From: Spike*

Slayer, get your ass out of bed! You have training with squat #3 of baby Slayers in 10 minutes. I haven't seen you around the bleeding Council all day!

And, fyi, I made breakfast! Which, if you're still in bed, has grown legs by now and gone out in search of someone who isn't too lazy to get up and eat it. Or, you know, not. 'Cause it probably doesn't fancy being eaten. Really not something you two have in common, yeah?

From: my golden girl

Spike,

1. It's the Slayer's Academy now, not the Watcher's Council.

2. Fyi? Really? You gotta stop chatting with Dawn! She's ruining all that Oxford education you got back when there were dinosaurs around.

3. How come I didn't know you can make pancakes?!

4. Do you realize I could READ your smirk after that last disgusting sentence?

So, FYI, I think I'm sick, my head feels like it's going to explode and when you come home you might find pieces of Buffy-brain all over the bedroom.

From: Spike*

Don't care how we call the place. Still gives you cryptic clues about prophecies that aren't actually gonna happen and makes you run around killing things. Not that I mind the later.

This dinosaur will bite your ass tonight, Slayer!

You didn't know I could make pancakes 'cause I knew I would be slaving in the kitchen for the rest of my unlife once you found out. Bugger.

And you didn't seem to find it all that disgusting last night.

p.s. No worries, pet, I'm pretty sure you don't have enough brains to cover the whole bedroom.

From: my golden girl

That's it? I tell you I'm sick and you just go on bitching about Giles' stupid prophecy-that-was-not from last week? and make a joke (that's so not funny) about my intellectual abilities?!

And, anyway, how was I supposed to know? He made it sound like a big deal! You know, with all the 'oh dear's' and the glasses polishing. It seemed like a regular we-might-all-be-dead-in-an-hour situation. So you and Xander missed poker night. Whatever! If I remember correctly I was the one covered in demon guts and YOU got in the shower first!

5 minutes later

From: my golden girl

Hello! Sick love of your life here! You can at least entertain me with lame SMS's or something. Did you take my class with the girls? If so prepare to have your inbox full of Buffy once it's over. I'm bored and in pain and we are supposed to share everything, yeah?

10 minutes

From: my golden girl

Spike, please, buy some pills for sore throat on your way home, my head seems to have company.

2 minutes

From: my golden girl

And something for my nose... Just need you to come home, OK?

3 hours

From: my golden girl

Add chicken soup, playing nurse and massages to the list of things Spike will be forever doing for Buffy.

I love you.