A/N: So I've finally done it. I've finally started my bunny story I've been dreaming about for months… literally… months. And literally, I've been dreaming about it. So as you can see this is going to be a fanfic about Kenny and Butters, only the two best characters in South Park! So super seriousleh… anyway. This is a far stretch from my normal kind of writing so it's going to be quite the challenge. Please go easy on meh… I would be soooo happy. *Craig Voice* Ahem, so yes this is South Park so it will be crude, racist, and all the other demeaning and outrageous things that South Park is, so prepare for that.
I don't mean to offend anybody.
It's a boy on boy fic… of course! Does smuttylove write about anything else? But fear not, it isn't going to be hardcore fuck fuck, skeet skeet, I'm so super seriousleh gay for you out of nowhere bullshit. Um… Okay now I'm just rambling… read on.
Prologue
There was a lot of things Kenny McCormick was, but oblivious wasn't one of them. When Butters Stotch came back to South Park after spending the summer with his aunt Nellie in Los Angeles, he had definitely matured in more ways than one. Kenny wasn't the only one gawking at the sight of the reformed boy as he strolled into class, a confident kick in his step that was also a new improvement to his changed appearance.
Butters was radiating confidence, something he was lacking (for a better word) the majority of his young life. Cat calls and whistles were heard from all over the room as Butters took a seat in a desk placed conveniently between Kenny and Cartman.
"Hey fellers!"
So not much had changed after all.
Despite his new outward appearance, Butters was still the same goofy kid with awkward hick accent. Kenny didn't mind. In fact he took comfort in the notion that his personality hadn't changed. He smiled behind the cinched hood of his orange parka and gave Butters a friendly pat on the back.
"Meh mem, mowmz mim momem?"
"Now Kenny, y-you know darn well ain't nobody gonna understand a-a darn thing you're sayin' behind that hood!" Butters scolded before reaching across to release the draw strings. Kenny let out a humble laugh before translating, "I said 'Hey man, how's it going?'"
"Butters, don't tell me you've been hanging around those god damn California hippies so long you can't even understand Kinneeh," Cartman chimed indignantly.
"Butters, dude. You look different." Stan commented from a few seats over.
And indeed he did. For starters, his short and pale blonde hair that had once resembled a tattered pompom had now grown to a considerable length, almost as long as Kenny's, which Cartman took no time in accusing of being, "So fuckin' hippeh."
He'd grown a few inches, although still lagged behind the other boys in height, especially Stan who'd grown to a whopping 6'2. Kenny was second in line at a comfortable 6'0 which left Cartman and Kyle who barely reached 5'11. Last but not least came Butters who had now reached at least 5'9 over the past few summer months. So he wasn't exactly Shaq but it was an improvement from the steady 5'7 he'd been rocking since he had a growth spurt in 7th grade.
"Aw, shucks fellers… I'm still the same ole Butters… Y-yep, that's me!" the blonde boy stated while jutting a thumb to his chest.
So, he was… but it wasn't obvious by looking at his new do and attire. Now, Butters actually had style. Butters, 'I wear whatever my mom picks out for me in the morning', Butters, 'I've been wearing the same damn turquoise sweatshirt since 3rd grade, that unexplainably grows with me', the Butters that tap dances and still plays with Legos for fun, that Butters was now somewhat fashionable.
Sporting a sweet pair of sneakers and a teal polo shirt, Butters could have easily fit in with Clyde and the rest of those "preppy butt-fucking assholes" as Stan had so often put it after Token had successfully stolen Wendy from him for the twenty-second time.
As Kenny examined the boy a bit more closely he started to notice that there was something else a bit off about Butters. He was more chipper than usual, as if that was even possible. He kept using hand gestures and flipping his hair, as well as dragging out the last word of every sentence, giving it more syllables than needed. If Kenny didn't know any better he could have sworn Butters was acting really fucking—
"Gay!" Cartman suddenly shouted over the bustling classroom. The sudden outburst caused students to turn heads and Kenny to jump slightly in shock, "Dude what the fuck are you wearing?"
Kenny glanced down, following Cartman's arm until he saw the object he was feverishly pointing at: a rainbow rubber wristband. He smiled to himself, both from the hilarity of the situation and the accuracy of his keen gaydar sense. However, his grin quickly faded when he noticed the mortified look on Butters' face. Pale and stricken with embarrassment Butters began slowly sinking in his chair, clutching his arm which bore the item of shame.
"O-Oh yeah… fellers there's something I gotta tell you…" Butters stuttered while familiarly mashing his fists together.
Kenny leaned forward in his chair, eager to hear the following sentences and be a witness to the confession everybody already knew.
Butters was gay.
"I'm… bicurious." Butters finally managed to force out in a hasty breath.
Cartman bust into hysterics, Stan pinched the bridge of his nose uncomfortably, and Kyle only blushed a fierce crimson before diverting his attention to his textbook. Kenny only smiled, pleased that Butters had finally come out of the closet and confirmed all of his past suspicions.
"You see fellers, up in California they're a lot more acceptin' of… well uh… homosexuality. So I said to myself… I said 'Butters! To heck with all of haters and do yourself a favor and… and admit it!' and so I have. My parents are awful sore and well… I got grounded but it feels just swell to get this off my chest!" Butters finished with a grand smile.
The eruption of laughter continued, Kenny's smile remained, and Butters just blushed redder than a fire hydrant. Eventually Mr. Garrison had shut everyone up long enough to finally start class after loudly announcing to Butters that he always knew he was a fag.
Soon, everyone began to forget the public confession and moved on to more interesting drama. It wasn't as if nobody saw it coming and it was definitely not the oddest thing that had ever happened in South Park. Butters seemed unfazed as he paid close attention to Mr. Garrison's crude lecture over anatomy.
The class of children, now seniors in their prime, knew full well about vaginas and penises; but every year Mr. Garrison felt the need to lecture the students over the same subject over and over. Why Mr. Garrison was their teacher year after year, they didn't bother to question but nobody liked change anyways so they dealt with his perverted teaching every semester and endured it with optimism.
Kenny had since rested his head on the desk, long enough for his cheek to start sticking to the polished wood. He was facing Butters and still giving him that admirable stare. He'd never been so proud of Leopold 'Butters' Stotch than he was at this exact moment. Not only had he stuck up for himself in front of Cartman, confessing something that could have very well been known as social suicide, but damn did he look good doing it.
Something eventually caught his attention as he noticed the other blonde consistently looking to his side every two minutes, obviously fiddling with something in his hand. Kenny peered over and saw the metallic shine of a cell phone. As soon as the initial shock wore off of Butters actually owning a cellular device, an evil smirk played across his lips. Despite he and Butters being close friends, he still took opportunities to poke fun at the boy like all the others. It was just way too much fun.
"Butters, put your phone away!" Kenny called out loudly, putting extra emphasis on the word phone and projecting his voice towards Mr. Garrison who instantly turned around with his left hand on his hip, a piece of chalk in the other.
"Butters, quit texting your faggy boyfriend and pay attention." He scolded before turning back to the chalk board, a poorly drawn stick figure woman with too large of breasts on the surface, "Now class, here is the va-gi-na. Something that Butters here will never experience. Bless his heart, they smell like a fish market and cottage cheese anyway…"
Butters frowned, as well as Kenny.
Boyfriend?
Kenny could feel something in his stomach churning and found himself raising an eyebrow in annoyance.
Butters has a boyfriend?
Kenny cocked his head to the side, all while continuing to stare at the phone in Butters grasp he'd yet to put away. What would Kenny expect from one who had just come out? Something had to have triggered the sudden realization. He tapped his fingers on the desk before coming to the conclusion, he had to get his hands on that cell phone.
"Hey Butters," Kenny whispered over dramatically. It was not a whisper at all but talking loudly in a raspy voice. The blonde turned to face him, his lips still curled in a pout.
"What Kenny?"
His tone caused Kenny's eyebrows to furrow downwards and an exasperated sigh to escape his lips. He gave up the whispering gag and smiled, having suddenly come up with a brilliant idea.
"Gotta roach on your shoulder." Kenny stated bluntly with his arms crossed.
A look of horror came over poor Leopold's face, as his skin was drained from all color. He leaped out of his desk and began flailing about swinging arms and kicking legs.
"Oh geeze! O-Oh Jesus!" Butters screeched as he danced around like a madman. The classroom was blind sided as everyone stared at Butters as if he'd lost his mind.
As Kenny had hoped, that cell phone went flying out of Butters hand and as it sailed through the air it was as if everything were in slow motion… at least in Kenny's imagination. Butters' squeaky voice suddenly sounded like a bellowing black man, the phone was moving an inch a second and Kenny was dramatically diving to retrieve it from mid-air.
Because it was Kenny, and because it was South Park, and because the whole workings of the universe failed miserably in this remote location in the middle of Colorado, and because time was not really moving in slow motion after all, Kenny did not catch the phone. Instead it landed a few feet from his desk and slid with a horrible screech across the tiles. The orange clad blonde jumped from his desk towards the phone, Butters still convinced there was a creepy crawler invading his personal space. He grabbed the device and darted out the door yelling, "Piss break!" on his way.
He scampered to the bathroom, busted open a stall, and took a seat on the lid of the toilet. He then proceeded to flip open the phone and before he even got a chance to investigate anything a tiny envelope icon appeared on the screen, bordered by a blue box and the name… 'Bradley'. Kenny couldn't suppress a snort, as he thought to himself how homo the name Bradley sounded. He pressed the small button in the center of the keyboard and waited with anticipation for the message to open. To his dismay, it was nothing interesting but a simple 'You there?'
Kenny sighed and pressed the back button to find his way to the message inbox but before he could snoop through the many texts shared between Butters and this Bradley guy he failed to notice the background on Butters phone. His fingers froze in place as he stared at the picture: there was Butters looking radiant and glistening in the California sun as well as another boy, with too curly of hair and a crooked smile. He wasn't unattractive, Kenny wasn't much better, but compared to Butters… beautiful Butters he looked like another heaping pile of white trash.
Kenny frowned and closed the phone.
He could feel some sort of pressure in his chest, almost as if his heart were sinking. He'd always thought it was just a figure of speech but right now, at this moment, it literally felt as though his heart was resting on top of his stomach, pressing against his insides and causing an undeniable feeling of ache. What could this feeling mean? Kenny decided that it was purely indigestion and strolled out of the bathroom and back towards class only to find Butters marching out the door and in his direction with a stern look on his face. Well… as stern as Butters could manage. Kenny found it amusing and flashed him a devious smile.
"K-Kenny just what the heck do you think you're doin'?" Butters called out, a little louder than his usual inside voice.
"What ever are you implying, Leopold dearest?" Innocence was not Kenny's forte and he looked a bit foolish trying to sway Butters into thinking he was completely ignorant.
"W-Why did you take my phone?" Butters sputtered out with a hand on his hip, disturbingly similar to the way Mr. Garrison had only a few moments ago.
"Your phone? Why… I would never do such a thing!" Kenny retaliated, acting hurt.
"Then why is it in your hand…"
The silence that followed was anything more than awkward.
Kenny glanced to Butters, to the phone, then back to Butters before tossing it in the air, "Here you go!"
Butters stumbled around to retrieve it, fearing it would break from already dropping twice on the hard linoleum floor. Kenny took this as an opportunity to make a break for it and avoid confrontation and further questioning. He wasn't feeling up to a day of school anyways. As he was sprinting to the front entrance of South Park High, almost tripping on his acid washed jeans that were far too long, he turned back towards the other blonde who was yelling and hollering for him to 'get back here!'.
"Hey Butters! Tell me when I get to meet Bradley!"
Even from the distance, Kenny could see Butters turn a light shade of crimson. He chuckled to himself, burst through the double doors and took off into the street where he was then hit by a bus.
"You bastard!" Kyle quickly covered his mouth in surprise, caught off guard by his sudden outburst.
"Dude… what the hell?" Stan muttered from his side, giving his red-headed best friend a once over.
"I-I don't know… It was just… a tick I guess." Kyle replied, red with embarrassment.
"Sure it was Jew boy, sure it was." Cartman chimed.
"Can it fatass!"
"I'm not fat, I'm big boned!"
"Dude, your fat! You've always been fucking fat, and you'll always be fucking fat!"
"Not again…" Stan muttered while pinching the bridge of his nose out of habit, "Can you believe this, Kenny?... Kenny? Hey, has anyone seen Kenny?"
A/N: Now come on guys… I couldn't leave out Kenny's constant deaths. Of course he comes back… But come on. It's Kenny. It's what he does.