Limits

Chapter 1: Of Realizations and Epiphanies

Alice! Damn. I'd forgotten to account for her in my plans. He must have her watching me.

"She got nervous when your future rather abruptly disappeared five minutes ago."

My eyes, already wide with surprise, popped wider.

"Because she can't see the wolves, you know," he explained in the same low murmur. "Had you forgotten that? When you decide to mingle your fate with theirs, you disappear, too. You couldn't know that part, I realize that. But can you understand why that might make me a little . . . anxious? Alice saw you disappear, and she couldn't even tell if you'd come home or not. Your future got lost, just like theirs.

"We're not sure why this is. Some natural defense they're born with?" He spoke as if he were talking to himself now, still looking at the piece of my truck's engine as he twirled it in his hands. "That doesn't seem entirely likely, since I haven't had any trouble reading their thoughts. The Blacks' at least. Carlisle theorizes that it's because their lives are so ruled by their transformations. It's more an involuntary reaction than a decision. Utterly unpredictable, and it changes everything about them. In that instant when they shift from one form to the other, they don't really even exist. The future can't hold them. . . ."

I listened to his musing in stony silence.

"I'll put your car back together in time for school, in case you'd like to drive yourself," he assured me after a minute.

With my lips mashed together, I retrieved my keys and stiffly climbed out of the truck.

"Shut your window if you want me to stay away tonight. I'll understand," he whispered just before I slammed the door.

I bit my tongue to keep myself from lashing out at him. I jammed my fingers in my pockets. I could feel the anger and rage bubbling deep inside me. My hands shook from the force of it. His expression remained stony. Without another word, I walked into the house.

The fury was fueling my steps. I reached my room, and I slammed the window shut. I drew the curtains, and fell onto the bed. His behavior was deplorable. No one should be allowed to act like this. Suddenly, an epiphany struck me. I had been allowing Edward to do. I didn't set boundaries with him in the first place. I allowed him to make all the decisions without protesting. If I couldn't even respect myself, then how could I expect him to respect my wishes?

Respect…

I laughed bleakly at that word. Tears started to gather around my eyes. I held them back. For once in my life, I would be strong. I wouldn't allow him or his ridiculous decisions to affect me this way. Everyone had their limits, and Edward just crossed mine.

"Bella! Do you want to have some dinner?"

My dad's words interrupted my musings.

"No, thanks!" I replied.

I couldn't allow Edward to treat me like this. His words echoed in my head:

"She got nervous when your future rather abruptly disappeared five minutes ago."

Alice allowed Edward to know that I planned to see Jacob. Even she was keeping me from seeing my best friend. The rage was back in full force. I grabbed the pillow and screamed into it. Even someone who I considered to be a friend didn't respect my wishes. Enough was enough. I would show them I could be resourceful as well. I would show them I didn't need their fucking permission to do anything.

My resolve grew stronger. Although I loved Edward and his family beyond measure, there needed to be certain limits on what they can and can't do. My self-respect can't and won't be compromised.

I slammed my hand on the snooze button of the alarm. I covered my mouth with my hand to stifle the yawn. Sleep hadn't come easily. Glancing at the mirror, I noticed my wayward hair. I raked my fingers across my hair to tame it. I could never compare to the beauty of the Cullens.

No...No...No...

I couldn't think like this. Putting them on a pedestal would be a huge mistake. It was as if a light went of inside my head. I couldn't keep thinking negatively about myself and placing them above me. This vicious cycle had to stop. My anger rose again, but this time it wasn't only at Edward. It was at myself. I actively put myself down because I couldn't match a ridiculously high standard of beauty in my head. I couldn't expect myself to look like him.

Unfeasible...Unrealistic...and just wrong

However, that didn't mean I couldn't at least try to look decent. Sifting through my closet, I picked a nice pair of dark wash jeans and a long-sleeved lace shirt. Examining myself in mirror, I actually liked the way I looked.

Not bad

I snickered at my internal monologue. My thoughts shifted to Edward. His overprotective tendencies were unbearable, but Alice, Jasper, Esme, and perhaps Carlisle agreed with his behavior.

Look at Bella...The weak human who can't walk across a flat surface without tripping...someone who had no self preservation skills...someone who was inept at everything in life...

My hands began to shake again. I took a deep breath to calm myself. The first thing I needed to do was how to confront Edward about my feelings. The word confrontation didn't resonate well with me. A reasonable discussion about his behavior would suffice. He needed to realize his behavior was unacceptable. Not only that, but he also needs to realize I am capable of making my own decisions. I wasn't a fucking doll. I wasn't some toy he and his family could pick and play with whenever they wished. Just because I was a human didn't mean I was completely incompetent.

Thoughts of inadequacies rushed through my mind. I mused about Edward's departure. His words had cut across my skin like lashes. I clutched at my heart at the pain the words still created within me. Gritting my teeth, I walked down the stairs. I needed to actually discuss Edward about his harsh words and actions. His explanations about just protecting me fell short. I knew there were deeper reasons for why he left. His reasons were far too shallow.

I grabbed some cereal from the cabinet and noticed a note attached to the cabinet.

Bella,

I had to go to the station early today. See you later.

- Charlie

I placed the note back onto the cabinet. I didn't want to have a discussion with Edward right away. I needed time to gather my thoughts and articulate them properly. I couldn't let him distract me from the important issues. I finally reached my limit with Edward's ridiculous evasions and explanations.

Author's Note: I wanted to write a fanfiction where Bella goes through a metamorphosis. The italicized text from the first part was taken directly from Eclipse. There is a lot of inner thoughts in this chapter, but there will be more dialogue in the next chapter. Please let me know what you think! Read and review!