One -shot based on "Artichoke's Heart" by Suzanne Supplee.

It will make more sense if you've read the book.

I was getting ready to go to the gym with Kay-Kay for our weekly and sometimes daily - I really hated those days - afternoon workout when something caught the corner of my eyes.

I finished peeling off my oatmeal face-mask quickly, then hurriedly dried my face. I could still feel little, hard bits of oatmeal still stuck on my face, but I just brushed them off my face the best I could while walking to the treadmill in the corner of my room.

The green thing I saw was buried deep underneath it so I pushed and pushed at the heavy contraption - thankfully I could thanks to Kay-Kay forcing me to lift weights at the gym - until it uncovered the object.

My breath halted in my throat and I let out a choked, "No."

Slowly, carefully, I picked up the avocado-green jacket that I hadn't seen in ages using my forefinger and thumb as if it'd burn me.

'Who knows, it could,' I thought dryly. 'It's already ruined my life once before.'

I set the Insulator jacket on the treadmill, bile rising up my throat at the sight and the memories it came with. I could faintly hear people in my head going, "Artichoke! Artichoke!"

God, I hated this thing.

Even at 130 pounds and with a boyfriend, this stupid thing could reduce my newly-found self-esteem to a little microscopic cell.

I still remember the day I got it. I had wanted it in berry-pink, but my mother could barely afford it, but when she did buy it, the only color left was an ugly, nasty, avocado-green. Goddamn, if only L. L. Bean hadn't run out of the right color...

"God, I wish I could burn this thing," I said out loud, actually considering the crazy idea for a moment before ruling it out. We didn't have a fireplace in the house or else I'd probably have done it. The light from my window spilled across the fabric, making the sickly color even brighter and making me want to puke even more.

"Rosie!" My mother yelled up the stairs. "Kay-Kay's here!"

Without another thought, I picked up my tote and shoved the Insulator in it. Kay-Kay was chatting amiably with the at the door. As usual, the tall blonde looked amazing in running shorts and a blue sports bra. Her pony-tailed hair swung back and forth as she talked expressively about the Ab Cruncher her and her dad have been using together. My mother was smiling along as Kay-Kay went on. She was wearing a short wig today, having lost all her hair due to her cancer.

I ran down the stairs quickly, smiling when they didn't creak as loudly as they used to. "Hey, Kay-Kay."

"Rosie! You're late!" She turned to me, giving a confused look at my tote. We usually showered when we got home after the gym so we only needed to take ourselves.

I gave her a pointed look before giving my mom a kiss and goodbye. We made it all the way to her house until she finally said, "What's in the bag?"

I shushed her and motioned her to open her front door, pushing her inside when she did so. "Okay, what the hell? We're going to be even more late!" Kay-Kay said, annoyed.

I just rolled my eyes at her dramatics. If she put as much effort into school that she did into working out, she'd be a better student than me - and that was saying something. I pulled out the hideous jacket silently.

She could easily see it was several sizes too big and could've mistaken it for someone else's, but she didn't. All she said was, "What's that?"

"It's my nightmare," I said in disgust. "This thing ruined my life. You know why everyone called me 'Artichoke?'"

"No."

"This thing is the reason why."

Kay-Kay stared at me thoughtfully, not saying anything or asking any questions. She just stared.

And than she finally said, "Give it."

I handed her the jacket wordlessly. She surveyed it thoroughly, judging every stitch and crease. "You wanna get rid of it?"

I shrugged. "Yeah."

She smiled a little at me before pushing me to up to her room. I didn't argue, at least not until she pulled out the scissors.

"We'll be late for the gym," I reminded her. I hoped she'd ignore my warning and let me tear the cloth up to bits and pieces, but I knew how Kay-Kay was about staying fit.

"Shut up, Rosie," she replied good-naturedly. "Even I know when things are more important than going for a run or listing weights. And this is definitely important."

Without another word she handed me one of the two scissors. They jacket was hanging on a hanger now, displayed on her bedroom door. We stared at it a while until she prodded at me to start with it.

I went mad.

I jumped at the atrocity like a madman, cutting and ripping, shredding anything and anywhere I could my hands. Kay-Kay was right behind me, snipping at the offender here and there, but mostly leaving me to it - knowing how important this was to me.

Twenty minutes later all that was left of it were little threads and bits of fabric.

Maybe it was some sort of symbolism. Y'know, me cutting myself out of my old image, cutting myself out of my past. Starting over.

I liked to think that was it, but it was mostly anger and embarrassment that drove me to tearing at the thing like a madman. Having gone through so much embarrassment, which resulted in anger, maybe I thought that by tearing it up I would get rid of all those years of torment.

But you know what they say: You learn from the past.

I've learned form my past mistakes, but I'm not done. The Bluebirds aren't done, neither are the NB. They'll be here long after I'm gone. But maybe one day - once I'm out of this town - another thing that'll be left here will be Artichoke.

But, sadly, right now she's still inside me. She's still teaching me.

I'm so fucking sappy.