Niko: what are you talking about?
Lyra: It's allergy season. AND I HATE IT!!
Duo: I'm with her. I have allergies too and I hate 'em.
Quatre: Try an allergy pill.
Lyra: I tried most of them. Claritin, Flonase, Allerin, Allergra, Zyrtec… nothing works
WuFei: Allergies are for the weak!
Trowa: …
Lyra: It's not my fault! If it were up to me, NO ONE would have allergies! *sniff* I CAN'T
BRETHE!
Duet: *searching through the medicine drawer* Nothing in here. Maybe they'll be something
on TV.
HALF HOUR LATER
Lyra: *sitting behind a mountain of her own tissues* Anything?
Heero: *flipping through the channels* Nothing yet
Trowa: Wait. Go back I saw something
Lyra: *behind the tissues* What is it?
Duo: It's an allergy pill! Its called Floxinad.
Lyra: *digs herself out of the pile of tissues*
Commercial: Can cure any symptoms that you have just take twice a day and you'll forget you even have allergies!
Quatre: Sounds like it might work.
Commercial: WARNING! MAY CAUSE: sleepiness, insomnia, drowsiness, internal bleeding, diabetes, liver disease, lung cancer, dry mouth, constipation, diarrhea, sexual side effects, tumors, pneumonia, the flu, lime disease, runny nose, brain hemorrhage, blood clots, heart failure, intestinal gas, seizure, stroke, Alzheimer's disease, obsessive compulsive disorder…
All: WHAT?! All that from an allergy pill?
Commercial: Yup and even more now let me finish… Ahem… where was I? Oh yes…
Lu Gehrigs disease, claustrophobia, loss of red blood cells, loss of white blood cells, may stick to certain types of skin, may make you attractive to lice, may make you attractive to priests/nuns, may cause you to believe that you're Abraham Lincoln, hallucination, amnesia, kleptomania, deafness, blindness, being paralyzed, muteness, hemorrhoids, 3rd degree burns, hives, rash, exima, asthma, athletes foot, fungus, paranoia, temporary or permanent loss of sanity, chicken pox, small pox, poison ivy, malaria, e coli, salmonella, tapeworms,
Heero: This is ridiculous! How many side effects are there?
Commercial: A lot more and you better get comfortable because I've got a long way to go now before I was so rudely interrupted I believe I left off on this one… may become addicted to alcohol, increased drug intake, birth defects, acceleration in hair growth, baldness, may cause some women to have beards, itchy eyes, dry throat, acne, dry skin, dandruff, radiation, may cause global warming, greenhouse effect, fires, tornadoes, alien encounters, alien invasion, hurricanes, flash floods, severe draught, terrorist attack, overactive bladder, snake attack, insect invasion,…
Duet: Global warming?
Commercial: Yes there are certain risks in taking a miracle product! Now moving along… greenhouse effect, fires, tornadoes, alien encounters, alien invasion, hurricanes, flash floods, severe draught, terrorist attack, overactive bladder, snake attack, insect invasion severe body odor, warts, wedgies, pimples, uncontrollable sweating, kidney failure, lock jaw, cursing, bulimia, anorexia, cavities, tooth decay, hepatitis C, leukemia, nasal clogs, nasal cave-in, chocking, swollen faces, homophobia, brain swelling, earthquake, famine, hoof and mouth disease, mad cow disease, tragic car accidents, attraction to people of the same gender, increased growth, shrinking, volcanic eruptions, fever, keep out of reach of children, do not use near open flame, do not use in temperatures below 100oF, or above 100oF, extremely flammable, may cause increased hatred for bus drivers, if pregnant, children may be born without bones, may randomly sing "I Will Survive",
Duo: Come on how many people can actually take this stuff?
Commercial: Approximately 3 in all of Japan!
All: 3?!
Commercial: Yes 3, and 10 people in the WHOLE EARTH!
All: 10 PEOPLE?!
Commercial: is there an echo in here? YES 10! Okay! Now let me finish… do not take if you are under 21 or over 20,
Quatre: if you have to be over 21 but under 20 how can you take it?
Commercial: SHUT UP AND LET ME FINISH! *clears throat*…increased blondeness, may cause Earth to fly into other planets, may blow up the sun, memory loss, killing rampages, may start going around saying "Yeah baby, Yeah!" like Austin Powers, may start sweeping roofs, hot flashes, thinking left is right and right is left, eye swelling, loss of fingernails, a new ice age, may cause you to get run over by a truck, bloatedness, holes in the ozone layer, ultra violent rays, rape, shark attacks, cravings to eat minnows, obsession over the trumpet, forgetting to put on pants, eating disorders, overeating, scoliosis, rickets, Parkinson's disease, rockslides, mudslides, forest fires, blizzards, growing a tail, may cause your lungs to burst, may start showing the characteristics of a raccoon, sinus infections, low blood pressure, drunk driving, deeper voice, hypertension, love for eggs, imaginary friends, shortness of breath, inflammation of the colon, heart attacks, increased age, decreased age, barking, extra toes and or fingers, growth of wheels and or wings, forgetting what time period that you're in, becoming hypnotized, attacking people with shoes and or trumpet cases,
Trowa: *checks watch* How long is this commercial?
Commercial: 23 minutes and it keeps getting longer with all you onnas interrupting!
Duo: *knocks on the TV* WuFei? Is that you in there?
WuFei: *behind Duo* I'm right here damnit!
Duo: *slightly disappointed* Oh
Commercial: Can I just finish my job please? …twitching, may grow an extra layer of skin, my turn different colors, clogging in the arteries, itchiness, shortened attention span, thinking everyone that you meet is a masked murderer, your house may explode, can be used as a bomb, muscle spasms, vomiting, may lose your soul to the devil, you may become a demon, may acquire the ability to change into different animals, decreased foot size, increased foot shoe size, may make you visible on radar, cramps, loss of appetite, increased hunger, body parts may fall off, nightmares about man eating bras, drowning (even if you're nowhere near water),
Heero: now this plain doesn't make sense!
Commercial: You guys are really pissing me off with all your rambling, it's almost over so just chill…counting everything, death to a family member, high cholesterol, bone fractures, mutation, may make you resemble Regis Philbin, scars, low calcium, skin infections, developed allergies, scarlet fever, mumps measles, weasel attacks, black and white vision, eating plastic, (on a good note) may kill Osama bin Laden, closet monsters, monsters under the bed, broken fingernails, chipped teeth, goats, meteor showers, Spongebob Squarepants marathons, red eyes, pink eye, glow in the dark tongues, pirate attacks, writers block, root canals, THE END OF THE WOOOOORLD, Hell on Earth, increased spirit energy SPIRIT GUNS
Niko: HELLO! This may be news to you but this is a GUNDAM WING FIC! Yu Yu Hakisho is over there!
Commercial: but I LOVE Yu Yu Hakisho!
Lyra: So do I!
Everyone else: *deathglare*
Lyra: *sweatdrop* sorry. But it's a cool show. And it's the only good one on Adult Swim besides Cowboy Bebop and Outlaw Star. Pilot Candidate pisses me off!
Niko: Why?
Lyra: It's a take-off on Gundam Wing
Commercial: *taps foot* HELLO!!! This is my commercial! I need to finish it the commercial break is almost over!
WuFei: does that mean that this stupid commercial is almost over?
Commercial: Yes now SHUUUUT UUUUUUP!!! …may become an addict to the following: LSD, heroine, rubber cement, glue, marijuana coke (cocaine), Coca Cola, grass (literally), mistletoe (once again, literally), and other drugs not listed, may cough up hairballs, shedding, meowing, growth of claws, and may cause you to commit suicide. This pill can only be taken on days ending in Y and you can only take it in Rhode Island on April 25. WE HOPE YOU ENJOY OUR NEW ALLERGY PRODUCT!
All: *silence*
Commercial: Oh sure, now you all shut up.
Heero: Is it over?
Trowa: It's over.
All: YAY! ^_^
OWARI
Niko: What could've possibly possessed you to write that?
Lyra: It was an idea that my friend and I came up with during lunch break at work. She has her own list.
Niko: What were you on that day?
Lyra: 5 bars of chocolate and 2 chibi Coca Colas.
Niko: That explains the stupidity!
Lyra: And listening to a certain someone chant an annoying "The King and I" thing, and the Super Mario Bros. Techno Remix.
Niko: I'm not even going to ask about those last two.
Lyra: Don't. Anyway, no one flame me about anything I wrote. It's not meant to offend anyone who actually has any of that stuff or knows anybody or whatever. And don't forget to review.
Niko: Before we end this, how in Pilot Candidate a take-off on Gundam Wing?
Lyra: There are five main characters, they're all 15, were born on colonies in space, they pilot big robots, the main character looks just like Heero, the second main character is a crazy American who never shuts up, the third is a kid with weird bangs who never talks, the fourth is a blonde haired, blue eyed pacifist, and the fifth kid hates women. There's more but I'm probably going to get flamed for saying just that. Please review and goodbye!
PS If anyone has any suggestions for more side effects just put it in the review and I'll add it on.