A/N- Hello, everybody! If you're here you should hate all the characters I do. I personally don't think my ideas are very funny, but here's the first chapter! Enjoy!
Disclamer: I do not own Harry Potter. J. K. Rowling does.
How to Annoy Lord Voldemort
1. Charm him to grow hair all over his body.
2. Turn his Death Eaters against him.
3. Turn all his clothes pink.
4. Put a permanent tattoo that can't be removed by magic of a lightning bolt on his forehead.
5. Crucio him when he's not looking.
6. Call him Moldyshorts.
7. Ask him if he's an albino.
8. Cal him 'that hairless noseless albino guy with a stupid snake and a bunch of insane followers' in public
9. When he kills someone, act like his mommy and spank him.
10. Paralyze him, then kick him in the private part.
11. Summon an invisible rebounding charm around you, then apparate in front of him.
12. On April Fools Day, drop a stinkbomb on his head.
13. Hug him and say he's cute.
14. Give him pink, fuzzy bunny slippers for his birthday.
15. Steal his wand, break it in 3, then stuff 2 bits up his nose and the other bit in his mouth to prop it open, then Impero him so he takes all his clothes off and dances around naked forever with his nose and mouth still like that.
A/N- HAHAHAHAHA! Hope you enjoyed it! I already made a draft of the 2nd chapter, How to Annoy Gilderoy Lockhart so it should be up soon. Please review!