CHAPTER ONE

Bloody Truth

"Cause baby you're a firework

Come on, show 'em what you're worth

Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"

As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby, you're a firework

Come on, let your colors burst

Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"

You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe"

Proud. Athletic. Strong. Brave. Bold. These were all of the known traits that anyone would have picked up on within five minutes of meeting Alvin Seville. However he also possessed other traits that only his family knew of, and some that even they didn't know of. They knew that under his outer-shell he was kind, caring, but also a bit of a baby. Finally, there was one last trait that no one else knew; and it was the exact way he planned to keep it.

He had known since he was about six that he was different on his ideas of beauty and attraction, but up until three years ago he had no idea what it was. Now, he was about sixteen years old and hating himself. He thought he was horrible. He was the scum of the earth. He would sit in his room and cry alone when no one was around. He had even begun to hurt himself. Originally he thought it was a terrible idea, but as soon as he tried it he felt relief; and so Alvin continued.

Strangely there were two sides to this secret. Half the time he was depressed, but other times he could pull himself up and feel great about it; and almost scream it to the world! This confused him but he just assumed it was part of his hormones, or whatever Simon called it. Ironically, though they constantly fought with each other, Simon seemed like the only feasible person for Alvin to tell. He almost never got mad, always supportive, completely patient, and understanding. Simon on the other hand was completely confused. He felt like half the time he saw his brother he was either depressed or seemingly taking drugs that made him extremely happy and affectionate.

OOO

Simon Seville was sitting in the on the couch in the living room reading an interesting book, The Nuclear Potential. He was highly engrossed in the book, and he couldn't stop reading. When Simon was reading, he would always notice other people. Today, however, he was to focused on the book he was reading, that he failed to notice how depressed Alvin felt today.

Losing focus on the book, he heard footsteps coming in the living room. With a raised eyebrow, he put down his book to notice that Alvin walked in and went over to the table to pick up one of his comic books. Once the comic was picked up, Simon noticed Alvin walking back out of the living room, not even picking up his feet when he walked. He looked like he was in physical pain, and his face looked like he could care less about anything. He saw his brother leave the room letting out a sad sigh. He heard Alvin's footsteps climbing up the stairs, slowly fading as he moved his way up.

Deciding that enough was enough, Simon closed the book he was reading, and set it down on the couch. He got up, left the living room, and stood in front of the steps. He saw his older brother lazily walking up the steps, and once he made it upstairs, he walked straight to his room. Curious to Alvin's strange behavior, Simon quietly walked up the stairs, hoping that his older brother won't hear him. Once he reached the top of the stairs, he sneaked silently in between the closing door and the door frame of Alvin's room. Not a word was spoken when Simon watched Alvin sitting on the opposite side of the bed. He saw his older brother put his head on his hands, while resting his elbows on his thighs and began crying his eyes out. Simon was shocked at what he was seeing before his eyes. Here was his brother who, up until a year ago, had never shed a tear; and now he was crying his eyes out!

OOO

Alvin finally stopped sobbing, and wiped the tears off his cheeks. He got up and went to his dresser and picked up his iPod on top of it. He brought the iPod up to his face, and before he pressed a button, he saw his brother, Simon, reflecting on the screen. Letting out a long gasp, he quickly turned around with wide eyes and asked, "How much did you see?"

"Enough..." Simon answered, before opening the door all the way and walked inside. "Is there something wrong, Alvin?" Simon asked, waling closer to his older brother. "Your moods have been so erratic lately that it has gotten me worried sick." Simon shook his head, and continued. "I just can't take it anymore."

Getting over the shock, Alvin blinked and responded, "Nothing's wrong." in a 'that's final tone'. He then began marching towards the door; however, Simon put an amazingly strong grip on his older brother's arm, which caused Alvin to cry out in pain.

Rolling his eyes, Simon said, "Oh come on, Alvin. I didn't even rub your skin hard." While letting go of Alvin's arm, Simon gasped in horror when he noticed that he did hurt Alvin. He could see blood seeping through the sleeves on Alvin's hooded sweater. Simon's scientific mind began rushing with possibilities. However, none of them were accurate, and all of his assumptions lead him to think that Alvin had some sort of degenerative condition that made his skin weak.

Without wasting another second, Simon gently lifted Alvin's hand and pulled back the sleeve, before Alvin could react. When the sleeve was pulled back, Simon could have instantly screamed at the sight in front of him. He began to sputter random syllables, as if he was trying to come up with something to say. Simon couldn't believe that he was seeing at least seven cuts running horizontally across his arm. Barely able to speak, Simon asked in whisper, "A...Al...Alvin?"

Shamefully looking away from his brother, Alvin said, "I'm sorry Si. I wanted to tell you for a while now, but I never had the courage to." He pulled away from Simon, and slowly walked away from his brother. He stopped after a few feet and looked down. He couldn't tell his brother the truth. He just couldn't do it.

Simon, who was standing a few feet away from his brother, fully turned to see the back of Alvin's head. He knew that Alvin was hiding something form him. Needless to say, this made him feel upset. Brothers shared everything with each other, no matter how painful or heart shattering it could be. That's where comfort and support came to play. Simon needed Alvin to know he is there for him, despite their bickering. Blinking a few times, he shook his head; his shock finally began to lift, and asked, "Tell me what, Alvin?"

Alvin gulped, and stayed silent for a while. He forces his gaze to the side and let out a shaky breath. "I...I can't say it."

Feeling his brother senses kicking in, Simon forced himself to walk over to Alvin, and yell, "Alvin!" He stops, leaving a small gap between him and his brother. He narrows his eyes at the back of Alvin's head and continues yelling. "I'm not taking 'no' for an answer. Now damn it, Alvin; tell..."

"Simon!" Alvin shouts, turning around, glaring at his brother. "I'm going to tell you. It's just that I can't physically say it.

Starting to relax his body, Simon face fell and his eyes began to show guilt. "Oh...sorry..." He felt slightly ashamed of how he reacted. His eyes fell to the floor, and continued speaking. "I shouldn't have reacted like that, Alvin."

Alvin also calmed down, knowing that his brother was only caring for him. He shouldn't have gotten mad at him for that. "It's okay, Simon. I understand."

Simon looked up to Alvin's blue eyes, his guilt still evident from a moment ago. "No it's not, Alvin. That was out of line." He shook his head and stated, "I shouldn't have cursed either."

Alvin lowered his gaze and nodded. He knew his brother was not the swearing type. The only time he would here Simon curse was when he was frustrated, in pain, or just sympathetically angry. "Look, Si..." He took a deep breath before continuing. "To tell you, I've got something that will show you what I have to tell you."

Simon let a small grin form on his lips and asked, "Okay, what is it?"

Alvin was thoughtful for a moment before responding. "Um..." He looked back up to meet his brother's grey eyes. "Si, I need you to step out of my room so I can show you."

Confused by his older brother's request, Simon asks, "What?"

Alvin smiled and said, "Just trust me." He grabs Simon's shoulders and playfully turned him around and guided him to the door.

Simon stopped walking, and turned around to face Alvin; giving him a serious look. "Under one condition, Al." He narrows his eyes at Alvin. "You give me what you were using to cut yourself."

Alvin snickered at this and gave Simon an amused look. "Actually, Si; It's not in here. if you go inside the bathroom, you will find it on top of the door frame."

Simon stared at Alvin, examining his eyes to see if what he said was true. It was not that he didn't believe his older brother. He was just worried that Alvin might do something to himself after he left. He truly did care about his older brother. Sensing no sign of fibbing, Simon nodded his head and said, "Okay, now I'm going to go confiscate it..." He turns around and walks up to the door. He opens the door, and just before leaving, he turns around and looks at his older brother. "...but I won't tell Dave unless you don't tell me when I get back." He gives Alvin a sympathetic look before asking, "Understand?" Alvin nods his head with a smile. Simon gives a quick nod before exiting the room and shutting the door behind him.

While Simon was gone, Alvin ran up to the door and locked it. He ran up to his closet and opened the door. He began searching for his shirt, which contained the message. Once he found it, he picked up a thick black sweater and ran up to his bed and threw his selected throwing on his bed. He began to take off his shirt and threw it on the floor. He picked up the shirt on the bed, and put it on his body. He then picked up the thick black sweater and put it over his shirt, which contained the message. As soon as he finished changing, Alvin heard a knock on the door.

"Alvin, I'm done." he heard Simon say, "Are you ready?"

Alvin took a deep breath and exhaled, "Yeah, I'm ready." He walked up to the door and unlocked it. He opened the door, just to be greeted by Simon as he asked, "Where did you get that razor blade anyway?" He walked in the bedroom and waited for Alvin to answer.

Alvin smiled softly at his brother. He closed the door, before responding confidently. "Actually, that was one of my smarter moments." He looked at his younger brother. "I sneaked a disposable razor out of Dave's bathroom. I broke it open and just got one out."

Simon nodded. "So Alvin..." Simon started before turning around, looking at Alvin's blue eyes. "What is it?"

Alvin closed his eyes and took another breath. "Okay, Si...just..." He sighed and opened his eyes to meet Simon's grey ones. "...just promise me that you'll never leave me, and that you won't hate me."

Simon was shocked at what his older brother just asked him to promise. He didn't feel that he needed to promise Alvin that because he would never leave or hate Alvin for any reason. He was more than his brother; he was his best friend. That right there was the promise, so there was no reason to say it. "Alvin, of course I won't hate you! You're like...like my best friend! You're my flesh and blood!" Simon rubbed the back of his neck. "I...I know we argue a lot, but I could never hate you!"

Alvin smiled at what his younger brother said. He only wished Simon felt the same way after he finds out the truth. It would kill him, knowing that his brother would hate him. "Okay, Si..." He took a slight pause before continuing. "...just close your eyes, and I'll tell you to open them when I'm ready."

Simon arched his eyebrows. He wasn't sure why Alvin needed him to close his eyes, but if it was going to help the chipmunk, then he figured it wasn't going to hurt. "Um...okay."

Alvin took a deep breath before taking off his jacket. With a sigh, he looked up at Simon and soon gave an amused look towards his younger brother. Simon had even taken his glasses off. Alvin chuckled lightly at his younger brother' action. That was Simon for you. He would always take extra precautionary and comforting measures. Needless to say, Alvin appreciated that very much. "Si, you can open your eyes now." He said softly, before nervously stuttering, "I...I'm finished."

With his eyes sill closed, Simon slowly set his glasses on his face and let out a sigh. He didn't want to open his eyes just yet, because he was just worried himself that he couldn't handle it. After all, it had clearly driven his brother into such a great depression; that he had begun to cut himself. However despite that fact, Simon still wanted to help and support his older brother. He had to let Alvin know he was there for him, and that no truth could ever break their brotherhood and friendship. Simon took a deep breath and slowly opened his eyes to see the back of his older brother. There was a message on the back of Alvin's shirt, and it took Simon a second to process what he saw before letting out a shocked gasp. His mouth just hung open at the news in front of him, and was too surprised to realize what had changed in the room. He had been absorbed into his thought, which mainly consisted of the words 'What?' and 'Why?', and kept repeating them over and over in his mind.

He was suddenly broken from his thoughts when he heard the window opening. He blinked multiple times before he looked up to only see Alvin with a duffel bag and a backpack. Clearly, he had planned to run away if something went bad and felt a little hurt. Honestly, he didn't care if Alvin felt this way; but he did care if he never got to see him again. Simon quickly ran up to Alvin and grabbed him by the collar of his jacket, that he had put back on, and pulled him back into the house. The chipmunk was clearly trying to run away by climbing out of the window. However, Simon wouldn't allow it, for the reason that he cared about and loved Alvin. Watching him leave and never come back was heart breaking. He just wouldn't allow it.

Alvin was covered in tears, and Simon couldn't blame him. He understood Alvin's fear, and he too would be sobbing if he was in Alvin's position. He took Alvin's duffel back and backpack and tossed them on the bed. He faced Alvin and quickly pulled him into an enormous bear hug and let Alvin cry in his shoulder. He didn't mind this at all. He would do anything for his brothers, and would always do his best to protect them from pain. He truly did love them, especially Alvin.

Simon heard the door open, and slowly looked up to see Theodore and Dave coming inside the room. Knowing that now was not a good time, Simon quickly shooed them away. They both nodded simultaneously and quietly left the room, and slowly shutting the door behind them. Simon was grateful that they left because he was certain that Alvin was not ready to know yet.

Simon gently pulled Alvin towards the bed and let them both sit down on the edge. With Alvin still crying on his shoulder, Simon rubbed Alvin's back lightly and whispered, "Sh...Alvin, its okay..." Simon rocked Alvin back and forth, still rubbing his brother's back. "Alvin, I understand why you are afraid. There is no doubt in my mind that anyone in your position would be," Simon kept rocking Alvin back and forth, shutting his eye as he held his brother tightly. "...but I'm asking you not to be. I love you, Alvin; no matter what." Tears fell down Simon's eyes as he continued to speak softly. "I...I know we've said a myriad of combination of cruel words to each other, but I promise you they were nothing more than that." A light sob escaped from Simon as flashbacks of him and his brother came to mind. He could hear the echoes of words he and his brothers said to each other. Now listening, he felt extremely guilty. "They were just meant to make you feel bad, and...And I'm sorry for that, but please!" He kissed Alvin's cheek affectionately before continuing. "Please don't leave me, Alvin! I couldn't make it without you!"

Alvin sniffled and pulled away from his brother. He looked up at him with bloodshot eyes and tear stains on his cheeks. "I'm sure you would make it without me, Si. I'm nothing more than a stupid kid!"

"Don't say that about yourself, Alvin!" Simon yelled sternly. "You are not, I repeat not a stupid kid! You are so much more, Alvin!"

Alvin wiped his face with his hand. "Simon, you don't understand!"

"No, Alvin! You don't understand!" Simon shouted sternly once more before asking, "How can you say something like that about yourself? Don't you know you are a beautiful kid with a great heart?" Simon rested a comforting hand on Alvin's shoulder. "You shouldn't think stuff like that about yourself, Al. You have made so many achievements in your life so far, and you have grown beautifully, like a flower during the spring. I know I never say this much, but I'm proud of you." Simon smiled lovingly towards his brother and pulled off his red cap.. "I would never think of you as stupid, Alvin. I mean, sure, I called you an idiot once in a while, but that was just teasing." He ruffled his brother's hair affectionately before saying, "You know I love you!" He put his brother's hat back on and continued, "So if I believe that you are a smart kid, then you know it's true."

Alvin smiled at Simon. He was glad that Simon felt this way. Even though Simon was strict about it, all the words that came out of his mouth were born from his heart. That was all the encouragement he needed. "Thanks, Simon"

Simon smiled at Alvin lovingly before placing an arm around him, "Anytime, you idiot."

They both began to laugh, knowing that their brotherly bond was still there. In all honesty, that's what they always wanted. They knew they were going to have quarrels most of the time, but they also knew that they loved each other. That's what mattered to them.

While laughing lightly, Alvin asked, "So when you call me a knuckle head, you don't mean it?"

Simon chuckled and answered, "Oh no! You are still a knuckle head!" He smiled when he saw Alvin playfully pout and put pulled him into a loving hug. "...but you are my knuckle head!"

Alvin chuckled lightly and hugged Simon back. "As long as I'm your knuckle head, then I don't mind one bit."

Simon smiled and asked, "Well, do you know what I don't mind?"

"Having me as your brother?" Alvin asked, smiling.

"Well, that..." Simon smirked and whispered in Alvin's ear, "...and you taking a hot shower. Your a little sweaty."

Alvin pulled back and a hot blush was evident on his face. "...S...Sorry..." This caused Simon to laugh a little, which made Alvin pout. Simon was right though; he was a little sweaty. That wasn't his fault however, for he was extremely nervous before when he was going to tell Simon the truth. Before getting off the bed, Alvin said, "I am going to take a shower."

Simon nodded as he watched Alvin get up and leave. However before Alvin got a few feet away from his bed, Simon called him. "Alvin, wait a minute." Simon grabbed him by the arm and turned him around so they were facing each other. Simon leaned down so he was eye level with his older brother. He placed both hands on his shoulder. "I need to tell you something."

Rolling his eyes, Alvin answered, "Yeah I know, Si. Lather, rinse, and repeat."

Rolling his eyes as well, Simon chuckled out a, "No, Alvin." He then became serious. "I just want to let you know that, I love you. Okay?" Alvin nodded. "Also, don't let people make you change your mind about who you are. This is your choice, and if it makes you happy, nobody should stop you. Just know that I will support you through the whole thing, and I know one day, you will meet someone who will be in your interest, and make you feel really, really good." He smiled at Alvin's cute small blush and watched him nod in understanding. Simon patted Alvin on the shoulder and said, "Good. Now go take that shower, you sweaty boy!"

Alvin chuckled when Simon playfully pushed him towards the door. "Okay, okay, I'm going." When Alvin opened the door, he walked out and walked towards the bathroom.

Simon took another look at the back of Alvin's shirt. He studied the design it had on it. It had a diagonal, no bleeding rainbow pattern, with a pink upside down triangle in front; and in the center, was a white word written on the back; Gay.

Alvin looks back at Simon while he kept walking and smiles at him. He had never felt so much happiness before, and felt like that he could literally float away. Once he walks into the bathroom, he shuts the door behind him.

Smirking, Simon yells out, "Don't forget to wash in between your legs! You wouldn't want to get a rash!"

From behind the bathroom, Simon hears Alvin yell out, "Oh, Shut up!"

Simon laughed lightly as he walked into Alvin's room and closed the door behind him. He sat down on Alvin's bed, and waited for his brother to be done in the shower. There was so many things Alvin and him needed to talk about, so he decided to wait in Alvin's room. He thought it would be a good idea to wait in his own room, but he thought he would have some brotherly fun. He just wanted to see Alvin walk in with a towel around his waist and watch him blush. He couldn't deny that Alvin was absolutely adorable when he blushed. Alvin was always shy when it came to exposing his body around his family, especially his brothers. Simon doesn't know why though, because they all grew up together. So it's not like they didn't see what they never saw before. They were all boys, after all.

Still waiting for Alvin to be done in the shower, Simon scanned around Alvin's room. looking at wall to wall, and seeing posters and pictures of family and friends. He smiled and looked at each of them. Alvin truly did love his family and friends, despite his behavior sometimes. Simon noticed that there was not one single picture of him and Alvin on the wall. It only consisted of pictures of Theodore, Dave, and the Chipettes. Though slightly disappointed, Simon didn't make a big deal about this. It's not like Alvin hated or anything, right? No, he loved him, and Simon loved him back. So why was there no picture of him and Alvin together? He surely remembered being in many photos with just Alvin. Simon began scanning again; trying to see of maybe he missed it, and sadly not finding a single one. However he did notice an empty frame hanging on the wall. It looked like a picture could have been up there, but Simon didn't think too much about it. He suddenly heard after running, which told him that Alvin began showering.

Feeling tired, Simon was going to lay down on the bed until he felt Alvin's backpack and duffel bag. The bags felt full and hard. Simon thought that Alvin packed everything he needed for his little runaway.

Reluctantly, Simon began unzipping the bags and going through them. He knew it was wrong to spy, but he was curious to know what Alvin had planned for himself. In the duffel bag, Simon found several sets of clothing and almost one thousand dollars in cash! Needless to say, Simon was surprised that Alvin saved all of his money. That made him prouder of his older brother. Simon continued searching by going inside the backpack. Inside were some food, water, and a knife! Slowly examining the weapon, he found himself not bring suppressed or angry. He would have done the same thing to defend himself as well.

After going through each bag and item, Simon found it strange that Alvin didn't pack any personal belongings. There were no toys, comic books, or anything personal of his older brother's. When he opened the side pocket, he noticed a card like paper inside. Curious, he pulled out the item to notice it was a picture. When he looked at it, he noticed it was a picture of him and Alvin in their middle school graduation, smiling. He himself began to smile and began to cry a little. He looked back up the empty picture frame, and back down on the photo. It was the perfect fit! Simon continued letting his tears fall, and laid down on the bed. He hugged the picture close to his heart and smiled. He closed his eyes and let happy memories of him and Alvin sweep through his mind.

He knew how important he was to Alvin; and in the end, Alvin was his greatest friend. He was now relieved to know Alvin felt the same way.