The book was closed, the last act has finished, Miaka Yuuki and Yui Hongo were both back in their respective world, and everything was more-or-less back to normal. Well...almost. Miaka, having accustomed herself to the constant danger she was in during her stay in the Four God's Universe, found herself screaming 'Tamahome!' on instinct every time she was in danger. Yui, having been away from her own world so long that she had forgotten its speech patterns, was stared at every time she swore, 'by Seiryuu!' It was plain odd for the two girls in the first few weeks. Miaka and Yui renewed their friendship though, and swore never to jump to ill conclusions about each other until it was solidly confirmed and reconfirmed.
All in all, it was nice to have Keisuke and Tetsuya to help them adjust back to their old way of life. Certainly no one besides them knew their secret. Miaka, for one, found cars slightly nauseating to ride in compared to the steady rhythm of a horse's trot. Yui missed the elegant luxury of the Kutou palace, where her meals were served to her, and there were servants to wait on her.
As if that wasn't enough already, the entrance exams to Jonan high were almost upon them, forcing both to bury themselves in books instead of adjusting back to a normal life-style. Miaka's parents had highly disapproved of her trying for Jonan - not because it was a bad school but because they were almost certain that she was going to fail. Yui, needing to live up to her mother's high expectations, was studying like mad, never taking a spare minute to relax.
Normally, Miaka would be more lax in studies, preferring to let things come and take them head-on, then to prepare for it. Living in the book world hadn't been an entire waste, however, and it was only because of this that she was able to concentrate on her books. Even though her seishi were no longer with her, Miaka knew perfectly well what they would say in this matter.
Chiriko would tell her that studying was important to her future, and that it was important that she work hard to get into Jonan. Chichiri would tell her to do her very best (no da), and no less - that she might know she had tried her utmost, even if she failed (no da). Mitsukake would tell her to relax - it wasn't good for her mental health to be so worked up and nervous. Tasuki would encourage her, and give her the endurance that she so needed to get through the exams. Nuriko would lend her his strength to overcome the obstacle, and reassure her of all the doubts she was having about her abilities, and herself. Hotohori would take the time and effort to comfort her like no one else will. And Tamahome...Tamahome would tell her that he would love her unconditionally, whether she succeeded or not, he would still lover her - no matter what.
And with these thoughts in mind, Miaka studied, read, and spent more time on her books than she had ever did. It was an amazing change to those around her. None of her friends, save Yui, could understand why Miaka was suddenly turning down outings and insisting on staying indoors to study. Even her parents were shocked.
It therefore did not come as too big of a surprise when the forms returned; stating clearly had Miaka, had, in actuality, passed with points to spare. She was graciously accepted into Jonan, along with Yui, who passed with a higher mark (of course) than she. The year rolled by, and Miaka swung into her first year at Jonan. The campus was huge, larger than her old school by a great deal, with a larger lunchroom and a larger menu at the cafeteria (much to Miaka's delight). She and Yui were one of the few students who had made it to Jonan. Because of that, Miaka's other friends were all going to another, less-famed high school, which, thankfully, was still near enough that they could visit without too much trouble.
Work was never so stressing, and exams were almost a constant now. Miaka was beginning to get worn down by the nag of work. And as if the temptation of relaxation wasn't enough, some senior boys were suddenly taking an interesting in her and Yui. Mostly Yui though, because she had grown her hair long again without noticing (what with studying for exams and all) and they were starting to ask her out (much to her annoyance). Miaka was determined to stay faithful to Tamahome even though her brother had long explained to her that she wouldn't be seeing him again till her death. Which was fine with her in the long run - so long as she did see him again, this also solved the whole problem with boyfriends and dating.
School was wiping almost all available time from her schedule. Miaka was getting plumper without noticing because of her lack in movement. She also sported dark lines under her eyes and tired limbs in addition. She had almost no time to spend even with Yui, and with all that was happening, she had momentarily put thoughts of her seishi and Tamahome out of her mind.
Of course, it came as a complete and absolute shock one spring day when Keisuke and Tetsuya came dashing up to them after school. Both were looking breathless, their faces flushed in the cool spring air, and their eyes dancing. (Of course, you really couldn't see Tetsuya's eyes, but that's beside the point.)
"Miaka, come on! We've got someone you'll want to meet!" Keisuke grabbed hold of Miaka's scarf and tugged her down the road. Miaka allowed herself to be pulled, confusion on her face.
"Eh? But I've got this really big history exam coming up, and I have to study for it, or mom is going to lower my lunch allowance!" She protested feebly. She knew that once her brother was dead set on something, he was dead set, and there was no turning him back. Behind them, Tetsuya was urging Yui along, despite her protests of having to review for a biology test.
"I'm totally serious, Miaka! You've got to meet him."
Miaka only half-listened as her brother went on with how he had met him in high school. "You won't believe it...Tetsuya and I saw him in the library just last week, and he was too busy with a another exam to see you till today...he's a really cool guy, even Tetsuya says so too!"
Miaka, meanwhile, was wistfully thinking of her depleted lunch money if she didn't get to studying fast. She only just came to long enough to hear what Keisuke was babbling about next.
"He says that he has dreams of being reincarnated...and that he had a soul mate in his last life, that she was a pretty, wonderful girl who he was born to protect and be with. He says that even if he had to search a thousand years, he'd find her again..."
Miaka wasn't listening anymore, this time for a whole different reason. They had stopped under a grove of cherry trees, where a tall figure was walking out to greet them. Miaka's breath caught in her throat.
For months after returning from the book world, she had mistaken almost every male of the same height and color as Tamahome. Now though... There was almost no denying it. Unless her love-blinded mind was playing cruel tricks on her again... Behind her, Yui brought a stunned hand to her mouth. She knew Tamahome well, and this senior in front of them could've passed for his twin. His clone.
Miaka didn't believe her eyes. It wasn't true. It couldn't be... There are probably hundreds of people who looked like Tamahome. This was probably just a joke on Keisuke's part...to taunt her of her lost of her true love. Her only love...
The man stepped forward. There was a delicate, confused expression on his face. So like Tamahome, Miaka couldn't help comparing. He had the same, soft eyes, though this one did not twinkle and flash like Tamahome's. His expression was almost the same - caring, forever dedicated to one thing and one thing only.
Keisuke was looking from his friend to his sister. Miaka was sheet-white. Her hand came up to her mouth. Her eyes trembled, and a slow tear was coursing its way down her cheek. She was crying.
"Miaka?"
"You. You're the one I'm looking for," the man's face became one of relief, of accomplishment. "I used to have dreams...of a girl that I had loved. I vowed that even if it took me a thousand years, that I would find her... And now I have..."
Her head was screaming and spinning madly. The vision in front of her suddenly seemed suspiciously like a TV screen. Like everything that was happening was detached, devoid from herself. And yet... and yet...
Slowly, almost hesitantly, he held up his left hand. On his fourth finger was a single, small ring with an obscure, rose-colored gem on it. The same one... The same one... Miaka wanted to grab him and throttle him. Where did he get that?! Where had he stolen it...or bought it...or... Slowly, she looked at her own hand. A matching ring with the corresponding gem on it. The same one... The same one she had given Tamahome before he had left her...
"Tama...home?" Miaka's voice was not quite working. Tears were brimming. She was trying crying now. Yui was still shell-shocked.
"Mi...Miaka. That's it. Your name, isn't it?" He sounded excited. Miaka couldn't help it anymore. Here was a person who looked exactly like her Tamahome...who's voice sounded exactly like his, whose actions were so painfully familiar...
He took a few more steps forward, and Miaka simply collapsed into his embrace. Yui was crying by now, and she was barely aware of it. Tetsuya's expression was stone still, as always. Keisuke was almost sagging with the enormity of what had just happened.
"I told you that I'd see you again...Miaka."
~~
Twelve years later......
Miaka was crying again. Taka came up the stairs slowly. He hadn't seen his wife all morning, but he knew that she was crying. He always knew when she was crying. Padding up the carpeted steps slowly, he entered their bedroom, and spied her sitting on their double bed, staring at something in her hand and rocking back and forth.
"Honey?" He was watching her with concern. It hadn't come this bad for years. Miaka was clutching whatever was in her hand and staring into nothing, seeming dazed. Taka plucked the photograph from her hand and recognized it instantly. It was taken in the Shi Jin Te Chi Sho - a photograph of the whole gang, (all eight of them) in front of the ship they were taking to Hokkan.
"Miaka?" Taka sat down beside her. "Are you feeling well?"
"Oh, I miss them," Miaka whispered, burying her face into her husband's. 'Missed them'...how trivial that sounded, compared to the agony in her head. The throbbing pain - it wouldn't go away. Taka took the photograph, tears starting in his eyes. They were all so happy then. This was before Nuriko's untimely death...before Chiriko's...and Mitsukake's...and Hotohori's. They had all died for Miaka.
"I miss them so much...it hurts. I never imagined it could hurt like this." Miaka gave Taka a rueful smile hesitantly. "The only thing that ever came close was when I thought I had lost you."
"We all miss them," Taka replied amiably, slipping a supportive arm around his wife.
"What I wouldn't give to see them again...what I wouldn't give..." Miaka smiled through her tears.
"That time, when were drawn back to fight Tenkou, when we saw them again, for so fleeting a time, it wasn't enough."
Miaka placed he photo down with loving care and surveyed the many others that she had. Tasuki, grinning as he reached for his tessen. Hotohori and Nuriko, both framed against the palace in royal robes. Chichiri, fishing in his usual cape and kasa. Such wonderful memories...
"They'll be in our hearts forever, my love."
"I know...still, I miss them, and I will until eternity."
At that moment, the doorbell rang, signaling Yui's arrival. Even though it had been years since they had each married and finished school, they still kept such close touch, that they visited each other weekly to chat and brush up on things. Taka went downstairs to open the door. A minute later, Yui's face appeared at the door.
"Oh! Oh, Miaka! Miaka! What's wrong? You're pale!" Yui rushed over to comfort her long-time friend. Miaka was clutching her tissue, sniffing.
"She misses her seishi. Terribly." Taka answered for her. Yui lowered her eyes and sat down on the other side of her friend. They had been friends since kindergarten...and had been until now. (This not counting their time of enmity in the book world.)
Slowly, Yui glanced down and saw that the half-open drawer that Miaka usually kept locked was half open, photographs scattered every which way.
"Tell me Yui. Do you ever miss your seishi?" Miaka said, facing her friend, and drying her eyes. Yui was deep in thought. She knew that she had never had nearly as close a relationship with her seishi as Miaka did.
"I don't know. I know that I was never as close to them as you were. To me, they were just people who served and protected me. I didn't even collect them myself -Nakago...Nakago did that for me. To you, they were friends, weren't they?"
Miaka shook her head. "No Yui. To me...they were my whole world. They were my family in Konan, people I could run to when I was scared, a shelter of warm refuge when I was worried, people who could cheer me up with a smile, comfort me when I was down, give a quick joke to make me laugh. We were joined by a common bond, even though we had nothing in common."
Tears were coming down Miaka's cheeks again. It pained her to remember. Taka sighed. "Don't cry. We had happy times together, didn't we?"
Miaka stopped sobbing long enough to contemplate. "Of course." She said softly, reaching for yet another photo.
"The star gazing festival. The one Tasuki, Nuriko and I went to just after the ceremony failure. I remember it so well... We had fun there. The most fun I had had with Nuriko before...before..." Miaka choked on her words, but forced them out. They sounded flat and dead. "Before he died."
Yui's breath caught. Miaka was speaking in an amazingly clear voice, listing all the wonderful things that she did with her seishi. Stargazing festivals, adventures through Konan, taverns and countryside, mountains and oceans. All the things that her seishi would never have done for her. It was amazing, and to think...
"The doom of the mikos..." Yui shook her head. To this day, she still blamed herself for Miaka's grief in the Shijintenchisho. "After the book...none of them will ever be the same again. The experience in the book...experiences of life, death, bonds closer than family, the power of the gods...it would change them forever."
"I know." Miaka replied simply. "But I would've rather have met them, and then suffer for a thousand years, than to have never met them at all."
It made Yui drift to her own thoughts. Miaka and her had been best friends for so long, yet she couldn't help feeling the slightest pains of envy. She would rather had met then and suffered, than to have never met them at all... Yui knew that she wasn't missing her seishi because she never knew then as Miaka did, yet that condition seemed worse compared to Miaka's now. And it had been her own fault. Her own fault, for so blindly trusting Nakago, for betraying Miaka's trust, for all the suffering she had caused her friend. If she could have one wish, it would be that she never had accepted to being Seiryuu no Miko. Miaka should not suffer for her mistakes.
"Miaka, did your seishi love you?" Yui wondered. She knew her seishi would never lover her. Save perhaps Suboshi, the little fool.
"Yes, we did." The answer came from Taka. "Nuriko, Hotohori, and I never realized what a profound impact she had had on our lies until she left for three months. In that time..."
"In fact, by the near end of our adventures, we each were so close to her that we loved her unconditionally. Even if Suzaku had denounced her as miko, and she had become an ordinary girl again, we still would have protected her. With our lives. Every one of us." Taka shook his head a little, as if disbelieving his own sincerity.
Yui sighed, not quite understanding how anyone could be that close. She had been a fool to think that Nakago had loved her. She knew now that he would have discarded her like he had discarded everyone else the moment she became an ordinary girl again.
Miaka sighed. "They'd be dead now, I know. It's been over ten years here, and the time difference makes their world age much faster than ours."
"Honey, you know we'll see them again - in heaven. And Suzaku willing, we might live again, together.":
Miaka stood, shutting the photos back into the drawer lovingly. It wouldn't do if the children saw such photos. They would ask questions, and the truth might frighten them. Miaka sincerely did not want to, but what had to be done, had to be done.
Outside, in the garden, Toriko and Niaru were playing chase, one of them was waving a pretend sword while the other hid. Both were screaming in delight. Such innocence, Miaka thought. She only wanted her children to be happy, and safe.
Keisuke had once asked her if she thought it odd that only Tamahome had been reborn into their world. Miaka was ecstatic about the idea of Nuriko, Tasuki, and the others being reborn also.
"Miaka, they...might not remember you. Perhaps, if you expect that, it won't be too bad a shock."
"They might not have," Miaka defended herself. "Suzaku merciful, they might not have forgotten me, and if they'd been reborn, I'll find them - if they've been reborn."
Her brother had promised to help if anything had turned up. Miaka had not given up hope. She was still looking, checking the faces of the people she met for familiar features, talking to many strangers to see if they knew of a past life, or a reincarnation.
"I'll find them," Miaka told herself. "Even if it takes an eternity, I'll find them." Who's to say they have forgotten her? What if they were looking for her too, like Taka had been doing? If they had lost their memories, Miaka was assured by the fact that there was still hope. It would be taxing to go through the whole memory globe process again, but for her seishi, it would be worth it. Her seishi, who have done so much for her... protected her, comforted her in times of need, was a friend when she was lonely, offered to her the world, and four of whom died serving her in the end.
None of her seishi had known it - not even Tamahome - but deep in her heart, Miaka had mentally recorded each and every time her seishi had helped her. Every time she was transported through Chichiri's kasa, every time Nuriko punched through a wall, every time Hotohori drew his sword, Miaka had embedded it into her meager memory, and the fact that she had done nothing to repay them had made her feel almost empty.
I'll find them again, Miaka told herself. I will...I swear by Suzaku. Hotohori, Nuriko, Tasuki, Chichiri, Mitsukake, and Chiriko...we'll meet again, ne? On wings of heaven, we'll live for eternity. My brother stars... We'll meet again...
~~The Beginning~~
All in all, it was nice to have Keisuke and Tetsuya to help them adjust back to their old way of life. Certainly no one besides them knew their secret. Miaka, for one, found cars slightly nauseating to ride in compared to the steady rhythm of a horse's trot. Yui missed the elegant luxury of the Kutou palace, where her meals were served to her, and there were servants to wait on her.
As if that wasn't enough already, the entrance exams to Jonan high were almost upon them, forcing both to bury themselves in books instead of adjusting back to a normal life-style. Miaka's parents had highly disapproved of her trying for Jonan - not because it was a bad school but because they were almost certain that she was going to fail. Yui, needing to live up to her mother's high expectations, was studying like mad, never taking a spare minute to relax.
Normally, Miaka would be more lax in studies, preferring to let things come and take them head-on, then to prepare for it. Living in the book world hadn't been an entire waste, however, and it was only because of this that she was able to concentrate on her books. Even though her seishi were no longer with her, Miaka knew perfectly well what they would say in this matter.
Chiriko would tell her that studying was important to her future, and that it was important that she work hard to get into Jonan. Chichiri would tell her to do her very best (no da), and no less - that she might know she had tried her utmost, even if she failed (no da). Mitsukake would tell her to relax - it wasn't good for her mental health to be so worked up and nervous. Tasuki would encourage her, and give her the endurance that she so needed to get through the exams. Nuriko would lend her his strength to overcome the obstacle, and reassure her of all the doubts she was having about her abilities, and herself. Hotohori would take the time and effort to comfort her like no one else will. And Tamahome...Tamahome would tell her that he would love her unconditionally, whether she succeeded or not, he would still lover her - no matter what.
And with these thoughts in mind, Miaka studied, read, and spent more time on her books than she had ever did. It was an amazing change to those around her. None of her friends, save Yui, could understand why Miaka was suddenly turning down outings and insisting on staying indoors to study. Even her parents were shocked.
It therefore did not come as too big of a surprise when the forms returned; stating clearly had Miaka, had, in actuality, passed with points to spare. She was graciously accepted into Jonan, along with Yui, who passed with a higher mark (of course) than she. The year rolled by, and Miaka swung into her first year at Jonan. The campus was huge, larger than her old school by a great deal, with a larger lunchroom and a larger menu at the cafeteria (much to Miaka's delight). She and Yui were one of the few students who had made it to Jonan. Because of that, Miaka's other friends were all going to another, less-famed high school, which, thankfully, was still near enough that they could visit without too much trouble.
Work was never so stressing, and exams were almost a constant now. Miaka was beginning to get worn down by the nag of work. And as if the temptation of relaxation wasn't enough, some senior boys were suddenly taking an interesting in her and Yui. Mostly Yui though, because she had grown her hair long again without noticing (what with studying for exams and all) and they were starting to ask her out (much to her annoyance). Miaka was determined to stay faithful to Tamahome even though her brother had long explained to her that she wouldn't be seeing him again till her death. Which was fine with her in the long run - so long as she did see him again, this also solved the whole problem with boyfriends and dating.
School was wiping almost all available time from her schedule. Miaka was getting plumper without noticing because of her lack in movement. She also sported dark lines under her eyes and tired limbs in addition. She had almost no time to spend even with Yui, and with all that was happening, she had momentarily put thoughts of her seishi and Tamahome out of her mind.
Of course, it came as a complete and absolute shock one spring day when Keisuke and Tetsuya came dashing up to them after school. Both were looking breathless, their faces flushed in the cool spring air, and their eyes dancing. (Of course, you really couldn't see Tetsuya's eyes, but that's beside the point.)
"Miaka, come on! We've got someone you'll want to meet!" Keisuke grabbed hold of Miaka's scarf and tugged her down the road. Miaka allowed herself to be pulled, confusion on her face.
"Eh? But I've got this really big history exam coming up, and I have to study for it, or mom is going to lower my lunch allowance!" She protested feebly. She knew that once her brother was dead set on something, he was dead set, and there was no turning him back. Behind them, Tetsuya was urging Yui along, despite her protests of having to review for a biology test.
"I'm totally serious, Miaka! You've got to meet him."
Miaka only half-listened as her brother went on with how he had met him in high school. "You won't believe it...Tetsuya and I saw him in the library just last week, and he was too busy with a another exam to see you till today...he's a really cool guy, even Tetsuya says so too!"
Miaka, meanwhile, was wistfully thinking of her depleted lunch money if she didn't get to studying fast. She only just came to long enough to hear what Keisuke was babbling about next.
"He says that he has dreams of being reincarnated...and that he had a soul mate in his last life, that she was a pretty, wonderful girl who he was born to protect and be with. He says that even if he had to search a thousand years, he'd find her again..."
Miaka wasn't listening anymore, this time for a whole different reason. They had stopped under a grove of cherry trees, where a tall figure was walking out to greet them. Miaka's breath caught in her throat.
For months after returning from the book world, she had mistaken almost every male of the same height and color as Tamahome. Now though... There was almost no denying it. Unless her love-blinded mind was playing cruel tricks on her again... Behind her, Yui brought a stunned hand to her mouth. She knew Tamahome well, and this senior in front of them could've passed for his twin. His clone.
Miaka didn't believe her eyes. It wasn't true. It couldn't be... There are probably hundreds of people who looked like Tamahome. This was probably just a joke on Keisuke's part...to taunt her of her lost of her true love. Her only love...
The man stepped forward. There was a delicate, confused expression on his face. So like Tamahome, Miaka couldn't help comparing. He had the same, soft eyes, though this one did not twinkle and flash like Tamahome's. His expression was almost the same - caring, forever dedicated to one thing and one thing only.
Keisuke was looking from his friend to his sister. Miaka was sheet-white. Her hand came up to her mouth. Her eyes trembled, and a slow tear was coursing its way down her cheek. She was crying.
"Miaka?"
"You. You're the one I'm looking for," the man's face became one of relief, of accomplishment. "I used to have dreams...of a girl that I had loved. I vowed that even if it took me a thousand years, that I would find her... And now I have..."
Her head was screaming and spinning madly. The vision in front of her suddenly seemed suspiciously like a TV screen. Like everything that was happening was detached, devoid from herself. And yet... and yet...
Slowly, almost hesitantly, he held up his left hand. On his fourth finger was a single, small ring with an obscure, rose-colored gem on it. The same one... The same one... Miaka wanted to grab him and throttle him. Where did he get that?! Where had he stolen it...or bought it...or... Slowly, she looked at her own hand. A matching ring with the corresponding gem on it. The same one... The same one she had given Tamahome before he had left her...
"Tama...home?" Miaka's voice was not quite working. Tears were brimming. She was trying crying now. Yui was still shell-shocked.
"Mi...Miaka. That's it. Your name, isn't it?" He sounded excited. Miaka couldn't help it anymore. Here was a person who looked exactly like her Tamahome...who's voice sounded exactly like his, whose actions were so painfully familiar...
He took a few more steps forward, and Miaka simply collapsed into his embrace. Yui was crying by now, and she was barely aware of it. Tetsuya's expression was stone still, as always. Keisuke was almost sagging with the enormity of what had just happened.
"I told you that I'd see you again...Miaka."
~~
Twelve years later......
Miaka was crying again. Taka came up the stairs slowly. He hadn't seen his wife all morning, but he knew that she was crying. He always knew when she was crying. Padding up the carpeted steps slowly, he entered their bedroom, and spied her sitting on their double bed, staring at something in her hand and rocking back and forth.
"Honey?" He was watching her with concern. It hadn't come this bad for years. Miaka was clutching whatever was in her hand and staring into nothing, seeming dazed. Taka plucked the photograph from her hand and recognized it instantly. It was taken in the Shi Jin Te Chi Sho - a photograph of the whole gang, (all eight of them) in front of the ship they were taking to Hokkan.
"Miaka?" Taka sat down beside her. "Are you feeling well?"
"Oh, I miss them," Miaka whispered, burying her face into her husband's. 'Missed them'...how trivial that sounded, compared to the agony in her head. The throbbing pain - it wouldn't go away. Taka took the photograph, tears starting in his eyes. They were all so happy then. This was before Nuriko's untimely death...before Chiriko's...and Mitsukake's...and Hotohori's. They had all died for Miaka.
"I miss them so much...it hurts. I never imagined it could hurt like this." Miaka gave Taka a rueful smile hesitantly. "The only thing that ever came close was when I thought I had lost you."
"We all miss them," Taka replied amiably, slipping a supportive arm around his wife.
"What I wouldn't give to see them again...what I wouldn't give..." Miaka smiled through her tears.
"That time, when were drawn back to fight Tenkou, when we saw them again, for so fleeting a time, it wasn't enough."
Miaka placed he photo down with loving care and surveyed the many others that she had. Tasuki, grinning as he reached for his tessen. Hotohori and Nuriko, both framed against the palace in royal robes. Chichiri, fishing in his usual cape and kasa. Such wonderful memories...
"They'll be in our hearts forever, my love."
"I know...still, I miss them, and I will until eternity."
At that moment, the doorbell rang, signaling Yui's arrival. Even though it had been years since they had each married and finished school, they still kept such close touch, that they visited each other weekly to chat and brush up on things. Taka went downstairs to open the door. A minute later, Yui's face appeared at the door.
"Oh! Oh, Miaka! Miaka! What's wrong? You're pale!" Yui rushed over to comfort her long-time friend. Miaka was clutching her tissue, sniffing.
"She misses her seishi. Terribly." Taka answered for her. Yui lowered her eyes and sat down on the other side of her friend. They had been friends since kindergarten...and had been until now. (This not counting their time of enmity in the book world.)
Slowly, Yui glanced down and saw that the half-open drawer that Miaka usually kept locked was half open, photographs scattered every which way.
"Tell me Yui. Do you ever miss your seishi?" Miaka said, facing her friend, and drying her eyes. Yui was deep in thought. She knew that she had never had nearly as close a relationship with her seishi as Miaka did.
"I don't know. I know that I was never as close to them as you were. To me, they were just people who served and protected me. I didn't even collect them myself -Nakago...Nakago did that for me. To you, they were friends, weren't they?"
Miaka shook her head. "No Yui. To me...they were my whole world. They were my family in Konan, people I could run to when I was scared, a shelter of warm refuge when I was worried, people who could cheer me up with a smile, comfort me when I was down, give a quick joke to make me laugh. We were joined by a common bond, even though we had nothing in common."
Tears were coming down Miaka's cheeks again. It pained her to remember. Taka sighed. "Don't cry. We had happy times together, didn't we?"
Miaka stopped sobbing long enough to contemplate. "Of course." She said softly, reaching for yet another photo.
"The star gazing festival. The one Tasuki, Nuriko and I went to just after the ceremony failure. I remember it so well... We had fun there. The most fun I had had with Nuriko before...before..." Miaka choked on her words, but forced them out. They sounded flat and dead. "Before he died."
Yui's breath caught. Miaka was speaking in an amazingly clear voice, listing all the wonderful things that she did with her seishi. Stargazing festivals, adventures through Konan, taverns and countryside, mountains and oceans. All the things that her seishi would never have done for her. It was amazing, and to think...
"The doom of the mikos..." Yui shook her head. To this day, she still blamed herself for Miaka's grief in the Shijintenchisho. "After the book...none of them will ever be the same again. The experience in the book...experiences of life, death, bonds closer than family, the power of the gods...it would change them forever."
"I know." Miaka replied simply. "But I would've rather have met them, and then suffer for a thousand years, than to have never met them at all."
It made Yui drift to her own thoughts. Miaka and her had been best friends for so long, yet she couldn't help feeling the slightest pains of envy. She would rather had met then and suffered, than to have never met them at all... Yui knew that she wasn't missing her seishi because she never knew then as Miaka did, yet that condition seemed worse compared to Miaka's now. And it had been her own fault. Her own fault, for so blindly trusting Nakago, for betraying Miaka's trust, for all the suffering she had caused her friend. If she could have one wish, it would be that she never had accepted to being Seiryuu no Miko. Miaka should not suffer for her mistakes.
"Miaka, did your seishi love you?" Yui wondered. She knew her seishi would never lover her. Save perhaps Suboshi, the little fool.
"Yes, we did." The answer came from Taka. "Nuriko, Hotohori, and I never realized what a profound impact she had had on our lies until she left for three months. In that time..."
"In fact, by the near end of our adventures, we each were so close to her that we loved her unconditionally. Even if Suzaku had denounced her as miko, and she had become an ordinary girl again, we still would have protected her. With our lives. Every one of us." Taka shook his head a little, as if disbelieving his own sincerity.
Yui sighed, not quite understanding how anyone could be that close. She had been a fool to think that Nakago had loved her. She knew now that he would have discarded her like he had discarded everyone else the moment she became an ordinary girl again.
Miaka sighed. "They'd be dead now, I know. It's been over ten years here, and the time difference makes their world age much faster than ours."
"Honey, you know we'll see them again - in heaven. And Suzaku willing, we might live again, together.":
Miaka stood, shutting the photos back into the drawer lovingly. It wouldn't do if the children saw such photos. They would ask questions, and the truth might frighten them. Miaka sincerely did not want to, but what had to be done, had to be done.
Outside, in the garden, Toriko and Niaru were playing chase, one of them was waving a pretend sword while the other hid. Both were screaming in delight. Such innocence, Miaka thought. She only wanted her children to be happy, and safe.
Keisuke had once asked her if she thought it odd that only Tamahome had been reborn into their world. Miaka was ecstatic about the idea of Nuriko, Tasuki, and the others being reborn also.
"Miaka, they...might not remember you. Perhaps, if you expect that, it won't be too bad a shock."
"They might not have," Miaka defended herself. "Suzaku merciful, they might not have forgotten me, and if they'd been reborn, I'll find them - if they've been reborn."
Her brother had promised to help if anything had turned up. Miaka had not given up hope. She was still looking, checking the faces of the people she met for familiar features, talking to many strangers to see if they knew of a past life, or a reincarnation.
"I'll find them," Miaka told herself. "Even if it takes an eternity, I'll find them." Who's to say they have forgotten her? What if they were looking for her too, like Taka had been doing? If they had lost their memories, Miaka was assured by the fact that there was still hope. It would be taxing to go through the whole memory globe process again, but for her seishi, it would be worth it. Her seishi, who have done so much for her... protected her, comforted her in times of need, was a friend when she was lonely, offered to her the world, and four of whom died serving her in the end.
None of her seishi had known it - not even Tamahome - but deep in her heart, Miaka had mentally recorded each and every time her seishi had helped her. Every time she was transported through Chichiri's kasa, every time Nuriko punched through a wall, every time Hotohori drew his sword, Miaka had embedded it into her meager memory, and the fact that she had done nothing to repay them had made her feel almost empty.
I'll find them again, Miaka told herself. I will...I swear by Suzaku. Hotohori, Nuriko, Tasuki, Chichiri, Mitsukake, and Chiriko...we'll meet again, ne? On wings of heaven, we'll live for eternity. My brother stars... We'll meet again...
~~The Beginning~~