AN: I wrote this at midnight, fueled on cold pizza, room temperature water, sweat, and The Fault in Our Stars playing in the background. Don't judge me.

Disclaimer: I am not John Green or Andrew Hussie, so I do not own The Fault in Our Stars or Homestuck. Give their brilliant minds the credit, not me.

Maybe, just maybe, if life were fair, I would be able to have a perfect love story. I would be able to be carefree. I would be happy.

But life is not fair.

My name is Kankri Vantas, and as much as I wish this could be a happy story, it isn't. So if you were looking for a story with a cheerful or sweet or fake "happily ever after" ending, this is not it. This is reality, and reality hurts.

It hurts. A lot more than I can describe. Life is an 11 on the 1-10 pain scale. No matter how saintly or sinful you are, life is going to screw you over. Big time. Life always screws everyone. And you can't choose how it screws you over.

However, you can choose WHO in life screws you over. I didn't think you could choose who, but I found out.

I didn't mean to find it out.

But I did.

And it hurt. But I loved it.

It was December of my wonderful nineteenth year of life on God's Green Earth. And by wonderful, I am being sarcastic.

I don't mean that I have an awful family or lived in the streets. By all means, for an ordinary kid, it was great. My dad is a priest at our local church and my brother cares for me more than he cares for himself. We had a great home, and we still do. There's enough food to eat and we all love each other. It's a dream life.

Except for my cancer.

Let me tell you something about cancer: it SUCKS.

It's not cute, or painless, or something you get over with quickly. It's horrible and painful and expensive and takes too long to cure. It's a mutation. And it's DISGUSTING.
I am a mutant. And I am a freak. I am a mistake, and not meant to breathe.

And I really cannot breathe too well. You know, cancer. In my lungs. Sucking away my life. The adenocarcinoma is slowly killing me. But life is slowly killing everyone. I'm just dying at a faster rate than other people.

Anyways, it's pretty annoying. But besides that, I am somewhat normal.

I love singing in the church choir, sleeping in on weekends (and weekdays when I don't have school and weekdays when I do have school and every day), eating cold pizza at random times, the color red, hanging out with my friends, music, and reading. See? A normal teenager, by all standards.

Most standards, anyways.

Besides the adenocarcinoma.

And that stupid, stupid support group.

And... HIM. The cutest, stupidest, happiest person I've had the pleasure of meeting. And I fell. I fell so hard I couldn't get back up again. I fell headfirst into it.

It was the worst decision I've ever made.

It was also the best.

As I view it, all the best things in life cause you the most pain. Or at least most of them do. Like when you are absolutely, positively in love with someone, as I was with him.

First thing's first: I am the son of a priest.

Secondly, I am NOT straight.

Third of all, I am NOT going to Hell.

Next, my father still accepts me.

Lastly, don't ask me what my sexuality is. I don't like labeling it. I just sort of like guys and maybe girls but not really that much.

I have read the Bible cover to cover, and its teachings are permanently etched into my brain. It mentions eating shrimp is a sin more often than it mentions liking someone of the same gender as you is a sin. Take that as you will, but if I end up in Hell, it's going to be because I eat shrimp. And heck, I'm not going to willingly give up seafood for a guaranteed ticket to heaven. That would be absolute poppycock.

Now back to our story, yes?

I met him on... wait. I feel like I should get more into this before I spew out details on our story. This is my side of our story, not his. And I will tell it how I want to tell it.

So here I go. Here is the entirely reckless story of us. Our story. And it was a totally insane affair. But it was the most alive I had felt since I got diagnosed. And this is how it goes.