Hurray for Reaping. Woo-hoo.
Reaping day. The day where everyone in Panem has to dress up nice to watch names being picked out of a bowl for a game where kids fight to the death.
Seriously, Capitol? You guys could be using that money to fix all the world's problems! Feed everyone, get them clean water, build homes. But you rather kids fight to the death.
Are you seriously serious?
But before we head out to the Justice Building, I go hunting with Gale in the woods, even though it's against the law. The Peacekeepers don't do anything about it, so I guess it's OK.
As I prance through the meadow, I listen for any buzzes of electricity from the fence. I hear squat nothin', so I shimmy my fat butt through the tiny hole in the beneath the fence(No matter what anyone says, I'm SO FAT!) and make a mad dash for the log where my bow and arrows are. The second I have them in my hands, I hold them to my chest, muttering "My precious…my precious…"
I can't stand here forever. I gotta go find that hot hunk of Gale!
Leaping over logs with the grace of a gazelle, I run through the woods trying to locate my boy friend(who I wish was my boyfriend.) "La la la la la…la la..."
"Kitty Kat!" calls Gale from the top of a tree. "Y u no on ground, silly?"
"I dunno. Want bread?" He threw a loaf at me.
"Yum yum FOOD! KATNISS HUNGRY!" I screamed before shoving the whole loaf in my face and swallowing it. I wiped crumbs off my face. "Ummm…I was going to share that with you! What the heck, Katniss!"
Who can blame me? I live in District 12! I never have enough to eat. Geez, chill out…
"What? I did nothin'!"
"You know what? I'm gonna go home and get ready for the reaping. I'll see you later."
"Fine! Be a bad word!"
Muttering a few choice words under my breath, I put my stuff back, kissed it goodbye, and went home.
When I got home, my younger sister, Prim, was running in circles with her hands in the air screaming "The reaping is coming! The reaping is coming!" To shut her up, I grabbed her and slapped her in the face. "SHUT UP!"
"OK…"
I went to the bathroom to wash off the dirt that comes with hunting in the woods. If we didn't live in District 12, we wouldn't be so poor, I wouldn't have to hunt for food, so I wouldn't be so filthy! Why can't we live in District 1 or something? Makes life ALOT easier.
After I was rid of my filth, I got dressed in the dress and shoes that Mom left on my bed and tried to do my hair. But it's not easy to do a fancy braid yourself, so I kept screwing up.
"Mommy! Help me with my hair!"
"Leave it down or something! I don't have time! Your sister won't SHUT UP! PRIMROSE EVERDEEN! Stop it! You won't get picked, alright!"
You could say I have a very peaceful home-not.
Eventually, we leave for the Square. There is mass chaos as 12-year-olds cling to their mommies and 18-year-olds fist pump because it's their last year and they might not get picked if they made it this far. I calmly walk to the 16-year-old female's side and wait patiently. Prim is clinging to mom like she'll fall to her death if she lets go.
Finally, after a boring speech from the mayor, the creepy Capitol lady, Effie Trinket, comes up to say what an honor it is to represent District 12, blah, blah, then finally ends with "Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be ever in your favor!"
"Well, ladies first." She reaches into the glass ball containing slips of paper containing the names of all the twelve- to eighteen-year-old females in District 12, then walks back to the microphone, unfolding the paper.
"Oh, this one's tough." She clears her throat.
"Primary Everlast. Nope, that's not right. Ok, let me try again."
Silence. Is this lady nuts?
"Primer Evergreen, no, that's not it either. This is, really complicated, I apologize."
It's official. She's mad.
I'm thinking "Seriously? What. The. Firetruck. GET THIS OVER WITH!"
"Pillow Elderflower…no? I didn't think it was right either. This is a hard name…why can't we go back to the times when children were named Jan? Or Mary?"
I don't have time for this.
"One more time…Polly Pocket!"
Oh my God. You have to be kidding.
"Let's get this over with. I volunteer!" I shout.
Effie looks at me and says "Yes, dear, come on up. Thank you for volunteering, you'll be dead in a matter of days, anyway."
Once I'm onstage and tell her my name, she moves on to the boys' bowl and selects a victim.
"Hopefully, this won't be such a hard name…Peter Maceroni!"
You could hear a pin drop. Are you kidding?
"Patroneum Mulberry? No?"
"Panto-you know what, ****! How about the last person to touch their nose gets killed?"
All the boys touch their nose, and a ugly kid named Peeta, who has a disgusting crush on me, touches it last and come on up.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I present our two tributes! Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark! Well, we'll never see you two again! Happy Hunger Games, and my the odds be ever in your favor!"
All right. Goodbye, world.