My first song fic everyone! please be nice!
It's "If You're Not The One" By Daniel Bedingfield.
I wonder... is he related to Natasha Bedingfield or whatever her name is?
Someone want to check that out for me and get back to me on that?
Thank you.
And now, our guest of honor:
Jace: Hello.
Me: Jace darling! I hope you liked it.
Jace: *dryly* Oh yeah. Give everyone a look into my heart and mind, why don't you!
Me: But i was right, wasn't i?
Jaec: *stays silent and pointedly looks away from me*
Me: Thought so.
DISCLAIMEr: I did the little r on purpose, just to let you know. Anyways... I don't own the song, or the Mortal instruments. he he. Just showing you all what i thought Jace was feeling through the series!
If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
Jace glanced at Clary as she sat looking bored in the library. He couldn't help but feel the happiness surge through him. Ok. So maybe she was supposed to be just his sister, but he was just so happy she was here.
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
Clary slipped her hand into Jace's as they walked, surprisingly making his heart skip a beat. He could barely breathe. Her hand felt so right in his, the way there fingers matched up and they way hers just slipped between the spaces between his. It hurt him that he couldn't call her his.
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
He stroked her cheek and her eyes fluttered close. He could feel her here, not just see her but feel her. She was right here, right in front of him and he could tell even if he couldn't see her face. And the way she was leaning into his hand, God, she could feel it too, the way their hearts beat as one, in the same rhythm.
How was this wrong?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?
He looked around, his strength sapping. The demon had been large, had been dangerous. He had so many injuries, but that was so unimportant. What was important was…
Clary.
There she was, looking frightened, her eyes wide, but coming toward him, her arms outstretched. He reached her, took her into his arms and, although he could barely stand, he made it through. For her.
I never know what the future brings
But I know you're here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
Jace looked at her, seizing his moment as the fairy Queen spoke. He wouldn't be able to do this any other time. All he had was now. All he wanted was now. They would get through it but now was all that mattered. Only now.
He loved her so much.
I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Jace ran from her. Well, more like walked away f=without another cold hearted word. She screamed for him, yelled for him to come back and face her, to tell her that he hated her. But he couldn't! Just couldn't. He loved her. Loved her so much. Why couldn't she see that? Why was it so wrong for them to love each other?
You're her brother! a rude voice sneered in the back of his mind.
Then why, Jace thought, why are we so perfect for each other if we're not meant to be? Why would we be made for each other if we're not supposed to be with each other?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
Jace wanted her to hold him forever and ever and never let go. But if they stayed locked in an embrace a moment longer, people would talk. And, for her sake, that just couldn't happen. So, he untangled himself from her and walked away, trying so hard not to look into her eyes.
If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
Jace didn't cry. It just didn't happen. But the second he saw Clary with Simon, the mundane, he just knew. Knew that they had something that he and Clary could never have. Could never have, no matter how much he or she wanted it.
And so, he had gone home, thrown himself onto his small mattress and cried his heart out.
"Jace?" he heard. Alec. Why couldn't he understand that he wanted to be left alone.
"Just leave Alec," he responded, trying to keep his voice from shaking.
And he had left.
And Jace had cried.
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
Clary, Clary, Clary, Clary, Clary…
"Jace? Jace? Are you even listening to me?"
"Hmm," the young Shadowhunter responded. He wasn't really paying attention. It was Isabelle after all.
"Jace, listen to me. You need to focus. We have important things to do and-"
Clary, Clary, Clary, Clary, Clary…
"JACE!"
"What!" he said, startled.
Isabelle just shook her head and walked away. He was not ever going to listen. She was secretly happy, though. She knew that look in his eyes. He was thinking about her.
"Oh, Jace…" she whispered as she heard him murmur her name.
Clary, Clary, Clary…
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
Jace's fingers itched. He was dying to call her, to pick up his phone and pour his heart out to her, but he knew it wasn't worth it, that it would just hurt her in the long run.
So he counted. Counted how far away she was from him.
Two miles, five yards, two feet, seven inches. Two miles, five yards, two feet, seven inches. Two miles, five yards, two feet, seven inches.
Only that far. He could go after her. But he wouldn't. Wouldn't make it harder for her.
God, she was way too far away.
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
She walked down the aisle, the white dress cascading around her. Her bright orange hair flowed around her in waves and the veil around her head was like a halo, her dark green eyes bright behind the gauze. Watching him.
He stood at the altar, twiddling his thumbs, and Alec put a hand on his shoulder to calm him. "Relax. She's here, she's here."
And she was.
Time passed by and then, he was at a hospital, in a room a beautiful woman lying down in the hospital bed, her bright orange hair around her. In her arms, a small bundle. He walked forward and she smiled, the ring on her finger glimmering, and held the bundle out to him.
He took the bundle and looked down, happiness filling him like light. The baby was so small, so precious, with golden locks that were plastered to its head and when the baby opened its eyes, he caught his breath: they were the same deep honey, gold as his.
A tiny fist gripped his finger and he felt his heart flutter as he looked at the woman on the bed. "Congratulations," she said breathlessly, a smile on her face, "you're a daddy, Jace. Meet baby Stephan."
…
Jace bolted upright in bed. It was two o'clock in the morning. He was still seventeen, Clary was still his sister and they were still never going to be together.
He couldn't get to sleep after that.
I don't know life so far away
But I know that its just a trip
Nothing seemed to matter anymore. It all just seemed too far away. Like nothing mattered anymore. She was never going to be his and he was just going to have to accept that.
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I'm praying you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
Jace could see it again. Clary with a small blond haired boy and a baby girl with bright red hair and his eyes. He could see the old Wayland Manor, but infused with happier memories, the old ones gone and never coming back.
He saw their own family tomb, their names carved into the marble, side by side, the year of death the same, the day the same, the month the same, the same exact hour, minute and second.
He saw a long beautiful life with her as he looked into her eyes and in front of Isabelle and Alec, told her how she was everything she was not, just to get her to go home and be safe, so that maybe, just n=maybe, though he knew it would never be, they would be able to pursue that dream.
He knew they never would.
I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
"Let me lay with you?" he asked.
"Climb into bed, it's late. And close the blinds too." He had been so surprised. He had almost fallen over himself to do as she wished, but managed to look smooth while doing so. He was even more surprised that she was holding his hand, that he felt at peace.
He couldn't imagine how what they felt was wrong. He just couldn't. But it was and right now, he didn't even care. She was all he needed. All he wanted.
And then, in the morning, he would be running again.
Running for the last time.
And if there was any way, any way at all that he could stay where he was, he would. Just stay with her arms sneaking around him in her sleep, stay with the warmth of her breath in his ear.
Stay in her arms.
'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side
He knew he was going to die. He knew it. Sebastian would kill him. He knew. He accepted. But he missed her, missed her lying next to him, missed her spirit, the way she looked at life. Missed her so bad, that he ignored the conversation for a moment and could only sit there, barely breathing as he thought of her.
He thought of Clary, drew strength from her. He was going to kill Sebastian, if that was the last thing he did.
He loved her, whether it was wrong or right. He didn't care that they had the same mother, the same father. He didn't care if the whole world would frown upon their love, didn't care if God himself frowned upon their passion.
He loved her.
He wished he could be beside her, wished he could be next to her. But he knew he had to do this. He knew that she knew that he had left his heart to her, left his heart in her care, next to her, forever in her.
He knew that she understood that he was all hers.
And no one else's.
I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
They had won. He understood now that he could love her. But would she love him? He found himself running again, running with the fear that his love would never be complete. Running now that he didn't understand his own past anymore and was too afraid to see it head on.
Running as always.
He didn't want to run anymore.
So he waited for her.
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
He knew they were made for each other, that no one, not Aline, not his family, not the Seelie Queen, not VALENTINE, no one could tell them they weren't. He waited for her, saw her looking breathtakingly beautiful and stutter her feelings out.
He felt his whole world light.
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
She held him their first night together. He couldn't help it. He had taken her home after the fireworks. He had told her how much he loved her. And then it had just… happened.
And it was wonderful.
And so, he lay there, her warm body pressed against his, their skin warm to the touch, her breathing shallow and deep. He pushed her hair away from her face and kissed her brow. She moved closer to him in her sleep, murmuring his name and how she loved him.
He felt his heart beat faster, tried to slow it so it wouldn't wake her up, failed miserably.
And felt her arms curl around him tighter.
And he smiled.
If there was anyway he could stay in her arms forever, he would, but he knew in the morning he would have to quickly get up when she awoke and leave before her mother caught them. He would have to date her properly, of course, probably for a year or until she turned eighteen. Then he would ask her to marry him.
Shadowhunters did tend to do things a whole lot earlier than mundanes.
And everyone would be expecting it sooner or later.
Even she would.
And at that though, he smiled and stayed in her arms, for as long as he could.
Ok. So i know that those aren't the real words for the 'Let Me Lay With You Scene'. But i didn't have the book on me, so... Yeah, Sorry.
Anyways! How was that? You might want to listen to the song while you read, it might help and make it meaningful, but they were the two things that popped into my head and their forbidden love screamed through this song, you know?
So, REVIEW!
That button, it's calling to you.
Jace: That was actually pretty good, you know.
Me: Thanks. I think...O.o
Jace: *charming smile*
Me: *smack upside the head*
If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?