The toys belong to J.K. Rowling and Notwolf, and I am grateful to be able to play with them. I hope you will like what you read!
It is canon- and Notwolf compliant, situated immediately after The Voldemort Diaries—Chapter 72 (There and Back Again)
He was feeling awkward standing in front of a wand shop with a trowel in hand. Salem was a cold, gloomy place as a storm was brewing. Surius pushed the door and entered the cozy premises.
The woman was looking very much like Aline and the visitor politely said "Good afternoon, Mrs. Conn!"
"Mr. Black, it is a pleasure to meet you!" She extended a hand in greeting, touched Sirius's palm and shuddered. "You almost died!"
He laughed. "This is a very polite understatement Mrs. Conn. I did die. But it is fine. I am not a zombie, as you see. My brother swore me to bring you this trowel which belongs to Neville Longbottom. I presume you know where his parents are. The Longbottoms are my close friends and I will be glad to meet them while you search for their son."
"I am sorry Mr. Black, I really do not know where your friends are at the moment. But rest assured, the people they are with have their best interest at heart. Unfortunately the treatment is not going as fast as planned." Abigail sighed. It was not going at all. Franc and Alice were able to talk and perform basic functions but their memory drawers were completely empty. Yet Abigail could sense that somewhere there a hidden drawer existed. It was necessary to find the key for it. Finding Neville would be a good beginning also.
The witch pointed at the trowel. Unsure what was the etiquette of handing a trowel Sirius put it on the display cabinet. Abigail touched the handle and screamed.
"Did you hurt yourself?" Sirius was concerned.
"Sure it is Neville's?" The witch was panting.
"My brother said do. He should know for sure!"
"The owner of this thing is being eaten alive right this moment! There is a jungle around him! " Abigail was pressing a hand to her mouth.
"Fast! Charm this as a portkey to there, will you!" Sirius pulled his wand ready.
"It is a deadly place there, it is full of skeletons." Abigail was looking at the wand pointing at her.
"Damn it, woman, do as I asked! I have been to a place full of dead people! Get me as close to Neville as you can!" Sirius put the wand on the cabinet to not scare the last remaining witch's wits and shower her his hands in what he presumed was an universal gesture of assurance.
Abigail was seeing red flames and was trying to stifle the instinct to retch. But she charmed the trowel as quick as she can. "You can go now!" had hardly sounded when Sirius grabbed the handle and disappeared.
As close to Neville was not a pleasant sight for sure. Sirius landed on a small plateau in a stifling hot place. He was at the feet of what was probably Neville but he could not be sure as the body up to the chest was already swallowed by a humongous snake. It was questionable who was more startled – Sirius or the monster, but both reacted the same way – they vomited! Then the gloriously green beast retracted with remarkable speed for its size. On the road it flattened what was probably one of its offspring.
Only then Sirius remembered that his wand had remained at the wand shop. He had the portkey though and the body in front of him was indeed Neville. But his condition was really bad. He was covered in slime, vomit and under it something that looked suspiciously like ketchup. His hands and legs were tied with what Sirius recognized as shoe laces. The young man was adorned with some greenery as well if you count garlands of garlic and onions as decoration. All that was missing was the serving plate!
Neville groaned. Sirius quickly untied the laces and dragged the semiconscious man to the nearby waterfall. The cold water put some life in the glassy eyes and washed away most of the condiments. But Neville still could not stand upright on his own. All he was dressed in was a kind of a skirt made of leaves that Sirius was absolutely sure were edible. There was no wand visible on him. So much about the luck.
The sun was bright and Neville squinted. "Too much wine!" he mumbled.
Sirius groaned. "Neville, we have to apparetre. Do you have a wand?"
"In the small snake." He laughed. "They made kebab of rats for the small snake. Took my wand. Small snake liked it!" Again the mad laugh. Probably it had not been only wine, Sirius thought. But the speed with which Neville was getting back his senses was encouraging. Sirius dragged his friend under the cold waterfall again. Both were drenched anyway.
"I feel like a kelpie with a mighty hangover!" Neville was trying not to shake his head unnecessarily. "At first I thought you are a hallucination!"
"I wish I were. You know, you may be keen on meeting your green pal again, but I have crossed the world today and would rather see Kreatcher than the green worm. And your pals from the tribe may also come pay a visit to see whether it liked the menu. "
"No, the tribe will stay away for another day. It takes two days for the entire digestion cycle. I still will be glad to get my wand back. I know it is a trademark for me to break them but it is costly. Do you have a knife?"
"I was not prepared for a rescue mission, sorry. But we still have the trowel… "
"It is the portkey! Unless you want the snake to get to Salem and we to stay here for a while. It is rather interesting but I think it is time for some English tea."
"Do you have any luggage?" Sirius looked at the grasses-and-leaves skirt.
"No", Neville laughed and rubbed his temples. "I flooed everything home yesterday and was about to jump into the heart myself when someone wacked me. Then there was a feast, they fed me like a king, made me drink a bucket of something and sort of promised to introduce me to the snake. They sort of kept the promise."
Suddenly Sirus clapped a hand over Neville's mouth. He strained his ears. "Damn, you people have no sense of timing. They are coming right now."
"My wand!" cursed Neville. He ran, grabbed the flattered snake and hurried to the portkey where Sirius was standing.
A very surprised High Priest and several secondary priests emerged at the small plateau only to see two people vanishing in the thin air. The surprise of the group increased tenfold when they realized that they were in a coil of a very big and very furious hungry snake. The surprise was short lived as the snake decided that live food was nice but treacherous, may cause indigestion. It squeezed briefly.
Abigail Conn was trying to keep her balance. She was really glad the shop had no customers when Sirius and Neville emerged. The younger of the wet pair beamed at her. "Thank you Mrs. Conn for sending Mr. Black on time. You both saved my life!"
He was so adorable with his grass skirt, legs up to his knees in black mud, a trowel in his hand and his British gentleman manners. Abigail understood why Aline and her husband had gone to such length to try helping Neville's parents. The kid was worth it.
"Pleasure is all mine. Would you like to have a cup of tea gentlemen?" she said.