Light That Cigarette
This is about America and Russia's rivalry during the Cold War, which I find extremely sexy at times. This is written for my sister, and I hope she just loves it.
It's basically about Russia lighting America's cigarettes. Just kidding, it's more better than that. Just Cold War issues.
Ivan looked around at the town, it was so loud. Songs where playing constantly and people always held Karaokes. The town was never quiet like back in Russia. Russia was completely different, people where always quiet, lonely, and depressed. Here in the United States it was never quiet and gloomy.
Ivan had come to America to meet his rival, Alfred F. Jones. He looked for Alfred, searching even in trashcans. He probably is hiding from me in fear. Ivan thought.
He looked around some more, then decided to get a drink. The nearby pub was filled with loud, obnoxious Americans. Ivan went to the bar and ordered some vodka, his typical liquor.
While he was drinking, someone approached him. Ivan stopped drinking his vodka and looked at the American, standing right before him. "So, Ivan, I see you have come to America? Why is that?" The American asked. "Oh, nothing Alfred. I just want to see you quiver in fear as my hands go around your neck."
"I'm not intimidated." The American, Alfred, replied. Ivan put his bottle of vodka down on the table and smiled at Alfred. "Why don't you just go back to being a quiet, peaceful American like you were a long time ago."
"What do you mean 'a long time ago'?" Alfred asked. "I mean that you were never starting wars with others or joining them. Only ones with your own country."
"You idiot! I don't start wars with others! I just joined the war." Ivan smirked. "Then why are you in a war with me?"
"For your information, this isn't a war!" Alfred said with attitude. Just to increase the drama, he put his hands on his hips and gave a stare down for a second. "How do you know?" Ivan asked. Alfred felt a little bit of fear. "Um... well, we aren't firing bullets at each other."
"And how do you know that?" Ivan questioned, as if this whole thing was some kind of questionnaire. Alfred feared Ivan would bring out a gun, knowing Ivan's trickery. "Stop asking me questions!" Alfred punched Ivan's face all of a sudden. The whole pub turned to stare.
Ivan rubbed his face, blushing. "You meanie!" He cried, then turned around. Alfred began to laugh. "Now look who's winning. Me! Cause I'm more superior!" Ivan turned back around and punched Alfred's face. "Ouch! That hurt! Don't ever hit me again!"
Ivan nodded, deciding to leave. Alfred wasn't done though, then grabbed Ivan. "Where are you going?" He asked menacingly. "Away from you! You're losing and always will be!" And in a matter of seconds, they began to fight. Ivan pushed Alfred on the ground and began to bite him, the non-sane person he was. The bar manager pulled Ivan off Alfred, who was losing the fight.
"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the pub." Ivan growled at the man. "Go away! Can't you see we are in the middle of a fight?" Some people in th crowd laughed. "Yes, I do, get off him!"
Since the whole town respected Alfred, they all sided with him. Not because he was the richest tycoon living around, but their own nationality. Alfred got off the ground, wiping his tears. "Fine, Ivan, you can win this time, but never again!" Ivan got back to his happy frenzy. "So you're surrendering?"
"Of course not! I'm just... over with this!" Ivan pushed the bar manager out of his way, then left. Alfred looked around the pub at the staring faces, then angrily shouted, "What are you all staring at!? Don't you all know what it means to be rude? No! You don't!"
Alfred stormed out of the pub.