Well, this will be a complete contrast to what I had panned out before so I'm just curious as to how this will go, lol.

This peice was actually a partially written chapter from Snowbind that was cut from the final post because I felt it strayed away from the flow of the story. Although it elaborates some details concerning some character traits of the characters involved, it didn't really "help" the story to move along...which was kind of a bummer for me because I really liked the humanistic approach this chapter had...therefore I wanted to see how it would do as a stand alone.

This segment explores a brief childhood moment in the life of Raven McNight, whom, for those who are not familiar with the character , is an OC whom is, laughably the epitome of pessimism. In the process, I decided to use an event, involving an existing character as a catalyst to bring out those traits that make Raven who she is and may have contributed to her cynical attitude, while exploring the intellectual cage that all of us have felt at one time or another.

As always feedback is welcome.

Killing The Mockingbird

We'll try to stay blind
To the hope and fear outside
Hey child, stay wilder than the wind
And blow me in to cry

Who do you need, who do you love
When you come undone

Come Undone

Duran Duran

Four years before E-day...

"Do we really have to go to that boring graduation party?"

…a nine year old Eloise "Raven" McNight complained from the backseat of her father's new car. It was one of a handful of questions she did her best to annoy her parents, attempting in vain to convince them to take her back home instead of dragging her to the former Senior Officer, now Professor, Fenix's commencement celebration for his son, Marcus.

Raven sat in gloom, feeling the tension building up as she contemplates to herself how she was going to survive an evening in a pair of hideous, itchy, black tights that her mother made her wear to go with her crimson, velvet dress. She recalled the day she and her mother spent the weekend before, searching for the perfect little, formal outfit just for this occasion, which was nothing more than a over-glorified, graduation party, a day Raven cringed that she too may be subjected to, Lord, what the hell is mother going to make me wear then?

She was already in enough trouble from earlier that same week, when she displayed her bottle rockets made of PVC pipes at the school science fair, not realizing that the school had a no tolerance policy concerning anything that may deem hazardous, especially with anything that had any resemblance to a "bomb." Instead of suspension, after the staff realized it was blown a little out of proportion, Raven was subjected to helping the science teacher clean up the laboratory, every day after school for the rest of the year. Although she didn't mind putting up Bunsen burners, or sanitizing the dissecting tools, she did loathe the idea of losing a couple of hours of her free time, away from at-home activities that included working on her chemistry set.

But now, she would much rather be back in school, spending the rest of the evening, cleaning the entire premises, than attending Professor Fenix's formal gathering for his moody, only son, Marcus. Although Major McNight has always been in the military inner circle since Raven could remember, she loathed having to attend formal functions. They seemed fun at first, when her father would take his "little princess," in her ballroom dress to the Jacinto Chateau, but it soon became like a masquerade, always trying to pretend to be primp and proper, just like her mother, when in reality, she felt more at home, growing salt crystals or updating her blog about breeding her gerbils.

"Ellie honey, it was very generous of the Professor to invite us to this very important occasion…it would be exceptionally rude to decline his invitation. It means a lot to him, and his son…" her father explained, knowing that her father, being one of the military prestige, often saw such functions as mandatory, that consequently resulted dragging Raven to them as well.

"…but I don't like the Professor's son, dad."

"…and why not Ellie? What don't you like about Marcus?"

Eloise curled her lip, processing her father's question as if she never really thought about as to why she didn't like the boy. Generally speaking, she never felt in comfortable company with the Fenix's, especially within the same vicinity of the Professor's son, Marcus. He was a tall, rather skinny, dark headed kid with pale glassy eyes that always seemed melancholy. Raven could never put her finger on it as to why the Fenix boy was always such a rain cloud every time she saw him, but his demeanor was always the same.

"He's weird, dad."

"…in what way?"

"He doesn't talk, or smile…he looks like he's always mad about something all the time, dad…and I don't think he even likes me!"

"Well, Eloise, he lost his mommy a few years back…how would you feel if you lost your mom?"

Eloise sunk in her seat, knowing full well about the odd incident concerning Doctor Elaine's disappearance. It was a plausible explanation for Marcus' moodiness…I guess I would be sad too. But still…

"…and did he tell you that he didn't like you?" her father asked patiently.

Swallowing his words, all that Eloise could mutter was "…no sir."

"Well, then, how do you know that he doesn't like you?"

"He hardly acknowledges me dad…so I don't acknowledge him!" Raven snapped to justify her complaint.

"Well that's a shallow response to a problem, isn't it," her father chuckled at his foster daughter's defiance.

He always knew that Eloise had a black and white perception of people, which somewhat made her stubborn and hard headed, but it was this same characteristic that made her sharper than a surgical knife, and excelled academically in school.

As the sun began to fade behind the skylight of the city, Raven slumped in her seat, watching the bleeding colors in the horizon as the jazz coming from the car's audio set the mood just right; a night of wine, dine, and an endless charade of grown-ups dancing defectively under the influences of regard, of what is supposed to be the most sophisticated group of people in Tyran society. Please.

Then, there was little Eloise, the McNight's daughter of promise, a glimmer in her mother's eye, or the Major McNight's pretty little princess, dressed in the most brilliant of get-ups that money could buy, and she absolutely hated it. The matching, glossy shoes, the ribbons in her "dolled up" hair, and of course, the itchy tights, was more than enough to preferably place a bag on her head and call it a night.

As the vehicle began to slow down, the feeling of grumbling sank into her stomach as she watched out from the car window, noticing other guests with their kids, oh great, now I'm going to be expected to mingle with the "other" snobby brats.

Raven always felt like an outsider looking in, knowing that regardless how her mother dressed her, everyone knew that she really wasn't the McNight's real kid. It was the same entourage of everyone pretending that Jonathan and Marion had a child of their own, even though everyone knew that the couple had been trying for years at countless fertility clinics, hoping to conceive. But whatever the reason, the stigma of being childless, while other couples had no problem producing offspring, was a blow that neither was willing to accept. Therefore, adoption seemed to be the only other, sure alternative, but the fact they not only adopted a child, but a Feral child, was probably the most conspicuous thing about it, and Raven could see that everyone knew it.

As the car pulled up to the entrance at the front lobby, the chafers soon opened the door, as her mother was the first to step out, wearing her satin, halter top, maroon gown that hung down to her ankles. Her mother was a pretty lady, with soft, fair skin and glossy blonde hair, pinned up in satin curls, unlike her foster daughter Eloise, who's hair was straight and pitch black, like the obnoxious, cawing bird. But her mother would spend almost an hour, dolling Raven's long black locks into pigtails, and then wrap them into buns, woven in satin ribbons. Raven's head would feel like it was in a vice, after an hour of having her hair yanked and pulled, combed, and pulled some more, feeling her scalp tighten, every time she would turn her head…ugh, I hate that.

Marion stepped to the side, gently leaning as she peered into the backseat, motioning for Raven to come out and join her,

"Come along, Raven…we don't want to be impolite and be late," she said cheerfully as Raven groaned,

"I'm…coming, mom."

Trying to slip past the seatbelt while keeping her legs crossed at the same time seemed to be a more difficult task than expected. Her mother could see that Raven was having a little difficulty, so she moved in to help loosen her daughter from the harness that had Raven still strapped to the backseat of the car.

"Hold on, honey," said Marion as she reached in and slipped the belt from Raven's torso, "…and there you go."

"Tha…thanks," Raven was able to mutter as a formal, military dressed Major Jonathan McNight, walked around the vehicle to join them,

"Well, let us go in ladies, shall we?" he beamed as he held out his arm for his wife on one side and his hand for his daughter on the other. No wait, his adopted daughter.

It wouldn't have been the first time the McNights have visited the Fenix Manor as the doorman turned the iron lever, opening the stained, oak door for the three to walk in. Looking up around as Raven's eyes widened in awe at the colored glass windows and stained, porous lumber, reinforced with a cast iron frame, which was often a paramount characteristic of the neo-modern, Tyranian architecture. She soon could see the double, elliptical staircase, winding up to the second story with a balcony that wrapped around the entry room of the massive house, or at least massive from Raven's perspective. Even though she's seen it before, it never ceased to amaze her.

As they entered into the grande room, a man in the distance motioned the McNights to the entrance from a parlour, where refreshments, fruits and other nibbles were available, along with the finest wines available. As the three entered into the parlour, a voice could be heard over the crowd of guests,

"Aw, Major…I'm so glad to see you came…"

Without question, Raven recognized the voice to that of Professor Adam Fenix, a man of impressive stature, as any Gear would be, despite that he had been a man of science as of late, rather than a man of war. Nevertheless, the Professor towered over the others as he walked up to her father to greet him,

"Major…Marion, always a pleasure," Adam turned his gaze to her mother, whom was always a dove amongst the crowd of crows.

"Thank you so much for inviting us, Professor…I can't believe that your son has finally graduated…it was if it was only yesterday, we would see him in his little suit and tie during his piano recital," her mother reiterated, and yea, my parents dragged me to those too.

The Professor smiled in compliance to that soft glow her mother would always illuminate when she was trying to be sincere. Raven's father let out a hearty chuckle in response to her mother's recollection,

"…and I can recall your son's first baseball game," her father mused.

"Aw, yes…I remember he hated trying to hit those curve balls…but he stayed a few seasons, nevertheless," the Professor recalled, and then soon realized that Marcus wasn't cut out for baseball. Pfft, can't blame him…I hated it too. Any game that involved sitting on a bench for awhile, waiting to hit a small ball with a stick was either boring or unexciting for Raven. Therefore, she preferred swimming or running, but eventually took to other hobbies when her father allowed her to have her own computer and a solder…what a great day that was!

"…and this must be your Eloise," Professor Fenix took notice, as Raven could feel the pale eyes gazing at her, "…you look so lovely tonight, Eloise. I sure do appreciate you coming to Marcus' party."

Pfft, I seriously doubt he even knows that I'm here, she said to herself, and although she would have loved to share her blunt honest feelings to the Senior Fenix, all that she was able to squeak out was,

"Tha…thank you, for having us sir."

"You're quite welcome young lady…"

Oh gee, I'm officially a young lady, now. The sour notes that would often loom Raven's subconscious concerning her blossoming journey into adolescence was laughable at best, hell, I'm only nine years old.

It was as if the world was pressuring her to grow up too soon, too fast, while she desperately clung to the innocence she felt she had no reason to leave behind. And then it occurred to her, maybe Marcus felt the same way. Although it seemed absurd at first, Raven soon delved into her thoughts while the noise of her parents mingling with the other guests was drowning out, finding something after all these years of dreading these events, not ever once wondered how Marcus felt about them, since he too, often attended these social functions, whether he wanted to or not. She could remember him, dressed in his usual black suit and tie, sulking while keeping is posture erect after his father would correct him constantly.

Realizing that her throat was becoming parched, she turned over to her father, whom was conversing with two other men of military prestige, and gently taps him on his arm, not wanting to interrupt their conversation with her blurting out to the world that she was thirsty and wanted a drink of water,

"Yes, Eloise?" her dad said as he turned over his shoulder to his lovely, foster daughter,

"May I go get something to drink from the bar?"

"Of course, sweetheart…help yourself," her father responded as the other men took notice of is daughter, quietly nodding in compliance.

"What a fine young lady you have there McNight…" Major Hoffman acknowledged while the newly Major McNight smiled warmly,

"I must admit, she's just as pretty as she is ornery at times, Vic," he chuckled.

"Well, I must say she's starting to take after Marion," said Hoffman, noticing Marion's efforts in making their Eloise presentable, while keeping Raven's preferable attire, consisting of ripped jeans and shabby t-shirts with a pair of canvas sneakers, secluded at home.

"Hehe, Marion tries her best," said Major McNight, remembering only recently that Raven would protest Marion's choice of wardrobe, feeling the desire to separate her identity away from her mothers' perception of what a young lady should look like.

As Raven walked over to the bar, relieved that she was able get out from under her father's shadow and that of the other military elite, she looked up to peer over the bar while trying carefully to step up on a stool, avoiding the possible calamity of falling over head first with her legs in the air and her dress flipped over her head, revealing to the world her undercarriage that was form fitted in her itchy tights…ugh, I would never be able to let that down, especially with the other kids.

Flagging the bartender, he looked up at the young girl as he gave her a soft grin while placing his rag back into his apron,

"…and what can I get you, young lady?"

"I just need some ice water…please," she asked while trying to be polite, knowing that she would get a scathing later if her parents ever found that she was unintentionally rude to anyone,

"Certainly," the bartender cheered as he pulled a fresh, plastic cup, and filling the contents with ice and water, and then setting it down on the bar within Raven's reach.

"Thank you," Raven muttered as she took the cup and walked away from the bar, looking for a place to drink in peace, when high pitch voices could be heard among the clatter of adult murmurs.

Three little girls that were roughly Raven's age were giggling and carrying on, as most young girls do when they ogle a group of boys, huddled in a corner across the room. Although the boys were totally oblivious to the girls peering over at them, Raven could sense the aura of puberty radiating from the girls, two of which she recalled went to the same school with her, and for the most part were the "queen bees" of the girl populous.

Although they all grew up together in Elementary, the ranks were soon divided when they entered Middle School, and those whom Raven thought were mutual friends, became bitter adversaries. Anyone whom didn't fit the norm or conformity was not only shunned, but ridiculed for being diverse.

Fortunately, Raven's honor classes predominantly kept her away from the "in crowd," while watching others whom were not so fortunate, wither into decay, crying in the bathroom stalls, while succumbing to the peer pressures that bullied them into the corner, forcing them out and into being home-shooled as the only alternative left for them to function without constant harassment about the way they dressed, looked, or smelled.

It was a reality that only made Raven pessimistic when it concerned other people, while continuing to keep her focus on her studies and hobbies, but the one time she felt out of place and into the lion's den, was the formal functions where all the high end girls would mingle, and it was then that Raven would occasionally get singled out. But as long as they were keeping their focus on the boys across the room, even though they didn't show the slightest inclination of interest in mingling with girls, the better off she was.

Raven meandered through the crowd, hoping to be unnoticed when she slithered out into a wrapped around balcony, outside, above the Manor courtyard under the brilliance of the starry sky. A sigh of relief could be heard, coming from the frantic Raven, as she stepped out into the mostly empty balcony, finding a bench, clear across the other side and walks over to takes a seat, sipping on her water.

After finding serenity for the first time since she got there, it wasn't long before the calm silence was disturbed, when suddenly, she could hear voices coming from another wing of the house, not the usual sounds of jubilation that was audible among the guests, but the sounds of chastisement being exchanged amongst two people. Curious, Raven turned her head to eavesdrop on the conversation while the low voice that resembled a man of maturity, could be heard alongside a adolescent, both going back and forth while becoming more audible as the clash continued.

"…I petitioned you to be placed at he most prestigious schools in all of Sera, and now you decide to join the Gears?" a reverence of anger could be felt coming from the senior man,

"…I don't want to go to Lacroix, I never asked to go to Lacroix…"

"…then we'll transfer you to another University, but why son, why join the armed forces when you have the means to work along side with me, and my research, like your mother did…"

"…when did you EVER take an interest in me outside of your research? Why in the hell would I want any part of something that you have taken a more interest than your own son?"

The audible clatter was easily distinguished to be that of Professor Fenix and his son Marcus. Raven tried to stay subtle, keeping her profile low as she stayed in her seat as the feud continued,

"…Carlos is going, so I'm going too!"

"Carlos has no other means to pay for the rising tuition…but you do! Think about it…science is the future Marcus…don't put yourself in harm's way when you have the potential to be so much better…"

"…better for whom…me? ….or better for you?"

The tension between father and son could be felt well into the balcony as Raven shuddered from the tone in the Professor's voice. She never heard him raise his voice to anyone, at anytime, ever. Marcus on the other hand was not on the defensive, either. She never heard him stand up to the Professor before. Raven always thought of Marcus as being submissive in his father's shadow, but I guess he's stepping out into the wild primeval, answering the call to adulthood that all males must one day endure as they establish their own identities outside of the boundaries set by their parents. That I can relate to.

"…regardless what you decide what you want to do with your life, Marcus, you are, coming downstairs to entertain your guests, and receive the acclamation you so earnestly deserve."

"…fine…just give me…ten minutes."

"Very well…I will be waiting downstairs."

As the conversation came to a close, the sound of footsteps could be heard, coming towards the balcony as Marcus stormed out into the evening, fresh air, walking over to lean on the railing, looking out into the courtyard, not acknowledging Raven's presence.

Although he was much taller than Raven remembered him to be, he was still kind of skinny, and his black suit made him even more slender, next to his father, whom was just as tall, but more solid in build like any veteran Gear, including her father.

And now Marcus is going to join the armed forces…wow, they're really going to put him in his place. Raven could remember vividly the times her father would take her on base, watching the drill Sergeant's beef up their cadets with an array of push-ups, low lunges, long period's of sitting in "horse" stances, the kind to where your calves would be screaming at you for weeks on end, and of course, the countless hours of tedious hiking, carrying fifty pounds of equipment over their backs, day after day as their shoulders would throb and their feet blister…and that was just "basic."

Raven slumped in her seat, trying not to make eye contact with the moody boy, whom was a few steps short to becoming a man, if the COG could help it. Marcus' facial expression was frumpy, with his taut brow hanging over his pale eyes, looking down and away from the world his father towed him in, and he wanted out. Whatever plans the Professor had for his son, Marcus didn't want any part of it.

While Raven for the most part was still in a trance, Marcus could feel the ogling from the girl sitting away from the festivities, not the least bit entertained, mingling with the other kids, as he turned his gaze to hers, catching Raven off guard as she quickly shielded her eyes from his, sinking further into the bench over the balcony, damnit, he saw that…I must look like a freakin retard!

Not quite as naive as she once thought, Marcus turned his gaze back down out into the night sky as he mumbled,

"The other kids are playing slapfish tag in the parlour…"

Raven looked back up towards Marcus while he was still looking out. He knew that he made little Eloise uncomfortable with his gaze, he always knew that she felt skittish in his presence, can't imagine what the kid is scared of…am I really that frightening?

It then occurred to him that she was probably eavesdropping on the little spat between he and his dad, not exactly the kind of impression Marcus would want anyone to see, but at this point, he felt he had no other way out but to confront the Professor, whom have for so long made decisions for him, rather than letting Marcus decide for himself; but no longer. Not any more.

"I don't want to play with the other kids," Raven mumbled in return.

"Why not?" said Marcus as he turned over his shoulder, peering into her direction, but not looking at her directly,

"It helps to have a friend to play slapfish…if you play by yourself, you have an unfair disadvantage…and I always end up by myself…it's stupid!"

Marcus couldn't help but to chuckle slightly, knowing the game all too well and the strategies that can give one person an advantage over another. Both him and his best friend, Carlos, did it all the time in school, and it wasn't unusual to put poor Dom, Carlos' kid brother, in the disadvantage. He knew exactly what Raven was talking about, and it does suck playing by yourself.

"Well, sorry…you kinda looked like you would be good at it," Marcus pointed out while still somewhat peering in her direction, and then turned his gaze back out into the courtyard where guests could be heard laughing and mingling.

"How come you don't like your party?" Raven finally muscled the courage to blatantly ask this glum kid.

Marcus didn't answer. He continued to glare out into the courtyard, but Raven could tell that he heard her, and that it may have just opened up a door to a lot issues he didn't feel like dealing with at the moment.

Letting out a sigh, Raven started to get up and walk back inside, while shifting in her scratchy tights, when that same low, mumbling voice could be heard before she even made it to the entrance,

"Did you really want to come to my party…or did your parents make you come?" Marcus asked, while still leaning beside the railing of the balcony, peering out into the starry night sky. Raven could probably tell him what she thought he may have wanted to hear, but she couldn't lie if her life depended on it. Her demeanor would always give it away.

"No…my parents…made me come."

There was no deception in Raven's answer that Marcus could decipher. He knew that she was being blunt honest, but what caught Raven off guard the most was what Marcus said next, as he turned around to face the little girl, turning his gaze towards hers as their eyes finally met, and it made her apprehensive.

"…my father made me come too. I even told him that I didn't want a party, but he did it anyway. Can you understand what I'm getting at?"

Of course Raven could, and he knew that she could. She was the McNights adopted, Feral daughter. Everyone knew that she wasn't of blood relation, so it wasn't long that the McNights pretty little Eloise, would feel outcasted from social conformity, no matter how hard her mother tried to help her fit in.

"He…didn't even let me invite my friends from school…just Jacinto's elite…doctors, professors, administrators, military personnel…" he added, which seemed to only make matters worse for Marcus' relationship with his father. It never occurred to Raven that Marcus have long felt the dissolve between he and his parents, but what severed it further was the truth concerning his mothers' disappearance. After that, there was little left that could be salvaged.

Turning his gaze back down to the floor, as if he was embarrassed to be there, not because of being in Raven's presence, but in front of Jacinto's social elite, he rubbed his forehead while pulling his hand over his slick, black hair.

Letting out a sigh, his posture stood erect from the slump while pulling his other hand from his pocket as he turned around to face Eloise,

"I don't blame you for not wanting to come," he muttered without sarcasm. For the first time, ever, Raven actually felt sorry for this rain cloud of a kid, whom has found a way to fly out of the nest for good

Marcus managed to fake a slight smile, something that was so foreign to Raven, she couldn't believe it was actually him, but the rare moment was soon interrupted as a voice called out her name from the crowd of guests in the parlour inside,

"Eloise…Raven, come here sweety…I want you to meet someone," the Major serenely yelled out while Raven let out a frumpy growl that only Marcus could audibly hear,

"I guess you better go see the Major," Marcus mused.

"Um…coming dad…" Raven yelled back as she gave Marcus a quick glimpse, before she hurried off to join her father, inside the parlour.

As soon as Raven quickly darted back in, Marcus let out a sigh while peering in from the balcony at his guests, taking a moment to summon the masquerade so that he could conceal his malcontent. Taking in a deep breath as he slowly exhaled, he set his composure and casually walked in, to face the bitter waltz that he was determined to end.

Nineteen years later, at Fort Block, located north of Port Farrall…

Thinking back to all that he ever knew, especially the few years he hardly spoke to his father when he decided to join the military, he never thought to see the McNight's little Eloise ever again. But there she was, lying in comatose in the Block infirmary, medicated from the doctors setting her broken leg back into place and casting it.

The more he thought about the it, the more it felt as if it was yesterday that Marcus could remember little Eloise, sulking in her velvet, red dress, and the bright colored ribbons in her long, ebony hair, while the poor kid would be overwhelmed with adoration from the guests about how pretty their little Eloise was.

But now, she no longer went by Eloise, she was called Feral, and it wasn't a name that was very revered. With her once long locks of hair, now cropped off, feathering her soft, round face, with an abrasion on the side of her forehead, still thawing from the cold, bitter hellhole she endured while hiking through the outskirts of Glacier Valley, protecting what was left of Sigma squad before they eventually found their way home.

Her father would have never chosen this life for his little Eloise, much less her mother, Marion, but when E-day came, everything was turned upside down for everyone. The Major McNight was killed, protecting a medical frigate when the Locust Horde ambushed them from under ground, leaving his lovely wife and daughter alone to pick up the pieces of the worst of things to come; the day the COG enacted the Fortification Act, subjecting fertile, young girls to Fertility Clinics for "breeding placement." But before the magistrate could even deliver the summons to the McNight's residence, Eloise ran away from home, away from the COG, away from the monstrosity that would eventually be uncovered at the breeding farms.

But as the cold day came to a close, and the evening hung heavily over what was left Jacinto's Remnant, Marcus had long known that he was no better off than she was. Pulling off his bandana while scratching his head, shuffling his black strands that have been long overdo for a haircut, he sighed while leaning against the wall, waiting for Colonel Hoffman to wrap up his inquiry with the nursing staff while Raven succumbed to the morphine, oblivious to everything that was happening in the room.

He had hoped to check on Cole, Baird, and Sven, whom were isolated in another part of the building, but Hoffman soon turned his attention to Feral, whom apparently had crucial intel concerning a Stranded militia that was becoming more of a threat.

Looking past the entourage that moved in and out of the hospital room, he stared at his own reflection in a window nearby, trying to remember the boy he knew, in the large, solemn man before him. Although his pale eyes were the same, his battle-hardened face, the scars he accumulated over the years, the crows feet that stretched outside of his eyes while the lines that slinked down his cheeks, was such a contrast since that forlorn evening at his graduation party. Although he hated to think about it, he couldn't deny the fact that he was starting to look more like his old man.

Marcus was no longer that same, skinny kid that Eloise would have remembered that bleak evening, but an instrument of war, conditioned to wield himself like a machine, designed to eradicate and kill, something his father never meant for his son to be, while the Major's little "Eloise," was now a "bird of prey," a Feral, conditioned to steal, recon, and smite. They were two people who looked as if they had everything, are now left with nothing, but that deep subliminal inclination to fight back against overwhelming odds, while at the same time, unsure as to what is there left to fight for.

~end~