Title – Where he belongs

Author: Ceindreadh
Permission to archive:
Genre: post ep
Characters: Deeks, Hetty

Rating: T
Summary: post ep to The Debt - just over a year with NCIS and all Deeks had to show for it had been packed into a single box

Warnings: none

Spoilers: Up to and including S3 ep 10, The Debt

Disclaimer. I don't own the NCIS LA characters, I'm only borrowing them, no copyright infringement is intended.

Deeks was alone as he unpacked his box at his desk. Kensi had left earlier, citing a pressing engagement to 'wash her hair'. Deeks wisely refrained from making any comment as to whether it needed washing or not, knowing he was on thin ice…but also knowing that there were sure to be plenty more opportunities to tease her. Callen and Sam had also left, but not before Callen had suggested going out for drinks. "We can drink to your being 'fired' as well as your reinstatement," he had said as he pulled on a jacket.

"Sort of 'commiserations' and 'congratulations' then?" Deeks had said.

"Sure," Sam had said, before adding, "But not necessarily in that order."

Deeks had laughed, even as he'd declined their offer. "Another time. I need to tidy up my things before Hetty fires me for real!" It had only been half an excuse. A part of Deeks had wanted to put his things back on his desk, back in his locker, back where they belonged as quickly as possible, for fear that he'd open his eyes and discover that the events of the day had played out for real and hadn't been just an elaborate undercover op.

Even though Deeks had known all along that this box would be unpacked, and hopefully sooner rather than later, it had still felt all too real as he had been clearing out his meager belongings. Just over a year in the place, and all he had had to show for it had been packed into a single box. Deeks shuddered slightly as he tipped the last few items out. Hard to believe that it had only been that morning when he had left, ostensibly for good. But then, the day had been quite a rollercoaster ride. The shooting, although it had all been planned in detail, had shaken Deeks more than he had expected, or would have admitted to anybody.

What he'd said to Bates about not regretting it, that *had* been true. In the same situation, seeing a bully attacking a helpless victim, Deeks knew that he would have had no choice but to intervene, no matter what the cost to himself or his career.

He'd meant what he'd told Kensi earlier. Knowing when not to pull the trigger, that was the only thing that separated him from being just another thug with a gun…just another man like his father. That had been one of his constant fears from the first day he'd been given a gun and the authority to use it. Granted, his father had never worn a badge, but at the end of the day, you were just as dead regardless of who had pulled the trigger.

"Mr. Deeks, are you still here?"

Deeks nearly dropped the box as Hetty's voice echoed around the room. "You know, you could give a guy a warning when you're about to do that whole tea-sipping ninja bit," he said as he tried to recover his composure.

"But where would be the fun in that?" Hetty replied. "But speaking of 'tea', would you care for a cup. I have a new blend that needs to be brewed."

"Thanks, Hetty," said Deeks, shoving the last of his belongings into the drawer. "But I think I'll just go home, have an early night. It's been a long day." He could practically feel Hetty's gaze on him and he glanced up, "What? I just don't feel like company right now."

"Which is precisely why you need it," said Hetty, her tone of voice brooking no argument.

Before Deeks could even think up a good excuse, he found himself led to Hetty's office and sitting down opposite her as she carefully brewed the tea. He had to admit that it was a relief to be able to sit down and relax, knowing that this was one place where he was safe, where all of his masks could be shed.

"I would have fought for you, Mr. Deeks," said Hetty as Deeks took his first sip of tea. She waited until he made eye contact with her before continuing. "If the situation today had played out for real, I would *not* have let you go without putting up a good fight."

"What if I wanted to leave?" Deeks asked quietly.

"If some day, you decide of your own volition that N.C.I.S. is no longer where you belong, well, then I would not stand in your way. But you should know that you be greatly missed."

"I think I'd miss you guys too." Deeks took another sip of the tea, both hands cradling the delicate china as if it was a lifeline. "Ah, I could have done with this earlier today," he said, the warmth of the tea soothing nerves that had been highly strung for far too long.

"Well if you will insist on climbing out of twelfth storey windows, you could do worse than to drink a cup of tea to steady yourself."

Deeks almost dropped the cup in shock, "How did…no, never mind." He grinned at Hetty, "One day I'm gonna find out just how you always seem to know everything that's going on."

Hetty just smiled at him as she sipped from her cup.

The end