Authors Note: Kenny and I just had a fight. A rather large one. I don't
think I should see him again. This may come off a tad bit dark; I'm not
sure, I wasn't even aware that I was going to write anything. If anything
is found to be disturbing I apologize now.
Please
I feel her tears threw the cloth of my harori; seeping threw to my flesh as she cries for my battered soul. She's so sad, why must I always make her sad? She doesn't deserve it, I don't deserve her.
Somebody should stop me, stop me from hurting her anymore then I already am. I don't mean to, I'm not even aware of half the horrible things I tell her until they have already left my mouth. It's just not fair to her. Somebody should stop me from destroying her innocence.
She never physically hits me. No, she's to gentle for that, but I wish that she wasn't. I wish that she would to hit me. I wish that she could scratch me, make me bleed for hurting her. Why doesn't she? Is she not able to?
How come I only attack her mentally? Is it because I know that it hurts far more then physical wounds? Do I subconsciously mean to hurt her? Somebody help me, help me save her from myself. I don't think I can hold on any longer.
I'm holding her close, trying to ease her pain and suffering that somehow, I know that I've inflected upon her. I didn't mean to. Why doesn't somebody tell me how to act? Is it because nobody cares? If they do not care about me, then they should at least have mercy upon this broken soul I hold within my arms.
I'm never any good with comforting her; I wish I was, but I'm not. Instead I just hold her and clumsily pat her back. How do I help her? How do I make her stop being in so much pain? How do I stop myself from doing this to her. Somebody help me help her.
Why do I feel so bad? I shouldn't care, I don't like her anyway. Do I? No, no I don't. Kikyou claimed my heart, had been since she even entered this time. Didn't she?
Should I leave her? Can I leave Kagome, leave her to get on with her disrupted life so that I could get back to mine? No, I can't do that. I know that I wouldn't be able to leave this bright soul even if I tried. I can't leave her.
But then can I leave Kikyou? No, I can't leave Kikyou. I love her, right? I love Kikyou, I must help her sprite be freed so that she may rest in peace for the rest of eternity.
The raven-haired beauty still cries within my protective hold. My thoughts once again rest on her. I do love Kikyou, I do. No. I don't. Do I? Why is life turning out so confusing. I wish I had some help.
I do not love Kikyou. This realization drifts threw my mind as Kagome's arms wrap themselves around my waist; giving me her support as I am giving mine to her. We are a circle, we are never ending. How did this happen? Can somebody answer my unasked questions? Can anybody feel the way that I do?
She looks up, and gazes into my eyes. Reading my soul as I am reading hers. Why is she doing this to me? Does she know how she affects me, does she care?
Yes, she cares. She will always care. She is Kagome.
Slowly, I bend so that my cheek rests lightly against hers, I feel her warm breath hiccupping past her lips and kiss my hair softly. I can still smell her salty wet tears, and notice that she is never without this smell. Neither was Kikyou.
That is why I had mistaken Kagome for Kikyou. They both cried.
But where Kagome cried for me, Kikyou cried for herself and her 'lost life'. Kagome never cried for herself. Maybe she should.
No! I do not want her crying, I do not want her to feel pain.
Clenching my eyes shut tighter I press my head into her neck, releasing tears of my own as my grip on her tightens. I can feel her own grasp around my waist hold me tighter to her and I smell comfort on her person.
She didn't stiffen.
She didn't gape.
She wasn't thankful.
She was just Kagome.
Please God. Let her always remain Kagome.
Please
I feel her tears threw the cloth of my harori; seeping threw to my flesh as she cries for my battered soul. She's so sad, why must I always make her sad? She doesn't deserve it, I don't deserve her.
Somebody should stop me, stop me from hurting her anymore then I already am. I don't mean to, I'm not even aware of half the horrible things I tell her until they have already left my mouth. It's just not fair to her. Somebody should stop me from destroying her innocence.
She never physically hits me. No, she's to gentle for that, but I wish that she wasn't. I wish that she would to hit me. I wish that she could scratch me, make me bleed for hurting her. Why doesn't she? Is she not able to?
How come I only attack her mentally? Is it because I know that it hurts far more then physical wounds? Do I subconsciously mean to hurt her? Somebody help me, help me save her from myself. I don't think I can hold on any longer.
I'm holding her close, trying to ease her pain and suffering that somehow, I know that I've inflected upon her. I didn't mean to. Why doesn't somebody tell me how to act? Is it because nobody cares? If they do not care about me, then they should at least have mercy upon this broken soul I hold within my arms.
I'm never any good with comforting her; I wish I was, but I'm not. Instead I just hold her and clumsily pat her back. How do I help her? How do I make her stop being in so much pain? How do I stop myself from doing this to her. Somebody help me help her.
Why do I feel so bad? I shouldn't care, I don't like her anyway. Do I? No, no I don't. Kikyou claimed my heart, had been since she even entered this time. Didn't she?
Should I leave her? Can I leave Kagome, leave her to get on with her disrupted life so that I could get back to mine? No, I can't do that. I know that I wouldn't be able to leave this bright soul even if I tried. I can't leave her.
But then can I leave Kikyou? No, I can't leave Kikyou. I love her, right? I love Kikyou, I must help her sprite be freed so that she may rest in peace for the rest of eternity.
The raven-haired beauty still cries within my protective hold. My thoughts once again rest on her. I do love Kikyou, I do. No. I don't. Do I? Why is life turning out so confusing. I wish I had some help.
I do not love Kikyou. This realization drifts threw my mind as Kagome's arms wrap themselves around my waist; giving me her support as I am giving mine to her. We are a circle, we are never ending. How did this happen? Can somebody answer my unasked questions? Can anybody feel the way that I do?
She looks up, and gazes into my eyes. Reading my soul as I am reading hers. Why is she doing this to me? Does she know how she affects me, does she care?
Yes, she cares. She will always care. She is Kagome.
Slowly, I bend so that my cheek rests lightly against hers, I feel her warm breath hiccupping past her lips and kiss my hair softly. I can still smell her salty wet tears, and notice that she is never without this smell. Neither was Kikyou.
That is why I had mistaken Kagome for Kikyou. They both cried.
But where Kagome cried for me, Kikyou cried for herself and her 'lost life'. Kagome never cried for herself. Maybe she should.
No! I do not want her crying, I do not want her to feel pain.
Clenching my eyes shut tighter I press my head into her neck, releasing tears of my own as my grip on her tightens. I can feel her own grasp around my waist hold me tighter to her and I smell comfort on her person.
She didn't stiffen.
She didn't gape.
She wasn't thankful.
She was just Kagome.
Please God. Let her always remain Kagome.