Life After Infinity

by karma.xo

Hi, I'm Hazel Grace Lancaster, but it's just Hazel to you. My boyfriend, Augustus Waters is no longer suffering from person-hood. Me? Well, I'm just trying to coax my lungs into not sucking at their job, and trying to make Isaac feel better. Him? He's a blind guy I know. He's dealing with a double grievance-his girlfriend, Monica, broke his heart, and there's also Augustus.

1. Chapter 1

Dear Journal,

I hate not being able to see him, feel him. I felt so safe knowing he was alive. He was my everything and now I don't get the simple joy of having him by my side. I'm not sure how I'm going to survive each day. It feels like I've been pushed into my own personal oblivion. He did say oblivion is inevitable though. Sure, I have Isaac, but he's still struggling with getting past his grievance with Monica, on top of Augustus.

It's funny when I really think about it—I mean I never thought I'd really have a boy genuinely like me after I became some side effect of the annoying reality that is death. I've never been in love like the way I love Augustus. Yes, I still love him, and I probably always will. Who knows? Maybe not being a part of humanity is totally insufferable, and Gus is doing well. I don't know. I just know that he's in capital S Somewhere.

Alright, now for the crazy idea that I even have a journal. I never thought I would need one, even though support group didn't do much for me. I honestly think that diaries and journals are a complete and utter waste of time and space. You don't need something tangible to be able to reach your innermost feelings or whatever the hell. Anyway, screw it, I have a journal so either deal with it or take your crap and leave. Please excuse the attitude.

Yours,

Hazel