Disclaimer: Don´t own. Never did, never will.
Warnings: Angst galore, character death, really confusing interruptions.
Background: Established Slade/Robin relationship.
A/N: I´ve recently experienced myself the speed that a recently dead person loses body warmth, also English is not my mother language, if there's any mistakes please feel free to point them, oh and feel free to review as well.

The show must go on

The rain fell heavily over his head, the sound of the rain drops making a constant background noise, and he couldn't but think that even the fucking weather didn't seem to be on his side this time (the mission had lasted a little longer than it should). Now the only thing he wanted was to return to were his little bird was waiting for him in his golden cage (if a confinement to the city limits could be considered a reward or not wasn't a point he was open to discuss) and find out the reason for the almost civil behavior displayed by Robin before Slade went to said mission (A hug and a kiss so tender that he left the room speechless) Could it be that his little bird had finally seen reason?.

(An almost dire premonition and a full out shiver, echoed by the storm outside)

A letter had arrived just now from his hideout in Jump city (Robin) and a crushing sense of foreboding (a deep grounded and never really buried fear) had wrapped around his heart.

Slade:

I´m sure you´re asking why the heck I would send a letter to you if you're in a mission, but the truth is that I'm a coward.

I know you've been a little weirded out by my behavior these last months, and no, I'm not planning anything to try to kill you or sic the new Titans/JL on you again (even if I have become selfish to this point I'm still not comfortable with sending my former team and friends to a certain death) it's just that… after all that has happened I've come to understand you maybe a little bit too much.

Why the damned car wouldn't go faster?

I know the reason as to why you did most of the things you did (death threats to my friends, blackmailing me to stay with you and so on) and I know that any feelings that you may have for me, or I have for you, weren't there in the beginning of our arrangement.

And the last statement takes us to the point of this letter.

I've come to realize that I love you.

When did this happen? (Why didn't I realize!?).

To the point where my morals clash completely with my feelings, I've tried, really tried, to find a middle ground, but this has proved to be one impossible task for me.

I know that even if I wished it with all my might, you wouldn't change the part that makes you take or do what you want without feeling remorse for the consequences of your actions if these were to harm anyone else.

It's just not in you to change that.

And I've concluded that it's not in me either.

It seems that the young man did know him too well (or not at all).

So, finding myself in the situation where I can't be completely with you, or fight you with all I have (averting my gaze was never an option, it would've been against my own nature to do nothing) I've decided on the one thing that would resolve this problem.

I'll remove myself from the equation.

Did the lift always take this long to reach the top floor?

I'm sure that, in the future, you'll be able to find the person who will be able to accept all the things that make you the man you are, or maybe, the change that I know it's impossible to happen in my own lifetime will take place in a more distant future.

The rustle of the letter falling to the floor.

A haunting vision.

I know you can wait (or not) for that, after all, what are a mere fifty or one hundred years in the life of someone who is not able to die?

The warmth left the limp body at a frightening speed.

The heart wouldn´t beat.

The lungs wouldn't take the air desperately shoved inside them.

His eyes. wouldn't. open.

The silent plea went unanswered.

I'm really selfish, aren't I?

But I refuse to live like this anymore.

I'm sorry Slade, for all the things that I couldn't give you, and I forgive you for those things you couldn't give me.

I love you.

-I´m sorry sir, there's nothing else to do. He was already dead when you brought him-.

A muted heart wrenching sob that died in his throat.

.

.

.

And the rain wouldn´t stop falling.