WARNINGS: Total crack fic.

NOTES: I don't even know where this came from. A longing, perhaps, to have neighborhood kids who want to do useful things instead of wandering the streets in height-impaired packs of sheer boredom.

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Nick hurried up the sidewalk into the house, slamming the door in his haste. "Sorry I'm late," he started as soon as he saw Juliette in the kitchen. "A witness we'd been looking for finally showed up at the station." He opened the cabinet and pulled out his gun safe, punching in the code before he unclipped his holster. The house was going to be invaded in just under two hours, he wasn't taking any chances. "Hank took the interview for me so he might be late getting here to." He finally looked at Juliette, expecting stressed irritation, but she had a stunned expression of amazement instead. "What?"

"The lawn," she said, pointing out the door. There were grocery bags on the counter. She'd only just gotten home as well.

"Damn, did they mess it up? Let me get changed and I'm on it." One of Bud's bowling buddies had two kids looking for odd jobs they could do to earn money for a school trip. Nick had offered to let them mow the jungle that was the back yard. He figured he'd have to touch it up if nothing else, but was hoping the kids could at least knock the height down a few inches.

"No." Juliette grabbed his hand and pulled him through the living room to the back door and out on to the porch. She pointed emphatically. "The lawn."

Nick's jaw dropped. "Oh my God." It was…it was beautiful. He stumbled off the porch onto the little sidewalk. "Oh my God."

"I know!" Juliette said, following him down the stairs. "I'm thinking about moving the baby shower out here."

The White House didn't have lawns this nice. "I'm not sure I should walk on it," Nick said, but took a step onto the grass anyway.

"They trimmed the shrubs," Juliette said, hands clasped under her chin like she was holding in pure giddiness.

"We have shrubs?"

They had shrubs, neatly trimmed into the shape of…. "Are those beavers?"

"I think it is."

"Wow." Nick walked to the middle of the lawn, turning a slow circle to take it all in. The borders actually had edges. That vine that had been taking up more and more of the fence had been tamed into something that looked less like it would attack if you wandered too close. "We have flower beds? How long have we had flower beds?" Tidy, little rock-lined strips along the bottom of the fence, filled with petunias and something with bring red flowers.

"How much did you pay them?" Juliette asked.

"Not nearly enough," Nick said still gazing around the yard, incredulous. "I'm going to have to give them an amazing tip."

"More importantly," Juliette gripped his arm urgently, "we need to find out if they do windows."

The End