Accidental, a star wars fanfic

Dislaimer: I do not own Star Wars.

Accidental.

It has been nineteen months since she last felt his presence through the Force. A year since he consciously hid from her, since he deliberately severed their connection. She had been careless in her search for him, in her ache to reach out to him. He had been adamant in his decision to separate himself from the last thirty years of his life, from his erosion to the Dark, from his inconceivable survival. Saving him - he told her during that day recorded in history as the inevitable Independence of the Galaxy - was a life sentence. But, [she could remember the heat of his breath as he whispered to her ear,] he was thankful. Searching for him through the limitless galaxy had become a habit that has caused countless disappointing falters in her peace during meditations, a blunder she sternly reminded her padawans not to imitate.

It was inevitable, she knew – losing him. He hadn't fully healed when he disappeared from one of the ancillary Resistance bases just hours after he regained consciousness. She had been in Ach-To then, already rebuilding the galaxy's Jedi Order with the aid of other disciples.

She has grown accustomed to it, the solitude of having one's mind to oneself. It allowed her a serenity unavailable during the war. And as time went by, the pang she felt whenever she remembered him lessened until it diminished fully.

It was during those peaceful days, one night in the mess hall, that one of her padawans struck her with an odd question.

"Master Kenobi," the child, Riva, greeted, taking the seat in front of her. "Are you in love?"

Rey finds herself smiling.

"What makes you say that, young one?"

"I could feel it. Sometimes, during meditation, Master. It's the same feeling my dad felt when we lost mum."

Rey finishes her meal and tells her dear padawan before leaving with her dishes,

"I told him that I never meant to fall in love with him. But what he understood was I never did."

"He's too far gone!"

"I—" She hyperventilated, gasping for air as her eyes trembled in anxiety, in desperation on what to do. "I—I can't— I can't leave him."

There was a figure on the balcony, a figure clad in tattered black robes, watching the death of AR-10, of the First Order. His motionlessness scared her as she cautiously approached. The peace that radiated from him, a peace she has never known him possible to achieve, tore through her the instant he turned to her slowly. The expression on his face, reflecting the red and yellow lights of the rupturing base, was eerily serene. And it frightened her, the thought that anyone could so irrevocably welcome death.

She could never tell when she first fell in love with him, this corrupted agent of the Light. But she suspected she had always been, for a long time now.

His attacks grew erratic in frustration. This was no battle, he angrily realized. His thrusts now beating heavily on her, red and yellow cackling in friction. It was a one-sided attack. All the girl was doing was catching his blows in defense. Enraged at the thought of her mind games, Kylo Ren raised a hand and slammed her to the surface behind.

"I know!" She cried at him as she caught herself from falling. "I know everything, Ben!" She repeated in agony, hoping to reach him, aching, dying to share his burden.

"What?" The deep voice behind the mask uttered, nearly incoherent, nearly pausing from his advances.

"Let me help you!"

His breathing grew erratic. His mind suddenly grew numb from a different pain. Overwhelmed from the surge of emotion, Kylo Ren freezes and drops his lightsaber.

"Ben, Ben Solo—" Rey says, eyes glassy as she approached him.

He tries to pick himself up from his stammer and beckons his lightsaber back to hand. But before he knows it, Rey is in front of him, taking his outstretched hand into hers. And he swore, amidst the thick layer of cloth that separated them, he could feel her heart beating in tune with his. The face that hid behind the heavy metal mask, the onyx eyes that squinted at the sweat falling from his temple, his eyes were trembling at his fear being realized - that more than anyone – even Snoke, the beacon of Balance to the Force would know his true identity.

Why are you here?

A smile broke from his face.

Because.

He rushed into the dark forest after her with a deafening drumming in his chest, his ears, his heart. In the shadows, he would finally see her. In the shadows, he would finally let her know.

His saber cackled, slicing through the branches protruding from every perceivable angle.

He was furious, lost. She could sense the agony inside him as she watched him rampage past her, carefully hidden and silent.

"Show yourself!" He bellowed in aggravation, unmasking himself and throwing the piece aside in a loud heavy thud.

She was gravely injured. A battle with an unscathed Sith lord would end her.

Yet.

"I'm here." She spoke, not bothering to move from where she sat, limp from her injuries.

In an instant, Kylo Ren recoils his saber and he approaches her. The heavy steps of his boots fill the void between them. Silently, he kneels beside her, ungloves his pale hands, and a light blue aura fills him.

As he healed her, the girl furiously bleeding, with the power of the Light side of the Force, Rey couldn't keep herself from balling into a hot mesh of tears, saying in incoherent sobs,

"Master Luke was right." She cried in agonizing relief. "There is Light in you."

"Don't be afraid." He told her in a whisper. "I feel it too."

"I—" He inched closer. His breath tickled the side of her cheek. Lost to her brimming emotions, of this fullness in her chest, of their proximity, Rey casts a quivering breath as she closed her eyes. "I," She breathed, his fingers ghosting over her cheek, curious yet afraid to touch her. "I never," She whispered. She could feel his hot breath on her lips. "meant to fall so deeply," he stops, "in love with you." And, as if only wakening, draws back as reason suddenly fills his clouded senses.

He had been so grossly entranced by her, enthralled at the thought of having her close, that he had forgotten who they should be.

"How do you propose to salvage me now?" Kylo Ren challenges her before her fallen comrades. Nothing but the erratic cackling of his saber accompanied the deathly silence. (There is no saving me. I am too far gone. And this, I accept to be my destiny.)

Forget about me.

Then, he is walking towards her in slow strides. And before she could utter a word, he leaned towards her, cupping her hot charcoal-stained cheeks, and closed the gap between them in a subtle yet deep heart-searing kiss.

The man cackled, chasing after the child who in turn giggled as she ran around the room with her wooden saber.

"You have to return that!" He cried after her, still laughing as he did.

From a distance, the ragged young girl caught her sight. Her hazel eyes glinting in the mirth from playing with the tall man who suddenly swept her into his arms.

Then, just like that, as if a simple snap of a finger, Rey meets the man's dark eyes. His was glassy with mirth, fresh and rejuvenated from the teasing run. While hers was trembling in disbelief.

He was out of breath. And a small silly grin was plastered on his face. He was tanner now, the freckles on his face almost invisible. He was clad in the grey and mustard garb of the desolate planet; thinner from the evident lack of supplies and inaction.

In the dead of the night, she hides behind the cloak of her robes and enters a bar in hopes the noises of the night would free her from the agony of her thoughts.

A hooded man slips into the booth beside her. And she nearly breaks.

They don't see each other as he was seated behind her. But she was certain. Ben Solo was there.

No one speaks. As if a lifetime, nothing is uttered. After an hour has passed, he leaves. And, Rey cries.

During that silence, the dialogue that burst between them through the Force brought an unpleasant glimpse of their remorse, the agony of the two war heroes that struck that balance to aright the whole galaxy, to every Force-sensitive individual within the area. For that night, her heart broke in torment. She had found no retrievable sign that would allow her to get Ben to return with her.

Before she leaves the planet, she finds herself in front of a shack, close to breaking down, where a class was being held. There, she is approached by a woman, sickly-looking and frail.

"Why don't you enter?" She says softly in invitation. "You're here for him, aren't you?" The Jedi Knight's eyes widen, turning to the woman beside her. Her tone was pleasant yet Rey could hear the melancholy in her words. "From the instant I saw him, I knew, no matter what he said, he'd leave us." Then, she tries to laugh. "But it's alright," She says. "He was never meant to be here."

"You're—"

Tired hazel eyes meet hers.

"I am."

Rey finds it hard to breath. Yet, she couldn't get herself to leave.

"He's been teaching the Force-sensitive in the community. We were shocked at how many they were." Ben Solo's wife continued to narrate. "A lot of people pass here, lowbrows mostly. This place, it's a marketplace for spare parts, you see." Then, her voice eventually breaks. "He's loved here. Sure," She starts to cry. "There'll always be difficulties. But, we need him here."

She turns to a shocked Rey. The woman's eyes were glinting with desolate tears.

"Please, don't— if you don't have to— don't take him from us." She pleads.

Rey is at a loss as to what to do. The groveling woman holding onto her, begging her to leave, started to cause a stir in the crowd.

"I—I'm not—" She tries to tell her; she tries to lie as she helps the woman to her feet. But she fails, close to breaking herself.

"Kira."

She freezes at the sound of his voice, realizing after all this time, it has been the first time she has heard him speak. Her eyes are wide as she turns to the man who emerged from behind the doors of the school. Ben approaches them. And her heart drums in anticipation. She tries to speak, to tell him not to worry, to apologize for the disturbance, but then— he doesn't even cast her a glance as he falls to his knees to hold the delirious woman on the ground next to her feet.

At this point, something in her breaks but she is too numb to feel anything.

"Kira." His voice was softer, tender as he cupped the woman's cheek and wiped away her tears, her imagined fears. He shushes her and pulls her into an assuring embrace as he tells her, "I'm here. I'm here."

"You have to leave." Kira cries softly next to his ear. "You don't belong here. You never did."

"Mama?" A girl, the child from yesterday, emerges from the school and unsurely runs to them. "Papa?" She turns to her father questioningly. Ben just smiles at his daughter and tells her.

"Your mom's ill again. I have to cut class short again today. Kindly tell the others."

"OK." The child says, then, glances over to Rey curiously before running back into the shack.

Then, Rey finds herself stepping back as Ben sweeps his arms under the nape and legs of his wife and hoists her up into his arms. It was only when he was gone, without a mere acknowledgment nor turn to her direction, that she breaths again and succumbs to the weakness of her knees, falling to the dirt ground beneath her. Her eyes brimmed with unshed tears in absolute and utter loss.

In all her life, in her dreams, the Ben Solo she fantasized holding her, whispering into her ears, the selfless warrior who sacrificed himself to end the budding hegemony of the Dark, the man she saved, the man she loved— he belonged yet again to another world.

It was then that she realized no matter how hard she'd try— she would forever be torn apart from Ben Solo.

"So," Her padawan asked again. "Why are you single? Don't you want to be with him?"

Rey turned to the child with a smile. One that was measured, one that failed to reach her eyes.

"Because I made a mistake." She said, placing a tender pat on the girl's small shoulder before leaving with her dishes. "We both did. I told him I never meant to fall in love with him. But what he heard was I never did." The child turned, hazel eyes following the Jedi master's back in wonder.

Why are you here?

She looked away, unable to keep herself from smiling.

Because, you are.

No other two people had been more so connected in the Force. No other two people more attuned to the each other than they. No other more in love in that time. Yet, they knew even then, even before there was an ounce of certainty to their affection, that they could never be. For even before they met, he had already submitted himself to a darkness he can never surface, an emptiness he swore never to bind her with.

THE END.

A/N: Did you get the twist? YUP. There're twists. Haha! (OK, tip - there are only four characters mentioned in this story.) If you guessed correctly, I'll make a sequel or take on a commission of a fluffy Reylo whatever! Either way, thanks for reading!

Bonus scene, you can take it or leave it.

Also, apologies for the poor execution. Also, haha the reason behind Ben having a family— it's not as "I don't love Rey; I love this woman more." as you think it is. Cookies to those who can guess how Ben in my story came to have a family! Haha!

"You can feel it, right Ben?" Luke smiled at the child he was cradling in his arms. "The Force is strong with her."

The boy nodded, his eyes still on the infant sleeping.

"Don't worry, uncle. I will never falter."