Spinning out from the Torture the Louds: The 316th Edition story by the one and only MP5-wielding D, comes a whole new fic that is completely unnecessary, serving only for amusement and also an even worse April Fools joke.

Allie and Lilith bit the big one, both being the next victims of the maniacal writer who proved to be more unhinged than Flagg1991, as noted by a peculiar discord chat thread. Both girls were tied up to chairs, alone in a warehouse. Well, not for long, as D had returned with a bucket of KFC, and the crispy kind. "Hey, you little runts! Wakey wakey!"

Allie grunted when she came to, and the first thing she did was try to break free from her chained confinement. "What the-?" She couldn't get out. "WHAT-?!"

D stood in front of her, gnawing on a drumstick. "Hi, there! Does Vale know what I'm doing to you?"

"Who?" Allie tilted her head to the side, and saw the familiar face of Lilith, still dozed off. "Hey! Hey-"

D smacked her face with a drumstick. "No, bad."

Allie grunted again, visibly getting angry. "Let me go, and I'll go easy on you, I promise."

D shook his head. "Not a chance in hell, sweetheart," he stated as he stomped on her leg to make her scream, and then stuffed the drumstick down her throat when she let out a deafening roar of pain. She gurgled on the meat, and tried to spit it out, only D was way ahead of her, and denied her the chance by ramming it down her throat. "No, you die here, and in such a dumbass way, too."

At that point, Lilith was awake. She looked to her friend and screamed when Allie was choking to death. And D ran to the exit, giggling like a whore. "B-R-B, L-M-A-O!"

Lilith cried like a bitch, up until an armored Mac truck plowed through the warehouse, speeding right at her. She screamed two seconds before she was struck so hard that the front of the truck had received a freshly new paint job. D didn't stop for shit, and escaped out the other end with the truck. "Here we go, motherfuckers!"

D vs the Loudiverse-Prime, Chapter One: Oh No, What Will Epikalroo Think?! Fuck It.

He didn't care to give the truck a good hose down, but he did go through the less-traveled roads. Now, I know what you're thinking. This has been done before in that other fic, but its complicated, alright? The universe has been reset and all whom D has killed are alive again! C'mon, we need more of these fics! Am I right, Bonnie Beatnik?

The main ten were alive. How many times were they gonna die right after today? Where were they right now? D sighed. "Miserable vermin," he mumbled angrily, speeding away back to Royal Woods.

Luna and Sam had a movie night, and settled for the cinemas. The movie was Love, Simon, a suitable choice for both who were members of the LGBT community. In a twisted turn of events, Linka and Lupa were there, seated right next to them. "Hey, this ship wasn't supposed to make it past where it originated from!" C'mon, I shoved Leipa to Flagg once, why not try this one? Crack ship sails again!

D had to come there politically correct, so he ended up taking a redhead boy he barely knew, and made out with him during the trailers. The plan was to kill Luna and Sam at halfway. "Tehe."

The redhead boy had been poisoned via soda, after D had spiked it with cyanide. "Sweet dreams, boy."

The idiot had a Bowie on him, to which he took out earlier than expected, as the movie was dull and he would have rather been playing video games instead. Here he was, leaning over and stabbing both girls repeatedly. Sam's body fell over Luna's as the seated moviegoers had taken notice and evacuated in fear. Linka pointed at D and yelled, "Hey, you're the moron! Uh... What was your name again?"

D crossed his arms. "You're not allowed to break the fourth wall until Dawn Act 2!"

Linka gasped. "You're shoving me back into that hell?! I know I said I wanted more content, but this is torture-" She looked up to the fic and read the top. "Oh..." She looked down in profound realization that she was going to get hurt again. As if getting decapitated, being buried alive, or falling victim to a bomb wasn't enough! "Fuck you, D."

While Linka seethed hard, Lupa tucked her hands inside her black sweater. "Sam owed me fifty bucks, asshole," she grumbled.

D took out his wallet and handed a full hundred. "Here, now fuck off, and take Linka with you! I'll give you a head start!"

"Head stuh-" Lupa looked to Linka. "Shit, the psycho is really serious, ain't he?" She eyed the dead bodies of both her aunt and lover. "Oh, Lyra and Lina won't be happy."

D stood over the bodies, and began to laugh sadistically. "The main ten, then the Sin Kids, and then, the rest! Yeehaw!"

Linka was already running from the theater after taking Lupa's cash. "I'm gonna buy all the pizza I can!"

Lupa ran after her. "No, goddamn it! That's my cigarette money!"

Later

D drove to a ballet dance studio for Lola. Who would he find but the tomboy Lana there, seated as an audience member while the diva was elegantly dancing away among a collective of other dancers, led by the ballet teacher. The peace was cut short when D came in, this time handling an MP5. He found Lana to his left and sprayed half the mag into her body. Blood erupted out of her nonstop, with much of the bullets going through her like nothing. "Oh, my God..." D's eyed widened. "The recoil on this baby!"

Lola and the others went into a frenzy, most of them scattering about while Lola was painfully distraught at the sight of the dead Lana. "SIS!" Never had D seen someone's heart shatter into millions of pieces so fast.

He aimed the sights on her face, and unloaded everything onto her skull. The face, the beautiful face she spent so much time to keep pretty, was ripped apart in seconds. The flesh dangled loosely in mere seconds, and the blood came down, staining all over her pink... Unitard? I don't know what those are called, never cared for ballet.

"Fucking... CHRAS'!" D had only two mags left, and wasn't sure where to go from there, or to whom to give the next rounds to. "Hmmm... Three Louds down... But the title of this fic..." He began to compute it. "Maybe I should kill everyone..."

DO IT, YOU FOOL. KILL THEM ALL.

And so it shall be, that on April Fool's Day, D was going on a massacre. "Very well."

Lynn, Margo, Polly and Paula were in a two-versus-two basketball, up until the armored truck came trundling through the park they were in. Paula was the first to get run over from the four. D came out with a crossbow after crashing into a tree while trying to turn. "Fuck me!"

Polly took an arrow to the knee, followed by the face. Margo and Lynn were long gone, but fortunately for D, Polly had rollerblades. Unfortunately, he knew not how to ride them.

Didn't stop him from trying. "Heeeeeere's Slappy!" A pity he didn't have flamethrowing water guns to complete it. He only had so many arrows but he did end up missing, as well as falling. This was completely awkward and ridiculous for him on so many levels. "Hey, me, can we speed it up a-?"

Lynn and Margo were dead, heads bashed in by the crossbow repeatedly, until the damn thing dented. And then sirens rang out. "Oh, the fuzz!" D ran back to the truck and sped away, before the authorities could catch him.

Luna, the twins, and Lynn were gone. The remaining bunch happened to be Luan, Leni, Lily, Lisa, Lucy, Lincoln, and Lori. Was he missing someone? No? Back to it, my boy. "Yeet."

CUE THE DEATH MONTAGE, HEIMLICH!

Luan was decapitated while performing a little mime act in public, had to be dragged personally by the psycho in black. Her audience dissipated upon looking long enough to watch her be killed by the hatchet D had.

AberrantScript called and warned D that their ties would be severed should he go on to harm Leni. How the author knew, he had no idea. But, alas, the show must go on! Leni was taking a bth in the Loud house, and D snuck in and tossed the plugged-in hair dryer into the tub. A shocking death all around, LOL.

Lily was spared as D would not ever be one to harm adorable babies. He pinched her cheeks as she slept in her crib, also letting Rita and Lynn Sr off the hook this time. Maybe he could cut off the man's penis so that there wouldn't be more damn kids being pumped out. I mean, seriously, this is basically the Sheen House.

Lisa killed herself via a miscalculation in her experiments. She blew herself up in the basement, just as D had been coming down. "Oh."

He stormed out through the window, forgetting he was on the second floor, and broke his left arm in the fall. "AGH! FIDDLESTICKS!"

A roadblock was hit when Lina came skateboarding her way to the house. "HEY, ARE YOU THE MADMAN WHO'S KILLING MY FAMILY, EVEN MY FUTURE MOTHER?!"

D scratched his head. A paradox presented itself... Or did it? "That's Javi's headcanons! You're my version of Lina Loud!"

"Uh...?" Lina was a blonde with kid Lily's hairstyle. If you have to ask, you do so at your own risk.

D broke her neck and shoved her body in the trash can. "Such a cute character. Can't wait to find out what Javi's next Samcoln kid looks like..." Huehue.

Lucy was buried alive, but knocked out after one punch. D giggled away as he shoveled dirt into the grave.

Lincoln and Lori were on double dates with Ronnie Anne and Bobby, at Jean Juan's. D saw them through the window and took a rocket to where they were. At least eight people perished in the blast. "Huh... That was... Easy. Too easy..."

Something felt off.

"Yeah... They were all in Royal Woods-" D was sidetracked as he spotted two figures both dressed as a Greninja and Milhouse from the Simpsons. "I KNOW WHAT TO DO!"

He veered off course and drove along the sidewalk.

"BJ, HELP ME!" Milhouse suit said.

"QUE PASOPA-" The Greninjafag yelled.

"PERISH!" D yelled as the big wheels ran them the fuck down. Being happy with this, he left Royal Woods through the south way out and forgot all about what he suspected. And he left it at that, humming a song. The humming was cut short when he had to apply the brakes for an unscheduled stop; right before him was a blockade made up of the Sin Kids, cutting the road off with a bunch of cars. And they were armed to the teeth and very angry looking. D set the truck to park and looked at the readers. "This is all Patanu's fault."

AN: Why am I doing this? I know not, but I was going to eventually.