WHITE WASHED

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi: The Next Generation or any it's characters.

Rating: T just to be safe.

Summary: Sean is gone, her friends have gone, the only person there is the last one expected. What happens when Ellie is all alone and finds comfort in Jay's arms and him, in return, in her's.

Chapter One: Puzzle Pieces

The rain began to fall as we drove home in silence.

It has been over two month since Sean left to live with his parents in Wasega and, to my surprise, Jay had kept his promise. So for these eight and a half weeks Jay has been by my side, and of course I was there for him as well. When I thought I would revert back to cutting, I would simply pick up the phone and there Jay was to help me through my spell of depression. When I failed a test and I knew there were bills to pay, he is the one who calmed me. Or if I felt alone and just needed someone to watch a movie with, he would always be there.

And, as I said before, I was there for him. When he fought with Alex, when he father would, I hate to say, rough him up, when things at home didn't come close to perfect, and when he and Alex's relationships came crumbling to ruins. I tried to be his shoulder. I guess you could say we needed one another.

The car soon came to a complete stop when we were directly placed in front of my apartment building. Placing my hand on the door handle, I slowly looked back biting at my bottom lip.

"Thanks for today." He slipped out, breaking the silence.

I smiled slightly before answering. "Did you wanna hang out for a few hours, watch a movie, order a pizza?"

He gripped the top of the steering wheel with his right hand. "I can't, my mom's home. I gotta be there." He looked towards me with a sincerity in his eyes. "For her."

I nodded, not needing to hear anymore. I then quietly slipped out of the car and slowly walked to my apartment door. I fumbled with my keys finally finding the right one and twisting it into the keyhole. As I swung the door open I took in the sight, clothes thrown here and there, papers and books spread out on the couch and coffee table and Bouler's empty cage of in the corner. I sighed turning into the kitchen, to see a red light blinking on the answering machine. Dropping my black school bag onto the table, I pressed the flashing button curiously.

"This is the landlord, David Chucks, calling on your final warning. You are overdue by two weeks and if--" I cut the older man's gruff voice, by clicking off the machine. I knew I still haven't paid my bills and frankly wasn't sure when I would be able to. Other than the fact that Sean's student welfare pays for me to live here, I have no other source of income.

I cracked open the fridge only to see a near empty box of pizza from three nights ago, and four cans of soda and a can of chicken soup. Sighing again, I shut it's door and creaped into the living room, plopping onto the cluttered couch. After no more than a minute of channel surfing, I flipped the television off and looked over to the rain streaked window. Replaying the last couple of months events in my head, things just seemed to have gotten so simple and all the more complicated at the same time.

Knowing that another second in that house could have caused an emotional break down, I grabbed one of Sean's gray hoodie's and ran outside, wrapping my arms around myself I blinked through the rain. Taking a sharp breath I leaned my body back against the house, allowing droplets to slowly trickle over myself.

I knew I had become lost deep within myself early this year and coming back to the surface was near impossible. All the events, all the struggles I went through actually resulted in me finally finding myself, sure I was a little rough around the edges, but I was my own person. Sean leaving was one of hardest things I've had to go through and one of the most rewarding. He was my safe zone, the person who kept me sheltered. And where that is what seemed to be exactly what I needed, it wasn't. I needed to be faced with my problems and solve them myself, I needed to learn by myself. And now I was learning, everything.

Running a hand through my damp hair, I began to walk along the muddy walk way. I wasn't sure where I was going, but I just kept going. I looked down the street seeing a fairly familiar house, the Michalchuk home. I had somewhat "lost" my friends to those to those people.

Marco, began dating Dylan a year or two ago and ever since then our friendship has slowly disintegrated. I was truly happy that he found someone, but it still hurt that my first love, my best friend, was being slowly taken away and there was not one thing I could do about it.

Then there is Ashley Kerwin, my actual friend at Degrassi. She was a confusing person, never really sure if she would fit in, if people would accept her or if she still wanted what she blatantly pushed away. Over the year, however, she seemed to keep more to herself and didn't really bother with what other people thought as much. As predictable as it was she soon accept Craig back and only began to socialize with him more and more. With Craig, along came his friends, which consisted of all the same people she once had called her crowd. Containing Jimmy Brookes, Hazel Aden, Marco, and Paige Michalchuk. Paige, Hazel and Ash became extremely close with one another, sisters in a sense. And whatever one sister did the others would follow. And even though the brat pack and I had a few kind encounters, they would not be caught hanging around with Ellie Nash, not on their time. So, you can see how the Michalchuk's in a way were a large part in the reason as to why my only two best friends had drifted away.

Then there were times I would wonder, if I had to redo the year over, would it turn out the same. Would Sean still have decided to be my boyfriend. If he never moved to Wasega, would me and Jay be as good of friends as we are now. If I never showed my mother the effect her drinking had on me, would she have still went into rehab. Questions like that always seemed to cloud my thoughts.

I had hardly noticed that I had stumbled upon the street right over from Jay's, until I noticed his house farther down.

You know he really turned out to be a great guy. And I never knew this, but he has to put up with a lot in his home too. His mother leaves for days at a time unexpectedly, his father abuses him, and his sister, who was the only other person who was helping him deal, moved out. He never showed how broken his home really is before, much like how I never allowed one soul to know my mother was a drunk and what I did to myself.

Turning onto Jay's street I saw his house coming closer, five or six houses down. Now I was nearly drenched, even though the downpour had turned into a light drizzle. Slowing my pace, I noticed the door to Jay's house was opened then slammed shut angrily, Jay storming out. I continued to watch as he hopped into his car without driving away, just sitting there. I soon found myself in close contact of his car and ready to open the passenger side door. With a second of brief hesitation, I opened his car door quietly, looking at him. He was slouched over, his right hand gripping to top of the steering wheel and I could almost swear I saw a glistening tear on his cheek.

"Jay?" I spoke in a hushed voice.

He clenched his jaw tighter, keeping his eyes fixated forward, without answering.

I quite unsure what to do, sat myself in the car, gently closing the door.

He remained silent for awhile before he finally spoke. "What are you doing down here?"

I looked down at my hands. "I don't know, I was just walking and this is where I ended up."

"She never came home." He murmured, catching me off guard.

I shot a concerned look his way. I knew what he meant by that far too well. Looking at him carefully, I spoke back. "Did he..." My voice trailed off when he gave one sturdy nod.

Tightening his grip on the steering wheel, he looked down then over to me. "Does your offer for pizza still stand?"

I released my breath slowly, as I nodded.

He then took the keys from his pocket, starting the engine and speeding past his house.