A/N: I have no idea where this came from or if I truly like all of it, but here it is. I suppose I've been having to spend so much of my days biting my tongue (teacher) that I really felt like being inappropriate. And what says inappropriate like a little Spam?

Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly.

A Small Crime


It's raining, and he really wants to kiss her.

The weather doesn't actually have anything to do with wanting to kiss her. In fact, this feeling of wanting to kiss her isn't even the least bit new (and he's well aware of that).

He steals another glance at her from across his living room. She's over hanging out with his sister in front of their TV. She's always there, and she's always with his sister-after all, his little sister is her best friend.

That's right, his little sister. His sister who is not only a whole decade younger than him (as is said best friend he wants to kiss) but to whom he is also guardian to with their mother having passed away and the fact that their father's career choice keeps him away more than it keeps him there. But they were alright, he had been about to start law school, but he dropped out and took care of his sister instead. It was a good thing too considering he hated school and was much happier than he ever had been as a semi-successful artist.

He was a good guy. He stepped up, grew up (mostly), and took care of everything when his and his sister's world was falling apart. He was noble.

He heard her uproarious laughter and he couldn't help but glance at her again. She caught his stare and smiled at him before turning her attention back to her friend (his little sister!).

She's ten years younger than him, she's his younger sister's best friend, she's a small crime, and he really wants to kiss her.

Here's something you should know: He realizes he's going to hell for this. But most of the time, like now when she's there and he wants to kiss her, he's pretty sure he's already there.

-o-o-o-

She's eighteen and he's very aware of that.

It was like a switch flicked in his mind on her eighteenth birthday three months ago and suddenly he noticed her. She was all the right curves and long blonde hair and was as (im)mature as he was and laughed at all the same things as he did.

For a while he tried to attribute his sudden attraction to her to the fact that he had been going through quite the dry spell. But he'd date women his age and it just didn't go anywhere. They were all two (three, four, five) years away from being thirty and desperate to settle down and be "grown-ups." He was happy with his loft apartment in the city, his casual job, and as much fun as he could possibly squeeze in ranging from dropping water balloons on strangers from his window or playing laser tag. There was nothing that any of the women his age liked about him and there was nothing he liked about them.

She played laser tag with him whenever she caught him going and the water balloons were initially her idea.

She's eighteen, which makes being attracted to her okay (sort of) and it makes the fact that he thinks she's the girl he'd want to be married to something that they could actually follow through on (sort of).

She's eighteen, which means that the fact that he wants her in every way is absolutely acceptable (sort of).

It's the (sort of) that's the huge problem and the reason why he does nothing always.

Here's something you should know: He didn't want this. He wanted to meet a nice woman his age, get married eventually (maybe), have kids (probably). But since she's been eighteen, he wants to kiss her (now), he wants to marry her (soon), and he wants to have kids with her (definitely).

-o-o-o-

He finds himself in the perfect (worst) situation.

In a bar. Slightly tipsy. After midnight. And, she's suddenly appeared.

Her breath smelt like courage (or alcohol). She leaned in and whispered, "We should get out of here."

It was like he was living out one of his dreams, the kind he felt guilty about when he woke up. He wasn't going to wake up from this though. This, he was going to have to deal with.

There were two choices here. One: he could agree with her, leave with her, and find out what happens when fantasy becomes reality (it'll end up being a nightmare-he knows). Two: he could do the right thing, tell her she's had too much to drink, act amused at her "drunken" suggestion and get her a cab to take her home (he knows that if he does it himself he's just asking for something bad to happen).

In his pondering he tumbles into unheard of option three. He's standing still, she's still leaning in; he's staring and smiling softly. (This is off script for him. He was supposed to go with option two because he was convinced he was cast as "the good guy." But she changed her lines first when she whispered in his ear. Now, they might as well throw the script out the window.)

His lack of negative response prompts her to smile at him and take his hand. She leads him out the door and into a cab.

He lets her.

They both know Carly's at her grandfather's for the weekend (one last time before she leaves for college).

Still, as they ride up in the elevator to his apartment he tried to re-capture his role as the virtuous guy.

"You know Carly doesn't mind when you crash in her room when she's not here, but make sure you call your mom this time, let her know where you are. I really don't want her calling all panicked at four in the morning asking me if I've seen you…again."

"I told her before I left that I was planning to stay with you," she said impishly.

He's hallucinating. He has to be (or he had too many shots of tequila earlier). She couldn't have possibly just implied that she made the decision to make her suggestive suggestion sober. The world would be far too cruel if it let the girl he was (inappropriately) pinning after want him in return (even if it was just for one night) and him-convinced his character's all that is noble- having to act like she's not offering him everything he wants.

He tries to unlock the door like he's positive that they're only going to go in to watch TV.

Here's something you should know: He knows the noble guy opens the door, tells her goodnight, and goes straight to his bedroom alone, locking the door behind him. And he wonders if he'd regret it if he wasn't that guy just for this one night.

-o-o-o-

She knows he doesn't believe she's in her right mind, but she is.

She knew always being the rebel would get her into trouble eventually. She just didn't know it'd concern her love life.

Who was the worst person she could be interested in? The one that would cause the most trouble for her to be with? A guy who's a decade older than her and her best friend's brother/guardian of course.

And honestly this-the development of attraction to and feelings for her best friend's older brother- was one of the times she considered not just doing whatever she wanted and saying screw 'em to anyone who disagreed. She considered that maybe this time she simply had to ignore her urge to do something dangerous. And for a while, she did. She watched him but didn't ogle. She laughed at his jokes, but not too much. But eventually she couldn't help herself and she found herself hanging out with him alone sometimes in a dark laser tag arcade.

She follows him into the apartment, flops down on the couch, and turns on the TV like all she's hoping will happen tonight is that she'll get to crash.

He goes to the kitchen, stalls, and finally grabs some food, which he sets in the middle of the coffee table between them and sits on the other side of the couch.

She thinks back to how they got to this place. She thinks she started seeing him as something more than simply her best friends' older brother when he clearly started seeing her as more than just his little sister's trouble-making best friend.

It was a week to her eighteenth birthday and she was telling her best friend the reason for her latest break up. In the midst's of the conversation Spencer had walked in and heard her talking about her sex life-which he hadn't been aware she had.

Carly had left and they had what had started as a very awkward conversation, but what turned into a very honest conversation about their relationship histories. She thinks that it was a conversation an older brother would never have with a younger sister and therefore established that he absolutely didn't see her in the same way as his sister. Also, she thinks that the conversation made him realize she's a woman, that she could be his woman, if he was willing.

Here's something you should know: She's right. That one-time conversation made both of them realize that the other was a potential partner. Yet, the building intense attraction, the feelings that went beyond infatuation or a crush, and the undeniable drive to do something about the attraction and feelings developed naturally. Because they weren't meant to be brother and sister or friends; they were meant to be something more. Maybe.

-o-o-o-

They watched TV for an hour and a half in complete silence- frozen to their opposite sides of the couch.

Finally, Sam tired of waiting- after all, she never had been that patient. She got up, walked to Spencer's side of the couch, and sat down on top of him, straddling his waist (she never was subtle either).

Spencer's eyes widened, he pushed his back as far back against the couch as he could, and sat stalk still. He fought the urge to shove her off of him. (He fought the urge to pull her closer.)

She put her hands on his shoulders, looked him straight in the eye, and asked, "Are you ready to stop pretending yet?"

He began to breath again. He reached up, entranced, and gently brushed some hair off of her face. He sighed.

Here's how it ends (or begins): Maybe he does something. Maybe he doesn't. Either way, after tonight, everything is different.

A/N: Please review if you feel so compelled (and please feel compelled to do so:)

Thank you for reading.

Sincerely,

Sarah