A/N: A little AU—An alternate way of Luke and Lorelai reconciling after their season 5 break-up.
Lorelai knocked furiously on the diner door. The rain fell outside like a deluge, soaking her hair and clothes, and pooling around her feet. Her decision to come here had been so sudden that she had forgotten to put a coat on on her way out the door.
Frigid drops of water numbed her face, and steam billowed out of her mouth as she shouted his name.
"Luke!"
The sound of her voice was swallowed by the slapping noise of raindrops on the sidewalks, on the buildings, and on the roofs of cars.
It had been fourteen days since she'd last seen him. Since she promised to let him be and respect his decision. Those two weeks were far more than enough thinking time to make her realize that he was the man she loved—the only man she would ever love this way again, and if she let him slip through her fingers, well, she'd be a crazy woman. So there she stood, dripping in the freezing cold rain, staring at the "CLOSED" sign on his door as she banged on it and yelled his name.
Her voice was hoarse—from crying herself to sleep every night, and from further making it raw by calling out his name now in the darkness.
Suddenly, she saw movement inside. A light turned on, and it was like a little flame of hope being revived inside of her. She could feel it in her chest—a warmth, a lump in her throat as she watched the man she loves open the door to her and usher her in out of the cold.
"Jeez, Lorelai. You're soaked and it's freezing out there."
One listen to the concern in his voice, and the flame of hope inside her grew larger. There was a pleasant burning in her chest now, and it gave her strength to say what she came here to say.
"Luke… can we talk?"
He looked at her as if he was trying to decide, and she felt, now, as if the little flame was doused in the water dripping off of her body.
He finally spoke slowly, "sure, but we have to get you out of those wet clothes first."
At any other time, she would have smirked at that and given it a well-deserved dirty! But she nodded instead, letting him lead her up the stairs, wishing he would take her clothes off of her and warm her up with his hands, his arms, his whole body. She wanted to climb into bed with him and pull the covers over their heads and curl her body into his, feeling him fully wrapped around her. She wanted to stay that way until next week, until things returned to normal again, until they told each other they loved each other and that they'd never leave each other again.
But they reached his apartment and she watched as he pulled an old pair of sweatpants and the flannel she still thought of as hers out of a drawer and handed them to her, telling her there was a towel in the bathroom for her, and that he'd be in the kitchen, waiting to talk when she was ready.
As she took the clothes from him and felt the familiar softness of the flannel for the first time in what felt like and eternity, her eyes sparkled with tears, and out of embarrassment, she ducked her head, nodded slightly, and turned to the bathroom to change.
When she emerged, Luke was making coffee, its aroma filing the room, and Lorelai felt soothed. This could work.
She leaned her hip on the edge of the counter and wrapped her arms around herself. She still felt a chill, but she reveled in the comfort of Luke's soft clothes wrapped around her.
"So…"
"So…"
"I miss you," she finally said, softly. "So much," she added, looking at the floor.
Luke didn't say anything.
Lorelai shifted uncomfortably, no longer leaning against the counter.
The clock ticked.
The coffeemaker percolated.
And then Luke was in front of her, so close. "You're still cold. You're shivering," he murmured, and then she watched his hands reach out to her, his fingers unbuttoning the flannel she was wearing, from top to bottom. His forehead almost touched hers as he watched his own hands at work.
"Luke…" she protested weakly.
He was silent still, unbuttoning the thing that was keeping in the warmth, and she was baffled. But she didn't stop him. When the shirt was fully unbuttoned, he slipped his warm hands in and slid them around her waist, holding her there for a moment, thumbs caressing her skin. The flame inside of her instantly was relit, and she felt heat course through her in that same moment.
Then he slid his arms completely around her, underneath the shirt, drawing her close to him, his arms angled up her back. He was so warm, and so soft, and she'd missed his touch so much, she was afraid that the sob presently caught in her throat would forcefully make its way out.
She squeezed her eyes shut and sighed, taking a moment to marvel at the fact that all she had to do was tell him she missed him, and then she was in his arms again. In the next moment, she was pushing worries out of her mind that maybe this was a one-time thing.
She was nuzzling his neck and gripping at him desperately, drowning those fears in his scent, and in the way he was making her feel. Hot tears fell down her face. She'd almost completely surrendered to him and the emotions being exchanged between them.
This was something she doesn't do. She doesn't cry in front of anyone, she doesn't let people see her like this. But feeling him again like this just broke her down.
One of his hands came up to thumb away the constant flow of her tears. She got a look at his face then and saw his chin quivering. She'd never seen Luke so close to tears before. She wondered, then, if he'd cried after they broke up. She wondered if he lay in bed like she did, unable to move, just able to hug a pillow, bury himself down into the blankets and cry himself to sleep, just like she did.
"I'm so sorry, Luke… I need you... I love you, Luke…"
His lips fluttered across hers then; sprinkling soft, gentle kisses on her lips and face until her sobs were reduced to occasional whimpers. She could taste the saltiness on his lips, and she didn't know if they were his tears, or her own. Maybe a mingling of both.
She needed more now, and soon her tongue was teasing at his lips, asking for entrance. He opened his mouth to her and their kiss was deep and emotional and healing.
Luke managed to push the flannel off of her shoulders where it fluttered to the floor in a heap. Soon, al clothes were removed, and they tumbled into bed together. Luke slid his body over hers, propped up on his elbows, and cradled her head in one hand, tangling his fingers in her still-damp hair, and the other hand was joined with hers on the bed near her head, fingers entwined together. They made love slowly and gently, saying I love you and I'm sorry with actions and words. They held each other's gaze the whole time in between deep kisses. And when the occasional tear slipped from Lorelai's eyes, Luke bent his head forward to kiss it away.
Afterwards, they faced each other in bed, held each other close, and drifted off to sleep.
Lorelai awoke some time later to an empty bed. She sat up, confused for a moment about where she was, and realizing she was at Luke's, relief entered her body again, followed closely by pure happiness. She searched the room for Luke and saw him standing at the window, looking out onto the town. She got out of bed, wrapped herself in her flannel, and padded over to him.
"What's up?" she whispered
He didn't answer.
"Hey…"
"I don't know if I can do this."
"Do what?" she heard her own voice become shaky in an instant, and she didn't know if she could remain standing.
"Us. I just… don't know if I can be what you need. I'm no good at relationships. I'm going to screw this up again, and I can't do that to you again, I saw you before. How much I had hurt you." His gaze remained fixed somewhere out the window on the town square. His voice sounded so cold.
Lorelai sputtered. Her heart was beating so hard, she wondered if Luke could hear it too. She should have listened to herself earlier when she first found herself in his arms, should have questioned him whether this was a one-time thing before they had gone too far.
"No. You're not doing this, Luke."
"Lorelai, just… go home. I need time to think."
Lorelai jumped awake, her eyes flying open. Instantly, she was crying again. When she realized that Luke was still holding her, still sleeping in her own arms, she tried to quiet her sobs. She didn't want to wake him. But her whole body shook with sobs and she couldn't help it, and soon, she felt him shifting, felt him awaken and tighten his arms around her, rubbing a hand soothingly up and down her back.
"I had a dream that I woke up, and you'd changed your mind. You said you couldn't be with me," she cried into his chest.
He hugged her close, murmuring words of love into her ear, soothing her, reassuring her, telling her that he'd never leave her again, that they'd never be apart again.
Despite everything they'd been through, she knew it was true.
THE END