I was dead. Funny how that sounds when you say it... Dead. Of all the things I've ever imagined, I had never imagined being dead. I wasn't dying, I was dead. Hovering here, I can see my bloodied, broken, horribly mangled body under me. On my side were four bloody holes big enough to push sake cups through. Ashitare's handiwork, of course. Wounds that had stopped hurting eons ago. I had been alive, just a few minutes earlier, but it seemed like an eternity to me.
Crimson blood was still flowing out of me like a river. Like a bubble inside me had burst open, and everything in it was pouring out onto the crystalline snow - staining it pink and scarlet. If that creature had ripped any further, my innards would have shown. Imagine that - beautiful, cool, calm, collected Nuriko with his entrails in plain sight for the world to see. Had it hurt? Oh yes... it hurt, more than anything had ever hurt in the world, but that wasn't the real hurt that was assaulting me. My heart was torn, not by Ashitare's claws, but because of the time that had been ripped away from me. The time I could have been spending with Miaka. With my fellow seishi - my brother stars.
I used to see death as a brick wall that lay at the end of the Path of Life. Now I know better. Death is not a brick wall. Rather, it is a black tunnel of darkness that will only be temporary until you come to the end of it again, and start anew on your journey. I could see quite well from my view up here. In fact, I could see, and hear well. And it was not just the voice that I heard; I heard the heart as well - that was what pained me the most.
Nearby lay the still corpse of Ashitare. He was completely ignored, however, when my friends had rushed, screaming towards me minutes ago - when I had been still alive. It had puzzled me at first, when I did not see his spirit rise like mine did. It was later that I discovered that he had three forms: man, wolf-man, and wolf. He had, to my disgust, already 'died' once. This was his second death - and he was about to be reborn from his wounds: into a wolf, of all things!
It was horrible to float and watch my friend's reactions. How I wanted to run down there now and comfort them! How I wanted to enfold my miko in my embrace again...
Tamahome had been practical: he checked my pulse to find it non-existence, and then checked my breathing. Confirming his suspicions, he desperately tried to break it to Miaka gently, even though he was on the verge of uncontrollable tears as well. I could hear his thoughts, could see in abstract colors what he was thinking. Why did you have to be the proud fool that you were? Why, Nuriko?!? TELL ME!!! Now you...you are lost to us. Why did you leave us, Nuriko? I can barely see what our lives will be like now, without you. You were our joy, our mischief, our watchful eye, and caring brother all rolled into one. You were a part of us, Nuriko...why, why, why, why, why?
Miaka was quite hysterical, screaming my name over and over. Then she was in denial, refusing to believe that I was dead. She had run off, hiding behind far-off trees, refusing to look at my body. Oh Miaka, how I long to assure you that I am all right. I really am. Things will work out for you. Taiistkun said so. Trust her, Miaka... She's not what you think she is... She's not what anyone thinks she is...... Trust her, onegai...
Tasuki was also in denial. He was telling me to open my eyes...to sit up and make things right again. Telling me over and over... a command that would not go unheard, but will not go obeyed. Tasuki hadn't needed this... I had loved Tasuki, and I knew that he had loved me in return. The love of brothers... Tasuki was my brother-star after all. I wanted to punch him into a bank of snow again, like I would have if I had by physical body back. Alas I didn't. And then I saw - Tasuki was crying. Crying hard. Tears were pooling down his cheeks. Don't cry Tasuki...not for me. What would I have done if it weren't for you? The two of us...we were the ones that kept the whole group from taking things too serious, ne? Tasuki was weeping, down on his hands and knees the way he had been when we had first begged Mitsukake to heal Miaka from the fatal disease. His whole body had a limp sort of feel to it. Damn you, Nuriko! How COULD you?!?! We had depended on you to get the shinzahoe...not to - to get hurt like this! Why didn't you wait for help? Why didn't you f***ing TELL any of us?
Beside my, staring at my wounds with a kind of transfixed horror, was Chiriko. Oh gods... He didn't need to see this. He could have lived without seeing me like this. And he was only thirteen, poor kid. He was a terrified wreck. I could see him shaking from head to toe. Oh gods, PLEASE let something cover his eyes. Don't let him continue seeing! And as I watched, Mitsukake bent over, and gently drew Chiriko back. The boy was stunned into shock, his eyes wide and unblinking. I whispered a small thank you to the doctor. Chiriko was too young to face this alone.
Nuriko. Why did you have to die? Why? That's all I want to know. Why did fate have to do this? And if it had to be a death, why did it have to be you? I'm not quite sure what you were to me, but you cared. I know the others cared too, but you showed it the best. You were the one who told me not to blame myself for the ceremony's failure. You were the one who assured me that I wouldn't ever be alone again. You took me pleasure swimming, shopping in Konan, stargazing, and you introduced the joys of childhood to me again. I think of you as a mother, a brother, and a friend...
Chichiri had taken his mask off to emphasize the importance of the event and was diligently praying. I'm still not sure why, but it was his prayer that was the clearest dialog of all. It rang with a sweet clarity in my confused, befuddled mind, overriding the thoughts of my other seishi and their words. I think I would have gone crazy from all the words in my head. There was a verbal exchange going on, as well as mental thoughts that bounced every which way, and spiritual prayers for my well being. Atone his sins, and in his next life, let him live in peace, and give him the award that he so deserves for this merit. He had done us much...had been so important to us, so give him his due payment.
I could tell that Chichiri was not any less devastated than the rest of them. He was just hiding it too well. He was trained in dealing with emotions, but I could see under all the falsetto, all the layers of mental masks that he had put on to hide himself. In fact, I could see his eyes opening and closing so slowly that they won't even be categorized as blinks. His hands were also clenching and unclenching with patient slowness. So unlike Tasuki, who was showing raw emotion without hesitation. Tasuki was just that kind of person, and his temperament agreed with me. Like me, Chichiri hid - behind a real mask, of all things, while I had only painted on makeup and placed on layer after layer of false clothes. How well you understood me, Chichiri.
And then...And then I was swept away. Over the flashing hillsides of Kutou... To Konan. My homeland... My birthplace... To the Konan palace... Servants, maids, butlers and officials rushed past me. They didn't see me or hear me. I was invisible and inaudible to everyone. In the court chamber, there he was. His beautiful brown hair locked up in his bucket crown. So beautiful...so beautiful he couldn't be real. Yet I had asked Suzaku. The phoenix deity had made him so pretty for a reason after all. He had fancied a proud young man as one of his seishi, and had poured every last drop of beauty he had to give into him.
Things seemed to happen on a slow, rewind of past events. As I watched, Hotohori, in the middle of one of his speeches, suddenly turned a sickly shade of pale white, then clutched his chest in agony. His heart seemed to have stopped for a few seconds altogether. It I had a heart them, it would have lurched. That doesn't mean that I don't have feelings. It may be that Miaka was the one I loved as a man, but Hotohori had always been my first love - his gentleness, caring personality outshone anything I had ever witnessed in life. Floating to his side, I stroke his hair, begging Suzaku to comfort him. I knew what had happened the moment his heart had stopped. The life had seeped out of my torn body, that's what. He was feeling my pain, feeling utter emptiness in my absence.
Taiistkun had once explained to me in heaven - seishi...seishi joined by their common bond of serving under a miko for their god - they are joined by life force. A perfect circle of ki energy binds us seishi together. Now I was gone - my ki force diminished into nothing...I was only an observing spirit, and because of that, the circle of energy life was broken. All of fellow seishi felt it - but Hotohori seemed to be reacting the most.
Advisors, officials, and subjects were pounding around in confusion. Most of them in disarray, others calling for court physicians. Hotohori, still clutching his chest, keeled right over his throne, hitting the floor with a thump. His bucket crown clattered beside him, sending a waterfall of brown hair over his shoulders. I bent down, my ghost of a body sliding through the floor like glass. I wanted to comfort him - like I wanted to comfort all the others. But he couldn't hear me. Lying on the cold marble floor, I saw Hotohori's right eye inch open. And for a flickering second, I could've sworn that he saw me. Saw me as a spirit. I held his gaze, smiling comfortingly.
Amidst all the confusion of verbal voices and cries and yells, I could 'hear' the Emperor's thoughts in my own head. Swirling in a series of dim, discolored images, I felt his pain.
Nuriko. It's Nuriko. It can't be anyone else. Something has happened to you, hasn't it? Something terrible. And it's irrevocable. I know this already - by the pain in my heart. It is nothing; however, next to the anguish I am feeling. I can't accept that you had died. I don't know that for sure yet, do I? I won't believe that you've die. It's too impossible a notion to comprehend. I am feeling guilt already. Why had I not gone with you? Why? Perhaps, if I had been there, we could have saved you. Chichiri...Tasuki...Chiriko...they must be grieving for you, ne? I can feel their pain - their sadness. Just as I feel mine...
I watched, begging the gods to let me one last word with him. Begging them to let me see him again. To speak with him, and tease him about his crown, and play with his hair again. Would the gods not even exercise their power for this? For me? It was too much to hope for. Never again, Hotohori... Never again will I be able to enjoy life with you. I have left so much behind - it's unjust.
And then... A sweeping of scenery, and I was standing before a heavenly figure, too awesome in sovereignty to describe. Too absolute in grace and beauty to fathom. Taiistkun. In her Creator form. A being too magnificent to understand. How little the others think of her. They believe her to be a nagging hag - the form that she appears to them in. They know nothing about her - but as I have died, so I now see. How she really is. Around her are beautiful goddesses, creatures of her own creation, solemn blue-haired sylphs with their own brand of magic almost akin to the power of the Four Gods.
"Nuriko. Have you seen enough? Are you satisfied?"
"Not...not yet, Taiistkun. I have seen enough...but..."
"You have a desire, do you not? Something that you wish to be fulfilled, and unless it is, you will not rest in peace?"
"That - yes, I suppose. It's...eating me alive with frustration. If only I could have this last wish. This one last wish...?"
"A last wish? It can be arranged." A hint of a smile was playing about the Creator's lips. Her Nyan-Nyans titter and wait patiently. "What is it you desire? Chichiri is right...you have done much - sacrificed yourself for your miko, and you deserve a reward."
"Ah. That I know. My only wish is to see my Kourin again... But before that, I - I want something. If it's not too much to ask."
"Something, perhaps? To see Miaka again? To see your friends again perhaps...?"
"No." I was thinking hard, but I had made up my mind. Taiistkun had just said that I could have my wish. It could be anything. I could still change my wish - I could wish for those things she had mentioned... But no. I couldn't. Because there was something so much more important than my own happiness...
"If - If it's possible at all... I have decided."
"Speak, so it may be granted." A Nyan-Nyan spoke. She was fidgeting.
"I want Hotohori-sama to be happy. He deserves it. He needs it."
"...DONE!..."
I waited, and I was transported back to Konan palace presently. A few days had passed since my death. As I was free to do what I wished, I wandered the corridors, reviving old memories. My years in the Emperor's harem. My years spent with the other women of court - all whom were either too stupid to discover my secret, or too absorbed in themselves to notice. I almost laughed. Had they not noticed that I had never needed chest-bindings, due to the fact that I was already flat? Or that I didn't have that certain 'time-of-the-month' that all females suffered? It was strange to be thinking of that now. Gliding serenely through the locked doors of Hotohori's private chambers, I watched his sleeping form on the bed. He had recovered nicely, but I could tell that his mind was still in constant turmoil. To a certain extent, he was blaming himself for what had happened to me. He knew that there was nothing he could've done, but he would have liked to.
At the moment, he was tossing and turning - probably having another dream about me. His soul was strangely empty - having been filled to the brim before with the life force of his fellow seishi. With the bond broken for now, he was cut off from the others. I took a seat in the air next to him, content with gazing at his form. Slightly parted lips breathing softly. His dark lashes as long as my own. His luxuriously soft hair, falling past his shoulders in a nut-brown curtain.
I wanted to touch him. Could I? Or would my substance-less hand pass through him as it had passed through doors and walls? I tried. It did pass through him, but he obviously felt it, because he calmed down somewhat, and shut his eyes tighter together. And as I stroked his sheets, I heard the opening of a door behind me. I turned, forgetting that I was invisible and intangible. It was a girl - and her resemblance to me was almost uncanny. True - a person who knew even one of us well would have been able to tell from a distance. Her violet hair was parted in the middle, whereas mine was parted on the side. It was long too, but done up in a perfect knot, instead of the bun-and-braid that I wore when I had been serving as a harem maid.
Slowly, she drew a chair next to the Emperor's bed, and sat down to watch. I floated above them, interested. The girl then drew a cool cloth from the folds of her own robe and touched it to Hotohori's head. I sat, cross-legged in the air and simply watched in amusement. What could she be trying to do?
The next few days in the palace passed me in a whirl. I was ghost, and though the time that passed through me was the same as the time that passed though the others, time had barely any meaning left in me by now. True, by Taiistkun's power, I could travel back and forward in the dimension of time so long as I didn't interfere. As if I could, heh. Therefore, I didn't notice the passage of time much, and consequently, it rushed by me in a kaleidoscope of colors and images.
It was a whole five days before Hotohori had fully recovered from the ordeal. His studies, meetings, and court life continued on a fairly normal basis, but there was now someone new in his life - Houki. The young maid in his harem that had sneaked into his private chamber (with a great deal more trouble than me because I was invisible) and tended to him, keeping vigil by his bedside, refusing budge inch. She didn't even eat until the Emperor had gotten well again, and by that time, he had gotten to know her quite well.
Hotohori too, had been surprised with her resemblance to me. But by now, I had realized. This was how Taiistkun was fulfilling my wish. In her own way, she was making sure that a souvenir - an imprinted memory of me, was living within Hotohori - through Houki. She was a very bright lady - the daughter of a Lord living somewhere on the far northern border of Konan. She knew all the arts - cooking, sewing, housekeeping, riding, reading, writing, strategy board games, and three different instruments - even a scattering of martial arts - all the requirements of a proper lady. She was many things I was not - but even our personalities were similar in a way.
Like me, Houki loved making the Emperor laugh. She would spend hours on end creating small, cute gifts that only she would think of - a doll fashioned from colored clay, a waist chain of dried hay rings, even a crown of willow leaves once. That gift left Hotohori weeping in grief for me. You shouldn't cry, heika. I did tell Taiistkun to give you happiness. How is that going to work if you are crying? Houki is there to make you happy, Hotohori. Please understand...
And Houki did make him happy. Besides her gifts, she spent time with him like no one ever had. Cooking his meals for him when he was tired of the chef's daily admission. Playing long games of shogi and warring knights with him when he was bored. Taking on guises of peasants and strolling through the streets of Konan when time permitted. The days following my death would have either been categorized as the saddest time of the Emperor's life, or the happiest.
With Houki's patient company, Hotohori slowly overcame his unfathomable grief for me, and made himself a new life. I did not hate Houki because she was doing everything that I had ever dreamed of doing. I loved her for what she did - she gave Hotohori-sama happiness when he did not have any. In a way, she was his savior from depression, from withdrawal, from self-loathing. I didn't doubt that had Houki not been there, Hotohori would've been a miserable wreck by now. And it was all thanks to Taiistkun that she was there. I owed her so much.
As the weeks passed, I traversed between Konan and Kutou on a daily basis, to check on my friends, and watch Hotohori. On one earlier occasion, I only just got there in time to see Miaka in her bare undies, being frozen into a helpless block of ice by some Genbu seishi. I gave them a 'little' (*ahem*) talking-to, with backup from my dear ole' madam fist. Being spirits themselves, they saw and heard me well enough - but for entertainment more than anything else, (they were rather bored) they went ahead with the procedure anyway. Well, two can play at that game. Controlling my bracelet with my will, which Miaka was wearing at the time, I brought Suzaku's power into play. It promptly broke the encasing ice, to Tamahome and Tasuki's great relief.
And so it was that I waited, and watched. I grieved when Chiriko met his end with the Seiryuu bastard Miboshi. I saw their spirits - both at once - rise from Chiriko's bloodied body. The poor boy, brilliant though he was, was nearly weeping with terror. I was standing over Miboshi's spirit when he rose, and I proceeded to beat the living crap out of him as soon as his spirit was tangible with mine.
It took awhile for Enma (King of the Dead) to sort them out, but once he found that both were sichiseishi, they were immediately granted entrance to heaven by default. Chiriko and I, backed by about two dozen Nyan-Nyans, argued Miboshi's case on innocent murder for close to seven hours straight before he finally relented and sent the cursing spirit into the depths of hell.
There were times for grief, but there were times to rejoice as well. Like Hotohori's and Lady Houki's wedding, for example. I was so happy that I went ahead and told Miaka and the others - forgetting yet again that they couldn't hear or see me. That however, didn't deter me, as I knew that they would see them as soon as they returned.
Hotohori had never looked happier since he found that he had found six new friends in his fellow seishi as well as a miko to love. His officials and advisors were absolutely thrilled by the fact that they would have a new heir soon, and no one was stopping Houki from doing anything that she wanted. Taking advantage of this fact, she immediately demanded to attend all court sessions and important meetings along with the Emperor. A request to which the officials frowned upon, but Hotohori welcomed.
Then it was Miaka's return. Hotohori hadn't forgotten her - nor had she lost the place in his heart that he kept so delicately protected. Houki had not taken her place, but had rather made herself a new place in his being. I could've died again laughing when Miaka realized that this 'me' had breasts. Tamahome and Tasuki were screeching for Chichiri to put me at rest back in my grave. It was hysterical. Throughout it all, Houki kept her head, and when the Emperor finally introduced her, everyone got a shock.
Chiriko joined me in watching them after that - a disappointed seishi who was barely a child, but not even yet a man. That wasn't a problem. I could hardly be called a 'man' (*cough*) myself.
Events flew by after that. I watched as Mitsukake sacrificed himself to save a small child named Shouka, his healing power careening off in every direction as he did. He healed everyone on the battlefield - friend and enemy alike. What fools those soldiers were. They only started fighting again as soon as they regained their strength - making Mitsukake's sacrifice for nothing. I hoped they rot in hell.
Sometime after that, the accursed Seiryuu no Miko wished Miaka back into her world - and by stroke of pure luck, Tamahome (bless his soul) managed to grab her before she disappeared. Chiriko and I were nearly frantic. Taiistkun, however, assured us that the battle would still be won. It was looking like a hopeless situation. Three seishi dead, and one was dying...
Oh, did I forget? As I now think, Hotohori lies dying on the ground before me. Speared through by Nakago's energy. I hope that Seiryuu monstrosity will be damned forever in hell, and beyond. This was not just the 'Emperor' dying - this was also a seishi, a husband, and yes - a father. Houki had been pronounced pregnant not a month before. And Hotohori was leaving them all behind. Chichiri was praying for him. Tasuki and Kouji were in mourning. Bandits they may be, but they followed their own code, and were loyal to the Emperor.
I saw Hotohori's spirit rise. He was still in a daze from Nakago's energy. Now he could see and 'touch' me. Chiriko and Mitsukake were there to greet him, but I was working myself into a fine temper.
How could you? Rushing into battle like that? You know you were rushing into your death, and yet you went ahead with it! How could you do that to me?
Gomen, Nuriko. I...I only wanted to protect my country, and my miko. I...hadn't wished to die...
You do realize what this MEANS? That you are leaving an unborn child behind - a loving wife who is so buried in grief that she will likely never come out? You've wasted the wish that I've made for you. Not entirely, but it could've been more. I wanted you to be happy, heika-sama.
Gomen...I...gomen. It is so good to see you again! I was sick with worry...
Huh. I happen to know. I saw you when you fell right off your throne like a stone. Maddening feeling, isn't it? To feel a person closer than a brother - dying right there in your mind, but not being able to do anything about it.
You don't know the half of it. I...I didn't realize Nuriko. Gomen - gomenasai. I wasn't thinking of Houki just as I was rushing into battle. But I wanted to see her one last time before I died...
You can see her now. Come with me. I'll warn you though, you very much won't like what you see.
Houki was in her chamber, clutching a small Imperial crown (which I still insist looks like a bucket) and staring blankly into space. Her eyes were unfocused, her breath coming in quick chokes, her body as still as stone. I knew the feeling all to well. I had felt the same when Kourin had died. Like some part of me had just vanished one day. I had been beyond grief at that time. I was so buried in it that there was no need for tears. I remembered that I didn't eat for two weeks after the incident - almost starving myself to death before my mother finally force-fed me nutrition.
It was the same as Houki. I could see Hotohori's sharp intake of breath. Houki... Her stomach was still flat, since it had only been a month, but she had one hand on her abdomen, and was prodding it gently. Her face and lips were just about bloodless. We floated on, through walls and into other rooms, where Hotohori stared for some time at his own, lifeless body for some time before composing himself. Chichiri, Tasuki, and Kouji were all crowded around the casket, fervently praying and crying.
It took some time for me to lead him away from the scene. Once back on Mount Taikyoku, he experienced a small spectacle - meeting Taiistkun in form and person - as she should be. She was more enigma than person - keeping secrets, but knowing all.
Things went from downhill to pitless bottom at that point. Miaka almost lost everything dear to her - and Seiryuu no Miko came frighteningly close to being absorbed. Taiistkun alerted all of us - Chiriko, Mitsukake, Hotohori, and I - about Miaka's impending doom, and we were summoned back to earth once more. A Nyan-Nyan transformed temporarily into me, so I could possess her and use a physical body once more. It was nice using my strength again to do what I was born to do: protect my miko. It was wonderful to be able to feel Miaka's hands again, to be able to touch her and embrace her.
At the last minute, Miaka wished for Seiryuu to be sealed - taking Nakago's power away once and for all. Tamahome had the great and envied honor of pushing a fist through his midsection.
I almost missed the finishing touches of events running by in a fervor of excitement, but first, Nakago's spirit had to be dealt with. As a god's celestial warrior, he had all rights to heaven. In the end, Suzaku himself appeared - up close and personal too in his human avatar- to plead on his brother god's behalf. Seiryuu was personally unsealed by Taiistkun, since there were no warriors of his own left anyway, and he was quite icy and touchy about the fact - muttering curses about 'His damned brother, and his brother's damned miko.'
Back on worlds of reality, Miaka and Tamahome had separated, true, but Enma, upon Taiistkun's request, sent Tamahome's dead spirit to be reborn in her world specifically. It was a joyous reunion for them, one that I will never forget. Things rolled smoothly on from there.
Chichiri and Tasuki, the last Suzaku seishi left, wandered their world - Chichiri always being a wanderer, and Tasuki, no longer finding a place with his bandits, accompanied Chichiri on his travels. They traveled together, their bond growing stronger, and they dutifully stopped by Eiyo every year to pay homage to the ruling Empress and the young Emperor-to-be. Boushin, as he was called. And an adorable thing he was. It was a shame that he had to live without his father. Hotohori was certain that he'd grow up as beautiful as himself, if not more.
In heaven, Kourin and I were reunited. One of the many perks of being dead (among others). She knocked me right off my feet, pinned me to the ground, and screamed in my face the first moment she saw me.
"Why why why why WHY did you crossdress, you - you little - ARGH!!! 'Nii-san, you make me so MAD!!! You knew I was dead, and you knew that I'd be in your heart and with you every step of your life, and YET YOU CHOSE TO CROSSDRESS!!! It's UNFORGIVABLE!!!"
Hotohori and Chiriko were both chuckling. Kourin and I had always been alike, and though ghosts did not age, she was in a form of a lovely young woman, long, purple hair down to her waist, indigo eyes sparkling with fury. I had been born with the strength that could lift a dozen times my own weight, and yet Kourin had always been the only person in the world who could knock me down and pin me with ease.
And so I lived in heaven, among friends family. I had lived my life as Nuriko, fulfilling my seishi duties to their fullest. On occasion, we would journey to Miaka's world - to marvel at her wondrous machines and technology, and to check up on Taka (that's his name now) and our dear miko.
It was not until two earth years later that I was called again to perform my duties as a seishi. It was only now that I understood what Tomite and Hikitsu, Tatara and Tokaki, had first said when we met them. Performing duties as a seishi went beyond death, age, and separation. If your miko was in danger, you were obligated to be there to protect her - dead or alive. The whole memory globe process with Taka and the showdown with Majin Tenkou all gave us a chance to be with Miaka again, and we loved it. All the seishi and I.
Taiiskun, for her own reasons, absolutely forbid us to be reincarnated until she gave us permission. I didn't understand why, but no one really understood Taiistkun. It really infuriated me. She had promised that we could be reborn after Tenkou's intercepting power was defeated, after all. But Taiistkun firmly stuck with the fact that she had 'reasons'.
Taka and Miaka have two children now: Toriko and Niaru. Two children, born of a miko and a seishi from two entirely different worlds - the first ever to be born under such circumstances. Children whom Suzaku had blessed with holy fire at birth. I watch them now...leading lives for all the world like any normal human. Heaven knows...they were born to be special...
...And so my story ends here. In happiness and love, I spent my endless days in heaven. Waiting, waiting, and forever waiting in a utopia of happiness. There are many other tales to be told. Like Niaru Sukinami's own journey into our world, for example. She would become a priestess for the Four Gods, beloved of a mysterious pirate... but that's another story, and shall be told another time..........................................
..........................................
~~~~~~Owaari~~~~~
Crimson blood was still flowing out of me like a river. Like a bubble inside me had burst open, and everything in it was pouring out onto the crystalline snow - staining it pink and scarlet. If that creature had ripped any further, my innards would have shown. Imagine that - beautiful, cool, calm, collected Nuriko with his entrails in plain sight for the world to see. Had it hurt? Oh yes... it hurt, more than anything had ever hurt in the world, but that wasn't the real hurt that was assaulting me. My heart was torn, not by Ashitare's claws, but because of the time that had been ripped away from me. The time I could have been spending with Miaka. With my fellow seishi - my brother stars.
I used to see death as a brick wall that lay at the end of the Path of Life. Now I know better. Death is not a brick wall. Rather, it is a black tunnel of darkness that will only be temporary until you come to the end of it again, and start anew on your journey. I could see quite well from my view up here. In fact, I could see, and hear well. And it was not just the voice that I heard; I heard the heart as well - that was what pained me the most.
Nearby lay the still corpse of Ashitare. He was completely ignored, however, when my friends had rushed, screaming towards me minutes ago - when I had been still alive. It had puzzled me at first, when I did not see his spirit rise like mine did. It was later that I discovered that he had three forms: man, wolf-man, and wolf. He had, to my disgust, already 'died' once. This was his second death - and he was about to be reborn from his wounds: into a wolf, of all things!
It was horrible to float and watch my friend's reactions. How I wanted to run down there now and comfort them! How I wanted to enfold my miko in my embrace again...
Tamahome had been practical: he checked my pulse to find it non-existence, and then checked my breathing. Confirming his suspicions, he desperately tried to break it to Miaka gently, even though he was on the verge of uncontrollable tears as well. I could hear his thoughts, could see in abstract colors what he was thinking. Why did you have to be the proud fool that you were? Why, Nuriko?!? TELL ME!!! Now you...you are lost to us. Why did you leave us, Nuriko? I can barely see what our lives will be like now, without you. You were our joy, our mischief, our watchful eye, and caring brother all rolled into one. You were a part of us, Nuriko...why, why, why, why, why?
Miaka was quite hysterical, screaming my name over and over. Then she was in denial, refusing to believe that I was dead. She had run off, hiding behind far-off trees, refusing to look at my body. Oh Miaka, how I long to assure you that I am all right. I really am. Things will work out for you. Taiistkun said so. Trust her, Miaka... She's not what you think she is... She's not what anyone thinks she is...... Trust her, onegai...
Tasuki was also in denial. He was telling me to open my eyes...to sit up and make things right again. Telling me over and over... a command that would not go unheard, but will not go obeyed. Tasuki hadn't needed this... I had loved Tasuki, and I knew that he had loved me in return. The love of brothers... Tasuki was my brother-star after all. I wanted to punch him into a bank of snow again, like I would have if I had by physical body back. Alas I didn't. And then I saw - Tasuki was crying. Crying hard. Tears were pooling down his cheeks. Don't cry Tasuki...not for me. What would I have done if it weren't for you? The two of us...we were the ones that kept the whole group from taking things too serious, ne? Tasuki was weeping, down on his hands and knees the way he had been when we had first begged Mitsukake to heal Miaka from the fatal disease. His whole body had a limp sort of feel to it. Damn you, Nuriko! How COULD you?!?! We had depended on you to get the shinzahoe...not to - to get hurt like this! Why didn't you wait for help? Why didn't you f***ing TELL any of us?
Beside my, staring at my wounds with a kind of transfixed horror, was Chiriko. Oh gods... He didn't need to see this. He could have lived without seeing me like this. And he was only thirteen, poor kid. He was a terrified wreck. I could see him shaking from head to toe. Oh gods, PLEASE let something cover his eyes. Don't let him continue seeing! And as I watched, Mitsukake bent over, and gently drew Chiriko back. The boy was stunned into shock, his eyes wide and unblinking. I whispered a small thank you to the doctor. Chiriko was too young to face this alone.
Nuriko. Why did you have to die? Why? That's all I want to know. Why did fate have to do this? And if it had to be a death, why did it have to be you? I'm not quite sure what you were to me, but you cared. I know the others cared too, but you showed it the best. You were the one who told me not to blame myself for the ceremony's failure. You were the one who assured me that I wouldn't ever be alone again. You took me pleasure swimming, shopping in Konan, stargazing, and you introduced the joys of childhood to me again. I think of you as a mother, a brother, and a friend...
Chichiri had taken his mask off to emphasize the importance of the event and was diligently praying. I'm still not sure why, but it was his prayer that was the clearest dialog of all. It rang with a sweet clarity in my confused, befuddled mind, overriding the thoughts of my other seishi and their words. I think I would have gone crazy from all the words in my head. There was a verbal exchange going on, as well as mental thoughts that bounced every which way, and spiritual prayers for my well being. Atone his sins, and in his next life, let him live in peace, and give him the award that he so deserves for this merit. He had done us much...had been so important to us, so give him his due payment.
I could tell that Chichiri was not any less devastated than the rest of them. He was just hiding it too well. He was trained in dealing with emotions, but I could see under all the falsetto, all the layers of mental masks that he had put on to hide himself. In fact, I could see his eyes opening and closing so slowly that they won't even be categorized as blinks. His hands were also clenching and unclenching with patient slowness. So unlike Tasuki, who was showing raw emotion without hesitation. Tasuki was just that kind of person, and his temperament agreed with me. Like me, Chichiri hid - behind a real mask, of all things, while I had only painted on makeup and placed on layer after layer of false clothes. How well you understood me, Chichiri.
And then...And then I was swept away. Over the flashing hillsides of Kutou... To Konan. My homeland... My birthplace... To the Konan palace... Servants, maids, butlers and officials rushed past me. They didn't see me or hear me. I was invisible and inaudible to everyone. In the court chamber, there he was. His beautiful brown hair locked up in his bucket crown. So beautiful...so beautiful he couldn't be real. Yet I had asked Suzaku. The phoenix deity had made him so pretty for a reason after all. He had fancied a proud young man as one of his seishi, and had poured every last drop of beauty he had to give into him.
Things seemed to happen on a slow, rewind of past events. As I watched, Hotohori, in the middle of one of his speeches, suddenly turned a sickly shade of pale white, then clutched his chest in agony. His heart seemed to have stopped for a few seconds altogether. It I had a heart them, it would have lurched. That doesn't mean that I don't have feelings. It may be that Miaka was the one I loved as a man, but Hotohori had always been my first love - his gentleness, caring personality outshone anything I had ever witnessed in life. Floating to his side, I stroke his hair, begging Suzaku to comfort him. I knew what had happened the moment his heart had stopped. The life had seeped out of my torn body, that's what. He was feeling my pain, feeling utter emptiness in my absence.
Taiistkun had once explained to me in heaven - seishi...seishi joined by their common bond of serving under a miko for their god - they are joined by life force. A perfect circle of ki energy binds us seishi together. Now I was gone - my ki force diminished into nothing...I was only an observing spirit, and because of that, the circle of energy life was broken. All of fellow seishi felt it - but Hotohori seemed to be reacting the most.
Advisors, officials, and subjects were pounding around in confusion. Most of them in disarray, others calling for court physicians. Hotohori, still clutching his chest, keeled right over his throne, hitting the floor with a thump. His bucket crown clattered beside him, sending a waterfall of brown hair over his shoulders. I bent down, my ghost of a body sliding through the floor like glass. I wanted to comfort him - like I wanted to comfort all the others. But he couldn't hear me. Lying on the cold marble floor, I saw Hotohori's right eye inch open. And for a flickering second, I could've sworn that he saw me. Saw me as a spirit. I held his gaze, smiling comfortingly.
Amidst all the confusion of verbal voices and cries and yells, I could 'hear' the Emperor's thoughts in my own head. Swirling in a series of dim, discolored images, I felt his pain.
Nuriko. It's Nuriko. It can't be anyone else. Something has happened to you, hasn't it? Something terrible. And it's irrevocable. I know this already - by the pain in my heart. It is nothing; however, next to the anguish I am feeling. I can't accept that you had died. I don't know that for sure yet, do I? I won't believe that you've die. It's too impossible a notion to comprehend. I am feeling guilt already. Why had I not gone with you? Why? Perhaps, if I had been there, we could have saved you. Chichiri...Tasuki...Chiriko...they must be grieving for you, ne? I can feel their pain - their sadness. Just as I feel mine...
I watched, begging the gods to let me one last word with him. Begging them to let me see him again. To speak with him, and tease him about his crown, and play with his hair again. Would the gods not even exercise their power for this? For me? It was too much to hope for. Never again, Hotohori... Never again will I be able to enjoy life with you. I have left so much behind - it's unjust.
And then... A sweeping of scenery, and I was standing before a heavenly figure, too awesome in sovereignty to describe. Too absolute in grace and beauty to fathom. Taiistkun. In her Creator form. A being too magnificent to understand. How little the others think of her. They believe her to be a nagging hag - the form that she appears to them in. They know nothing about her - but as I have died, so I now see. How she really is. Around her are beautiful goddesses, creatures of her own creation, solemn blue-haired sylphs with their own brand of magic almost akin to the power of the Four Gods.
"Nuriko. Have you seen enough? Are you satisfied?"
"Not...not yet, Taiistkun. I have seen enough...but..."
"You have a desire, do you not? Something that you wish to be fulfilled, and unless it is, you will not rest in peace?"
"That - yes, I suppose. It's...eating me alive with frustration. If only I could have this last wish. This one last wish...?"
"A last wish? It can be arranged." A hint of a smile was playing about the Creator's lips. Her Nyan-Nyans titter and wait patiently. "What is it you desire? Chichiri is right...you have done much - sacrificed yourself for your miko, and you deserve a reward."
"Ah. That I know. My only wish is to see my Kourin again... But before that, I - I want something. If it's not too much to ask."
"Something, perhaps? To see Miaka again? To see your friends again perhaps...?"
"No." I was thinking hard, but I had made up my mind. Taiistkun had just said that I could have my wish. It could be anything. I could still change my wish - I could wish for those things she had mentioned... But no. I couldn't. Because there was something so much more important than my own happiness...
"If - If it's possible at all... I have decided."
"Speak, so it may be granted." A Nyan-Nyan spoke. She was fidgeting.
"I want Hotohori-sama to be happy. He deserves it. He needs it."
"...DONE!..."
I waited, and I was transported back to Konan palace presently. A few days had passed since my death. As I was free to do what I wished, I wandered the corridors, reviving old memories. My years in the Emperor's harem. My years spent with the other women of court - all whom were either too stupid to discover my secret, or too absorbed in themselves to notice. I almost laughed. Had they not noticed that I had never needed chest-bindings, due to the fact that I was already flat? Or that I didn't have that certain 'time-of-the-month' that all females suffered? It was strange to be thinking of that now. Gliding serenely through the locked doors of Hotohori's private chambers, I watched his sleeping form on the bed. He had recovered nicely, but I could tell that his mind was still in constant turmoil. To a certain extent, he was blaming himself for what had happened to me. He knew that there was nothing he could've done, but he would have liked to.
At the moment, he was tossing and turning - probably having another dream about me. His soul was strangely empty - having been filled to the brim before with the life force of his fellow seishi. With the bond broken for now, he was cut off from the others. I took a seat in the air next to him, content with gazing at his form. Slightly parted lips breathing softly. His dark lashes as long as my own. His luxuriously soft hair, falling past his shoulders in a nut-brown curtain.
I wanted to touch him. Could I? Or would my substance-less hand pass through him as it had passed through doors and walls? I tried. It did pass through him, but he obviously felt it, because he calmed down somewhat, and shut his eyes tighter together. And as I stroked his sheets, I heard the opening of a door behind me. I turned, forgetting that I was invisible and intangible. It was a girl - and her resemblance to me was almost uncanny. True - a person who knew even one of us well would have been able to tell from a distance. Her violet hair was parted in the middle, whereas mine was parted on the side. It was long too, but done up in a perfect knot, instead of the bun-and-braid that I wore when I had been serving as a harem maid.
Slowly, she drew a chair next to the Emperor's bed, and sat down to watch. I floated above them, interested. The girl then drew a cool cloth from the folds of her own robe and touched it to Hotohori's head. I sat, cross-legged in the air and simply watched in amusement. What could she be trying to do?
The next few days in the palace passed me in a whirl. I was ghost, and though the time that passed through me was the same as the time that passed though the others, time had barely any meaning left in me by now. True, by Taiistkun's power, I could travel back and forward in the dimension of time so long as I didn't interfere. As if I could, heh. Therefore, I didn't notice the passage of time much, and consequently, it rushed by me in a kaleidoscope of colors and images.
It was a whole five days before Hotohori had fully recovered from the ordeal. His studies, meetings, and court life continued on a fairly normal basis, but there was now someone new in his life - Houki. The young maid in his harem that had sneaked into his private chamber (with a great deal more trouble than me because I was invisible) and tended to him, keeping vigil by his bedside, refusing budge inch. She didn't even eat until the Emperor had gotten well again, and by that time, he had gotten to know her quite well.
Hotohori too, had been surprised with her resemblance to me. But by now, I had realized. This was how Taiistkun was fulfilling my wish. In her own way, she was making sure that a souvenir - an imprinted memory of me, was living within Hotohori - through Houki. She was a very bright lady - the daughter of a Lord living somewhere on the far northern border of Konan. She knew all the arts - cooking, sewing, housekeeping, riding, reading, writing, strategy board games, and three different instruments - even a scattering of martial arts - all the requirements of a proper lady. She was many things I was not - but even our personalities were similar in a way.
Like me, Houki loved making the Emperor laugh. She would spend hours on end creating small, cute gifts that only she would think of - a doll fashioned from colored clay, a waist chain of dried hay rings, even a crown of willow leaves once. That gift left Hotohori weeping in grief for me. You shouldn't cry, heika. I did tell Taiistkun to give you happiness. How is that going to work if you are crying? Houki is there to make you happy, Hotohori. Please understand...
And Houki did make him happy. Besides her gifts, she spent time with him like no one ever had. Cooking his meals for him when he was tired of the chef's daily admission. Playing long games of shogi and warring knights with him when he was bored. Taking on guises of peasants and strolling through the streets of Konan when time permitted. The days following my death would have either been categorized as the saddest time of the Emperor's life, or the happiest.
With Houki's patient company, Hotohori slowly overcame his unfathomable grief for me, and made himself a new life. I did not hate Houki because she was doing everything that I had ever dreamed of doing. I loved her for what she did - she gave Hotohori-sama happiness when he did not have any. In a way, she was his savior from depression, from withdrawal, from self-loathing. I didn't doubt that had Houki not been there, Hotohori would've been a miserable wreck by now. And it was all thanks to Taiistkun that she was there. I owed her so much.
As the weeks passed, I traversed between Konan and Kutou on a daily basis, to check on my friends, and watch Hotohori. On one earlier occasion, I only just got there in time to see Miaka in her bare undies, being frozen into a helpless block of ice by some Genbu seishi. I gave them a 'little' (*ahem*) talking-to, with backup from my dear ole' madam fist. Being spirits themselves, they saw and heard me well enough - but for entertainment more than anything else, (they were rather bored) they went ahead with the procedure anyway. Well, two can play at that game. Controlling my bracelet with my will, which Miaka was wearing at the time, I brought Suzaku's power into play. It promptly broke the encasing ice, to Tamahome and Tasuki's great relief.
And so it was that I waited, and watched. I grieved when Chiriko met his end with the Seiryuu bastard Miboshi. I saw their spirits - both at once - rise from Chiriko's bloodied body. The poor boy, brilliant though he was, was nearly weeping with terror. I was standing over Miboshi's spirit when he rose, and I proceeded to beat the living crap out of him as soon as his spirit was tangible with mine.
It took awhile for Enma (King of the Dead) to sort them out, but once he found that both were sichiseishi, they were immediately granted entrance to heaven by default. Chiriko and I, backed by about two dozen Nyan-Nyans, argued Miboshi's case on innocent murder for close to seven hours straight before he finally relented and sent the cursing spirit into the depths of hell.
There were times for grief, but there were times to rejoice as well. Like Hotohori's and Lady Houki's wedding, for example. I was so happy that I went ahead and told Miaka and the others - forgetting yet again that they couldn't hear or see me. That however, didn't deter me, as I knew that they would see them as soon as they returned.
Hotohori had never looked happier since he found that he had found six new friends in his fellow seishi as well as a miko to love. His officials and advisors were absolutely thrilled by the fact that they would have a new heir soon, and no one was stopping Houki from doing anything that she wanted. Taking advantage of this fact, she immediately demanded to attend all court sessions and important meetings along with the Emperor. A request to which the officials frowned upon, but Hotohori welcomed.
Then it was Miaka's return. Hotohori hadn't forgotten her - nor had she lost the place in his heart that he kept so delicately protected. Houki had not taken her place, but had rather made herself a new place in his being. I could've died again laughing when Miaka realized that this 'me' had breasts. Tamahome and Tasuki were screeching for Chichiri to put me at rest back in my grave. It was hysterical. Throughout it all, Houki kept her head, and when the Emperor finally introduced her, everyone got a shock.
Chiriko joined me in watching them after that - a disappointed seishi who was barely a child, but not even yet a man. That wasn't a problem. I could hardly be called a 'man' (*cough*) myself.
Events flew by after that. I watched as Mitsukake sacrificed himself to save a small child named Shouka, his healing power careening off in every direction as he did. He healed everyone on the battlefield - friend and enemy alike. What fools those soldiers were. They only started fighting again as soon as they regained their strength - making Mitsukake's sacrifice for nothing. I hoped they rot in hell.
Sometime after that, the accursed Seiryuu no Miko wished Miaka back into her world - and by stroke of pure luck, Tamahome (bless his soul) managed to grab her before she disappeared. Chiriko and I were nearly frantic. Taiistkun, however, assured us that the battle would still be won. It was looking like a hopeless situation. Three seishi dead, and one was dying...
Oh, did I forget? As I now think, Hotohori lies dying on the ground before me. Speared through by Nakago's energy. I hope that Seiryuu monstrosity will be damned forever in hell, and beyond. This was not just the 'Emperor' dying - this was also a seishi, a husband, and yes - a father. Houki had been pronounced pregnant not a month before. And Hotohori was leaving them all behind. Chichiri was praying for him. Tasuki and Kouji were in mourning. Bandits they may be, but they followed their own code, and were loyal to the Emperor.
I saw Hotohori's spirit rise. He was still in a daze from Nakago's energy. Now he could see and 'touch' me. Chiriko and Mitsukake were there to greet him, but I was working myself into a fine temper.
How could you? Rushing into battle like that? You know you were rushing into your death, and yet you went ahead with it! How could you do that to me?
Gomen, Nuriko. I...I only wanted to protect my country, and my miko. I...hadn't wished to die...
You do realize what this MEANS? That you are leaving an unborn child behind - a loving wife who is so buried in grief that she will likely never come out? You've wasted the wish that I've made for you. Not entirely, but it could've been more. I wanted you to be happy, heika-sama.
Gomen...I...gomen. It is so good to see you again! I was sick with worry...
Huh. I happen to know. I saw you when you fell right off your throne like a stone. Maddening feeling, isn't it? To feel a person closer than a brother - dying right there in your mind, but not being able to do anything about it.
You don't know the half of it. I...I didn't realize Nuriko. Gomen - gomenasai. I wasn't thinking of Houki just as I was rushing into battle. But I wanted to see her one last time before I died...
You can see her now. Come with me. I'll warn you though, you very much won't like what you see.
Houki was in her chamber, clutching a small Imperial crown (which I still insist looks like a bucket) and staring blankly into space. Her eyes were unfocused, her breath coming in quick chokes, her body as still as stone. I knew the feeling all to well. I had felt the same when Kourin had died. Like some part of me had just vanished one day. I had been beyond grief at that time. I was so buried in it that there was no need for tears. I remembered that I didn't eat for two weeks after the incident - almost starving myself to death before my mother finally force-fed me nutrition.
It was the same as Houki. I could see Hotohori's sharp intake of breath. Houki... Her stomach was still flat, since it had only been a month, but she had one hand on her abdomen, and was prodding it gently. Her face and lips were just about bloodless. We floated on, through walls and into other rooms, where Hotohori stared for some time at his own, lifeless body for some time before composing himself. Chichiri, Tasuki, and Kouji were all crowded around the casket, fervently praying and crying.
It took some time for me to lead him away from the scene. Once back on Mount Taikyoku, he experienced a small spectacle - meeting Taiistkun in form and person - as she should be. She was more enigma than person - keeping secrets, but knowing all.
Things went from downhill to pitless bottom at that point. Miaka almost lost everything dear to her - and Seiryuu no Miko came frighteningly close to being absorbed. Taiistkun alerted all of us - Chiriko, Mitsukake, Hotohori, and I - about Miaka's impending doom, and we were summoned back to earth once more. A Nyan-Nyan transformed temporarily into me, so I could possess her and use a physical body once more. It was nice using my strength again to do what I was born to do: protect my miko. It was wonderful to be able to feel Miaka's hands again, to be able to touch her and embrace her.
At the last minute, Miaka wished for Seiryuu to be sealed - taking Nakago's power away once and for all. Tamahome had the great and envied honor of pushing a fist through his midsection.
I almost missed the finishing touches of events running by in a fervor of excitement, but first, Nakago's spirit had to be dealt with. As a god's celestial warrior, he had all rights to heaven. In the end, Suzaku himself appeared - up close and personal too in his human avatar- to plead on his brother god's behalf. Seiryuu was personally unsealed by Taiistkun, since there were no warriors of his own left anyway, and he was quite icy and touchy about the fact - muttering curses about 'His damned brother, and his brother's damned miko.'
Back on worlds of reality, Miaka and Tamahome had separated, true, but Enma, upon Taiistkun's request, sent Tamahome's dead spirit to be reborn in her world specifically. It was a joyous reunion for them, one that I will never forget. Things rolled smoothly on from there.
Chichiri and Tasuki, the last Suzaku seishi left, wandered their world - Chichiri always being a wanderer, and Tasuki, no longer finding a place with his bandits, accompanied Chichiri on his travels. They traveled together, their bond growing stronger, and they dutifully stopped by Eiyo every year to pay homage to the ruling Empress and the young Emperor-to-be. Boushin, as he was called. And an adorable thing he was. It was a shame that he had to live without his father. Hotohori was certain that he'd grow up as beautiful as himself, if not more.
In heaven, Kourin and I were reunited. One of the many perks of being dead (among others). She knocked me right off my feet, pinned me to the ground, and screamed in my face the first moment she saw me.
"Why why why why WHY did you crossdress, you - you little - ARGH!!! 'Nii-san, you make me so MAD!!! You knew I was dead, and you knew that I'd be in your heart and with you every step of your life, and YET YOU CHOSE TO CROSSDRESS!!! It's UNFORGIVABLE!!!"
Hotohori and Chiriko were both chuckling. Kourin and I had always been alike, and though ghosts did not age, she was in a form of a lovely young woman, long, purple hair down to her waist, indigo eyes sparkling with fury. I had been born with the strength that could lift a dozen times my own weight, and yet Kourin had always been the only person in the world who could knock me down and pin me with ease.
And so I lived in heaven, among friends family. I had lived my life as Nuriko, fulfilling my seishi duties to their fullest. On occasion, we would journey to Miaka's world - to marvel at her wondrous machines and technology, and to check up on Taka (that's his name now) and our dear miko.
It was not until two earth years later that I was called again to perform my duties as a seishi. It was only now that I understood what Tomite and Hikitsu, Tatara and Tokaki, had first said when we met them. Performing duties as a seishi went beyond death, age, and separation. If your miko was in danger, you were obligated to be there to protect her - dead or alive. The whole memory globe process with Taka and the showdown with Majin Tenkou all gave us a chance to be with Miaka again, and we loved it. All the seishi and I.
Taiiskun, for her own reasons, absolutely forbid us to be reincarnated until she gave us permission. I didn't understand why, but no one really understood Taiistkun. It really infuriated me. She had promised that we could be reborn after Tenkou's intercepting power was defeated, after all. But Taiistkun firmly stuck with the fact that she had 'reasons'.
Taka and Miaka have two children now: Toriko and Niaru. Two children, born of a miko and a seishi from two entirely different worlds - the first ever to be born under such circumstances. Children whom Suzaku had blessed with holy fire at birth. I watch them now...leading lives for all the world like any normal human. Heaven knows...they were born to be special...
...And so my story ends here. In happiness and love, I spent my endless days in heaven. Waiting, waiting, and forever waiting in a utopia of happiness. There are many other tales to be told. Like Niaru Sukinami's own journey into our world, for example. She would become a priestess for the Four Gods, beloved of a mysterious pirate... but that's another story, and shall be told another time..........................................
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~~~~~~Owaari~~~~~