Walden College gets a new President

by colonellunchmeat

Duke becomes President of the college where Mike, Mark, Zonker,Boopsie, B.D.,Bernie and Nicole is is before the strip fell apart, after they graduated in 1983

ZONKER'S ENTHUSIASM

I feel for President King, man. It can't be easy to run a school like Walden. Mark feels terrible about having let King sip from whatever-it-was with the psilocybin that was next to King's whiskey sour at the reunions. Mark should give up bartending at the reunions anyway. It's not like professional tanning, anyway.

So yeah, I called Duke. My uncle enjoys administrative positions. Governor of New Samoa, ambassador to Peking-now Beijing, coaching the Redskins. None have ended that well, but life's hard, man. We need to revamp America. Maybe with a chocolate Bible.

I hope Duke will enjoy the job. Being a college president is out of his usual expertise. Duke himself went to a-a sort of postal university, the Presbyterian Seminary of the Divine Light Mission, or something where you apply in the back of "Soldier of Fortune" magazine, right between the ads for the autographed pictures of Jesus, which Duke used to peddle at nursing homes, and the Asian mail-order bride catalogues.

"In the hard knock life, nephew, one must avoid the hard knocks." Wow.