The hanyou, Inuyasha, watched Kagome as she walked a few feet in front of him. He'd stopped traveling ahead of her a long time ago. He was past that now; and he knew that although progress would be slower, the girl would be safer if he was nearby. Still, he never walked next to her and engaged in lengthy conversation. He was unworthy of her company, and it was unfit for her to waste her breath on him.
At first he thought the gods had sent her just to torment him with the horrible memories of Kikyou. It had been even more sadistical of them to grant her the power to control him. He wanted to be rid of the pain so bad that he'd wanted to kill her, and when he'd been unable to bring himself to, he actually tried to take his own life. That had been one of the only occasions that he had damned his demon half. His wounds had healed to quickly for real damage to happen. Suddenly, very suddenly, he had the realization that Kagome was a blessing, not a curse. She wasn't as weak as he had thought, and she had spirit enough to take on demons that sent chills down his own spine. She was so incredibly trusting of him almost immediately after he had tried to kill her. It also came to him that Kagome was very kind and gentle, even after all of their arguments. Kaede-baba's rosary allowed her to force him into doing what she willed, but the only time he ever felt the cursed power around his neck, was when he pissed her off. A wave of guilt and shame swept over him when he thought about how Kikyou wouldn't have been so tolerant of him. Kagome's heart seemed big enough for everybody they met. After that revelation, he found himself leaning on her more and more, until he needed her as much as she needed him on the battlefield. Then, even after Kikyou's resurrection, his dependency had only deepened.
He loved her so much it felt like a hundred arrows were piercing his heart. He could no longer watch her disappear into the well. Whenever she left, he went after her. When she went to school, he was always in that big tree outside her classroom. When she slept in her room, he was never far from her windowsill. He had never felt this devoted or this possessive of anything in his life. It was true that he loved Kikyou... Well, he really wanted himself to. But Kagome was everything he needed in life and more. As much as he hated to admit it, he was incredibly weak. There was a hole in his heart, and was damage beyond any mere arrow. This strange girl from another world had held his glass heart intact, and began to heal the gaping wound that had bled for fifty years. Now he was also indebted to Kagome, but differently than what he owed Kikyou. Kagome owned him. That was all there was to it. He would do anything for her in an instant. He would follow her to the edge of the planet, across time and space, anywhere she went, he wouldn't be far behind. As long as he could be by her side, it didn't matter what was going on; though he wasn't sure what he would do if he were rejected. The dog hanyou wished and prayed madly that it would never come to that, his body would probably just stop functioning. Inuyasha wanted more than anything for her to love him the way he was; a hanyou. Kikyou wanted his submission in human form, but he didn't care then. He needed support and companionship so badly he was willing to do nearly anything for it. Kagome was different. She always seemed to see him as the same person, even in his yokai form. Why did she seem to not care? It should make a difference whether or not he was human or hanyou or yokai-
"Inuyasha?"
He snapped out of his thoughts and raised his animal eyes to meet her human ones. "Are you okay?" She asked, looking a bit worried.
He tried to appear more confident than he felt. "I'm fine."
"Okay." She smiled at him. "You just seemed a little out of it."
*\*\*\*\*\*\*
Inuyasha had followed her silently for sometime now. She glanced back toward him to see a familiar sight. He was yard or two behind her with his eyes trained on the ground. He looked buried in unpleasant memories and thought, which meant he was thinking about Kikyou, and he had a right to, he HAD loved her after all. Still, it worried her to see him so devoted and loyal to the woman who had killed him once, and was out to do it again. She knew that he would follow the miko anywhere, even to the fiery depths of hell itself, which was exactly what Kikyou wanted, and exactly why she worried for him.
She shoved her feelings aside again, reminding herself that he had little room for her in his life. And so, with her usual forced smile, she called to him. "Inuyasha?" He snapped back into reality and raised his cat-slitted eyes to meet her gaze. Truth be told, she loved looking at his eyes, especially in his rare moments of vulnerability. They held so much depth, and they betrayed many things about his mind and heart. "Are you okay?" She forced her smile through her thick concern.
A light shade of red crept up his cheeks before he answered her. "I'm fine."
She bit her lip, a bit hurt. It bothered her when he wouldn't open to her when he was so obviously troubled. "Okay." She nodded, deciding not to pry despite her hurt and curiosity. "You just seemed a little out of it."
At first he thought the gods had sent her just to torment him with the horrible memories of Kikyou. It had been even more sadistical of them to grant her the power to control him. He wanted to be rid of the pain so bad that he'd wanted to kill her, and when he'd been unable to bring himself to, he actually tried to take his own life. That had been one of the only occasions that he had damned his demon half. His wounds had healed to quickly for real damage to happen. Suddenly, very suddenly, he had the realization that Kagome was a blessing, not a curse. She wasn't as weak as he had thought, and she had spirit enough to take on demons that sent chills down his own spine. She was so incredibly trusting of him almost immediately after he had tried to kill her. It also came to him that Kagome was very kind and gentle, even after all of their arguments. Kaede-baba's rosary allowed her to force him into doing what she willed, but the only time he ever felt the cursed power around his neck, was when he pissed her off. A wave of guilt and shame swept over him when he thought about how Kikyou wouldn't have been so tolerant of him. Kagome's heart seemed big enough for everybody they met. After that revelation, he found himself leaning on her more and more, until he needed her as much as she needed him on the battlefield. Then, even after Kikyou's resurrection, his dependency had only deepened.
He loved her so much it felt like a hundred arrows were piercing his heart. He could no longer watch her disappear into the well. Whenever she left, he went after her. When she went to school, he was always in that big tree outside her classroom. When she slept in her room, he was never far from her windowsill. He had never felt this devoted or this possessive of anything in his life. It was true that he loved Kikyou... Well, he really wanted himself to. But Kagome was everything he needed in life and more. As much as he hated to admit it, he was incredibly weak. There was a hole in his heart, and was damage beyond any mere arrow. This strange girl from another world had held his glass heart intact, and began to heal the gaping wound that had bled for fifty years. Now he was also indebted to Kagome, but differently than what he owed Kikyou. Kagome owned him. That was all there was to it. He would do anything for her in an instant. He would follow her to the edge of the planet, across time and space, anywhere she went, he wouldn't be far behind. As long as he could be by her side, it didn't matter what was going on; though he wasn't sure what he would do if he were rejected. The dog hanyou wished and prayed madly that it would never come to that, his body would probably just stop functioning. Inuyasha wanted more than anything for her to love him the way he was; a hanyou. Kikyou wanted his submission in human form, but he didn't care then. He needed support and companionship so badly he was willing to do nearly anything for it. Kagome was different. She always seemed to see him as the same person, even in his yokai form. Why did she seem to not care? It should make a difference whether or not he was human or hanyou or yokai-
"Inuyasha?"
He snapped out of his thoughts and raised his animal eyes to meet her human ones. "Are you okay?" She asked, looking a bit worried.
He tried to appear more confident than he felt. "I'm fine."
"Okay." She smiled at him. "You just seemed a little out of it."
*\*\*\*\*\*\*
Inuyasha had followed her silently for sometime now. She glanced back toward him to see a familiar sight. He was yard or two behind her with his eyes trained on the ground. He looked buried in unpleasant memories and thought, which meant he was thinking about Kikyou, and he had a right to, he HAD loved her after all. Still, it worried her to see him so devoted and loyal to the woman who had killed him once, and was out to do it again. She knew that he would follow the miko anywhere, even to the fiery depths of hell itself, which was exactly what Kikyou wanted, and exactly why she worried for him.
She shoved her feelings aside again, reminding herself that he had little room for her in his life. And so, with her usual forced smile, she called to him. "Inuyasha?" He snapped back into reality and raised his cat-slitted eyes to meet her gaze. Truth be told, she loved looking at his eyes, especially in his rare moments of vulnerability. They held so much depth, and they betrayed many things about his mind and heart. "Are you okay?" She forced her smile through her thick concern.
A light shade of red crept up his cheeks before he answered her. "I'm fine."
She bit her lip, a bit hurt. It bothered her when he wouldn't open to her when he was so obviously troubled. "Okay." She nodded, deciding not to pry despite her hurt and curiosity. "You just seemed a little out of it."