I do not own this book. This story took me a long time to finish, and I'm so glad I finally got it done.
My name is Clay.. and I've been thinking of her again. How can I say again.. I haven't stopped and I don't think I ever will stop thinking of her. I won't ever stop thinking of her. Not till my last breath that I fucking take.
Her name was Hannah… Hannah Baker… and she killed herself 3 months, 2 weeks, 5 days, and 1 hour ago. She was gorgeous... treated horribly by a rumor that escalated into a tragedy… I miss her a lot. And as time goes by, all who remembers is her parents, the people who caused it, and me. But I could have done something. I know I could have. I was the only one she didn't blame for it all. But instead of staying with her at the party, I left. It all could have been re-written if I stayed. But, she taught me to help… so I helped Skye. And now we have been seeing each other and in a couple more days, I will get to be inside her soon... I'm not going to fuck her senseless like some douche bag… I am going to make love to her till all she can do is finally say I love you. I would love to have heard Hannah say that when she was alive…
But crying over her is not the point of the story anymore... not till today.
I turned over in my gray, soft sheets. The cold outside made the blankets and sheets feel better than ever before. I cuddled into the pillow; the cool silk touched my face in the most luxurious way. I jolted my elbow into the bed to turn to the other side of my ribs to get a better rest since I could sleep in since it was Christmas Break. I opened my eyes… and there she was... Hannah Baker. I snickered to myself. Oh… lovely dreams trying to trick me into hurting again. I reached out my hand to make it fade away only to have my hand in her wavy curls. Real hair.
"Hi." She whispered. My droopy eyes flung open, it felt like my eyes would fall out of my own eyes. I choked on my breath. My heart rocketed into my ass. My whole perception backed flipped and fuzzed up. I let out a giant shout of… multiple emotions really... fear… surprise. So many thoughts and emotions rumbled inside of me. Hannah jumped up from the bed; I took a good look at her. She was naked, her body shined in the dim light. Her pale porcelain skin looked amazing even for someone who is supposed to be dead.
"Hannah!" I breathed out. "Wha-What the fuck are you doing here?" I started to breathe harder and harder, I would have gotten up. But I started to get red cause I was in my pajamas… which are just my boxer shorts. I knew she knew I was blushing, and why I was. She wasn't dumb. She never was. She was one of the smartest girls I've ever met.
"You brought me here." She turned her head, but not her naked body. It was making me hard… I knew I had to hide it, so I turned my body so I won't pitch a tent for her to see. But I hoped if I did pitch it, she would want to touch it or more… What am I saying, she's dead for Christ sake. But, still… the only girl I ever truly loved… Who I've wanted back… is naked in my room. I unreeled myself for my thoughts to comment on what she said.
"What do you mean brought you here?" I asked. She smiled, turning to sit on a rocking chair. She pulled up her knees to her breasts so I couldn't see them, but I got a glimpse of her pussy. I gulped down harder than I had chosen to; I started to cough my lungs out. But I still had to keep my poise. I couldn't let her get to my manhood.
"You wanted me so bad, now I'm here. And I want you back, all of you." I about dropped dead right then and there when I heard her words come out of her innocent mouth. Hannah was always the innocent type. Doesn't kiss on the first date type of a girl. Well… to me it did… and I never even went on a real date with her.
"Hannah, you came back to fuck me?" I choked out. Right when I said "fuck" instead of "make love" to Hannah, I felt like shit. I wanted to puke. Good job Clay, tell a nice girl you want to fuck.
"Yes and no." She was so calm with saying all of this. It was like she was ready for it… or just didn't care and wanted to get over it. She wouldn't even look me in the eye when she talked to me. She was looking out the god damn window.
"Felt sorry for me and wanted to just make me not think about you anymore." My anger was popping out. She didn't care, did she? She shook her head and looked into me.
"I love you, Clay. I want to do this. I know you are going to give it to Skye after this, I'm doing this so you won't ever forget about me." Tears silently started to pour out of her eyes, but she didn't look away. She was still in the same sitting position.
"I won't forget about you, I loved you before I loved her." I said, wishing I could go up to her. But when I did she looked away… back to the outside world where she used to belong.
"I'll take you out there after we… do it." I kept burning up when I thought of having sex with Hannah. Her skin against mine as we are both breathing hard from everything that will happen. If she is still is able to breathe at all.
"Promise?" She asked, raising an eye brow in question.
"Promise." I told her, giving her a faint smile. She gave one back, and in a blink… she was in front of the bed. I was still shaking under the covers… I was still trying to accept what was happening. My spit felt like it was clogging up in my throat. I didn't want to… what about Skye. But, I pushed those thoughts into the back of my head. I've always wanted her. And now, I have her all to myself. She is with me right here, right now.
She was naked, in front of me. I glanced at every portion of her body. To her pale wavy blond hair to the tips of her painted nails. It didn't even look like she had been in a casket at all. She seems like the same girl who walked down the halls at school, with a future ahead of her. She was gorgeous. I held out my hand to help her in, I glanced at her to see if she truly wanted it. She took my hand without hesitation and climbed in.
"Do we need protection?" Right after I asked, the answer made me almost vomit.
"We don't need it, I'm dead… remember?" She said, her smile was one to make me feel better. But, it didn't work at all.
"I remember, I have remembered every day I wake up. I think I'm the only one who does." It came out harsher than I expected. I could see tears glistening in her eyes, but she got closer and started to kiss me.
She slowly kissed my lower lip, over lapping it with her upper lip. It was just like at the party, except this time… I know she won't be back again. I know I shouldn't be enjoying this. I shouldn't be getting a hard on. I know I should be staying faithful to Skye, I know she deserves someone who loves her. Someone who's heart doesn't also love another person besides her. But, I know my heart will always belong to Hannah.
No one else will take her place.
I started to kiss her back, her lips felt warm. I barely knew what to do with my hands anymore, Skye and I have gotten to making out and everything. A little touch here and there also. But, I know this time I will get farther, with another girl.
Her hands started to rub my back, pulling me on top of her. My whole body felt like jelly, except one part was hard as a rock. Her naked body was underneath me, I saw many pornos to know that the boobs look smaller if she is lying down and is more fun when she is on top. But, I followed her movement of her body and hands in sync.
Her hands went from the bottom of my back to the rim of my boxers, they were getting pulled down. Before my manhood was visible, I stopped her hand. She stopped kissing me, and looked into my eyes.
"I… Don't laugh, okay?" I finally said something right. I didn't want her to make fun of me, I didn't know if I was big or small or even medium.
"I won't laugh." She didn't give out even a hint of emotion as she pulled my boxers down to show my member. I shook it off, even with my pants down… she still showed no emotion. I was exposed to her, and she barley even blinked. Is this what death is like? Emotionless and cold to the people you love? If that is what death is… I don't want to go. She opened her legs and stared at me.
"Do you want it in?" I asked, stupidly. All she did was nod. That's all she has been doing, agreeing without even a hint of wanting it. I sighed, and moved down a little to her entrance. It seemed wet, did she want it?
I slid it in; as I did she flipped us over so she was on top. I felt a huge wave of electricity run threw me, like a million bolts broke out at once without warning. I let out a low moan at the same time she did, and I clamped my hands onto her hips to get her deeper. Then I remembered…
"Hey, Clay… Can I ask you something?" Skye barely whispered as I caressed her under a tree. The breeze blowing on us was making her hair blow into my face.
"Sure, ask away." I closed my eyes, trying to relax with my girl in the park. I closed my eyes tighter to try to get rid of the thought that this park was the place Hannah had her down fall.
"Promise to never cheat on me? Never leave me for a better girl?" Her voice cracked as she said every word. I held her tighter and kissed her.
"I would never hurt you like that, Skye. I love you." She smiled when I did, we were so happy.
I didn't stop touching her soft, smooth skin. I closed my eyes, the pleasure was increasing. My body shook from the pleasure. Then I heard it… I wish I didn't hear it.
"Let me die. I want to go." I opened my eyes to see her crying. She still kept going on me even though she was sad. The last tape recording played through my head.
She only let him touch her so she could let go.
"Hannah! Don't you dare let go on me again!" I yelled, she wasn't listening to me. She just kept ignoring me, doing what needed to be done.
"I know you still love me, you have to let me go. I need to leave here." She insisted, tears coming down.
"But… I need you!" I felt my own eyes watering up. She started to cry harder.
"But, I need to move on. Let me go." She started to fade away.
"Then why did you come back?" I yelled again, tears started to come down. Her disappearing hand whipped the tears away.
"You are the only one who is keeping me here. You still love me, you haven't accepted my death. I never got to show you my love, here it is. Now, let me go. Let me be happy." She smiled when the last word came out of her mouth.
"I'm so sorry." I closed my eyes and started to cry… I let her go. "I wanted to take you outside…"
I opened my eyes, she wasn't there anymore. I slowly got up from bed pulling up my boxers; soon breaking into a sprint to the toilet where I puke everything I ate… which was nothing, so it was mostly just water I puked up. I walked back out into my room, but just slumped down onto the door frame. Was it real or just a dream?
Then I saw a tape, labeled #14 on my desk. It wasn't a dream, was it? I ran up to it, touched it. It was real! I clutched onto it, ran to my closet to get a coat, shoved the tape into the pocket, and raced to the garage for the tape player. I didn't care what time it was, I needed to hear this tape.
I got to the tape recorder in less than 3 minutes without anyone hearing me. But another minute to find the player and to make it work again so I could play it without trouble. My trembling fingers put the tape into it, and my fingers could barely even press play. I gulped down the lump in my throat.
Then I pressed play.
Hello Clay, this is tape 14. You don't have to listen to this. There will be no punishment if you do not play this. The only people who know of this tape are me and you. When you are finished with this tape it will disappear. If you do not want to listen to it, throw it away. And it will disappear. Forever. And you will never be able to hear it. Those are the rules. I'll count to 10, and then I will continue. 10… 9… 8… 7… 6… 5… 4… 3… 2… 1. You stayed, Clay. Thank you. You are the only one who truly remembers my death. To some that could be a good thing or bad. But, your love… It kept me on Earth. I couldn't go to heaven. I couldn't leave. And, I wanted to go. I had relatives waiting for me. I wanted to see them, but your love made me stay. Then, you and Skye were going to make love. Your thoughts of making love to her, transferred to me. The only way I could get out, is if I finally made you let go. And you let go… Thank you. I still remember the promise of going outside… There is a lily on the pillow. They were my favorite. It's beautiful outside isn't it…? Oh, I'm just rambling aren't I?
"No, you are fine Hannah." I said, tears slipping. "Keep talking…please."
Clay, don't blame yourself for what happened though… You helped me. You were always there. But, remember when I said help others… I did mean Skye. I want you to love her like you loved me. Make her happy, treat her right… Now forget me… Please… I love you, Clay. Be good.
"Don't go…" I whispered, tears started to go down faster, crashing down on the table.
Goodbye, Clay.
Well, that was it. There will be no chapter 2 or 3. This is it. It is only a short story. Maybe if this gets a good review, maybe an after story.
A couple of American Horror Story stories (Mature) to come, and another chapter of Serpent's Curse in a week or less.