't take me wrong, I like you a lot and everything, but it just doesn't feel right to me anymore. I hope you understand, I'm doing this for both you and me, so that we don't end up getting hurt. And hopefully we'll each find some happiness after today and maybe we can stay friends, because I don't want to lose you completely." She stopped. Claire, and even Newton stared at her in amazement. "So how was that?" asked Fred.
"Well at least we have your opinion straightened out," said Claire, "Now we just have to make sure you won't freak him out."
"This is hopeless," Fred sighed.
"No, it's not. Come here," Claire said, patting the empty spot next to her. Fred sat. "You just have to calm down a bit, you know? Don't rush off like you did before."
"Do you think I'll ever find him?" Fred asked slowly, playing with a strand of hair.
"What? Did you lose Jake's number or something?" Fred shook her head.
"No, not Jake... The guy who'll feel right. The one that I've waited for my whole life. The one who will make me want to reveal all those little secrets I was never able to tell anyone else... pieces of my life that I kept hidden for fear of a bad reaction or being laughed at for. The one who will be able to understand what I talk about and not just change the subject, and who won't mind when I start babbling... The one who'll like me for me, not some image he put into his head instead of me..." In the middle of her explanation, her voice began to shake, but she managed to keep herself together.
"Wow..." was all Claire could say.
"Don't get me wrong. Jake's not a bad guy. He's a great guy, just not the right one for me..."
"Then you need to tell him that," Claire spoke slowly.
"But how?" Fred said loudly as she got up, causing Claire to jump and Newton to bark. "I can't do that to him... he doesn't deserve it... he didn't do anything wrong..."
"And you don't deserve t be stuck in a relationship you don't want to be in anymore..." said Claire, getting up as well and standing in front of Fred. Newton had managed to remove his head from the woman's lap just in time. "You can do this..."
*
May 4th 1996 - Los Angeles, California
"Monday, I'll tell him on Monday... in two days," Fred thought as she placed book after book in their spaces. She'd never been this nervous about something, and she'd had plenty of nervous moments in her life. And she always tried to calm herself in the same way.
"Three point one, four, one, five, nine..." she mumbled to herself. "Two, six, five, three, five..." Already the numbers began to 'work their magic' and she felt lighter. "Eight, nine, seven, nine, three, two, three, eight, four, six..."
At that moment she heard the sound of hands clapping together behind her. She gasped, startled into dropping the book she'd just picked up. She crouched to retrieve it and turned. She was relieved t see Jake standing a couple feet back.
"Wow... I'm impressed," he said with a smile.
"T-Thank you," she replied nervously. "W-What are you doing here?" she asked innocently.
"Came to see you, of course. Well I figured, you know, work on a Saturday morning..." Fred felt even more nervous then. He was making it so much harder for her to do what she was supposed to do.
'Two, six, four, three, three, eight, three, two, seven, nine...' she resumed mentally. "That's very sweet of you," she smiled, "But I'm sort of busy right now, you know?"
"I do, I do. I was thinking we could go someplace tonight." She froze 'In two days! I'm supposed to do this in two days, not tonight...' She decided she owed him one last time.
"Okay, that sounds great. Uh... you can come pick me up at six, or something? I need to go home, feed the dog, change..."
"Alright, that's perfect. So I'll see you tonight," he confirmed with a short kiss, "And, uh, have fun with work." He winked and smiled and walked off.
Once he was out of sight, she leaned back against the books behind her, but quickly sprung forward again. She turned to see what had caused the reaction. One of the books wasn't quite pushed to the back and it had dug into her long enough to cause a pinch.
"Ouch," she said as she rubbed the spot on her back. She looked down at the book. It seemed strange... intriguing. She reached out her hand to pick it up. Just then, there was a voice calling her name. It was Claire.
"I'm coming!" she said quickly, louder than she's meant to. She pushed the book back and made a mental note to come back for it as she rolled her cart out of the foreign languages section.
*
May 5th 1996 - Los Angeles, California
Fred walked into the library with a hint of anger so subtle, only she knew it was there. Steven had pulled her aside just as she was leaving the previous afternoon, to tell her he needed her to come into work on Sunday. Today... her one day off.
He always did stuff like that... especially to her. At least she was getting paid double-time for it. She went to put away her jacked and headed for Steven's office.
She'd managed to keep her anger hidden throughout her date the previous night. Jake didn't need to hear about her boss and his supposed infatuation.
"I'm here," she said with a fake smile as she stood before him. "What do I have to do?"
"New shipment of books, tags, that sort of thing." He had her do this all the time as well. She nodded and headed to the room where new books were kept. What she was faced with at her arrival left her speechless. There must have been more than one or two hundred books.
"This is a joke," she almost yelled as she walked further into the room. "Right?" She sighed and walked to pick up a stack. She placed the books on a cart and wheeled them to a table equipped with a computer.
It was in those times where she wished she was back in Texas with her family. It was so much easier then. She missed her mom, her dad, her sister, her two brothers. She decided that she'd take a week off and go visit them soon.
She worked without a word for a few hours. She'd gone through almost half of it already. "Good," she thought. She left for a short lunch break, only leaving a note in case Steven decided to check on her and ducking out silently.
About half an hour later, she returned to the library. She was heading back to that room when the thought of the strange book came back to her. She started to head to the section when Steven came out of his office, cutting her path. She sighed.
"Where were you?" he asked slowly.
"Out to lunch," she answered, "Didn't expect me to keep on working on an empty stomach did you?" She could see his mind working on a reply.
"Just... get back to work," he said, going back to his office.
"Aye, Aye, Captain," she muttered with a mock salute. She worked a couple more hours. Finally, she was done. She was exhausted. She dragged herself out of the library and to her car, leaving all thoughts of the strange book behind. 'I'll check it out tomorrow,' she thought.
*
May 6th 1996 - Los Angeles, California
"It'll be okay," said Claire. She knew Fred probably needed all the encouragement she could get at the moment. "You can do this," she insisted, taking the girl's hands into her own. They were freezing, no surprise to her.
"I know, I know," Fred repeated to herself. She'd told Jake to come see her at the library during her lunch break. It was almost time.
"There he is," Claire said slowly. "Good luck." Fred smiled and Claire walked away. She led Jake into a corner of the library, where they wouldn't be disturbed.
They sat in silence for a few seconds. In that time, he observed her. He could tell there was something going on. What it was remained a mystery though. Finally she spoke.
"This is kinda hard for me to say, so please just listen, okay?" she said shakily.
"Sure. Is everything okay?" he asked with concern.
"Yes... and no." She sighed. "This... this just isn't working out for me," she finally said. 'There, it's out, now,' she thought.
"What is?" Jake asked, although in a way he already knew.
"Us... I've tried to ignore it. Believe me, I really did. I thought there was something off about you lately... turns out it was me. I wish I didn't have to do this. But it's the right thing to do. For me and for you. You're going to spend your life with the woman of your dreams. But it's not me," she said, feeling tears coming.
"It's okay. I wish I could have been the one for you, but I guess it just wasn't meant to be," he said, wiping away her tears.
"You're not angry?" she said with a smile.
"Not at all." She leaned forward and hugged him.
"Thank you," she whispered. They talked for a few more minutes, and then she walked him back to his car. They hugged once more and she watched as he drove off. She remained in the parking lot for a few minutes, then headed back inside.
Immediately, her mind brought up the strange book. She walked to the foreign languages section, straight for the row that held the book.
But when she arrived, the book wasn't there. She looked to make sure someone hadn't simply placed it in the wrong spot. She searched but found nothing.
"It's gone," she whispered to herself, disappointed.
Coming soon...
The Fred Chronicles
Chapter II - Foreign Languages