This must be taken with a very large pinch of salt

I'd like to apologize in advance for this madness. My friend Louis claimed I never write anything but yaoi lemons and made it seem like the characters I abuse have nothing in their poor empty lives but sex. This is to prove him wrong…..or maybe right. That's my excuse for Squall, Irvine and Reno all knowing each other, the fact that they are my main victims. Finally, Squall I am so, so sorry.

Of course as always I do not own Squall, Irvine or even Reno, they all belong to Square Enix who probably don't let them go on picnics.

There's more to life than yaoi

The three young men walked in companionable silence towards the shores of the lake. It was early evening and the daylight already had that syrupy thickness only late summer sunlight possesses. The lake had become a disk of beaten bronze and the sound of water lapping against the shoreline was a pleasant background noise.

Irvine pulled the brim of his hat down to shield his eyes from the lakes glare and pushed the strap of his bag higher on his shoulder. Shifting his grip on the picnic hamper he flashed a smile at his two friends who both seemed less than impressed by the scenery. Admittedly Squall always looked sullen and disinterested but even Reno looked bored, then again he was probably suffering withdrawal as he'd been having problems with his dealer recently.

The party neared the lake shore and Irvine flopped to the ground with a contented sigh. Looking distastefully at the dusty ground Squall slipped his jacket from his shoulders and threw the worn leather on the grass, carefully arranging himself on top of it. Reno had no such cares, flopping down on his back and lighting a cigarette, it wasn't as if his suit could get any more crumpled anyway.

Unfazed the cowboy rummaged through the hamper pulling out plates and covered boxes. Setting them out on the grass between them he whistled under his breath, peeling off brightly coloured lids and letting the tasty aroma's waft around. Squall wrinkled his nose in disapproval, 'you did remember I'm a vegan right?' Irvine rolled his eyes but nodded all the same.

'I think I provided an admirable range of tasteless cardboard for you.'

'Whatever'.

Reno pushed himself into a sitting position, blue eyes showing mild interest as he heard the clinking of bottles. 'You didn't bring alcohol did you? You know I'm teetotal.' Squall moaned. His whining was already beginning to get annoying and they'd only been there for several minutes.

'If I hadn't bought alcohol along we'd have to try and entertain Reno and you know what he's like sober'. Said Turk nodded his head sagely, licking his lips as his eyes locked on the bottle of cheap vodka Irvine was waving in his face.

Leaving the red head to drink himself to death the cowboy turned his attention to the food and hungrily tucked in. Pausing moments later he rummaged in the hamper and pulled out a bottle of beer. After several minutes frantic rummaging failed to produce a bottle opener he sighed in exasperation. He turned to Reno, hoping he could persuade the redhead to do his usual party trick of opening bottles with his teeth but at that moment his phone rang.

The Turk flipped open the mobile with a characteristic 'Yo' and Irvine turned away in annoyance. He opened the bag that had been hung over his shoulder and removed his rifle. Checking Exeter was ready he leveled the gun at the bottle he'd stood several feet away and shot the top off. Of course half the bottle also shattered and he was left scrambling around with a cup trying desperately to catch some of the fizzing liquid that was soaking the grass.

'I can't believe you two' sighed Squall, idly picking at his food 'you're all about base pleasures. Alcohol, eating, smoking and sex'.

'Hell yeah!' exclaimed Reno, hand covering the mouthpiece of his phone. 'At least we aren't anorexic'. He turned back to his conversation, ignoring Squalls death glare. Irvine tried to keep from snickering at his friend and instead turned his attention to a squirrel that was making the foolish mistake of nearing the picnic.

Leveling Exeter for a second time he shot the rat like creature, the sound of his shot echoing in the still evening air and rolling across the lake. 'I hate squirrels' he spat before Squall could interrupt him with a tirade about animal rights. Reno stopped the escalating argument with the loud click of his phone snapping shut. 'Rufus or Cloud?' inquired the cowboy.

'Neither' grinned Reno 'my dealer Don Corneo, we're back in business'.

As there was nothing really to be said to that silence descended, broken only by the sloshing of Reno's vodka in its swiftly emptying bottle and the occasional retort of Irvine's gun as yet another squirrel ventured stupidly close, seemingly unperturbed by the growing number of bodies of it brethren. It was Reno who broke the silence after lighting yet another cigarette.

Smoke wreathed his smirking face as he turned to Squall who was busily staring into the middle distance. 'If your so into animal right's n' all, how come you wear leather?' Squall's habitual scowl grew in intensity as he searched for a way of validating himself.

'maybe he's going through that teenage vegan phase, late developer perhaps' mused Irvine with a glint in his purple eyes.

'If you ask me it's too much leather for anyone not into kink'.

With a sigh of exasperation Squall pushed himself to his feet, snatching up his coat and stalking off, Irvine's parting words ringing in his ears. 'He's probably off to listen to emo music and paint his room black'. Sometimes he really wondered why he spent time with those two. Then he remembered the alternative was spending time with Rinoa and it suddenly made sense.

Reno handed the bottle of beer he'd just opened to the cowboy sprawled out beside him, slapping at his neck as yet another bug bit down. 'Damn it! What the hell's up with these stupid bugs? I know I look good enough to eat an all but even still.' Irvine laughed softly, pulling his hat down over his face. Minutes passed by in thick silence. 'Why are we here Irvine, unless you're here on squirrel control or something? Couldn't we have eaten where there's more booze and TV?' He paused 'and less bugs'.

'Don't ask me, it weren't my idea like. Apparently one or the other of us getting off with another man isn't all our lives are about. Apparently there are people out there who'd rather read about us enjoying a nice normal activity. Playing monopoly was the alternative to a picnic and no it wasn't Gabby's version of strip monopoly'. Silence descended again as Reno knocked back the last of his vodka and got to his feet, dusting at his rumpled suit with little success.

'You know what this has served to prove?' questioned the redhead as he turned to leave. Irvine lifted his hat and raised an eyebrow in inquiry. 'That that's complete bullshit' supplied Reno over his shoulder.

Irvine shrugged, he really wasn't going to argue with that.