A/N: Possible one shot, if you guys want more just tell me. I do have a lot planned for this, so yanno just tell me what you want. Any criticism is better than none so please read and review. Enjoy
Disclaimer: Dick Wolf owns them, not me… unfortunately.
"I was raped." Tears were in her eyes as she spoke. "I didn't even see him coming, I-" She stuttered, "I was listening to music. He was on me in seconds. I begged him to stop, but he said if I kept screaming he would kill me. So I stopped… I had to listen to each pant and moan he made as he continuously entered me."
"Did you get a look at his face?" Olivia said with sympathetic eyes.
"No. I was too afraid to look at him."
"Okay. A nurse is going to come and do a rape kit. Would you like me to stay?"
"No, I just want to be alone."
"Okay." Olivia said softly. She left the hospital room and joined her partner Nick outside.
"Amy Willis 28. The perp attacked her from behind, she can't give a description, didn't get a look at his face." Olivia said. Fifteen years but it wasn't getting easier. The cases, the victims. Olivia sighed in exasperation, "I'm so sick of this." She said quietly.
"Liv, you're making a bigger difference then you realize." Nick reassured her. He felt the same way, it didn't matter if they collared a hundred rapists, there would always be one more. No matter how many late nights they stayed up trying to put the pieces together, no matter what they did it was never good enough. Olivia and Nick were trying to make good in a world that was just to evil.
"Yeah, I know." Olivia said dryly.
Nick followed Olivia outside of the hospital room and into their squad car. Olivia drove while Nick sat in the passenger seat. They drove in stillness for a while. Olivia knew Nick would say something, she just didn't know what. She didn't want to talk about what happened the other night; Nick and her had come so close to making their partnership something more. Olivia had almost with Elliot, but he never reciprocated. Olivia crossed the line when she kissed him the other night. A soft quick kiss, she held her lips on his for a while and then quickly pulled them back in shock. She mentally scolded herself but her thoughts were interrupted when Nick kissed her back.
"Are we going to talk about it?" Nick said, breaking the silence that filled the air.
"Not here, no." Olivia answered firmly, "You can come over and we'll discuss it then," She paused, "until then we have a case to solve."
The day dragged on, Olivia was thankful for it. She didn't want to have to face Nick and explain her actions. She felt guilty, she betrayed Brian. He didn't deserve that, but who was she kidding she and Brian were wrong from the start. It was a mistake the first time she had sleep with him. Olivia only moved in with him because she felt forced, after what happened with Lewis she knew everyone would feel better if they knew she was going home to someone instead alone.
Olivia finished her paperwork for the day and headed home, thankfully Brian was out of town on business so she wouldn't have to tell him about the kiss between her and Nick. Eventually she would have to confess her indiscretions, but his business trip gave her an extra day or two to figure out exactly how she was going to tell him.
Olivia drove home, taking the long way. As she drove she noticed the relaxing scenery of the city. It was six o'clock, not a lot of cars were out, the streets were quiet, and the sun was just beginning to set. Olivia inhaled and exhaled so appreciative of the moment that stood before her eyes, having come so close to death she learned to love the simplicity that the world had to offer her.
Nick was standing in Olivia's driveway; she pulled her blue Sedan in cautiously, trying her best not to hit her partner.
"Ya gonna move?" Olivia said with a smile, as she playfully honked her horn.
"Yes Olivia I'll move." Nick said with a smirk. Nick walked to front door of her apartment, unlocking it with his spare key.
"That's only for emergencies, not for fun." Olivia said as she followed Nick inside.
"Yeah?" Nick questioned as he played with the key in his hand. Olivia rolled her eyes.
"Wanna drink?" Olivia said as entered her kitchen, opening the cabinet above the refrigerator. She stood on her toes, straining her arms in an attempt to grab the red wine.
"Let me." Nick came from behind and brushed his body past hers, without any difficulties he grabbed the wine bottle. He pulled a corkscrew from her kitchen draw and opened the bottle. Olivia handed him two wine glasses. He filled them liberally.
Olivia took a long sip, savoring the sweet taste.
"So… Are we going to talk about what happened yesterday?"
"Listen, what I did is inexcusable. I'm sorry." She said flatly. Nick came closer to Olivia; she could feel his breath on her face. He looked deep into her eyes, searching to see if she was being sincere.
"Why are you apologizing? You didn't do anything I haven't wanted you to do since I first met you." Nick smiled. "Liv, I'm crazy about you." He moved closer to her, their lips nearly touching, "Plus I did kind of kiss you back." Olivia chuckled nervously. She tried to rationalize the situation, but it was impossible. She was standing in her kitchen, so close to kissing the man she cared so much about. She was partially nervous, but the alcohol gave her a buzz, and the buzz gave her the courage to kiss Nick again, for the second time. She held this kiss longer than she had before. Olivia let her tongue fully explore Nick's mouth. She smiled against his lips, he tasted so good. Nick reciprocated, he wanted Olivia so badly. He lifted Olivia up; she wrapped her legs around his waist, trailing kisses along his neck. Nick carried Olivia up to her bedroom, laying her down. He looked her up and down, taking great pleasure in the look of pure desire that filled Olivia's eyes. "You are so beautiful." Nick said as he climbed on the bed, he kissed Olivia passionately. Olivia Benson wasn't thinking sensibly, if she had been she wouldn't have had sex with Nick. She simply would have apologized for her impulsive behavior and called it a day. Or she would have pretended like it never happened, Olivia was good at that. Good at pretending like everything was alright, a habit she had learned from her old partner Elliot Stabler. He was good at throwing low blows; whenever they fought he was quick to bring up how she had no family, no children, and no one to go home to. Something Elliot was fortunate to have; a loving wife and beautiful children, yet he took it all for granted. Olivia hated him for it.
Her thoughts got the best of her and she went from thinking of Elliot, to thinking about Lewis, and the upcoming trial, her last thoughts going to Brian. Just how was she going to explain this? She didn't care, she cuddled Nick and fell into a deep sleep.