"Like it or not, Sam – you seem to be able to talk to her in a way that no one else can. Maybe it's because you've got Grace – I don't know, but right now you're the only one she might listen too." Charlie commented down the phone. He had tried to talk sense into Connie himself. Duffy had tried. Ethan had tried. Even Jacob. Now it was a case of desperate measures – the man who could probably get through to her lived thousands of miles away. It's no wonder Connie felt alone.

"Except I'm afraid that I might have burnt that bridge when I did a midnight flit with our daughter." Sam sighed in response. "Do you know what's wrong with her, Charlie? - Has she told you?"

"Not in so many words." The nurse admitted. "When I spoke to her earlier at the hospital, She didn't specifically admit to anything, but she more or less confirmed what I suspected and when I came to her house just now to try and talk to her again..."

"What did she say?" Sam interrupted, desperate to hurry the explanation to the information he needed.

"She didn't. I don't think she saw me – she was getting into her car and she drove off. She's not long been back from her shift at the hospital and she's obviously been straight home, but – she's cut her hair, Sam – between now and leaving work earlier. So what does that suggest to you?"

Sam went quiet. "That she's having Chemotherapy and her hair is falling out – it's the first thing I did."

"Exactly what I suspected." Charlie agreed. "You should be here, Sam – you and Grace. Connie needs you both, but in the meantime – please call her."

Connie

I don't know how long I've been sat here – a couple of hours, maybe more. It's dark now and it wasn't when I arrived. I don't know why I'm still here. Summing up courage maybe – if courage is the right word. Courage to battle my Cancer – or not as the case maybe, who knows how long it will take.

My mobile rings and I glance at the screen. 'Sam mobile' is flashing before my eyes. The man I want to talk to more than anyone – and the man I never want to speak to again. I consider cancelling his call, because I still have no idea how to talk to him after the way he left. I have no idea how to tell him and Grace about the Cancer – the thing that might prevent me from ever seeing them again. I still hope to join them in Aspen in a few weeks, but my hope is fading rapidly as the illness and the effects of the treatment take hold. I'm exhausted. I wish more than anything that we could go back to how we were right before they left – but we can't. That is nothing more than a distant dream now – sometimes I wonder whether that happened at all.

It might be easier in the long run, to ignore them now – easier for them, not for me. It's easier for them if they don't know anything. I don't want them to know how much I suffered. How much it hurt not being with them – knowing that I'd never be with them. All I ever wanted is to be a good mother, but I've screwed that up at every opportunity. I really believed that Sam loved me and that this was a new start for the three of us. Now I wonder if he ever loved me at all. Maybe he did – maybe he didn't. Maybe he was just trying to keep me quiet – lull me into a false sense of security, so that he could whip Grace away in the night when she was well enough. Deep down I find it hard to believe that Sam could be that cruel and I long for there to be a reason behind it all, because it destroyed me inside. I suppose I'll never know now.

I'm never going to see my daughter again – and I'm never going to see Sam again. Maybe this – this tumour is my punishment for all the times I've messed up with Grace. It's the most painful punishment anyone could give me. More painful than the Chemotherapy – watching my hair fall out and my life ebbing away. I only hope it gets easier for them and in time they both realise that they're better off without me.

The screen of my phone is still flashing Sam's name urgently. He's not giving up and he's one of the two voices I want to hear most in the whole word right now, so I decide to pick up after all, but I still have no idea what to say to him, so I pick up and say nothing.

"Connie?" He asks the silence eventually. "Are you there?"

"Yeah" I answer, my voice empty of emotion – I can't let on that I'm suffering, if it's the last thing I can give them, I'll give them that. "I'm here." For now, anyway.

There's a hesitant pause and I can tell that he's debating how to start whatever conversation he rang for. He eventually decides on the direct approach. "You've got Cancer haven't you?"

"What? How do you know that?" I demand, unable to deny it.

"I spoke to Charlie – he came to your house trying to talk to you as you left. He said you've cut your hair...When I had Cancer, one of the first things I did was shave my hair off. You're having Chemo and your hair's falling out." He said quietly.

I see no point beating around the bush. He's not – so I won't either. "It's a Cardiothoracic tumour, but so what?" I mutter down the phone. "Maybe it's what I deserve."

Now it's his turn to be confused. "What do you mean – 'it's what you deserve?'!"

"I've screwed up with Grace so many times – and I screwed you up right from the start..."

"Wait – what do you mean you screwed me up?!" he interrupts with all his usual arrogance.

"Oh, you know exactly what I mean!" I argue. "And maybe this is my punishment – to die without seeing you or Grace again."

"Your punishment...?" He starts.

I cut him off. "Grace is so much happier with you, Sam – as you keep telling me."

"And what about me?!" He interjects, suddenly sounding angry.

"What about you?! You made it quite clear that you don't want me."

"You think you're alone in this!" Sam retorts. "But-"

"And why is that Sam?" I exclaim, cutting him off again. "Who was it that promised me a new family life for the 3 of us? - Who was it that then took our daughter and disappeared with her in the night? - Who was it that 'forgot' to inform me of any of their plans?!" I state bitterly. "Huh? Who was that, Sam? So don't you dare get angry with me for thinking that I'm alone."

"I'm sorry" He whispers down the phone.

Sorry? He's sorry! That's his response? I can't speak for a minute and just shake my head tearfully – though I'm aware that he can't see me.

"You're not going to die, Con." He tells me quietly.

"Oh, you know that, do you?" I snap sharply.

"Just hold on for a bit long and you won't be alone." He says. "We're coming back."

"Are you?" I murmur, wondering if he really said that.

"Yes. We're on the plane right now." He tells me. "Because we love you – and on that note, somebody wants to speak to you..."

"Mummy?"

"Gracie!" I exclaim tearfully – but for once I'm crying because I'm happy. "Hello darling.

"I miss you" She says. "I love you so much, Mummy – I can't wait to see you."

"I love you too and I can't wait to see you either." I whisper.

"Daddy wants to speak to you again."

"I love you too, Connie." He tells me – with genuine love in his voice. "Always."

"I love you too, Sam." I whisper.

After the call ends, I stare in front of me, past my dangling legs – down into the ravine where my exploded car once was. It was a fitting pit for my despair. Sam and Grace were gone, I was no longer fit to work and the Cancer was taking over - no matter how hard I tried to stop it, but my hope is restored. I manage a smile as I stand up and walk back to my car.

Everybody knows that everyone dies – but not this way.

And not today.