(Three sit in the basement, WARREN fixing something whilst ANDREW and JONATHAN look bored. ANDREW shuffles impatiently)
ANDREW-Are you done yet?
WARREN-No, no, I need a little more time.
ANDREW-Oh. Okay. (pause. A few seconds go by). Are you done now?
WARREN-(exasperated) No, I am not done now, can you please wait? Play with munchkin over there, or something-(points at JONATHAN in a corner)
JONATHAN-(sighs. Music swells in the background, and JONATHAN begins to sing...)
I KNOW I'M SHORT, TO TELL THE TRUTH
THAT DOESN'T BOTHER ME
FOR WHAT I FAIL IN STRENGTH AND SIZE
I ACE IN SANITY-
(music halts abruptly, as WARREN and ANDREW look up in shock)
WARREN-Sp-sparky...?
JONATHAN- What? So I'm not allowed to sing now?
WARREN (glares) Whatever. (goes back to work)
(The troika seem quiet now, as WARREN works silently, and JONATHAN and ANDREW sit idly. However...)
ANDREW (singing)
THIS, MY FRIENDS, IS SO UNFAIR
WHY CAN'T I HAVE A SAY?
I CAN BE AN EQUAL TO THE LIKES
OF CAPTAIN JANEWAY-
JONATHAN-THAT'S SO NOT TRUE
ANDREW-WHAT? SAYS WHO?
JONATHAN-YOU MAY FIGHT LIKE A GIRL
BUT JANEWAY IS, AND WILL ALWAYS BE
MORE MASCULINE THAN YOU
WARREN-(interrupts) COME ON YOU GUYS, JUST GET REAL
YOU'RE ACTING LIKE YOU'RE MAD
FOR THE BESTEST EVER CAPTAIN WAS
THE KICK-ASS CAPT. PICARD!
(The music dies instantly. The two look at him in shock)
JONATHAN- How can you say that?
ANDREW-Actually, he sang it-
WARREN-(cuts ANDREW) Who asked you?
ANDREW- Well, have you finished yet?
WARREN- (snaps)Finished what? My little broadway number? Do you think I'm enjoying this? I don't know how the hell we're...
ANDREW-(bursts into tune again)
I MEANT HAVE YOU COMPLETED
YOUR EXTRAORDINARY- (pause. He looks at Jonathan)
JONATHAN-...THING.
I MEAN LIKE TELL US WARREN
WHAT IT IS THAT YOU ARE WORKING
ON-
ANDREW-(added gusto, leaps onto a desk and dances)
COULD IT BE THE START OF A COOL NEW FLYING CAR?
JONATHAN (jumps alongside ANDREW)
COULD IT BE OUR TICKET INTO SWANKY FAMOUS BARS?
ANDREW-OR IS IT THAT NEW MODEL KIT OF THE ORIGINAL DEATHSTAR?
BOTH-OH TELL US WARREN
WHY WON'T YOU TELL US?
OUR THROATS ARE HOARSE, WE HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY
OH TELL US GREAT ONE, WHY WON'T YOU TELL US?
ANDREW- (comes closer to WARREN, in hushed tones)
IF YOU DON'T TELL US I'LL TELL HIM THAT YOUR-
WARREN-(gulp) OKAY-
ITS A FREEZE RAY, A FREEZE RAY
JUST TRUST ME, I'M THE MAN.
THIS COOL DEVICE WILL HELP US
CARRY OUT OUR MASTER PLAN!
DUDES NOW, DON'T WORRY
THIS IS OUR CHANCE TO PLAY, A
FUN GAME, UNDER THE NOSE
OF THAT DUMB-BLONDE SLAYER!
ALL TOGETHER- FOR WE'RE THE TRIO
WE'RE MADE OF THREE-O
JUST WATCH THE WHOLE WORLD QUAKE-
WARREN -FOR I HAVE THE BRAINS-
JONATHAN- I HAVE THE BONE
ANDREW- AND I HAVE A STOMACH ACHE...
(song ends, and the three return to former positions from the beginning)