Title: Dr. Franken-Mike

Author: vashsunglasses

Rating: K+

Fandom: Ninja Turtles

Disclaimer: The TMNT belong to Mirage. The book "Secrets of Dysfunctional Families" was written by the Friels. What belongs to me is the plot line… and that's pretty much it.

Summary: "Secrets of Dysfunctional Families" One-Shot. Michelangelo as Donatello's Lab Assistant? What is the world coming to?

Important Note: I highly recommend reading my story "Secrets of Dysfunctional Families" before you read this. Otherwise you'll be left scratching your heads, wondering why everything is so strange…

One Month After Splinter Left

Donatello rolled his eyes at his orange clad brother who was currently dragging himself grotesquely around his lab wearing a pillow strapped to his shell as a ersatz hunchback. "Will you stop that, please?" he muttered, rubbing his hand over his green pate.

Mikey's eyes gleamed wickedly as he let his tongue loll out of his mouth, then said in a thick accent, "Stop what, Doctor?"

"I am NOT Dr. Frankenstein!" Donny wailed.

Michelangelo's head popped up, "Then does that mean that I get to be Dr Frankenstein?"

"NO!" Donny snapped. "No one gets to be Dr. Frankenstein!"

Mikey let his tongue loll out of his mouth again and set his face in a grimace.

"And no one gets to be Egor either!" Don grabbed the pillow from his brother's shell, slammed open the lab door, and tossed the pillow across the lair.

"Wow, bro! Nice throw," Mikey said appreciatively as he watched his brother pant with pent up rage. Then he noticed something rather important. "Um, Don?"

"WHAT?" Don roared, turning to face him.

Mike pointed towards the corner table of the lab, "That explosive compound we've been working on looks like it's about to explode."

"Holy SHELL!" Donny cried as he raced across the room and grabbed the beaker with the explosive with tongs, removing it from the heat. The two turtles waited with baited breath until the mixture seemed to stabilize.

"Boy, that was close!" Mikey said cheerfully, "We almost got blown into subatomic particles or maybe something even smaller!"

Don shook his head absently as he gently placed the beaker in an ice solution, "Mikey, I hardly think a simple explosive would break us down into quarks."

"What's a quark?" Mikey asked.

"A quark is a sub-subatomic particle," Don replied sarcastically.

"Ha, ha, dude. Very funny. Now seriously, what's a quark?" Mikey put on his most serious face and put his fists on his hips in order to best express the utter seriousness of his most serious question.

Donatello sighed, "Everything is made up of atoms. Atoms are made of subatomic particles called electrons, protons, and neutrons. Protons are made up of quarks, which are held together by gluon particles… Happy?"

"Ecstatic, dude," Mikey said with a warm smile. He loved it when his brother took the time to explain things to him. "Quarks, huh? Super sensationalistic, bro! Science is awesome."

"Yeah," Donny smiled back, his eyes practically glowing with pride, "Science is pretty cool."

Raph and Leo poked their heads into the room curiously, "We heard a yell," Leo said, "is everything alright?"

Donny gave his older bros a thumbs up, "Everything's fine. It was a false alarm."

Raph looked suspiciously around the room, then asked, "What are you two up to anyway?"

"Well we were having a discussion on the nature of sub subatomic particles before you two rudely interrupted," Mikey said with a placid smile on his face.

Leo's jaw dropped.

Raph's eyes widened amazingly large, "Sub sub-a-whaty-what?"

Don slapped his hand over his mouth to hide his grin.

Mikey rolled his eyes, "You know, about how protons are made up of quarks and gluons? Sub subatomic particles? Hello?"

Leo decided it was time to make a strategic retreat and slowly slipped out of the Lab into the shadows of the Lair behind him.

Raph just stared flabbergasted at his two younger brothers for a moment, then began to back away with horror pasted across his face, "You two are freakin' weird!" he said before he bolted to the relative safety of his room. And as he ran he was haunted by the laughter of the two younger brothers at his back.

Note: I looked up the science info on Wikipedia so if I horribly miffed it you can blame my sources… XD