this is an afterthought of the episode Masks.
disclaimer~I don't own Teen Titans
*~*~*~*~*~*
"He did not trust you, and you did not trust us."
Those words haunted him, dancing around his brain and chanting in his ears, never ceasing, and allowing
him no sleep. How could he have betrayed them. Betrayed her? Thinking about it now, that really was what he
had done.
In his desire to catch Slade once and for all, he had crossed the line. He had broken the law to
preserve the peace. Heaven only knew what Slade would have done with those chips. But that didn't excuse him
and he knew that now. Even Slade himself had said, "Two wrongs don't make a right." And he was right. Even
through all of the evil inside him, Slade was right. Now it was as though he was watching a bad movie over
and over in his brain, replaying the events of the previous days like a broken record. His own actions
sickened him, but at the time it had seemed so right.......
That look on her face, in her emerald eyes. She had been so dissappointed in what he had done. No, not
at what he had done, in him. She could not understand why he would do such a thing, to commit a crime to
catch the criminal. That in turn made him a criminal, and it was doubly worse because Slade had once again
been two steps ahead of him in both knowledge and tactics. Sladed had betrayed the betrayer.
And though Robin hated to admit it, even to himself in the privacy of his own room, that was what he
was, a betrayer. He had kept vital information from his team. He had put them all in danger. He had put Star
in danger. He was a fool.
He still could not get over that look in her eyes as she exited his room. It tore up his heart into tiny
itty-bitty bite sized pieces, threw it to the ground and stomped it into the dirt. He could handle the
critism, the lectures, and even the anger that was directed at him, but not her dissappointment. It made him
hate and dispise himself for letting her down. It destroyed him from the inside out, this guilt inside of him
that refused to be brushed aside. It ate at his soul in a way he never felt possible.
"I wish to understand..."
How could he hope to make her understand why he had done it? She knew how much he wanted to catch Slade,
how the desire to put him away for good haunted him, consumed him, Every encounter left him no further than
where he had been. It was intoxicating, the desire to find the elusive man who knew all about him and his
team.In truth, he didn't understand it all himself.
Batman would be ashamed of him. That thought registered mildly in the back of his subconcious. At the
moment, he really didn't care. All he cared was how she felt about it. What was she thinking. He supposed she
thought he was scum of the lowest form. He sure did.
Not able to sleep, he rose to get a snack. He entered the kitchen stealthily. the light of a full moon
illuminated the floor as he manuvered his way carefully in the dark towards the fridge.
"Robin?" A sweet voice called his name. He turned to see her, glowing almost in the light of the moon.
"Are you ill Robin? Why are you up at this hour?"
Yes I'm ill, he wanted to answer. I sicken of myself, and worse, I obviously sicken you. "No Star, I'm
fine. I can't sleep, I just came down for a snack. Why are you up?"
She moved to stand next to him, gesturing to the couch. "Would you like to talk, Robin?"
They walked over and sat next to each other silently. Her sigh broke the silence.
"I cannot sleep either. I cannot forget today."
Robin hung his head in shame. "I-I'm sorry Starfire. I shouldn't have become a criminal to stop a crime.
I know that now. Do you hate me?"
His question hung unanswered in the air for several moments. The tension was so thick you could have cut
it with a knife as she contemplated her answer.
"No Robin, I could never hate you. I forgive you for not trusting us."
"Thanks Star. I needed that."
"Shall we retrieve our snacks and return to our rooms then?"
"You go ahead Star, I think I'll stay here awhile." Star nodded.
"Alright Robin. Good Night." Star rose and returned to her romm as quietly as she had come."
At least she didn't hate him, and had even forgiven him. Those word alone were comforting to Robin as he
sat and watched the moon high in the sky above the Tower.
So even if he was a betrayer, a criminal even, he could live with that. And he could face tomorrow.
Come what may.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Well, it could have been better, but considering i wrote it in an hour, go me!
Ja'ne miina!
disclaimer~I don't own Teen Titans
*~*~*~*~*~*
"He did not trust you, and you did not trust us."
Those words haunted him, dancing around his brain and chanting in his ears, never ceasing, and allowing
him no sleep. How could he have betrayed them. Betrayed her? Thinking about it now, that really was what he
had done.
In his desire to catch Slade once and for all, he had crossed the line. He had broken the law to
preserve the peace. Heaven only knew what Slade would have done with those chips. But that didn't excuse him
and he knew that now. Even Slade himself had said, "Two wrongs don't make a right." And he was right. Even
through all of the evil inside him, Slade was right. Now it was as though he was watching a bad movie over
and over in his brain, replaying the events of the previous days like a broken record. His own actions
sickened him, but at the time it had seemed so right.......
That look on her face, in her emerald eyes. She had been so dissappointed in what he had done. No, not
at what he had done, in him. She could not understand why he would do such a thing, to commit a crime to
catch the criminal. That in turn made him a criminal, and it was doubly worse because Slade had once again
been two steps ahead of him in both knowledge and tactics. Sladed had betrayed the betrayer.
And though Robin hated to admit it, even to himself in the privacy of his own room, that was what he
was, a betrayer. He had kept vital information from his team. He had put them all in danger. He had put Star
in danger. He was a fool.
He still could not get over that look in her eyes as she exited his room. It tore up his heart into tiny
itty-bitty bite sized pieces, threw it to the ground and stomped it into the dirt. He could handle the
critism, the lectures, and even the anger that was directed at him, but not her dissappointment. It made him
hate and dispise himself for letting her down. It destroyed him from the inside out, this guilt inside of him
that refused to be brushed aside. It ate at his soul in a way he never felt possible.
"I wish to understand..."
How could he hope to make her understand why he had done it? She knew how much he wanted to catch Slade,
how the desire to put him away for good haunted him, consumed him, Every encounter left him no further than
where he had been. It was intoxicating, the desire to find the elusive man who knew all about him and his
team.In truth, he didn't understand it all himself.
Batman would be ashamed of him. That thought registered mildly in the back of his subconcious. At the
moment, he really didn't care. All he cared was how she felt about it. What was she thinking. He supposed she
thought he was scum of the lowest form. He sure did.
Not able to sleep, he rose to get a snack. He entered the kitchen stealthily. the light of a full moon
illuminated the floor as he manuvered his way carefully in the dark towards the fridge.
"Robin?" A sweet voice called his name. He turned to see her, glowing almost in the light of the moon.
"Are you ill Robin? Why are you up at this hour?"
Yes I'm ill, he wanted to answer. I sicken of myself, and worse, I obviously sicken you. "No Star, I'm
fine. I can't sleep, I just came down for a snack. Why are you up?"
She moved to stand next to him, gesturing to the couch. "Would you like to talk, Robin?"
They walked over and sat next to each other silently. Her sigh broke the silence.
"I cannot sleep either. I cannot forget today."
Robin hung his head in shame. "I-I'm sorry Starfire. I shouldn't have become a criminal to stop a crime.
I know that now. Do you hate me?"
His question hung unanswered in the air for several moments. The tension was so thick you could have cut
it with a knife as she contemplated her answer.
"No Robin, I could never hate you. I forgive you for not trusting us."
"Thanks Star. I needed that."
"Shall we retrieve our snacks and return to our rooms then?"
"You go ahead Star, I think I'll stay here awhile." Star nodded.
"Alright Robin. Good Night." Star rose and returned to her romm as quietly as she had come."
At least she didn't hate him, and had even forgiven him. Those word alone were comforting to Robin as he
sat and watched the moon high in the sky above the Tower.
So even if he was a betrayer, a criminal even, he could live with that. And he could face tomorrow.
Come what may.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Well, it could have been better, but considering i wrote it in an hour, go me!
Ja'ne miina!