Chapter 1: If Only It Weren't So Hard…

Author's Note: Oh, um, hey there…I see you've stumbled upon my first-ever fanfic. I've really always sorta wanted to write fanfiction ever since I've discovered it, but I never deemed myself good enough to write one. Though I just said to myself, "You'll never know unless you try, right?" and then I ended up here. Just so you know, they are all canon aged. Well, hope you enjoy!

Pairing – Kyle X Cartman

CARTMAN'S POV

I hate school days.

I hate everything about them; I always have to wake up super early, go to school, and I have to survive a full day around him.

And who is he, you ask? He is someone I've known for six years, since Pre-School. He has been my worst enemy since we met. He is someone who's been on my mind since forever.

He is Kyle Broflovski, who is everything I hate. Yet I love him. Why, God? Out of all people, why did you have to make me gay for Kyle?! Ugh, this is total mind fuck.

Kyle has stupid red hair that's so stupidly poofy he has to cover it with that stupid green hat of his, not to mention he's a stupid Jew, and he's so smart that it makes him stupid.

Ugh, who am I kidding? He's just so adorable, with those adorable green eyes of his, and his adorable voice, and his adorable fucking everything!

I grumpily made my way to the bus stop. Waking up early after a restless night of staring at a picture of him makes me totally pissed.

"Hey fatass." Kyle greeted me, without doing so much as looking my way. "Don't call me fat, you stupid Jew!" I grumbled, trying to sound angry but failing miserably.

He turned to look at my sleepy self, noticing how freaking tired I sounded. "Jesus dude, have you been up all night?" he asked.

I didn't answer, just stood beside him, waiting for those two faggots Stan and Kenny to show up. Kyle, figuring that I didn't want to reply, just rolled his eyes and looked away from me again.

Stan and Kenny finally showed up, just in time for the bus to arrive. "Took you fags long enough." I murmured, just loud enough for them to hear.

"Mph mph, mphmph." Kenny growled, flipping me off before boarding the bus alongside Stan. I scoffed and walked in after them without another word.

Nobody sat down next to me when I chose an empty seat by the window, of course. Nobody liked me at all. But…but who needed any of those retards anyway? I'm fine on my own.

My heart rate began to speed up when Kyle plopped down next to me, only the slightest hint of nervousness on his face. Was something wrong with him?

Luckily, I was able to keep my face from burning up for staring at him for more than five seconds. That's one of the advantages of being sneaky and manipulative.

He suddenly turned to look at me, our gazes meeting. We kept it like that for a few moments, before looking away awkwardly. Oh God, I'm pretty sure my blush is visible now.

The rest of the bus ride was spent like that. All that was clear to me was that it was just me and Kyle there, sitting side-by-side…it took everything I had not to try holding his hand.

After what took way too long, the bus finally arrived at South Park Elementary. I rushed out of the bus as fast as I could without looking suspicious at the same time.

"Okay, class, instead of our usual lessons, I've been given instructions by Principal Victoria to do some boring math instead." Mr. Garrison began as soon as everyone was seated.

"Aaaawww!" the class groaned. "Fucking weak!" I added. Mr. Garrison sighed with exasperation; "I know its fucking lame, but I'm just doing my job so shut up!"

I didn't pay attention to anything that asshole was talking about. Math is stupid anyway, and besides, that's why we have calculators!

My gaze fell on Kyle on its own accord. He was absorbing every single word Mr. Garrison said like the total suck-up he is. Goddamn Jew.

He looked so tempting, like a plump mouse in the sight of a hungry cat. But I knew I would never be able to have him even if I tried my hardest.

Though it only made me want him more and more every day. Just knowing he was out of reach made me want to try harder to grab for him. I sighed, love is so screwed up.

Like, seriously God, what do I get out of all this? Oh right, nothing. Maybe you should at least get Kyle to like me back before you decide to FUCK ME!

…Aaaaaand that concludes the first chapter. Hope you liked it, if you did make sure to leave a review and a favorite. I sure would appreciate it if you could suggest ways on how to better my writing skills for you guys! :)

Much love,

FujoshiGirl789